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Author of 45 Stories |
Forbidden
Co-Written by Cariel and Jody
Oh, it was sweet,
It was wild
And oh, how we...
I trembled,
Stuck in honey.
Honey
Cling to me...
So, just one more.
Just one more go.
Inspire in me the desire in me
To never go home.
–The Cure
The past missions had been wearing on the young Jedi and as much as he wanted to believe he had his darker urges, set under control he knew deep down this wasn’t entirely the case. In reality, his increasing need to touch the dark side was beginning to frighten him far more then he wanted to admit. However while he trusted Obi-Wan the young Jedi also knew that he wouldn’t understand. Not to mention, given his former Master’s strict adherence to the rules Anakin knew it was best he refrained.
As for Padmé, the young Jedi knew that if she were to learn of his actions, of his struggles and the ever growing hunger for the dark side it was certain she would turn her back on him once and for all. The thought of losing her was far more frightening than anything he had ever known and so Anakin too kept his struggles to himself.
But with no one left to turn to and no one to reassure him of his actions and of his decisions Anakin’s need to walk the facade was rapidly becoming a heavy burden. However, it wasn’t his struggles that brought Anakin here, rather it was the promise of finding solace from them. He believed that only by basking in the presence of one greater than himself would he truly know peace. Padmé, after all, was not one who could never be touched by the darkness; she was too strong for such a weakness. It was because of this that he needed her now more than ever before and yet could not truly ever have her. He was unclean now and unworthy of the angel he sought to embrace, yet it didn’t stop him from racing through the hallways of the senatorial buildings in search of the one angel who could forgive him without ever knowing his sins.
Racing through the halls his thoughts were entirely on being reunited with his beloved and the thought of basking in her presence once more. It had been far too long and as he approached the doors to Padmé’s quarters, he impatiently palmed the code and practically burst inside as the doors slid open. It was then he noticed the lights of her quarters were on, marking she had indeed returned home early as he had secretly hoped. Practically beaming at the realisation, Anakin rushed down the hall that would lead to her dressing rooms for he imagined she hadn’t had a chance to get out of her senatorial garbs yet. Yet as he passed the rooms that littered the hallways, he didn’t take into consideration the secret passageways that joined the senator’s quarters to the handmaiden’s wing. Nor did he ever consider the reason for it and the fact that it was from these hidden doors that the decoy and her mistress would often prepare for the greatest and most important performances of their lives. It would become something he would never forget ever again. As he rounded the corner, his eyes immediately settled onto the form of the senator who was emerging from the secret passages. If it seemed odd that she was without her entourage of handmaidens or the fact there was an air of mischief to her aura it went unnoticed as Anakin only saw what he wanted to see. And what he saw was none other than his beautiful angel, the very woman he had spent every night dreaming of and longing to hold.
‘Padmé!’ he exclaimed in utter joy as he rushed forward towards the petite form before pulling her into a tight embrace that was followed by a passionate kiss in greeting.
Lost in thought, Dormé didn’t hear any doors opening, nor did she hear the young man calling for her mistress. She had thought she was utterly alone until he came barrelling over to her, enveloping her in a tight hug before kissing her. In her shock, Dormé was unable to protest. She registered his familiar scent—desert spices—and his Jedi garb—the lightsaber hanging off his utility belt like a warning...it was Anakin Skywalker, her mistress’s husband. She knew she ought to push him away, tell him he was mistaken, that she was not Padmé, but this kiss... In her time, though only a few years younger than Anakin, had already kissed many other people, but this kiss was the most passionate she had ever experienced in her life. No one ever kissed her like this. It was as though she was an ember sparked to life by his flame. At this moment, something within her compelled her to respond to his kiss, as if to ignore it would be to ignore her very soul. Her fingers brushed along the back of his neck and through his hair as she pressed herself against his warm body, returning this all-consuming fire with her own.
At first Anakin could feel her shock and immediately realised his mistake. Padmé was easily frightened by his powerful rush of emotions and he knew if he wasn’t careful to curb them she would draw back and grow distant. She wanted to enjoy his love, not be consumed by it was her almost exact words and it was with this in mind that Anakin was about to contain himself. But something was different about Padmé today for instead of drawing back or ending the kiss she was pressing herself closer to him. Her fingers—stronger than he had ever noticed before—now were intertwined in his tussled hair as she returned his kiss with such passion he had never known in his life. It was as though she was consuming his soul while filling it in ways he never believed possible. Though it was his turn to be shocked, Anakin promptly recovered. Hungrily, he kissed her lips feeling as though he were drinking from the finest apsinthos where one sip was never enough.
Something within his spirit seemed to surge with life at her embrace and for a brief moment in time Anakin was left feeling as though he was truly complete. Lost in the most passionate kiss the Jedi Knight moaned loudly in reply while his right hand eagerly pulled at the pins that held up her hair. Letting them fall to the floor as his fingers slipped through the silky locks that tumbled down her shoulders and back. His left hand too slipped from her back to her left shoulder where with much impatience he began to undo the many clasps kept her gown together and him apart from her flesh. Never in all of his years of knowing Padmé had he ever experienced her behaving in such a passionate manner. While it was quite a surprise Anakin wasn’t about to question it either. As for the first time in his life he was finally able to reveal his true feelings for her and he wasn’t bout to ruin it by dwelling on the reasons for her change of heart. To him all that matter was that Padmé utterly and completely returned his feelings and for that he couldn’t have been more happy. All conscious and sane thought was gone as he freed her long, dark hair, the coils tumbling past her shoulders as the pins fell heedlessly to the carpet.
Dormé barely realised they were moving together towards the couch as his hands now explored the clasps of her ornate senatorial gown and hers slid to his chest and waist in an effort to remove his Jedi tunic. This felt so right to Dormé as though this kiss held the key to everything she desired, such things she had been searching for, but had not found until now. It was just out of reach and she felt if she could just get closer to him, she would find it.
Her kiss awakened in him all the passion he had struggled so desperately to bury in the hopes of keeping her. He believed that if he kept it in, that if he learnt how to restrain himself he’d be able to keep her by his side that much longer.
Deep down, Anakin knew that Padmé was not his to have, for angels could never be truly satisfied by a mortal such as him. Despite his deepest desire to pretend otherwise he also knew that one day she would leave him. It was because of this he clung so desperately -obsessively even- onto the Senator. His deepest fear was the day when he would return to Coruscant and find nothing in her quarters but a note of an apology, or worse the datapad that would mark the end of their hidden marriage.
Now, for the first time in his life, Anakin felt a rush of hope for what was their dying relationship. With her kiss came a new life a new sense of completion he had never known and like a drowning man clinging to a life preserve in the storm he clung onto her almost desperately. With eager fingers he fumbled -almost nervously as he feared this was but a dream- with the clasps of her gown while guiding them to the couch.
Her own fingers danced along his chest seeking to rid him of his tunics and this too excited him beyond measure as Padmé had never been this eager to be in his arms before. Whatever had caused this change of heart he’d never know, but then he was also far too happy to care either. This was how he had always imagined their relationship would be like and while reality was a stark contrast by comparison, his dream was now finally becoming real.
Finding it would be easier to be rid of his belt first, she unhooked it, dropping it casually to the floor before fumbling to expose his chest, which she soon covered in kisses. Never before had she been so eager to feel her naked flesh against another’s before. How passionately she desired to be with him, needed to be with him would later frighten her with the truth—that this was meant to be, that it was more than just physical attraction—but for now, her sole concern was ridding each of them of the last barriers that kept them apart. Dormé was in no condition to think rationally, to consider the implications of this rendezvous or the betrayal she was committing. Even if she did know, Dormé was far too busy consuming and being consumed by Anakin, equally giving as she was taking, to care.
Anakin’s fingers were clumsily but successfully finding a way to undo the clasps that kept his angel’s body from his own. Never in his life had he ever known such sweet bliss as he did now leaving Anakin feeling as though it wasn’t just their bodies touching but their souls as well. It would only be years later when he would be able to look back on this moment and realise just how accurate this notion was. For now, coherency was a lost thought to Anakin who was more than happy to consume the woman he believed to be his wife.
Before things could go any further, the commlink was chiming loudly from the other side of the room causing Anakin to reluctantly be distracted from the passionate kisses shared. It wasn’t that he cared about the message that waited to be answered or that it could be important. Rather, it was the fact that he knew Padmé would and was used to withdrawing from her embrace when such interruptions brought their rare moments together to an abrupt end.
Dormé was hardly ware of the chirping commlink but when Anakin stopped kissing her, she began to return to her senses. Harshly brought back from the harmony she was experiencing, hitting her like a wave of icy lake water. Upon realising what she had done, what she had almost done, with the Jedi married to her mistress, she flushed red and began dressing swiftly. She knew she had to leave, but felt a pang of sorrow at the fact. Who knew how far this would have gone if not for that comm? Once Dormé’s legs seemed to work again, tears came to her eyes and she fled before he had a chance to see it.
Anakin as much as he wanted to continue this moment of bliss knew better than to push the issue and automatically drew back giving room for the senator to answer the call. His wife’s embarrassed reaction wasn’t unusual and Anakin felt awkward as well as frustrated at the intruption that always seemed to occur when they were together. However he also sensed sorrow through her Force signature and couldn’t help but wonder what he had done wrong. But before he had a chance to inquire Padmé was already gone leaving behind a thoroughly confused but hopeful Jedi Knight. Nevertheless, almost as soon as he had placed on his tunic and belt his own commlink was chiming, marking the fact his presence was needed at the temple. Uttering a Huttese curse he gave a sigh of frustration and decided it was best he leave before Padmé returned. He had a sinking feeling that when she did she wouldn’t be as eager to continue where they left off as he was.
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