Contains spoilers up to ch. 238 of the manga, and maybe a couple later on, but if you’re that far behind you probably shouldn’t be reading fanfiction.

This fic is rated T for some mature-ish content, such as language, violence and some sexuality, but will probably not spill over into M category.

February 2008: This was started way back when I had no idea what I was doing, so it has now gone through a complete overhaul in the interest of continuing it and making it a decent read. The plot and previous content is still the same, but it’s been heavily revamped for quality.

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Chapter one:

The wind whipped fiercely down the narrow alleyway, raking across the corrugated metal scraps that patchworked the run-down buildings, causing them to rattle and emit a low hollow moaning sound. The hanging signs of the many shops swung perilously from their brackets, chains creaking loudly in the quiet of early morning. The usually crowded district was silent, an instant ghost town, as if the bustling patrons knew instinctively to avoid the scene playing itself out in the narrow street.

Shizune looked about the ominous surroundings felt an odd sense of de-ja-vu. It was like one of those scenes in those weird samurai movies where they duel each other over the most ridiculous things. She wondered vaguely if any second someone (possibly the equally ridiculous white haired man across the way), would start to whistle that mournful tune that always went with these scenarios in the movies.

The wind whipped her short hair into her face and she squinted to avoid getting an eyeful of dust. Only it was not high noon but early morning (too early), and she knew that her sense of de-ja-vu was not brought on by a movie, but by the fact that the exact same thing had happened, in the exact same alley, just a week ago. It was all rather over-dramatic, she thought as she watched the two people in front of her face off for what. The petite blonde woman in front of her stood squarely, hands on hips, and proceeded to taunt the short unruly boy across from her with a delicate red painted digit, reminding him once again that a single, well manicured finger was all she needed to whoop his scrawny ass. This of course enraged the small boy (just like last time) and he began another tirade of his own taunting and bragging.

Shizune looked to Jiraiya across the way, who stood with his arms folded across his wide chest and a very amused smirk on his face. She rolled her eyes for what seemed like the tenth time that morning. He was no help at all. In fact he seemed to take some perverse pleasure at the prospect of seeing Naruto about to get knocked around by Tsunade. Again. And how was it that he managed to look all glorious with his long white hair whipping out behind him, while she probably looked like she let rats sleep on her head? Men. With a sigh that was swallowed by the wind, she looked despairingly down at the small pig in her arms, who looked up at her with a sympathetic grunt. At least someone thought this was as ridiculous as she did. Just figures it would be Tonton… Feeling sorry for herself that her companions seemed to have less sense than a farm animal, she pushed her messy, windblown hair out of her face and wondered how she always seemed to end up in these situations.

This morning they had been sitting in the same small pub where they all fatefully met a little over a week ago, about to have breakfast before heading out on the long journey to Fire country. It had been two days since the titanic battle against Orochimaru, the likes of which Shizune thought (and hoped) would never be seen again in this world.

Shizune had watched her mentor closely as the blonde woman had talked quietly with Jiraiya, who sat across the table from her. She appeared rested and recovered from her battle and use of the Genesis of Rebirth jutsu, at least physically. It had been a long time since she had seen Tsunade’s true face, and it had reminded her how old she actually was. Now the Genesis of Rebirth had taken even more years from her life. Tsunade was like a mother and big sister all in one to her, and she couldn’t bear to think of a day when she may not be around. Tsunade was a Sannin, a legendary warrior. She won’t go down easily. But still, she couldn’t help but think of the battle two days ago and how for a second she thought that Orochimaru had killed her when she threw herself in front of a blow meant for Naruto. Shizune had desperately wanted to help, but in a battle with legendary Sannin she would only have gotten killed. Not to mention she had been quickly neutralized by Kabuto, and she was still miffed about that fact. She was a jounin damn it! Was being the operative word, as she hadn’t been in a real fight in years and it clearly showed. She silently vowed to start training again ASAP.

The fact that Tsunade had risked her life for the obnoxious boy yet was about to pound him into the dirt again, was the cause of many of Shizune’s eye rolls that morning. She knew that Tsunade wouldn’t act so childishly toward a twelve year old kid unless he really got to her, but she knew why that was. The resemblance to Tsunade’s little brother Nawaki was uncanny, as was his attitude. His resemblance to someone else was even stranger, and she reminded herself to ask Jiraiya about it as soon as she could. Shizune knew that this kid reminded Tsunade of her brother, her lover, and their ideals and dreams. That was why they were returning to Konoha after eight years away, so that Tsunade could fulfill those dreams in their place.

Their pasts had returned suddenly and slapped them both in the face, reminding them that they couldn’t run forever, no matter how much they thought otherwise. As they had been waiting for their order to be delivered Shizune had often looked across the table to Jiraiya and noticed the way his eyes seemed to shift around the dingy restaurant before sliding back to Tsunade’s face as they quietly and carefully skirted their conversation around any sensitive subjects. It was obvious that they were both a little uncomfortable after all these years. Shizune wondered if the toad sage still had feelings for her mentor after all this time. It certainly seemed so. What had they said to each other that night that he had asked her to have a drink alone with him? She knew she’d never get it out of Tsunade; she just wasn’t one to talk about those things, especially when it concerned truths she refused to admit to herself. Of course, Shizune wasn’t one to talk about deep feelings either, and couldn’t help but wonder what she would do when she came face to face with her own past.

She hadn’t had time to dwell on that dreaded subject because shortly after their food arrived Naruto had finally decided to let them know what he was in such a funk about. He had made one of the strangest faces she had ever seen and proceeded to list the reasons why, in his opinion, Tsunade was not qualified to be Hokage. Shizune had watched with growing alarm as Tsunade’s eye began to twitch with every negative adjective the boy was throwing at her. Alarm turned to full on panic as the words deceptive, stupid, and hag came out of his mouth. She had quickly tried to do damage control and distract her mentor with ordering more food, but it was too late; and ugly vein had popped out on Tsunade’s forehead and she had launched across the table into the boys face and demanded a brawl.

Now here they were again, another ridiculous face-off that promised to be no better than the last one.

Shizune had no more time to think about the stupidity of what she was watching for the second time in a week, because suddenly with a fierce battle cry Naruto was launching himself at Tsunade, who simply stood there with an evil smirk on her red lips. It was no surprise to the three spectators when Tsunade, as promised, used only her index finger to disarm the boy of his kunai, flip the hitai-ate off of his head, and ready the final blow. Naruto seemed to already know his fate and squeezed his eyes shut in preparation for another Finger Flick of Doom. But then, instead of sending him flying with her insane strength, Tsunade leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on the boy’s forehead.

Shizune watched with surprise as Naruto opened startled cerulean eyes to stare at the smiling woman before him.

“Become a good man,” Tsunade said benevolently, ruffling the boy’s unruly blond hair and flashing her biggest, prettiest smile.

“Believe it!” he beamed up at her, stretching his arms behind his head.

Shizune gave a breathy laugh of relief that was echoed by Tonton’s excited squeal and Jiraiya’s hearty chuckle. She was glad those two had finally worked it out. Now she wouldn’t have to worry about healing another concussion to the poor kid’s already rattled brain. The journey home was certainly going to be interesting, she thought as she placed Tonton on the ground to walk beside her.

“Alright, let’s head out! Konoha is a few days’ journey from here,” Tsunade called behind her, already beginning to walk away.

Shizune belatedly wondered if anybody had remembered to pay the bill as she hurried after.

“What! Hey! I haven’t finished eating yet!” Naruto cried plaintively, tripping over himself to catch up to the receding figures ahead.

---

This feels like heaven, Shizune mused as she sunk down to chin level in the onsen. The spring’s hot, steamy, mineral rich water was doing wonders for her tired muscles and aching head. Not for the first time she cursed her current choice of footwear as she massaged her sore arches on the bench across from her. She really hoped Jiraiya was elsewhere and not peeking into the women’s side of the spa because she was just too tired to care if he saw her at the moment. She relaxed into the hot water, molding herself into the sides and bench beneath her, and let her mind wander.

She had thought after the escapade with Tsunade and Naruto outside the pub two days ago that the rest of their journey home would be rather uneventful, but in retrospect she realized she should have known better. After all they did have Jiraiya the Legendary Pervert Weirdo, and Konoha’s Number One Most Obnoxious Loudmouth traveling with them. Despite protests all around, Tsunade had wanted to stop at this town’s famous hot spring, and it was only too easy for the blonde to manipulate the other Sannin into agreeing by mentioning the unisex portion of the resort. Although Shizune suspected it was the prospect of peeping on Tsunade and not the other female patrons that had made him change his mind, still he remained true to form and spent the entire day in the unisex bath waiting for girls to show up.

Their little detour was turning out to be a fabulous idea, until she had been forced to spend the whole day trying to sort out a situation with some debt collectors and chasing Naruto around town with multiple kage-bunshin. Henge’d kage-bunshin to be more precise. Tsunade, on the other hand, spent the whole day drinking and reminiscing with some old yakuza friend while Shizune ran herself ragged trying to cover her mentor’s ass. She reminded herself not to be resentful of the irresponsible soon-to-be Hokage, because Tsunade was family and had given her more than she could ever repay. But in the aftermath of that fiasco she was utterly exhausted from the stress of managing Tsunade’s debt and expending more chakra than she had in years. She fully intended to spend the next few hours in the hot relaxing water until she shriveled up like a prune, making the most of their time before they had to leave.

However she was roused from her drowsy state by feminine screams from one of the nearby bathing sectors. “What the hell…?” she whined to herself, looking around blearily for the source of the disturbance. “Ugh! Jiraiya…such a pervert!” She was absolutely positive that the noisy shrieks and splashes had something to do with their white haired traveling companion. She rolled her eyes. Her wonderful relaxation was over. Story of my life…she thought ruefully as she reached for her big, fluffy towel. She finished drying off and wrapped the spa provided robe around her as quickly as possible; half expecting the old Sannin to come barreling through the bamboo fence surrounding her spring, chased by hordes of angry, naked women. Her stomach rumbled plaintively and she realized she hadn’t eaten since breakfast, so she quickly returned to her room to dress and gather everyone up for dinner.

Dinner was uneventful save for Naruto’s noisy babbling. He ranted about everything from his favorite type of ramen to his friends and teammates and their antics. Shizune noticed his bright eyes seemed to cloud a bit when he talked about what had happened to him and his friends at the chuunin exams several weeks ago. But he still managed to keep that huge grin on his face, and she was struck by how much internal strength he seemed to have; like his will and the size of his smile alone could hold the entire world together. He was like him in almost every single way. As she watched his animated storytelling, she noticed that Tsunade was watching him with a curious expression as well. It was clear that her mentor knew more than she did, and Jiraiya even more than that, at this point she was just waiting for a chance to bring it up.

As it turned out she didn’t have to wait long or do the asking. As soon as Naruto wandered off to bed Tsunade leaned her elbows on the table and fixed the white haired Sannin with a shrewd look.

“Naruto…he’s the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, isn’t he?”

Shizune stared between the two with wide eyes. Sure she had suspected it, but to have it laid out point blank like this was still a bit surprising.

Jiraiya however, looked back at the blonde woman blankly as if he’d already known what she was about to ask. “Hmm,” he grunted with a single nod of assent as he downed another sake.

“Is that why you took him as an apprentice? Because of him?”

“Partly. I also see a lot of my younger self in him. I understand what drives him.” He smiled nostalgically, staring at his clasped hands.

“Yeah…he kind of does remind me of you back then,” she laughed softly, sharing that same smile. “Does he know?” Tsunade pressed after a moment, all business once more.

Jiraiya was obviously uncomfortable with this subject, but feltinclined to answer. After all she was going to be the Hokage and she needed to know these things. However he still sighed in annoyance before giving his reply. “He knows he’s the Nine Tails’ vessel and that it was sealed inside him by the Yondaime Hokage, and that the sealing jutsu required the Fourth to sacrifice his life. He knows nothing else,” he finished with a pointed look to both women.

“How is it possible that he never found out?” Tsunade asked incredulously.

Shizune really wanted to know the answer to that herself. She hadn’t known the full truth back then when it all happened. She was only sixteen, a mere chuunin and not privy to such secrets. But she did remember the brilliant handsome and charming man, only a few years older than her, who gave his life for his village that tragic night. Even if Tsunade hadn’t told her several years ago, it would be blatantly obvious to her every time she looked into those same blue eyes.

“You know Sarutobi-sensei forbade any mention of the facts surrounding that event in order to protect Naruto,” he continued, “Unfortunately while the truth wasn’t revealed under pain of death, that didn’t stop those few bastards who knew from finding ways to make the village, and its new generation of children, despise Naruto and treat him most cruelly. That was not what the Fourth wanted when he sealed the demon fox inside him. He had intended him to be looked at as a hero, but there are some ignorant fools who actually think of Naruto as the fox itself. Very few know his true identity, and I wonder if they had known, would they have treated him so harshly…? The boy has had a very difficult life up to now,” he ended with another heavy sigh.

Shizune listened in amazed silence as the old hermit’s heavy words filled the quiet room. She suddenly felt very sad for Naruto, and could only imagine what he must have gone through in his short life. No wonder he was so desperate for attention and recognition, no wonder he tried so hard, until he collapsed from exhaustion, to be the best he can possibly be.The Sannin’s words sure explained a lot about the boy, but it didn’t explain everything.

“But hasn’t he ever asked? He never wondered about his parents? Why he grew up alone? Among other…physical things…” Shizune asked very quietly, as if afraid the topic of their conversation would walk in any second.

“Well, I’ve only known the boy for a few weeks, but no, I don’t’ think he’s ever asked who his parents were. And he’s a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to certain things, if you know what I mean. However…I have a feeling that deep down inside he already knows. The kid has an instinctive need to achieve greatness, and believes he has to surpass the Yondaime to do so. Not the Sandaime, who he knew personally, nor any Hokage in general, but he specifically feels a connection to the Fourth. I don’t think he’s consciously aware of the implications of that yet, but its there on a subconscious level. I think he feels it, but isn’t ready to face what all of that would mean. So he doesn’t ask.”

“Well, whether he’s ready to face it or not,” Tsunade’s said dryly, “sooner or later it will have to be confronted. I mean the kid looks exactly like him. Acts a lot like him too, and those things are going to become more and more obvious as time goes by, especially now that he’s getting older. And it won’t help matters that you taught him the Rasengan,” she glared pointedly at Jiraiya. “He may not be the sharpest nail in the bucket, but other people are going to notice soon enough, and start to talk,” she finished as she leaned tiredly back into the booth, crossing her arms over her ample bosom.

“Well, when that time comes I expect you will have a brilliant solution, my lovely Hokage-sama,” Jiraiya said with insipid sweetness and an evil smirk as he downed the last of his sake, ignoring the death glare being sent his way by honey colored eyes.

---

They spent the rest of their meal in relative silence, each of them too preoccupied with their own thoughts to attempt small talk. Eventually Jiraiya wandered off to do whatever Jiraiya did at night, and Shizune and Tsunade returned to their own room.

Tsunade promptly flopped onto the couch, feeling the effects of two bottles of sake and finally relaxing enough to let it show. Shizune unstrapped and removed her heeled shoes from her still aching feet and began to collect the rest of their belongings, making sure they were all set for tomorrow, since she knew it would take most of the following morning to get her mentor up and moving.

Shizune noticed Tsunade rubbing her temples, and knew it wasn’t due to the effects of alcohol. “Would you like your pills or some water, Tsunade-sama?”

She got a short grunt and a slow shake of a blonde head for an answer.

“Are you ready to face it all again?” she asked quietly.

Tsunade gave her a withering look and raised a finely plucked brow. “Are you?”

She had asked herself that same question numerous times over the last week, and still didn’t have an answer. So she returned her companion’s attempt at deflection with one of her own. “I’m sure everything will be fine, I mean they asked for you right? The situation is pretty desperate so I’m sure the last thing on their minds will be giving you crap –”

“Hah! You don’t remember the elders like I do, Shizune. They never liked me very much, that pair of uptight geezers. And they were Sarutobi-sensei’s teammates and old friends so I’m sure I’m in for a long career of never measuring up. Oh well, I guess it can’t be helped” she finished with a heavy sigh.

“And Jiraiya?” she asked carefully, wary of causing her mentor to possibly throwing something at her.

“What about him?”

“Well…it’s been a long time since you’ve seen each other. Aren’t you glad to see him again? At least a little?”

“Heh. Not when he’s playing the part of the storm crow.”

“That’s not what I meant, Tsunade-sama. He can’t help being the bearer of bad news.”

“He only came to find me because he didn’t want to do it. He’s probably afraid they won’t let him write any more porn. What’s with this line of questioning anyway?”

“Well…it’s just that its been a long time, and I noticed you two seem at kind of a loss for words for having close to ten years of life to talk about. I guess I’m just wondering how you feel seeing him again. Is it weird? Are you happy? I mean he’s your old teammate, a friend…” she trailed off uncertainly, not sure what else to say about it.

Truthfully she did have an agenda. She was trying to glean some advice on a subject that was troubling her without letting on. Unfortunately it didn’t seem as thoughTsunade was in the mood to be perceptive or helpful.

“Shizune I have no idea what you’re talking about. Yeah he’s an old friend, although a troublesome one. I’m glad he hasn’t keeled over yet, is that what you want to hear? I’m too tired for your weird questions tonight.”

Shizune thought the woman was more than tired; she was oblivious. Am I the only one who notices the things around me? Jeez. She decided it was useless to point out what someone clearly didn’t want to see.

“Would you like anything before I go to bed?”

“I’m fine Shizune. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight shishou.” She made her way to the bedroom and sat on the edge of one of the beds. She was exhausted, but her mind was restless, plagued by shadowy thoughts she wasn’t ready to examine. She could already feel the anxiety building, and knew she wouldn’t be getting much sleep.

---

The next day came far too early. Tsunade was never an easy person to wake up, and fear of bodily harm didn’t make it any easier, so most of Shizune’s time was spent prying her out of bed (literally and figuratively). The unspoken thoughts about the day ahead of them gave the morning a heavy atmosphere, and it was clear the adult members of their party were not in the mood for chitchat as they had a quick breakfast and set out on the road.

The open countryside was quiet, broken only by Naruto’s squeaky prepubescent voice, boisterous and irrepressible as ever as he babbled about all the things he would do when he got home. The first of which was to eat at Ichiraku. Shizune gave a small smile as she remembered the popular ramen shop and its kindly owner. She began to wonder what it would be like to be home again; to see all the old places, talk to the people she once knew.

Apparently that was the question on everyone’s mind this morning. Naruto finally caught on to the somber atmosphere and stopped talking, busying himself with kicking rocks along the dirt road. Shizune tried to ignore the tightening feeling in the pit of her stomach at the thought of coming face to face with the past she’d left behind eight years ago. Despite her best efforts, she spent the majority of the morning thinking about how she had come to this place in her life.

She had been born in Konoha, the daughter of a dedicated kunoichi. Shizune was being raised to become one as well and was eager to follow in her mother’s footsteps. But then her mother had died when she was eight; one of the countless casualties of the war that encompassed the entirety of her childhood. Her father was a civilian, and was devastated by his wife’s death. Cursing the harsh shinobi lifestyle, and ignoring the arguments of her mother’s brother (and only remaining family), he took Shizune and moved with her to the far north; to a small village in the mountainous country between the Bird and Waterfall nations.

It was a small and insignificant land; with no major exports and no hidden village. It was exactly what her father had intended. Their village was nestled high in the cliffs. There was a constant layer of fog, and the terrain was dull and barren save for the random scrub bushes and the occasional tiny, sun-starved flower. It was as if everything was withering and dying, wanting to flourish but oppressed by the cold.

Shizune had often felt that the world around her reflected her own feelings. She missed Fire country badly. She missed the warm sun and the ancient forests filled with the sounds and signs of life. Here everything was faded and gray. Her father had once had family here, but they were all gone now. There were no children her age, no school, and the villagers were not friendly like they had been back home. More than anything she missed Konoha, missed the friends she had begun to make, and missed her mother. The next two years of her life had been very lonely and boring, with nothing to do and nowhere to go. She felt as if that place was slowly draining the color and life out of her like it did everything else. She began to resent her father for taking her from the happy life she once knew. There was nothing for her here, and she knew she was meant for more than this. All she could do was wait until she was old enough to return home.

The irony of that memory to her current situation was not lost on her.

She was ten when that small cliffside village was hit by a terrible earthquake, resulting in a rockslide that buried half the town. Shizune had been home alone when the quaking began, and hid under her bed to avoid any falling furniture. It was not furniture but the entire house that had collapsed on top of her small hiding space. Terrified and isolated in the tiny compartment that saved her from a crushing, brutal death, she feared she was the only person left alive and there would be no rescue; just the slow, creeping certainty of starvation and dehydration.

She was trapped under her bed for two days before the survivors of the disaster managed to dig her out. Her father had not been among them; he like so many others had been crushed by the tons of debris and sliding rock.

It was then that the shock set in. She had survived, but her home was destroyed and she was utterly alone. The few survivors banded together in the days following and tried their best to pick up the pieces. It was a poor country, so there would be no help from the government. Shizune was given food and a place to sleep at night, but she knew that wouldn’t last for long, and she had no idea how she was going to make her way. During the day she was ignored so she spent her time helping clear what debris she could carry, trying to figure out how she would manage to get to Konoha. She didn’t even know how to get there, of if they would let her back in.

Then one day two weeks after the landslide, her salvation came to her in the form of a vaguely familiar man with an open face and kind eyes. He was her uncle, Dan, he said, her mother’s last surviving relative, and he was there to take her home. Back to Konoha. Shizune had never been an emotional child, but that day she had broken down and threw herself at that kind man who was practically a stranger and sobbed herself to sleep, face buried in his jounin vest. The very next day they left for the Leaf village, hand in hand.

It was beginning to get warm as they entered the heart of Fire country. Shizune wished they would stop to rest soon; her feet were killing her. But she wasn’t the complaining type and if two senior citizens could do it without complaint then damn it, so could she. Naruto obviously didn’t share her sentiment as he soon began to whine about being hungry, and was clearly not going to shut up until someone did something about it.

They stopped to eat their packed lunches, and Naruto and Jiraiya engaged in a loud, animated conversation. But Shizune wasn’t really listening. She took off her increasingly detested shoes and sat quietly, watching the wind blow through the trees. She didn’t have much of an appetite. They would be reaching Konoha by sunset; she needed to prepare herself for what was coming.

Shizune remembered very clearly the first time she met the Sandaime. Uncle Dan had taken her before the already aging Hokage to explain her situation and ask for her to be allowed to re-enter the academy. She had been scared; she wanted to go back to school so badly, and didn’t know what to expect upon meeting the great leader of the Leaf. But as she stood quietly next to her uncle she could hardly believe this petite, kindly old man was the most powerful ninja in all of Fire country.

She was even more surprised when he turned to her, placing a spotted hand on her head, and asked her what she thought of it all, what she wanted to do. No one had ever asked her opinion before; she was a child and was always told what to do, what was good for her. She had returned his warm gaze and told him with all the maturity she could muster that she wanted to become a great ninja, like her mother and uncle. He had smiled at her and told her that it was good, and she could take the placement test as soon as she liked. She felt then that she knew why this little old man was the great Hokage, and felt that she would do anything, if he asked it of her.

She smiled sadly at the memory. He had truly been a kind and wise old man, and she regretted that she missed his memorial. She felt anger rise when she thought about the reason he was dead; they would make sure that snake bastard paid for all he has done. Pushing that thought aside she continued to reminisce about the past as the afternoon sun began to heat the air around her. That feeling in her stomach was becoming stronger as the miles grew shorter, and soon enough they were on the final leg of their journey. They were entering the deep woods now, and the thick canopy blocked out most of the heat from the late afternoon sun, creating a hazy, sedated atmosphere. Only an hour or two and she would be seeing those giant red gates again for the first time in eight years.

Her return to the Academy had been a smooth transition. She was smarter than average and caught up to her age groups’ curriculum quickly. The years flew by and she made chuunin and then jounin with no problems. Those were happy and carefree years, so different from her time away from home that it seemed like a bad dream. She loved her life in Konoha, living with her uncle Dan and his girlfriend Tsunade. She adored her uncle; he had such passion for life and loved the Leaf Village with all his heart. His very presence was inspiring. She began to think of him as more of a father than her own had been. Tsunade was the Shodaime’s granddaughter and the student of the Sandaime himself. She was a smart, talented medic and the most beautiful woman Shizune had ever seen. She had wanted to become just like her.

She was twenty when her Uncle Dan died while on a mission. He had been patrolling the forest perimeter and wasn’t far from the village when the news came, and Tsunade had rushed to his side but was too late to save him. He died in her arms, his blood staining her hands. She had been campaigning for medics to be trained and put onto the four man teams ever since her brother Nawaki had been killed years before, and losing Dan was the final nail in the coffin. She made the decision to leave Konoha for an indefinite period, and Shizune made the decision to leave with her. The Sandaime granted her leave because Tsunade was really her only family left, and because he knew Tsunade was devastated and someone would need to look out for her. So not yet fully knowing what she was giving up, she fled with her mentor and never looked back

She glanced over at Tsunade, who looked just as moody and worried as she was sure she did. She had her own demons to face once they entered their old home. But at least Tsunade’s demons were in the past and not likely to stare at her with very angry faces…

When Tsunade had left Konoha there had been no ties to cut; Jiraiya was already gone, and the relationship between them and the Sandaime, their sensei, had been strained since their fourth teammate’s defection.

Shizune had a very different story. She had no family left in Konoha, but she’d had close friends, and a team she had been with through everything for her entire ninja career. She had left without saying goodbye, without a word of explanation. Worse still was that she hadn’t sent any word of her whereabouts in the entire eight years she’d been way. She knew they must have figured it out, with Tsunade leaving at the same time, but that wouldn’t make them any less hurt or angry. They didn’t know if she was even alive. She felt a wave of guilt and anxiety wash over her as she thought about the fact that she didn’t know if they were alive either. She had fled like a coward, burnt all her bridges, and now she had to re-cross them, and hope that there was still something on the other side.

She had no idea how she was going to do that. She supposed for once that she would just have to wait and see what happened. The sinking fear in her gut hardened to stone and her pulse quickened as the red gates of Konohagakure became visible in the distance.