Aurry-chan: Well, I just couldn’t help myself writing this after re-watching Chad’s fight with Kyouraku.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Bleach or any its characters. The amazing Kubo-sensei does.

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Few people disputed the fact that he, Kuchiki Byakuya, made a fine captain. He was a fair man, a good leader, and came from one of Seiretei’s noblest and purest blood. He certainly deserved to be one of the Gotei 13. And how he loathed being stuck with the rest of them. All… seriously all of them either insane, or uncultured, or dumb, or just plain irritating. (Unohana and Hitsugaya being exceptions) And he had to bear them every single week at the captain’s meeting.

Today, as he made his way back to his office after the dreaded affair, which for once was not as boring as usual, he was in a reasonably good mood. And why not? Everything had gone well today, his tea was just the right temperature, and Renji was showing rare non-obnoxious behaviour. Yes, all was right in the world. Oh, and that ass Kyouraku didn’t get on his nerves as usual. In fact the man had seemed too absorbed in his own thoughts to pay much attention to the meeting, which struck Byakuya as distinctly odd.

He was nearing his division offices when he felt the reiatsu of the said man. Byakuya paused, and turned around wearing his permanent disdainful look which almost slipped into a look of absolute surprise when he saw the 8th squad captain. The normally lazy, idiotic, womanizing, sake guzzling, shinigami was gone, and in his place stood one of the two oldest and most powerful captains. Byakuya vaguely wondered where Ukitake was. Surely he was not ill again?

They stared at each other for a few moments, and Byakuya, realizing the other was not going to make any move to break the increasingly uncomfortable silence that was stretching between them, sighed and drawled- “What do you want?” The pink caped man (Oh dear lord, why the hell does he wear that awful thing?) shifted a little, and raised his straw hat to look Byakuya in the eye. “Well, actually, Kuchiki-san, I wanted to discuss something very important with you”

The head of the Kuchiki clan raised an eyebrow. All the same, he felt his curiosity mount. “Go on” Kyouraku looked around carefully, making sure they were absolutely alone. Byakuya doubted anyone would eavesdrop; the combined reiatsu emerging from them would scare off anyone. “I wanted to discuss a few of your battle tactics you see” Kyouraku said. Byakuya didn’t ever try to hide his surprise this time “Oh? And what would you like to discuss?”

Two minutes later

A tremendous rise in reiatsu shocked Hisagi and Kira, who had been loitering around instead of attending to their duties, and they frantically ran towards the source. They found an unconscious Kyouraku, and a seething 6th division captain who looked quite ready to slit the man’s throat with his zanpaktou. “Kuchiki-taichou! Stop!” screamed Hisagi, who recovered faster, while Kira stood gaping at scene. Byakuya paused and glanced at them, his sword ready to swing. Mercifully, he seemed to remember his stature, and strode off offering no explanation. They heaved a sigh of relief when Renji appeared puffing and panting, having sensed his captain’s sudden peak in reiatsu.

“Stay away from sakura. I’ll rip you limb from limb if I ever catch you near a tree. EVER” Byakuya snarled at the confounded Renji before stalking off.

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“Tell me, Kuchiki-san… when you go into battle, I observed on a number of occasions that your entrance is made quite spectacular by those really elegant-looking sakura petals. I never did see anyone scattering them, nor did I see you scattering them yourself… so what’s your secret? Your lieutenant, perhaps?” Kyouraku chirped, bounding forward in a disgusting way. Byakuya stepped back. The absolute fool. He should have known that he’d never have a proper conversation with this maniac.

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