The Big Chill

Aliaslaceygreen

Not all characters are mine, not making any money.

Encore

The Tracks of My Tears, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

People say I'm the life of the party cause

I tell a joke or two

Although I might be laughin' loud and hearty

Deep inside I'm blue

So take a good look at my face

You see my smile looks out of place

As you get closer it's easy to trace

The tracks of my tears

Since you left me, if you see me with another girl

Seeming like I'm having fun

Although she may be cute

She's just a substitute

Cause you're the perfect one

So take a good look at my face

You see my smile looks out of place

As you get closer it's easy to trace

The tracks of my tears

Cupid, draw back your bow

And let your arrow go

Straight to my lover's heart

For me

Nobody but me

Cupid, please hear my cry

And let your arrow fly

Straight to my lover's heart

For me

Deep in my subconscious, I recognized click of the doorknob and immediately weighed the danger. Reluctantly my eye cracked open. The beam of light was narrow; all indicators were the intruder was small. I closed my eyes again and ignored it.

“Daddy. Daddy.”

I tried to ignore it. It never worked, but I was not a quitter, so I tried.

“Daddy.”

The voice was struggling and plaintive. I opened one eye, and had to swallow my laughter. Stella stood next to the bed, my crutch in one hand, her chubby fingers reaching out to stroke my face.

“Wha…?”

Her voice perked up when she realized she finally had my attention.

“Sophie’s hungy,” she proclaimed brightly, and presented my crutch to me.

“She is?”

“Uh huh.”

“Stella, if Sophie is hungry, why don’t I hear her crying? Why are you in here at” --I glanced up to see a time that was going to be painful – “at 4:50 AM to tell me?”

“Julie has her.”

“Ok, good. Go back to bed, Stella Helene Manoso”. I tried to put a good ‘daddy’ spin into the tone, but knew I’d missed.

“Daddy, she’s hungy.”

Julie knows what to do.”

“I miss Mommy.”

I groaned as I rolled over to look at my middle daughter. “I do too. She will be home tomorrow, ok? And she’ll bring your baby brother home with her.”

“Henry’s cute, Daddy.”

“Yes, he is. Just as cute as you were when you were born. Come here. Put down my crutch, get into bed and go back to sleep.”

Her soft little body curled against me and her thumb slipped into her mouth. I looked down at her with wonder and stroked back her wispy curls.

My little Stella had been followed by Sophie Marina 20 months later. I could hardly believe that yesterday morning we welcomed a son, Henry Ricardo Manoso. Three kids under the age of four. And Julie was about to become a teenager.

What were we thinking? We were outnumbered two to one!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Lula, just put Henry down for a minute will you? You are going to spoil him,” I said, but I loved to watch him in his Aunt Lula’s arms. His little bobble head of jet-black fuzz, the sparkle of mischief in his eyes, oh; I just wanted to eat him up. My baby. I grabbed a blanket and tucked it around Lula’s shoulders. Despite the temperature, it was late October and we were going to be outside for a long time. I snatched a raspberry bubble kiss from him for my efforts.

“But I can’t. This little man is too delicious. I miss this age,” she said wistfully, but loud enough for Tank to hear her.

“Get the idea out of your head, woman. Tallulah is an only child!” Tank turned back and glared at his wife playfully and I had to smile. Those two were an inspired pairing! I couldn’t believe it had taken me so long after meeting Tank to realize he was the one for my old factory friend Lula. Their little girl, Tallulah, was three going on forty, and had a certain Jeremiah Johnston wrapped around her pinky finger. At the moment almost literally; her tiny hand was grasping one of his meaty fingers as she rolled along on her skate shoes.

Carlos had his hands too full of children himself to be very credible when he turned and shrugged at Lula with his almost grin. Stella was on his shoulders, taking a skating break, and he was pushing Sophie in the double stroller with one hand as he held onto Stella’s leg. Sophie was out for the count—the child most like me, she could and would sleep anywhere, under any condition.

Julie was, as usual, ahead of us. She couldn’t bear to be seen with all these children and parents hovering around her. Somehow, I had ended up with no children, but was serving as pack mule for the entire group. I had diaper bags, bottles, and dollies hanging off me from every angle. Plus a rolling bag of running legs and all of the guys badges and timing chips which we were going to need to get onto them. The race would be starting soon.

Connie seemed totally out of place. As always, she was immaculately turned out, despite the early hour and the event, which was going to be long and boring before a fit of crazy-assed cheering. However, she had been determined to come as soon as she found out Lester would be there. I shook my head sadly. That pairing hadn’t gone nearly as smoothly as Lula and Tank.

“How come I never knew about this before, Steph? There are like, my gawd, a thousand hunks here, and they are all on display!” Her head swiveled from one to the next. “There has to be one who is single, right? Look at him,” she pointed her perfectly manicured index finger at one such hunk. Like many others, the object of her attention had found a shady patch of grass, where he stopped to stretch, retie sneakers, remove clothing layers, and otherwise prepare for the coming run.

Xxxxx

I stretched and moved, trying to keep limber. It was gonna be a fucking hard race. It was too hot for a marathon, there was no question we were all gonna be paying later. Too damned summer-like to be running 26 miles. There were gonna be bodies littered along the entire route before it was over, I knew that just by looking around. Too many people were getting in over their heads this year! I met up with Silvio, Hector, Captain, and Bobby where we’d agreed to meet.

“Boys,” I nodded my head in greeting. “Santos,” they chimed, and in formation, we jogged toward a bench near one of the footbridges. I was aware, as always, that we attracted attention from the ladies the minute we gathered together. Just what I needed, some flirting and bantering to distract me. I started some stretching exercises and Bobby stripped off his shirt and joined in. Captain modified the routine to accommodate and lined up next to Hector, and we got things going.

“Gonna whip those old men’s ass’s today, gonna wipe the floor with their times,” I boasted with a grin, getting the guys motivated. “They are slipping, I tell yah. Sucked in by domestic bliss and rugrats all that shit. Getting flabby, they’re not gonna have a chance against us.”

I looked at Bobby as he laughed. Like me, he was a confirmed bachelor, happy to take a chance on all the female delicacies the world had to offer.

“I guess I probably shouldn’t tell you that I asked Marissa to marry me then, huh?” Captain looked a little uncertain as he spoke.

“What?”

“Did what, Cap? Shit man, you too young to do that kinda mess. What you thinking?”

“What’s a beach bum like you gonna do with a girl like Marissa?”

“Fuck you, Silvio. You too, Brown.”

“That damned Miami sunshine’s gone and pickled your brain, man. Ranger’s gonna have to pull you back to the Trenton office for good. That’ll get your head on straight.”

Julie spotted us—no, she spotted Captain—and flashed him a brilliant smile. She veered our way, the rest of the RangeMan team and their families trailing behind her. Oh fuck, what’s Connie doing here? Just what I need. But, damn, she looks good!

“Hey, man, really congrats, if that’s what ya want,” I said distractedly, as I pulled off my shirt. I flexed my pecs a bit unnecessarily at the blond who was passing with a crowd of runners on the pavement in front of us. Yes, indeed. I wouldn’t mind ruining my time to follow an ass like that, I thought to myself. I could see Connie out of the corner of my eye, watching my performance, so I strutted a bit more than was necessary. “Fuck it’s gonna be hot.”

I looked at Ranger’s oldest kid, a cutie with a major crush on Captain. “But, hey, guy, someone’s gonna need to break it to Miss Julie,” I said as I swatted him with the shirt before tossing it on the ground.

He had a sick look on his face when I said that. “Part of the territory buddy, being wanted---you gonna have to let her down easy. She’s the boss’s kid.”

“She’s twelve.”

“She’s been in love with you since she met you, friend. You know it.”

“Don’t they grow out of stuff like this?”

“Got me. But she’s still making goo-goo eyes over you and you know it.”

By that time, my eyes had already wandered off to another lovely specimen of womanhood jogging past us. Badge number 45R64. May have to look her up later, uh huh, I thought, watching her boobs bouncing so nice and high in her sports bra. God bless the man who invented silicone. Her tiny purple shorts cupped her ass cheeks. Umm hmm.

I wish Connie’s laser glare would focus on something other than me. Fuck. Why’d they have to ruin everything and bring her? This being dumped shit was for the birds.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tank and Carlos had handed off the kids and moved ahead to meet up with the rest of the RangeMan. He had shifts of contract workers in today so his entire A-Team could run together, as he had done for the past 4 years. I shook my head in wonder, recalling that first year. Carlos was in so much pain. He had had no business attempting a marathon, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Of course his guys wouldn’t let him enter alone, or finish alone. They were among the last 100 finishers the first year. Before the next marathon, he had recruited Jamie Kerran after he finished his stint in the Army. Now that was a tough guy. He finished out his time in Iraq with two artificial legs. It was easy to understand why Carlos had wanted him to be a part of RangeMan.

I watched as we approached them; they really were a team. Each one was a serious specimen of man. Chippendales meet steroids. That fact had been duly noted by all the women and many men as they passed; heads spun, joggers slowed and eyebrows raised in appreciation. I got to watch and laugh because one of them was mine! Looking at them today made me proud to know all of them. Well, almost all of them. Lester was on my shit list, but that wasn’t a new situation.

Lester and Bobby had started a little show, stripping off their sweat pants and tee’s down to only black running shorts. They were gonna be aggravated that I was making them cover up with black muscle tee’s, but they had to pin their badges somewhere! They had a nice little routine going, too. I rolled up to the park bench and got Captain’s attention. I had running prosthetics for him and Carlos to change into. The guys gave Captain a hard time because these legs gave him an advantage when running. However, they were designed for the task, and didn’t beat up their bodies so badly. We had an assortment of legs at home. It didn’t even phase me anymore; I joked that while I had a shoe fetish, Carlos had a foot fetish.

I pulled the runners out of the golf bag, and gave his pair to Captain, who had plopped onto the bench and stripped off his pants and regular legs. A couple of young kids stopped to stare as well, so now we had a multigenerational crowd watching us. All the grown women overtly admiring the ‘Lester Hector Bobby’ show; the kids fascinated by Captain and me taking his other legs and sticking them into the golf cart, sneaker side up.

I couldn’t help but notice that some women still wouldn’t stop making obvious attempts at getting any of the guys attention, Carlos’s in particular. Too tempting I guess, even with a crapload of kids around. Wipe the drool honey, I wanted to say to a few, he’s mine.

Carlos was preoccupied with Julie, who had stomped off in one of her patented 12-year old snits. I couldn’t see her face but his was getting frustrated. I waved his runner at him; he nodded and stripped off his sweat pants while continuing to speak with Julie. My mouth watered at the sight of his rippling muscles under his tee as he bent over. God, I could look at him all day! It never got old. Ever. He sat on the edge of the park bench and started to unbuckle his leg; I figured I better get over there but I didn’t want to interrupt.

Suddenly it wasn’t a problem because she walked away. I leaned into him and let him squeeze me close. “Babe.” The sound of his voice rumbled through me, and I felt his aggravation slide from him as we embraced. I bent down to kiss him, traded legs, and asked, “What’s her problem now?”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All six guys were badged, timer-tagged, dressed and watered. After kisses and well wishes, we admired their collectively fine asses as they jogged as a group to the starting line. I was ready for a nap. Not even 8 am and the drama in my world! Yikes. It would be at almost three hours before we needed to start heading for the finish line to see the guys cross, and we had four children, one embarrassed almost-teen and one pissed off Connie to contend with between now and then.

Connie was strongly regretting having given Lester the slip a few weeks back. Shit, she’d done it as a defensive measure; she’d heard too much about him and his love ‘em and leave ‘em reputation. I thought he felt differently about her, but she wasn’t about to be dumped. I believed they belonged together; that it might take more time than normal to get it through their thick skulls, but that eventually it would all work out. This morning, I had seen Lester watching Connie as much as I saw her trying to not look at him. Lula was definitely up to the task of fixing this problem. I took over the Julie issue.

It was going to be an awkward conversation to start. This parenting thing was difficult. It turned out I was not bad with bumps, bruises, and other things that could be fixed with the offer of a Popsicle. But the teen thing? The puppy love thing? Carlos and I both knew that Julie had a major league crush on Jamie. It had never crossed our minds that she’d be this upset about him getting married.

“Kiddo,” I called out to her, and motioned her to the side of the road. I plopped down on the curb and tried to be casual. “Your dad says you’re upset, sweetie. Want to talk about it?” Tears welled in her eyes. “Jules, it’s ok. Come on, tell me.”

And, boy oh boy did she. Poor kid, she had plotted it all out in her head. She’d loved Jamie since she was seven. She figured she’d grow up before he got married and then the age difference between them wouldn’t mean anything and he would fall in love with her. More than all of that, she was embarrassed that everyone seemed to know how she felt. She was embarrassed that no one took her feelings seriously.

Apparently, she was more embarrassed about being upset than she was about him falling in love with someone else. Hormones, gotta love them. And Carlos goes and literally runs off and leaves me. Yay. I could no longer see his ponytail, his slightly odd stride; the thousands of other runners swallowed him.

I just let her talk. I didn’t know what else to do, other than to not tell her she was being silly. That line never worked for me. Always pissed me off. I guess I did everything right, because eventually she put her arms around me, in pubic no less, and told me she loved me. “I wish you were my mother, Steph.”

“Jules, we can do that. Your dad has told you we could draw up adoption papers any time. Just say the word.”

“No, I mean, I wish you really were my mom. Like, you were married to my dad. It would be weird to have you adopt me if you weren’t married to daddy. Everyone else gets married when they fall in love. Don’t you guys love each other enough? You have a lot of kids. I think you love each other. You are always touching each other and laughing and smiling when you’re together.”

I shook my head in surprise. This chatty Julie had gone missing months ago, replaced by a monosyllabic creature. I had forgotten how perceptive she was. I hadn’t realized that these were things she’d notice.

Hmm. Carlos and I had tabled the marriage conversation years ago. It never seemed important. We knew we loved each other. We were happy together, and our family was growing and beautiful. Marriage had scarred me. I knew beyond any doubt that Carlos wasn’t the Dick, and he knew that Rachel had been a youthful mistake; but somehow, we were both chicken shits and had let the status-quo remain.

“You think so?” I asked; a smile on my face. “I do love your dad. And you. And your brother and sisters. We are a family. You guys are my life.”

“Well, then I think we should all be married, like a real family, Steph.”

That was the end of our deep thought-provoking conversation together, because Henry let out a wail that my aching boobs acknowledged as mealtime.

Xxxxx

My head was about to burst. The sun was a killer today. Only about a quarter mile left, and we all seemed to be at about the same pace, other than show-off Captain, who blew us out of the water. He was probably resting under a tree by now. I glanced down at my running leg. Not as fancy as his since I didn’t have a matching set, but so much more comfortable than my walking leg.

Our time was good. Not about to break our record from last year because of the heat, but not bad. Lester had stopped moaning and groaning about his love life after the first few miles and thrown himself into running the race, which suited me fine. ‘Just tell her you are a changed man, I begged him. Tell her you love her and can’t live without her and leave us out of it.’ I didn’t want to be playing counselor for 26 miles. I liked to zone when I ran.

We were definitely ahead of the rush of the less competitive runners; we had a relatively clear shot to the finish line. I looked again and could see my family. There was Stephanie holding my son; Julie had Sophie in her arms and my Stella was bouncing up and down because she had spotted me.

As a group I saw them move, and almost before I had crossed the finish line and had my timer removed from my shoe they were surrounding me. Little fingers gripped my leg; many arms were wrapped about my sweaty, aching body. I was loved.

Finally, I had caught my breath. Julie had dumped a welcome liter of water over my head, to Sophie’s amusement. We had gathered-- my team, my friends, my family; and had dropped onto a grassy spot off to the side of the main crowds. I stretched out on the ground, a bit away from everyone, and Steph wandered over, my walking leg in her hands. “Looking for this?” She smiled and bent to join me. She had a wet towel, and began to wipe me down. “Ah, babe,” I moaned in ecstasy. “That’s nice.”

“You’re easy, soldier, aren’t ya?” she giggled into my ear. “I have a proposition for you,” she continued, as her fingers began to work out a knot in my shoulders.

“Uhm hm? I’m listening,” I said, tension oozing out of my skin as she rubbed me.

“Actually, a proposal is more like it. Wanna get married?”

I smiled as I closed my eyes. “I’m free on Tuesday.”

THE END.

Somewhat surprised to find that the epilogue evolved into something almost twice as long as a regular chapter? Not nearly as surprised as I was!

Please review!

Thanks for sticking it out! It’s been a long ride to get here, and what more can be said than what I said at the end of my last chapter?

THANK YOU!!!!!

Thanks especially to Beth, Stayce, Kate, Dee and Rena, who tolerated a lot of versions of Big Chill, and held my hand through the tough bits. It makes me proud to call you Friend.