Chapter Twenty-Three

Jacob

When we got back to the house everyone had arrived and was waiting for us. Edward filled them all in on what I had done and Charlie’s improving condition. No one spoke; they just stood looking at me. I could feel their amazement spread out over me.

“Damn, Bella!” Emmett finally broke the silence. “You’ve got some awesome powers there, girl!”

And they were awesome, an awesome burden at times. I could feel everyone becoming a little more relaxed. I smiled up at Edward. It had been over two days now since we had last made love and shared ourselves and all I wanted to do was get back home, crawl into bed with him and stay there for at least a year or two. I let him feel my intentions and his face broke out in that wonderfully crooked smile of his.

“Okay, well I’m ready to go.” He announced as he suddenly pulled me toward the front door. I was surprised he gave in so easily.

“Don’t you want to pick up any of your stuff from the basement?” Rosalie’s voice was full of disbelief. Obviously she wanted to go through the things she was forced to leave behind in the rush to leave so many years ago.

I looked up at Edward’s face. He was eager to get home, as was I, but I could feel his enthusiasm to go through his long lost possessions as well. “Well, since we’re here, maybe you could pick up some of those CD’s you have in the basement?” I didn’t have a problem with that; we had eternity together so I could wait just a little longer.

“There is a lot more in the basement than just CD’s.” Esme said, “We would need quite a few moving vans to move out what is packed away down there. Well, let’s collect what we can now and then we’ll have to make some decisions on what we’re going to do with what’s left. We can’t very well move it all up to Alaska, we just don’t have the room.”

The mood in the room lightened considerably with the prospect of exploring all the things they had left behind. Esme led the way to the entrance of the basement and after opening the large hidden double doors, everyone filed down the stairs talking and laughing. I had never been down there. It was huge, the size of a small warehouse. For having to move everything down there in haste, Carlisle and Esme had it organized quite well.

Edward went straight to his beloved piano and tinkled a few of the keys. It was horribly out of tune from sitting so long down there. He found music that he had written and placed it in a box he had begun loading CD’s into. I stayed close to the stairs. There was nothing down in the basement that belonged to me. I could hear Alice and Rosalie commenting on favorite outfits they had found and how they had gone in and out of style in the last twenty-nine years. I thought it amazing that considering where we were, nothing seemed to have mold on it. Esme had announced to everyone that they needed to make sure whatever they took would fit in their own car and to stop asking her if there was room in her car for extra.

Everyone was having such a wonderful time. It was like Christmas for them and I felt so out of place.

Carlisle drifted over to me, smiled, took my hand and led me back up the stairs. We walked out the back sliding glass door and down to the river that flowed behind the house. When we reached the bank, I stood watching the water rush past. The day was dark and getting darker. The clouds that were forming told that there would be a nasty summer storm very soon. These kinds of storms always came with lightening and thunder. I could smell it in the air, feel the electricity and the torrential rains the clouds were holding. I had missed this place more than I wanted to admit. I stood silently breathing in all the smells I had missed when Carlisle’s voice drifted to me.

“Bella, how long have you known what you are capable of?”

“Years.” My voice was full of sadness.

“Were you afraid to tell us?”

“I didn’t want to scare anyone.”

“Bella, that doesn’t make any sense? Why would we be afraid of you or your power for that matter?” He was smiling at me like I was some silly child, and, compared to him, I most certainly was. But he didn’t know the whole truth yet.

I stepped right to the edge of the water. “Carlisle, you know how Jane uses her thoughts? How she can make you imagine that you are in horrible pain?” He nodded, “Well, I can cause someone to die with a single word.” I felt his shock hit me from behind.

“How do you know this? How do you know you can do this for certain?” He tried to keep his voice level.

“I just know, I don’t know how I do, I just do. Just like I knew I could help Charlie start healing. I know I could help him heal completely but…that would cause problems…for us.” I turned and looked into his eyes, knowing that the feelings I projected towards him would help him feel the burden of this power. He raised his arms and I stepped into them. His fatherly love flowed over me and made me feel that everything would be just fine.

“Bella, never doubt that we love you and will accept you no matter what.” He gently kissed my hair, “Does Edward know about this?”

I thought back to our conversation about Jacob and how Edward alluded to knowing what I could do. “I think he has a pretty good idea but I haven’t actually come right out and told him.”

“I see, well, we’ll need to tell everyone about this after we get home, okay?” I nodded my head against his chest. “Besides, we’re vampires Bella, there isn’t much in this world that can scare us.” We stood together like that for a long while. Carlisle’s unconditional love was amazing. It was no wonder that none of us ever wanted to disappoint him. When we heard the voices of the others coming up from the basement bringing boxes with them, we turned and walked back to the house.

Edward was standing in the doorway and I could tell Carlisle was filling him in on our conversation. No secrets around here, that’s for sure. I waited to see the reaction in Edward’s eyes, to feel it in his body, but it seemed that his beliefs about my powers were only confirmed. Carlisle handed me off to Edward and in that way I physically and mentally slipped from the arms of one unconditional love to another. Edward’s arms folded around me and I felt safe in his love. He raised my chin and playfully covered my face with sweet kisses ending with a full deep passionate one on my lips. We were both breathing hard when his tongue slipped from my mouth. I could hear thunder in the distance. I was sure the lightning I was feeling tingle through my body had come from Edward and not the sky.

“Bella.” He sensuously whispered in my ear.

Damn! He was still such a tease! How in the world can he still dazzle me so? I wondered.

His face had lit up. “Let’s go home.” The feelings I got from him weren’t only from his desire to get home and jump into bed, but I could feel he must have found all kinds of forgotten treasures down in the basement and his anticipation of sharing them with me. I let his happiness fill me.

We all piled into our separate cars and headed out to the road. The clouds were so dark now and we could hear the thunder off in the distance quickly heading in our direction.

Before we actually hit the pavement I laid my hand on Edward’s arm. “Can we stop somewhere first?” There was no way, feeling the way I did right then, that I was going to make it another day before stopping somewhere and sharing myself with him. Besides, there was one more place I wanted to visit before heading home. Edward’s gaze held me for a second as he realized where I wanted to go.

“Definitely.” He pulled out his phone and spoke Carlisle’s name. I could feel desire rising in him.

“We’re going to make a stop before heading home.” He paused for a second, “The meadow…we’ll be fine…yes, I’ll call as soon as we get on the road again.” He closed his phone and I suddenly felt the most curious waves of emotion gently lapping over me. Edward’s arm came around me and pulled me roughly into his side.

“I want to show you something.” He let out a laugh,“ I can’t believe I forgot about the lightning!” He locked me in his gaze, changed his voice to a low growl, “I want you to feel it.”

Deep rumblings had begun coming from inside his chest loud enough to rival the thunder outside. He was building energy right there in the car and I felt it through every cell in my body. I had never felt his desire, his passion so strong, so urgent.

“Edward?” I gasped.

He was starring out the windshield driving faster than he ever had before.

All of a sudden, within the matter of a few seconds, I had no will of my own. I closed my eyes and gave in completely. The lightning built inside of me, spreading throughout my entire body. I couldn’t even speak. The thought crossed my mind that if I was so consumed by this feeling, how was Edward still driving the car? Just as the thought passed I felt the car sliding to a halt, spraying gravel and dirt into the trees. My eyes flew open as Edward pulled me from the car. I couldn’t believe we had gotten to the head of the trail so fast.

“Edward, we’ll never make it to the meadow…I can’t…” I had grabbed onto him as I gasped for air. “I can’t…block you!” Even if I could, I didn’t want to make him stop. “Edward please!”

“Bella, hold on to it, don’t…release it!” He pleaded desperately, “Just run!”

He took my hand and we ran into the forest as if we were running for our lives. My whole body was trembling and so was Edward’s. Just when I felt I could hold it no longer, we broke out of the trees into the perfect circle that was the meadow. Edward picked me up and danced me in circles into the center. The lightning in the sky was so close now I could feel the sizzle of electricity in the air. Edward had stopped as soon as we reached the center and we stood in each other’s arms looking into the sky breathing heavily, holding our energies in.

“Hold it, Bella. Wait for the lightning.” His voice deep with anticipation.

The electricity in the sky came together and a tremendous jagged bolt of light tore through the air directly above us. The thunder that accompanied it was deafening. At that split second both Edward and I released the energy we had held and the sensation was so overwhelming that it sucked the breath out of me. I felt as if every cell in my body had just exploded with pleasure. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if we had been hit by the bolt that had crashed above our heads.

We were both breathing frantically when our lips met. We were trembling so violently it was all I could do to hang on to him. The sensation began to calm until we were only quivering. Lightning continued to flash around us, but not as close or as powerful. I could feel the rain in the air that was so near, so ready to pour down on us. Our lips parted for a moment. I held on to Edward’s neck as I stared into his beautiful face.

“How did you know that would happen?” I was still trying to calm my breathing.

Edward’s smile was huge. “Emmett and Jasper told me about it and in all this time together, we’ve never been in a lightning storm. Did you like it?”

“Oh yeah!” Did I ever! “Can we do that again?”

The most wonderful sensuous smile came over his gorgeous face. He leaned down and kissed my neck, “Actually, it’s supposed to feel much more intense while making love.” He whispered. Our need and excitement filled the already electrified air. Our lips came together as we slowly pulled at each other’s clothing. Everything was building all over again. I left myself completely exposed to feel it all when an emotion that didn’t belong to Edward hit me like slap in the face.

Rage.

As our lips parted I drew in a gasp at the intensity of it.

Rage. A horrible anger that was being controlled from within.

“Jacob.” The name barely passed my lips.

He was here. Edward heard his thoughts at the same instant I felt his rage. We both looked into the forest where we knew he was standing in the shadows. I could plainly see his outline deep within the trees. Edward and I were so consumed in our own needs that neither of us felt or heard his approach.

Edward snarled and crouched as if to attack. I grabbed his shoulder and stepped past him as he stood to his full height.

“No, Edward. This is my battle.” A growl slipped past my lips. This had to end here, one way or another I would leave my fear of Jacob’s threats behind. I could feel Jacob’s rage was directed toward Edward. He wanted to rip him apart. I felt the tremors shaking his body as he fought to stay in his human form. I turned my back to him and took Edward’s face in my hands. He didn’t take his eyes from Jacob for a second.

“Please remember, whatever I may say, whatever I may do, I love only you.” I pulled his neck to my mouth and ran my tongue lovingly across his skin feeling the tremors race down his body. I turned within his arms and looked into Jacob’s eyes. Even in the darkness, I could see the fire burning inside of him.

Edward’s mouth was next to my ear, his husky growl whispered to me, “Play nice, my love.” I smiled as he ran his razor sharp teeth over the jagged scars Jacob had inflicted on me. My whole body shook from pain and pleasure.

The flash of Edward’s teeth on my neck was enough for Jacob. His rage overtook him; he transformed and sprang from the trees. In seconds he was within feet of where Edward and I were standing. I was ready and let the command of my voice flow out of me in deep tones.

“Jacob stop!” I barely raised my voice above the thunder, but still the werewolf stopped in mid air and fell to the ground with an angry yelp. His momentum carried him closer as he slid along the moist grass. He stood on all fours and furiously snapped and growled in my direction, but he couldn’t take a step any closer.

“Just stop it Jacob, it won’t do you any good. Transform.” Even through my deep hypnotic tones my voice was silky smooth. I could see the utter confusion and fear in his eyes as he involuntarily phased back into his human form. He stayed on the ground, on his knees looking at me.

“What did you do to me?” His roar was quick and sudden, but not unexpected. He started to rise.

“Stay on your knees, Jacob.” Even on his knees he was almost as tall as I was and I certainly wasn’t in the mood to be looking up at him. I stepped closer to him. I could feel Edward’s emotions behind me, he was not happy with my being so far from him and so close to Jacob. But I could also feel his calmness, he was not afraid for me in any way.

“Calm down, Jacob.” I changed the tone of my voice and could see the influence it was having on him. Every word persuasive, mesmerizing. I came within inches of his face. His dark eyes were still full of fear. “I have quite a lot I want to talk to you about.” His eyes were beginning to glaze over and his breathing was slowing. He stayed on his knees, hands limply hanging at his sides.

“Bella…I”

I placed my fingers over his burning lips, “Ah…ah…ah…no talking. It’s my turn to make the promises.” Cat like, I walked around him feeling the heat coming from his body and it bathed me in warmth.

“You haven’t changed much. I guess being a werewolf does have a few advantages. Maybe a little older looking, but you’re still as beautiful as ever.” And he was. He was completely naked and so gorgeous.

I could feel a strange pooling sensation in my eyes. All my senses became heightened. Venom flooded my mouth. We didn’t seduce animals, we just killed them, but here was a man completely in my control. Thirst swept through me. Though I had never hunt a human, this must be the feeling that accompanied that kind of seduction.

Within a blink I had it controlled.

Reaching out my hand, I softly touched his burning skin. I traced my hand around his bare back, across his shoulders and finally his naked chest. I was playing nice so far. I placed both my hands on his shoulders and slowly brought them up around his neck smoothly slipping my fingers up his cheeks and entwining them in his long black hair. I brushed his lips gently with mine. His body trembled both from my kiss and his desperate need to phase. His scent was not completely unpleasant; it had some honey sweet undertones to it. Slowly I slid my hands down his shoulders and leaned over and placed my lips against his tender neck. He shuddered at my touch as I shuddered at the tremendous heat that pumped through his huge veins.

I could do it.

I could end my suffering. I could stop playing nice.

But…then he would never suffer… and that wasn’t fair. I wanted him to suffer long and hard.

I lifted my head and looked down into his dark eyes.

“Jacob, I have waited so long to thank you for giving me what I truly wanted all along, with one exception…do you have any idea how your promise has haunted me all these years?” His expression changed to one of shock. As if he had no clue I would even think about his promise. I let out a laugh, “Right! As if I would ever forget!” I practically spat in his face. He tried to shake his head, but I held him fast. “And the second I see you again, you try to kill my husband. What do you have to say about that?”

“I’m so sorry!” His voice was weak and pleading, “There haven’t been vampires here in so long, I lost control…Please, I’m so sorry!”

I cut off his words, “I have something I want to share with you, Jacob. Something to help you understand the fear I’ve held onto because of you.” My hands slid back to his feverish face and I locked his eyes in my gaze.

I reached inside and ripped opened the hole within me that had healed over with so much scar tissue. I had no idea the pain I would cause myself as every horrible memory I ever had flowed through me like a river. I screamed at the suddenness of my own pain. I poured that misery into Jacob’s quaking body. He howled to the sky pleading for me to stop. I held onto him and watched as tears flooded from his eyes over my fingers, down his copper-colored skin.

Then I felt the electricity in the air, another bolt of lightning was building above us. Then it lit up the meadow with blinding light and deafening thunder. Within the ringing of my ears I heard a voice from long ago.

“Sometimes we must do what is best to protect the ones we love from ourselves. Don’t you agree, Bella?” Aro’s words had come back so clear and I knew now exactly what he had meant by them.

I broke my connection. While still holding Jacob in my control, I fell to my knees and sobbed. I had failed miserably in my attempts to protect Edward from my fear of Jacob’s promise. If I were to take Jacob’s life, drain him of his blood I so desperately wanted, I would surely have broken every promise I had ever made. No matter that my family would forgive me, I would carry this failure for all time.

I could feel Edward’s presence behind me. He had rushed to within a step of me as I fell to my knees. I stood up using Jacob’s shoulders to keep myself steady. His beautiful face was the mirror image of my pain. I was horrified by what I had done. I closed my eyes and felt the tremors of my sorrow mixed with Jacob’s.

“Why didn’t you come?” I whispered, “What were you waiting for?”

“I couldn’t…I love you.”

A wave of anger rolled through me and I reached out and slapped his face knocking him to the ground. At that moment, he was lucky to be a werewolf; a human skull would have caved in from the force of my blow.

Don’t use the voice…don’t use it! Don’t use it! I repeated in my head until I could speak normally.

“Damn you, Jacob Black.” I hissed at him.

He pushed himself up to his knees again, raised his head to face me, “Sam said you were happy—that’s all I ever wanted for you.”

“Sam? Sam is here?” Had he really come home from Italy? Did he really survive?

“No, he disappeared after…” His head bowed, “He sent me a postcard from Italy and all it said was that he saw you and that you were happy.” He raised his head and the haunted look in his eyes was so frightening. “You were right to choose him, to love Edward. I would have killed you—no matter how much I loved you, there are some things that just can’t be controlled.”

Suddenly, I realized that I was the one who had held on so tightly to his promise. A promise he had forgotten long ago. I looked up into the black clouds and felt the first fat drops wet my face. In the distance I could see the curtain of water pouring from the clouds coming rapidly toward us. Enough water to wash away everything that ever happened in this beautiful meadow.

I touched my forehead to Jacob’s as the drops of rain became heavier. His skin burned next to mine. I pulled my voice forward using the deep resonating tones to sooth him.

“Jacob, you will never come to this meadow again, you will never remember anything that ever happened here. You will forget everything you know about the Cullen family and me, it will be as if we only existed in a bad dream.”

Suddenly the rain hit us.

I could feel the changes taking place within his body as his brain rearranged his memories. His muscles relaxed and his eyes softened. I ran my hands down his long arms and encouraged him to stand. He was much taller than I had remembered. His face was almost child-like now that so much of the pain that controlled him was forgotten. Here was my sweet Jake. My friend.

I smiled, dazzling him. The smile he returned was one of the most breathtaking smiles I had ever seen.

“Jacob, do you know who I am?”

He was confused by my question. “Well um…no, I’m sorry but I think I would remember someone who looked the way you do but…” He was staring at my face.

“How do I look?”

“You’re skin is so…you sparkle! It hurts my eyes, but it’s kind of pretty.” He smiled again.

“Do you know where you are?” I really needed him to be able to find his way home.

He looked around the meadow and his eyes settled back on me. “Not really. I must be close to home though because everything smells familiar, except for you.” His nose seemed to wrinkle involuntarily.

“Dreams are always a bit confusing.”

“Am I dreaming then?” He was ready to believe anything I told him.

“In a way, but now it’s time for you to go home. You will never see me again, not even in a dream.” I pulled my voice forward and released his hands.

“Wait!”

“Go home Jake.” He slowly turned and ran off into the trees.

Edward’s arms closed around me from behind as the rain soaked us.

“I love you.” His whisper sent a wave of lightning racing through my body and I wanted him so badly.

“If you love me…then love me.” I whispered back.

We stayed in the meadow making love and sharing ourselves repeatedly, without fear. I was free to give myself fully to my husband. To spend eternity enjoying the feel of his skin, the sound of his voice and the touch of his lips was all I could ever want. The rain poured on us for hours, washing away the past. The clouds began to break up when the sun was just above the treetops.

As the suns warm rays broke through under the dark clouds, it lit up our skin and the rainbows of color we sent off were reflected in each drop of water hanging from the trees and covering the tall grass. It was an awesome sight, even to me.

I looked into my only loves dark eyes, “I’m ready to go home now. “ I whispered.

We stood and looked around us. Then within the blink of an eye we disappeared into the forest leaving the meadow as if we had never existed.