Yay! It's Christmas time again! And this year I'm giving out awards to my whole cast! So, it's pretty long...

Holiday Special!

Awards! Yay!

"Hey, everybody! Heh, I guess it's only normal that I say what this is about..." Bitten cleared her throat, and sat down on the stage. "Well, since everybody's been so awesome this year, with Insanity, and the other random stories, I figured that it was cool to give everybody awards!" Keanu shuffled into his seat, and a little pink stuffed porcupine in his hand squeaked.

"Um, we sorta have an announcement..." Willow started, glancing around nervously.

"I'm going to have a girl!" Ryu cried out, tears forming in her eyes. Behrooz and Crevan gasped. Bitten coughed.

"Really?" she asked, her eyes widening.

"Yeah!" Ryu giggled, grabbing Keanu and squeezing him.

"Sweet! Then you can have the first award!" Bitten cleared her throat again, and produced a pink paper. "This," she said, holding up the paper, "is your award! The "Most Girly-yet Awesome" award! Yay!" Ryu walked up the stage and took the paper. Then she hugged Bitten, and walked back. Bitten was slightly weirded out, but she was okay. "Well-" she was interrupted by a series of "tsk" noises. Aidan and Mal were sitting next to each other, and whispering things.

Bitten gasped. "What?" Mal asked, assuming an "innocent" look.

"I also have a dreadful announcement..." Bitten said darkly, staring at Aidan.

"No, you wouldn't tell them THAT..." Aidan shook his head, but Bitten stared back into his soul. "Would you?" he cowered.

"BUAHAHAHA! THE PUNISHMENT FOR MAKING NOISES DURING MY SPEECH IS DOOM OF SECRECY!" Bitten sat back down. "Aidan...has a problem." Everyone gasped, save for Aidan himself. He merely swallowed in fear. "He...he isn't exactly...normal..." Aidan whimpered. "He...he isn't really...not very much..."

"Just spit it out!" Vijay burped, his impatience running low.

Bitten sighed. "Aidan isn't an It." The whole room went dead silent.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE AIN'T AN IT!?" Mizel screamed, curling into a ball. "HE'S ALWAYS BEEN NORMAL!"

"Right. Aidan is...special. He's...a half-It."

"He certainly is..." Mizel muttered. (he thought she said "half-wit")

"No, you idiot," Bitten snapped, smacking him. (she knew what he was thinking)

Aidan sniffled. "My 'dad', as you might call him, was an It...but not so much for my mom..."

"His mom was a midget," Mal finished, patting him on the back. A series of strange noises erupted around the room.

"Well, anyway, let's say happy things now." Bitten pulled out another award. "This one is for you, Aidan," she began, "and yours is 'The Trooper". You were pretty cool at keeping going, even when everybody else was...slacking." Bitten smiled, and Aidan made his way up.

"Thanks, man," he said, and she gave him a hug.

"No problem." Bitten pulled out another award. "Okey-day, this is for...Vijay! He's been pretty awesome. He flew to McDonalds a few times and got us lunch," she added, and Hamlet nodded.

"Yay!" Vijay leaped onto the stage and snatched the award out of Bitten's arm. "Thankee!" He suddenly kissed her on the cheek and bounded away. Bitten was aghast (I like that word) for a moment, then snapped out of it. She shook her head, rather weirded out, and pulled the tarp off of a gianourmous painting.

"This," she said, running her hand over the wood frame, "is a fine artwork by Willow." Everyone gasped. The picture depicted everyone that had helped in any way for the Insanity:

Bitten, Hamlet, and Boxy all stood at the base of a hill, saluting to the viewer, while Landroval and Alegirotuby chased Tayten around the sky. Tristan and Orrick leaned on each other, grinning towards the flying trio. Aidan and Mal laughed while sipping a strawberry lemon ice and eating breadsticks. Kyla and her mass of childrens were all giggling over a game of Scrabble, and Adea was removing her cat from the blender. Elrond and Behrooz were staring at a quarter, placing bets on which side it would land on. Each of the Its was busy doing something that they enjoyed or specialed at, though there were so many I could hardly tell them all to you.

The piece was amazing, to put it bluntly. Every person was perfectly etched on the white paper, their faces seamless, realistic, almost as if you could reach out an touch them. If you didn't stare hard at it for a long time, you wouldn't notice that it was drawn at all.

The lines of Crevan's face were smooth but jointed as she kicked down a remaining Stue, and an oven mitt guarded her from burning as she held a cookie sheet in her hand. Keanu and Ryu were arm in arm, singing some ballad to an old CD player, and their features seemed to stretch out above the others. Willow himself was in the picture, shrunk back, sitting cross-legged at the side of the hill, just watching the surroundings carefully as he often does on chilly mornings.

The sky was colored with such accuracy that it truly resembled the real thing, as the cloud floated carelessly by, their white puffs billowing out like popcorn. The sun was not in the picture, but you knew right where it was because the shading was so delicate and realistic that it truly felt alive. Needless to say, Willow is an amazing drawer.

"You did this?" Ryu asked, surprised. She turned to her small son.

"Yeah, mom. I did it," he answered, nodding. He looked back at his picture, and laid his ears back in shame.

"What's up?" Keanu said, glancing between Behrooz and Behrooz's picture. He was amazed. Holy cow, MY kid did this?

"N-nothing..." Willow stuttered, shuffling his feet. "I just forgot to draw Chey, too." He looked sadly at Orrick.

"It's okay, man. It's okay." Orrick patted his back. "You're amazing."

Bitten cleared her throat. "Anyway, as you are awesome, this award goes to you, Willow!" Bitten smiled and handed him the award. He laughed aloud as he read the inscription, 'Bestest Drawer/Poker Winner'.

"Thanks," he said, treasuring his new award.

"No problem, " Bitten said, winking. "Well, this award is for...Keanu! It is...'Longest Tongued'. You guys, if you thought Barthalemew-"

"The mutant giraffe and a half," said blue-tongued one continued.

"And his two pet storks!" finished Kiley.

"If you thought HIS tongue was long, you should see Keanu's!" Bitten beckoned Keanu up. "Dude, show them your tongue," she snickered, pulling out her fly zapper. Keanu saw it out of the corner of his eye, but stuck his tongue out anyway. It came out, strangely orangish, and kept coming...he kept stretching his tongue, like a lizard ready to snap a fly. By the time he started choking, his tongue was almost to Ryu's face.

"Ahh! Get it away!" she squeaked, and Bitten giggled, slapping the swatter on Keanu's tongue.

"AHAHA!" Bitten cackled, as Keanu's tongue singed. "Just kidding, here's some aloe." And she put aloe on Keanu's tongue. He walked off stage.

"I'll get you for that..." he spat.

"Well, our next person that I'm going to zap-" Bitten coughed at this point, "-I mean, give an award to...is...Mizel! Yeah!" She held out the award to him as he clambered onto the stage. "You win the 'Most Lively' award. You made sure we were all awake when we needed to beat that dagged Cupid, and that was helpful..." Mizel took the award happily, and grinned. "Well, Tiny Gnat, you have been pretty awesome." She patted his head.

"Thankies," he replied, and leaped off the stage with a galorious thump.

"Yepies," Bitten answered, and turned to Tayten. "Your turn!" she giggled, and added, "Yours is 'Most Happy'! You always made us laugh when we were about to die. Thank you for that!" Bitten laughed, and Tayten giddily took the award, not really sure of the compliments she'd just been given. "Well, I'd like to give this award to a little friend of ours, Kyla!" Kyla, the three-year-old assasin, bounded onto the stage with her little tassled spear.

"Yay! Do I get some fruit snacks?" she asked, her face beaming.

"As a matter of fact, you do!" Bitten extended to her the award and a large package of Gerber® fruit snacks.

"Yay!" Kyla giggled and hopped away. Bitten was a little dumbfounded for a moment, then retrieved a large box. Crevan drooled at the sight.

"This," said Bitten, "is a present for many of you." She sliced it open, and drew out...a soda pop machine! "I got it for everybody! Only fifty cents per can! Yeah! And," she added, offering the box to Crevan, "this is yours." Crevan grinned, and gladly took the box. "Keanu and Behrooz have offered to set it up in the main room, so we can get it whenever." She hopped a squat on the ground again. "Now, though, I want something special! Vijay and Sparky are a gonna do a dance!"

Sparky leaped onto the stage with a galorious thump, and Vijay scrambled along behind him. The grande music started...yeah, you know what..."Dancin' in the moonlight! Alright!"

[line

When they finished, Bitten handed out awards to Sparky, the Dragons, and Alegirotuby. But then Behrooz spoke up. "Hey, Bitten?" he asked.

"Yeah, Behrooz?"

"Where are Al and Spice?" Behrooz looked around, trying to spot his small friend.

"Spice has been banished," Milandu answered darkly. "He went nuts. No pun intended." Bitten nodded.

"He went on a rage and got out of his cage again, but this time he saw Al and tried to attack her...well, I caught him and tried to pull him away, but he bit me, the little devil, so I banished him. Right out the door." Bitten shook her head. "Such a little scum, he was..."

"He told me he ran away thrice...was he right?" Bitten nodded again.

"And got out countless other times. Well, if he ever comes back, he'd better have his tail between his legs and he'd better apologize!" she growled. She huffed a little. "Al is still mortified. She doesn't even come out from behind her food-house anymore..."

"Now now, dear Bitten, there beeth the kind that laugh and cause frivolous and jubilant feelings, and some that cause unhappiness and despair. Spice cannot be entirely blamed for his foul deeds," Hamlet said, patting Bitten on the back.

"Yeah, I s'pose." Bitten sighed, and shook herself. "Anyway, on a slightly happier note, we, meaning the entire Insanity cast, won the Golden Globe Award for best picture! Yeah!" And then came a happy applause.

"Hooray!" came the cheer, and almost everyone stood up. Boxy has a bit of an issue with standing up, you see...

"And the next award is for...Galadriel and her elves! Though she never really came on screen, she helped us a TON with the lights and she helped Landroval to develop his voice. It was pretty helpful, seeing as Landroval couldn't sing to save his life before..." Bitten cleared her throat. "Here you are, Galadriel," she said, handing said glowing elf an award. It read 'Lightest Light-Bearer".

"What is that supposed to mean?" Galadriel asked brusquely.

"Well, you were the lightest person working in the lights..." Bitten mumbled, shuffling her feet. Galadriel laughed.

"Okay! Thank you!" and she swept away in a mirror of light. Whatever that means.

"Okey-dokey, now is for Mizel!" Bitten grinned as the small pest leaped onto the stage. "You get 'Possibly Least Obnoxious'. And in this award, I may possibly be lying, or possibly I'm telling the truth. You never really know, possibly." Bitten was having too much fun with her words. Anyway, she handed (more like tossed) Mizel the award, though he didn't understand its full meaning.

"Yay!" he giggled, and then he ran away.

"And now...for Mal!" Bitten held out 'Most Enlightened'...? Mal came up and was all excited.

"Thanks!" and she hugged Bitten, and took the award, and darted back to her corner next to Aidan.

"Okay, so...now, I'm going to invite Kaden and Kiley up, and they'll do their tap dancing, and then I'll give them their awards." Kaden and Kiley rushed to the stage, and quickly pulled on their shiny shoes. Kiley clicked to one side of the stage; Kaden tapped to the other.

Kiley started them off with six taps, and Kaden followed with eight faster ones, and Kiley ran in two swift taps to a few feet away from Kaden. The 'song' went on for a lot more taps, until finally, Kiley and Kaden took arms and tapped thirty in-sync uber-fast taps and then bowed. "Thank you!" And Bitten handed Kiley 'Best Orange Picker' and Kaden 'Best Consoler for Kiley'.

Kaden gladly took the awards and grinned. Kiley meanwhile giggled at a crack in the stage floor. Bitten shooed them off, and said, "Well, Zbigniew is next," and she held out 'Best Singer'. "I'd almost say you were the best fighter, especially after you threw that chair at a Stue, but I'd have to say that Kyla and her crew were the bravest, going into the heat of the battle with only a few spears! How courageous! So, both of you guys come up."

Znigniew and Kyla made their way up, and both took their respective awards, and then Kyla went down, and Bitten asked Crevan to come up.

"Crevan has been an amazing person. First off, she helped design some of the outfits, she helped a bit with the lighting, and she made mac and cheese for us for a week and a half. She gave Aidan a bagel when he had the flu, she shared her doughnut with Mizel when he was getting teased, she hand-fed Boxy when Hamlet had to leave to pick up costumes, and she also went to the copy store to get copies when our bloody copy machine swallowed the paper. She also beat up a bunch of Stues and Stues, she sang with Zbigniew in a duet, and to top it all off, she helped Ryu when she was pregnant with Willow!"

There was a moment of silence, and then the group cheered excitedly. Crevan blushed, but accepted the award, 'Probably Most Amazing'. Bitten then hugged her. Then Bitten sat down, and the floodlights stared down on Crevan and Zbigniew.

"Hey, everybody, we're going to sing that song we sung in the singing part of the Parvani," Zbigniew said. He cleared his throat. "I can see what's happening," he began.

...a few minutes later...

"Can you feel the love tonight?" Zbigniew's and Crevan's throats stung from singing, but they were almost finished. Their harmonizing hadn't missed a note, and it sounded clear and rung in the ears of their audience. "Can you feel the love tonight!?" they both sounded out as the song changed keys.

"...in short, our pal, is doomed!" As the song drew to a close, Crevan and Zbigniew bowed their heads, and the lights dimmed.

The applause started as they both bowed, and hobbled off the stage.

"Thanks, you guys! That was wondermous!" Bitten said, adding to the applause. "Well, next we'd like to thank Adea, who let us hang at her house, eat her pizza, and breath her balloons. She also let the kiddies play tea with her rhinoceros. In short, she's pretty awesome." Adea tipped her head as Bitten handed her the award.

"'Best Cat Lover'?" she asked, staring at the strange award. The plaque was decorated with a small picture of a cat struggling to be free of a gianourmous cackling blender. "Um...thanks..."

"And we got you a free packet of hot cider!" Bitten grinned and placed the package in Adea's hand. "And I hope you'll be back for MORE!" Adea hopped off the stage, and everybody cheered for her. "Well, now I'd like to invite the Paradise Bird."

The large, gleaming, nearly rainbow-colored bird gracefully leapt down from its nest high above the curtain and swooped down next to Bitten. It bowed, then stared her in the eye.

"Thank you for flying up Will's nose at just the right moment. God sure used you! Thanks. You are an answer to prayer. Thanks, man." The bird nodded. Bitten handed him a package of gummy worms. "Well, since we know you don't have the wall space for a plaque, we got you these: sour gummy worms." The bird gratefully bowed, then clutched the bag in its beak and flew back to its nest. There was another applause. "Well, now we're going to thank Aragorn, Elrond, the hobbits, the dwarves, and all them peasants! You guys were awesome set-makers! I don't know how we would have done it without you. Anyway, here's your prize: a fifteen inch plasma TV! YEAH! Just in case you get bored down in Moria."

Elrond, Aragorn, the hobbits, and the dwarves all came onto the stage, and Bitten held out a huge plaque the size of an elephant. (the TV was currently being watched by the peasants) 'Best Sets' was labeled on the large award. "Thank you everyone, we truly enjoyed it," Aragorn stated, and he bowed courteously.

"Incorrect grammar..." Elrond grumbled, but he was quickly pushed aside.

"Thank you, everyone! We had a blast!" Sam suddenly said, leaping in front.

"Literally..." Kiley whispered to Kaden.

"Thanks, guys." Bitten then booted everyone off the stage. "I hope y'all enjoy your TV." She cleared her throat. "Well, next up...is Tristan!" There were several cheers as Tristan came up.

"Thank you, Bitten," he said, taking the award. "'Calmest Dude'?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah. You were pretty much the calmest one of our entire group." Bitten nodded, then squeezed him into a hug. He pretty much choked, but then she let go. "See you later, man." He nodded, and then went back down. "Okay, next we have Orrick!" Said It came up.

"What did I do?" he asked, taking the award Bitten handed out.

"Well, see for yourself!"

"I win...'Best Cupid-Slayer'?" he cringed at the terrible drawing of himself slaying Cupid.

"Yeah. Pretty much everybody else chickened out, but you were brave and slayed him, even when you got reminded of your girlfriend. I MEAN!" She slapped a hand over her mouth. "Sorry." He nodded, and she slapped him on the back. "Good show, man."

"Thanks." And he headed off stage.

"Well, then we thank all of the other Its, who mostly are on vacation, except Mika. So, your reward is an all-around trip to Fazoli's! All of the Its-" Aidan cringed, and Bitten stopped herself. "-and the half-Its get a trip to Fazoli's! Happy It-Day!"

"Yay!" came the cheer, and Mika came up and took the gianourmous gift card that Bitten now handed to her. "Thankees," said Mika, and she grinned, bowed, and departed.

"Well, I'll say thank you to the bags, but they all had to leave for a Ziploc convention." Bitten nodded solemnly, then set aside a large plastic plaque with the words 'Best Squirrel Impressionists' written on it. "We'll have a moment of silence as well for Landroval, who is now...in a place far away. But, in honor of his great deeds, Hamlet, Boxy, Behrooz, Keanu, and I have prepared a song that he once sung..." Bitten stepped back, and Hamlet carried Boxy up the steps to the stage.

"Thank you, everyone. Behrooz will be playing piano, I will be on the drums, Boxy will be playing the trumpet, and Bitten and Hamlet will surprise you!" Keanu said, setting up the microphones. Cheers arose as Boxy pulled out his trumpet. "Let's a go, old friend," he whispered to Behrooz, and he tapped out the beat with his drumsticks.

Behrooz began, and soon Boxy came in, adding a melody that reached the ceiling in its strong, clear sound.

Bitten appeared, holding her flute. She started in a second, and combined her high notes with the trio.

Hamlet came forward a moment later, holding her cello. She sat down and began playing with the others, not missing a note.

Tears came to Tayten's eyes as she heard the sweet melody that Landroval had sung for her more than a month ago. She clenched her fists, and remembered her last sight of him as he headed towards the high mountains far away, still singing the clear song until it carried past the leagues between him and his home.

Many sobs arose, remembering the past experiences they'd had with Landroval, though very few they were. Tristan remembered Landroval telling him about the huge number of Sues they were to face, though Landroval never seemed fearful, nor nervous, nor bothered, even in the face of the battle. He choked back a tear, remembering how kind Landroval had been, offering his toast when Tristan's became burnt.

The song slowed to a close, and even Hamlet herself, who had not known Landroval nearly as much as the others, was blinking back tears. Bitten bit her lip to stop the sobs, and Behrooz bowed his head. The stage was quickly cleared, and Bitten disappeared behind the stage. Hamlet took instead came forward, holding the awards.

"I am deeply sorry, to all of thee, that Bitten hast had many a painful memory and must retreat behind the standing floor to take upon her wetted nose a dry tissue," she began, and almost everyone lost it straight away.

"She means I remembered something sad about Landroval and had to get a Kleenex," Bitten called from back stage.

"Yes, that ist what I saith...but out of such matters, we have a guest for you! Milandu beeth her name!" Hamlet stepped aside as Milandu came forward.

"Most of you are probably confused about me," Milandu said, "but I will explain. You see, Bitten and I were sort of the same person, but she is nice to her friends yet nasty to strangers," and Bitten suddenly ran back and interrupted.

"And you are polite to strangers and yet you're a beast to your 'friends'," Bitten finished.

Milandu rolled her eyes. "But Bitten kept wanting to escape from her so called 'prison', so we separated, and now you see us separately. It was not exactly our choice to be combined in the first place..." She shook her head.

"Yeah, we were messing with some weird green beetle thing, and suddenly it was like, 'You're combined now,' and all of a sudden I was trying to run from Milandu's horrendous cloak of doom." Hamlet nodded. "But anyway, on to the award!"

"Your glorious shining piece of paper saith 'Best Gerbil-Carekeeper'." Hamlet handed Milandu said plaque, and Milandu smiled.

"Oh, this is because I caught Spice when he was running around, and when I fed Al the monterrey jack and she suddenly loved me, right?" Milandu asked.

"Yeah, pretty much. That was bad when Spice got out, especially since Adea had just come over and she had brought her cat..." The three went suddenly silent. "Yeah."

"Well, thank you." Milandu tipped her head, and took the award and started off.

"Now we would liketh to bring to you my husband and his dear friend whom you may have brushed your teeth with!" Hamlet laughed, and no one knew what she said, except Bitten and Boxy. Boxy came up, bringing with him the Toothpaste. "You, dear sir, have 'Cleanest Teeth'." She handed the Toothpaste the said award, and he hopped away.

"To Boxy, who helped fight many a Sue, and who could stay up all night on a watch, has 'Best Night Watcher/Egg Layer'. You also laid the egg of Paradise, that was pretty helpful in destroying Will." Boxy received the pretty award, and quickly stapled it inside of himself that he might always remember what he had been given. He's pretty sentimental like that. He then flew back to the Toothpaste. "Now, Behrooz," Bitten said, and Behrooz made his way up.

"Thank you," he said, taking the award. 'Best Leader' was written on the front, next to a picture of himself standing in front of a big pulpit. "Um...?"

"You were a good leader when no one else was there to lead, and you helped make our camp a success!" Bitten then smiled, and hugged him. He was drawn aback, and he sort of hugged her back awkwardly. She winked at him as he nodded and went back to his seat.

Bitten turned to Hamlet. "There beeth one last award," Hamlet stated.

"Yep. Hamlet, you were awesome. You encouraged me when I thought I would die, you helped Boxy stay joyous in times of sadness, you helped cook, and you killed like, a thousand Sues! You're awesome." Bitten's eyes grew shiny and full of tears, and she set the award down. "Thanks, bestest buddy," she whispered, hugging Hamlet so tight it would have hurt pretty much anyone else.

"Thank you, Bitten. I love you too." Hamlet squeezed her back, and then they let go.

"Well, for your award! 'Most Peculiar-Yet Awesome!' belongs to you!" Hamlet gladly took the award. "And also...we did this!" Bitten drew back a tarp, and it revealed a beautiful accordion.

Hamlet gasped. "You...you polished...you polished my dear accordion..." Hamlet carefully slid her hand over the keys. "In gratefulness of this gift, I will play you a song!" And she played a striking song, all while singing "I'm dead!" When she was done, Hamlet set the accordion down, and retrieved a small sack. "Thank you, Bitten, as well. You have done much for us. This...this little one has come back." She opened the sack, and out popped, with its small, furry head, delicate, black eyes, and furless, pink nose, came a gerbil. He slowly crawled onto Bitten's hand.

"Spice, you came back. I love you so much," Bitten rubbed her nose against Spice's furless nose, then hugged him lightly.

"Well, on that happy note, that's all of the awards! Hope you enjoyed it all! And there's pizza and soda back behind the stage, so let's all have a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!" Crevan exclaimed, and there was one, long, loud applause. Then everyone went to go get food.

...Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year!

-Bitten

P.S. Sorry, this wasn't on the full moon, but just pretend I got it out on Christmas Eve!