Author: SnowRaven PM
Sailor Mercury oneshot. The thoughts of Sailor Mercury after Sailor Jupiter's first death, as she contemplates how useless she is. Kind of sad...don't worry, you won't need the tissue box.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Ami M./Amy/Sailor Mercury - Words: 2,727 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Published: 07-05-01 - Status: Complete - id: 341991
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Standard Disclaimer: I did not assist in any way, shape, or
form in the formulation, creation, or distribution of Sailor
Moon. It is copyrighted to Naoko Takeuchi and some company who's
name I can't recall.
You could have saved her.
Time after time- even against impossible odds- we had escaped death. There had been many enemies that had been fully capable of destroying us all...Malachite...Zoistie....Jadeite... and yet each time we had managed to elude it. Not this time. Finally, so close to the battle that would decide it all, death had found us.
You could have saved her, the angry, taunting voice in the back of my mind said. You saw the opening. You could have saved her.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. I wanted to clap my hands over my ears and scream. But I didn't. I merely stared at the tiny, black symbols scrolling across the screen of my computer, for once not comprehending nor caring about a thing they were telling me. I could only see the horrible scene replaying itself over and over in front of my eyes.
Makoto struggling against the grasp of five deadly, scantily-clad youma. Rei and Minako searching helplessly for a way to attack without fatally injuring Jupiter. Usagi screaming in rage and fear. Makoto unleashing an electrical blast which incinerated one of the enemy but damaged her own delicate, human body beyond repair.
And me? I stood there and watched- seeing in my mind how we could save her. It would have been so easy. A spurt of fire or the crescent beam between the blue and the red creatures, searing their tentacles and forcing them to recoil, leaving the other three open to attack. Jupiter could have escaped in the ensuing confusion. Easy. The plan had taken me less than a second to formulate, yet I had been incapable of carrying it out.
You could have saved her. If you had been Mars or Venus or even Sailor Moon you could have saved her. But you're not. You're Mercury. Useless.
Useless. It hurt. But it was true. I had no fire, no lightning, no tiara. Only weak, lousy, ineffective bubbles. Useless. The word tasted bitter in my mouth. I wanted to spit it out or forget about it. But I didn't. I held the word in my mind until it burned, repeating it over and over. Useless. Useless. Useless. The only thing that was of any use to my princess was my intelligence, and even that had failed in her moment of need. Useless.
The insistent beeping of my computer interrupted my silent torture. I glanced at the tiny, gray screen. The rapid calculations had ceased, coming to a single, startling conclusion. I instinctively looked behind me. "It's them."
The empty, shocked gazes of Rei and Minako filled with anger. They stepped forward. "Right!"
"No!" I threw out my arms, forming a barrier. I felt my face twisting into an expression of firm defiance. "Go on without me. I'll hold them off."
"But...." Rei looked at me as if I had gone mad. I stared into her almond-shaped, violet eyes, willing her to understand.
"From now on your offensive powers are more important than mine." I turned away. "Go."
Don't you see? I pled silently, This is the only thing I can do for you right now. I'm useless. Go. Protect our Princess. Defeat Beryl. Make Mako-chan's death worth something.
There was a soft gasp of sorrow and frustration. I glanced back. Usagi had her hand clenched to her lips, her large, innocent blue eyes filling with tears. That vibrant, childish voice that I had learned to love so well spoke, muffled, from behind the glove-covered fist. "Ami-chan....why?"
I smiled, evading the question. It is all I can do.... " Good luck."
"Answer me!" Usagi cried.
Minako-chan watched me steadily with serious blue eyes and then bobbed her head in a slight nod, as if coming to a decision. The leader of the Senshi took Usagi by the shoulders. "Let's go."
I watched them disappear into the endless, white landscape. Usagi kept her eyes locked onto mine even as Minako- whose eyes also lingered on me- led her away. Rei marched ahead of the two blondes with her eyes fixed on the horizon. I was grateful to the priestess. She had moved on to the next task with military resolve, showing that she fully trusted and accepted my decision.
With resolute finality I ceased to watch their retreating backs and turned my eyes to my computer. I knew that I probably would not be able to help my princess by killing one of the enemy- as Mako-chan had- but I could stall for a few precious seconds. As the minutes ticked by in monotonous succession I began to wonder just how many seconds that would be. Not sure if this was quite sane, I set up a timer in the bottom left-hand corner of my screen. Four black 0's winked into existence. I would let it count just how many seconds my life was worth.
I looked up in surprise as a figure materialized in front of me, an unconscious boy in a navy-blue school uniform, suspended in the air by a cord lashed around his wrists. Greg. I smiled and tapped the button on my keyboard that started the timer. 00:01. My visor appeared. The battle had begun.
* * * * * *
We materialized in the air above them, hovering in silence as we surveyed the terrain. A lone figure stood below us, a splash of blue against the whiteness of the snow.
"Kanoe," one of my sisters hissed. "There's only one of them!"
"No kidding!" I snapped. Inwardly I cursed. There had- of course- been considerable trouble in calming my sisters after Jupiter had fried Nuriko. After taking ten valuable minutes with that, I discovered that the electrical charge had interfered with my tracking system, making it lose some of its more delicate functions, such as being able to trace individual energy sources. I had hoped to finish off Mercury and Venus in one strike, but it seemed that I would have to adjust that part of the plan.
I ordered my sisters to materialize in the ground below as I began to generate a field of illusion. I saw the features of the blue-haired Senshi soften as she looked up, but instead of reacting, she merely smiled and touched her right earring. Her visor flickered to life. Frustrated that she had not reacted to the image of her loved one, I touched my headpiece, using it to contact my sister.
The ground erupted in fiery fury a wave of lava crawled
rapidly towards our target. I melted into the molten rock and
smiled as the warmth caressed my skin. My sisters grasped my
hands. I added my energy to theirs and waited. Would we really be
able to kill her so easily? Or would she put up more of a fight?
My headpiece beeped in alarm as it recorded a burst of high
energy. The lava hardened around us as the temperature dropped
* * * * * *
The three youma shot through the surface of the hardened lava. Their white wings fanned out into the air as they glared at me coldly, joining hands. My computer shrilled a warning as raw energy pooled between them, forming into a fiery sphere. I shrieked and leapt desperately away as it descended.
I dug my heels into the snow as I landed. The inferno thundered towards me in a maelstrom of red and gold. I twisted my right earring. My visor materialized and immediately locked onto the approaching firestorm. Red lines demonstrated the sphere of energy the youma had created as white charts and symbols rapidly calculated velocity, energy level, temperature, and a hundred other bits of information. I winced. The flame would incinerate me upon impact if I didn't protect myself. Eventually the computer zeroed in on the forms of the three youma in the center, gathering information. My fingers danced quickly over the keys of my mini-computer as I ordered a more thorough search. I had a hunch.....
Yes! The visor's sight centered in on the forehead of the blond youma, the leader. Writing scrolled across the screen and charts appeared as the computer began to tell me what this seemingly harmless headpiece could do. Read energy levels. Tracked energy sour- I looked up. Waves of heat washed over me as the sphere approached, deadly and destructive.
My eyes narrowed. This was it. The visor disappeared. I raised my hands above my head, feeling the power surge through me. "Shabon Spray!!!"
Instead of releasing the energy in a blast of bubbles and allowing it to spread into fog, I narrowed the scope of the attack. A white, opaque sphere- dancing with mist- formed in my hands. I released it as I crossed my arms over my stomach, mentally molding it into a protective column of cold air and mist.
I felt the heat dissipate around my shield as the flaming sphere collided with me. I screwed my eyes shut and clutched the center of my bow, seeking the strength to maintain my protective bubble. Suddenly something snaked around my waist. My eyes flew open as I gasped in shock. Several vines and tentacles twined around my abdomen, ensnaring me. They tightened.
A red glow ignited around me as energy crackled along my bonds. My back arched in agony as a burning sensation swept through my body. I sagged as the pain stopped. My three captors materialized out of the flames, smiling in triumph.
The leader's lips curled into a crafty grin. "Where are your friends now?"
"I don't know," I lied, panting for air.
"Oh?" The eyes of another youma- the one with the pale green skin and the silky, gray hair- narrowed. "Well maybe we can use your little computer to find out."
The leader gave a short bark of laughter. "Ha!"
The flesh of her other arm writhed and became another mass of tentacles. They snaked around my rib cage as the world exploded in an angry, burning red. A hotter, sharper pain coursed along my veins, stabbing into my spine and causing stars to ignite in front of my eyes. This time they carried it on longer, until my screams began to fade into exhaustion.
I collapsed against my bonds, shuddering violently. The leader chuckled. I forced my eyes open, blinking blearily to clear the bright stars of pain out of my vision. I weakly brought my computer to my face, using my index finger to open it a crack. My eyes sought out the little timer.
I fought the desire to laugh. Eleven minutes and forty-two seconds. Eleven minutes and forty two seconds! My lips curved in a smile. Usagi, my leader, my princess, my friend, Jupiter gave her life for you, Jupiter destroyed an enemy for you, but me, oh yes, I have given you eleven minutes and forty-two seconds! The awards, the grades, the praise all meant nothing. In the end, everything in my life amounted to these eleven minutes and forty-two seconds. Whoopee.
Maybe we can use your little computer to find out...
"This is all I can give you...." I said quietly.
With a last act of will I rose and smashed my faithful, little computer into the forehead of that stupid, arrogant, blue-skinned youma with the rippling gold hair. The surface of my computer splintered beneath my fingers as fragments of the youma's shattered headpiece fell to the ground.
Her grip around my waist loosened as she gasped at her sisters to let me go. I stood - paralyzed- as they flitted away, the leader shaking her head in pain and disorientation. I collapsed bonelessly into the hard ice as the edges of my vision began to blur, my life fading with every second.
Despair welled up in my heart as a single, hot tear trailed down my cheek. I don't know what I thought destroying my computer or the youma's headpiece would do. They would still find the others. They would still battle. One side or the other would win. In the end, my little contribution meant nothing but a little bit more time. Useless. Absolutely useless. My head lolled to one side as my eyes flickered shut.
"Eleven minutes and forty-two seconds," I whispered.
* * * * * *
If Sailor Mercury had not destroyed her headpiece the youma might have known that the limp, raven-haired Senshi she held- despite all appearances- was not dead. If the headpiece had been working the youma would have been warned that the Senshi was in fact, gathering energy.
But Sailor Mercury had destroyed her headpiece and so the youma did not know that Sailor Mars was not dead. So it came as a complete surprise when the white-gloved hand seized her tentacles.
"I will never let you hurt her." The head of the seemingly dead girl turned, revealing a single, violet eye narrowed in pain and rage. The youma gasped in fear and shock as the full knowledge of what was about to happen descended upon her.
The hand tightened. "FIRE SOUL!"
Except for the little bit with Mercury's timer and the dialogue- since I am singularly incapable of understanding Japanese- this fic is basically correct when it comes to events. Mercury did indeed smash the youma's tracking system with her computer. I was upset when they didn't show this in the NA version because it looked like Mercury just sat there and died.
However, one of the biggest scenes we were cheated out of in the good, ol' DIC dub was Mars's death scene. Ahhh!!! That was one of the most touching scenes- in my opinion- in the whole show and they CUT it! To summarize what happened, Usagi was staring at the big ice mound thingie Mars was trapped in with a blank, empty gaze when the green youma shot out of the ground behind her. The youma shouted something in Japanese as her arms turned into a mass of spike/tentacles. Usagi watched her approaching death with a stupid, little half-smile until a stream of flame burned through the ice, incinerating the youma in the air. (Very cool looking!)
Usagi gasps as she realizes that Rei is alive. The resulting hole in the ice mound shows flashes of light as Rei screams in pain. Explosion and the mound collapses in on itself. The blond youma rises above the wreckage with a limp Rei in her tentacles. She sets the Senshi down and starts to rise, talking to Usagi. A hand reaches out and grabs a tentacle. Rei speaks in this soft, deadly voice (gives me shivers ^_^) and then slowly turns her head. The youma gasps in shock and fear as the camera zooms in on Rei's angry face. Rei says one, single word and then screams "Soul!". The youma perishes in a firestorm of flame. (Very, impressive. Even better than the last one!)
I woke up this morning with this fic idea grabbing by the throat and shaking me quite violently, screaming: Write me! Write me! I really didn't feel like it since I was _trying_ to have half a dozen other fics ready by next week. However, when anyone- including a fic idea- threatens to slit my throat I succumb to the pressure. So lo and behold this fanfic was born.
La la la. This is my first _completed_ fanfic and I must admit, one of my _worst_. So please be gentle. *clasps hands* Please?
Thanx to WISH - 'specially Starry-chan- and to Matt-sama, whose fic I _should_ have been working on.