Everybody Hates Roxas

By: Ame Shizuka

Disclaimer: Ame Shizuka does not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or Peter Pan.

Chp. 1 Sleep Over

Ding Dong went the doorbell of Roxas' beloved apartment. It was a dark, Saturday night and the first guest for Roxas' sleepover has just arrived! The blond teen walked to the door in his kitty cat pj's and opened it to see his dear friend Olette in her lingerie glory. Excerpt

"Hi Olette, love your lingerie!" Roxas gave her thumbs up and allowed her in to his apartment.

"I'm not wearing lingerie Roxas," she told the idiot boy. He double-checked and finally realized she was wearing purple pj's.

"Sorry about that," his face turned pink. Yes, it's true, he is crazy. And lately, he's been having weird hallucinations. He let Olette set her things on the big, beige, comfy couch and called his mom in. "YO MOM! OLLY'S HERE!"

"Olette! Olette!" His mom, Mercedes, greeted the girl, choking her with a hug. She always wished Olette were her child instead of Roxas. "Was the ride over here okay?"

"I only live across the street Ms. Unmei," she responded with the most audible voice she possibly could, since she was practically stuck in a headlock. Mercedes let go of Olette and took her stuff into Roxas' room. "I'm guessing I'm the first one here?"

"Yip, yip, and I'm guessing Hayner's still packing his 'dinner.'" Roxas walked over to the stereo and searched for some disks. "'Vadalizer's Guide to Vandalism' or 'Terrorist Hunting for Delinquents?' You choose. Since Hayner chose 'The Fat Man's Not So Fat' last time." He requested to his brunette friend.

"Vandalizer's Guide to Vandalism? Why not," she gave in, knowing that Roxas LOVES vandalism.

"Guess what we're going to do tonight Olly."

"Let me guess," she put her finger to her chin, "vandalizing Tidus' house. Again."

"Correct as usual my friend! But this time, I got my hands on gallons of pink and green paint!"

Olette smirked at Roxas. They would always go and sabotage Tidus' home with an array of things, and paint was a new one.

Ding Dong!

Roxas jumped from the floor and dashed to the door to answer to who else but the…. mail boy! "Dude, you're over seven hours late! How do keep your job?"

"I manage!" replied the mail boy in his usual green suit and red wig. He handed Roxas his mail and flew towards the direction of the second star to the right, back to Neverland.

"Blast you Peter Pan!" Roxas yelled after the mail boy. He closed the door and left the mail for his mom on the countertop.

Ding Dong!

Roxas walked back to the door to answer to his dear friend Pence in his fuzzy red pj's. "Hey Roxas."

"Yo Penny!" Roxas greeted the fat boy and let him into the apartment. Behind Pence was his crazy mom.

"WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LET HIM FORGET TO-"

Roxas slammed the door on Pence's mom and walked back to his two friends. They just sat on the couch and watched The Price is Right on television. "God, this show is so boring. Can't we watch something else?" Pence pleaded to Roxas.

"Not until Hayner's here."

Ding Dong! Roxas marched towards the door for the last time that day. He opened it to see Hayner with one small bag and one huge one stuffed with food. "Took long enough! We had to watch the Price is Right!"

"Well, since I'm here now…. let's EAT!" Hayner opened the huge bag to reveal tons of Kentucky Fried Chicken. "Nothing's better than some good chicken!"

The other three grabbed what they could and devoured the delicious greasy chicken. "So, it is gonna be Tidus again?"

"Is it ever anyone else?" Roxas replied to Hayner as he rubbed his tummy. Hayner has developed an eating problem, and it was Roxas' fault. Roxas accidentally starved Hayner so much, he has to eat something every 20 minutes!

The four friends finally stopped and got their vandalism equipment ready.

"Toilet paper?"

"Check."

"Pink and green paint?"

"Check."

"Plenty of rope?"

"Check."

"Operation…." Roxas started.

"VANDALIZE TIDUS' HOUSE!…. AGAIN!" They all yelled.

You have entirely read chapter one of Everybody Hates Roxas! WOOT! This one is really short, I never make short chapters! You might be wondering why Roxas hates Tidus. I won't tell you until the next chapter, but I will give you a hint! It has to do with a girl! Mmm, I love KFC! I have so many ideas for the fic. I bet you must have thought I'm crazy because of Peter Pan in the disclaimer. He was in the chapter, so I had to put him in the disclaimer! Hope you liked it! Roxas and the gang will be vandalizing Tidus' house in the next chapter, so keep checking for updates! The more reviews I get, the faster I'll update! This is my only fic on this site that only has chapter 1 done. So I need inspiration! Please review!

-Ame Shizuka (P.S. check my profile for more of my fanfics)