A sense of dread came over her. She tried to twist herself from Jake’s grasp, to see if Edward had really gone away. He would never leave her with Jake – or would he? What did this all mean? Was Edward suddenly racing to Alaska, never to be seen again?

Jake felt how tense she was within his arms. “Hey,” he said gently, stopping to turn her to face him. His brown eyes were big with worry. “Are you okay? God, you almost gave me a heart attack back there.” He waited in silence for her to answer, his arms tightening their hold around her.

She nodded numbly. “I – I’m fine. Just a bit stunned, that’s all.” For some odd reason she felt a sob grow within her chest, and she suddenly didn’t care if Jake saw her cry. “I’m so sorry. So sorry. I just – wasn’t thinking!” In her mind she was saying these words to Edward. However, it was Jake’s shoulder she laid her head against, and his neck she pressed her face against.

“Shh – it’s fine. Nothing happened, right? No one’s hurt.” He rubbed her back in a circular motion, his palm nearly scorching against her chilled skin. There was a long pause before he asked again, “The bloodsucker didn’t hurt you, did he?”

His question made Bella cry even louder. “No – of course not,” she answered after a moment, her voice thick and gummy. The tears stung her reddened cheeks, the skin sensitive from the icy water. “I’m the one who hurt him.” She felt Jake roll his eyes.

“You didn’t hurt him,” he said, exasperated. “He’s like a trillion years old. He can take care of himself.” He smiled with pressed lips at her. “You, on the other hand, need a good meal and warmth – inside of you.” His cheeks reddened once he realized what he had said. Bella couldn’t help it – she smiled up at him and her lips twisted with laughter.

“You know what I mean!” he said hurriedly, but the red tint within his cheeks darkened. “You need – a good meal inside of you, and warmth – as in a blanket – on top of you.”

Bella almost said, What? Not you on top of me?, but she knew that would be pushing the limit. Jake was her friend – her best friend. She just couldn’t spout out suggestive nonsense like that. “What sort of meal are we talking about?” She flinched once she realized the suggestiveness of her comment. She couldn’t win, could she?

Jake gave her an odd look. “I still have some cash left over from that alternator job I did for Joe Ullman. I could order us some pizza?”

“Hmm, maybe. I’ll look at what you have in the fridge once we get back to your place.”

“I’m not promising anything. Billy and I rarely cook.”

Bella gasped jokingly and looked at him with scandal. “Jacob Black! How do you eat, then?”

“One of the many perks from living on the reservation.” He smiled down at her, his youthful face fresh.

“Well, I’m driving,” Bella said almost defensively as she stepped out of his arms.

“No you are not! You were sick only a few minutes ago!”

Bella stuck her tongue out at him. “I’m fine now.”

“It’s my bomb-ass technique. I can cure you anytime!”

Bella snorted. “Bomb-ass? Is that a new slang word or something?”

“What? The big old seniors are too good for bomb-ass?”

Bella just laughed.

“I have no idea where I put that money! Forty bucks was in my wallet – now it’s gone!” Jake stalked angrily into the kitchen. “I bet you it was my dad!” He raised his fist to punch something, but Bella stopped him.

“You are such a child, Jake! You can’t just break things because something doesn’t work out for you!”

Jake’s anger seemed to deflate at her words. “I’m not a child,” he grumbled, sitting down at the table. The chair groaned in protest from his weight. “I’m just sick and tired of Billy going through my things. They’re mine, not his!”

“Calm down – he only does it because he cares about you.” Wanting to change the subject, she said, “All I could find were these Apple Jacks in your cupboard.”

“You mean some Apple Jakes? That’s what my dad calls them because I love them so much.”

Bella laughed loudly. “APPLE JAKES? You know what – I’m calling you that from now on. Apple Jakes.”

Jake scowled. “If you must, Blue-Bells.”

“Where does that come from?” she asked, laughing.

Jake reddened horribly and looked away. “Nothing. Just – forget about it.”

Intrigued, Bella said, “No, it’s all right. You can tell me.” She watched in amazement as Jake’s face contorted in embarrassment.

“It’s just something stupid Embry said.”

“Oh, come on – you have to tell me now!” Bella walked over to him, punching him gently in the arm. “Tell me, please.”

“Ugh – Embry and Quil called you Blue-Bells once because – because they said you give me blue-balls whenever you are around.”

Bella gaped at him as she felt her own face heat up. “But – but, I doubt your – yeah – go blue.”

“They don’t!” Jake said, his voice high. “Of course they don’t!” There was an awkward pause before Jake said, “But I bet that bloodsucker’s balls are constantly blue.”

“APPLE JAKES! STOP IT!” she yelled, smacking him against the arm. She didn’t know if he was referring to the color of Edward’s skin or – Edward being aroused by her. She felt the flush on her cheeks move to her neck. “This is such a disgusting topic to talk about,” she said into her hands. “I think I should go home now.”

“Bella, wait,” Jake said as he grabbed onto her wrists. “I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have said anything.” His eyes were pleading at her.

She laughed. “No, it’s not that. I just need to get home. You probably want to meet up with the pack soon, anyway.” She really wanted to find Edward and explain everything to him.

“The pack can wait – I want to be with you right now.” He brought her hands up to his face and kissed her palms. She blushed and shook her head.

“It’s not you – I just need to get home.”

His face crumbled and he nodded his understanding. “Okay – can I at least get a hug?”

“Yeah.” She stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as best she could. He stared down at her for a moment and laughed, his chest rumbling. Lifting her off the ground, he pressed her against his chest as he hugged her close. She closed her eyes and pressed further into the warmth, the feel of her breasts against his hard chest strangely pleasing. For a moment she felt she could become lost within his hold, within the heat and comforting sturdiness.

“Bella,” he whispered as he buried his face into her hair draped along her neck. They stayed like that for a long moment until Bella made the effort to pull away.

Jake released her slowly and sighed, his eyes saddened. “See you around, Bella.”

“Yeah, you too,” she answered, surprised by the way her throat seemed to constrict around needed air.

She spotted Edward’s car parked down the road from her house and knew, with a twist of anxious excitement, that he would be in her room when she arrived. She hit the gas pedal to get to her house quicker, and the truck thudded to a halt once she turned into her driveway.

Lounging on the couch with his socked-feet propped on the arm, Charlie looked startled when Bella banged the door shut. “Hi, Dad!” she said, already moving past him to the stairs.

“Bells, wait – how was your day with Jake?”

Bella paused on her way up the stairs. “Great, great. I really need to use the bathroom!”

“Oh, okay,” Charlie said, still startled. “Oh, and Bells – you should watch out for mice up there. I heard some banging tonight, and I think I’ll call the exterminator in the morning to come up and have a look.”

His words made something within Bella’s stomach stink. What was Edward doing that made Charlie take notice? Her steps up the stairs and to her room were slower, but it wasn’t as if she could hide now. Edward knew she was here and he was most likely waiting for her.

Edward was lying on top of her bed when she entered the room, his arms resting under his head. His expression had that familiar brooding quality, and she knew he had waited for her in that exact position for a long time, thinking and thinking.

“I didn’t mean to alarm your father,” Edward said quietly, his voice like gravel. He didn’t look at her, but continued to stare up at the ceiling.

Bella was frightened as she edged slowly to the bed. “It’s fine – I just wish he wouldn’t have to waste his money on an exterminator call.” She watched as he swallowed thickly, the pale skin stretched over his Adam’s apple. “Edward,” she began, her voice hoarse, “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you – to push you!”

He laughed bitterly. “You didn’t hurt me.” He rolled his head slowly to the side to look at her. “However, I know I hurt you.”

“You didn’t! You didn’t!” she said, almost hysterically. She took off her shoes and crawled over the bed to him. “I – I liked it, a lot.”

“You like it when I lose control? You like it when I become a monster?” He closed his eyes and his whole body stiffened. “Is it the – sex?” He paused over the word as if he were contaminated.

Bella felt her cheeks flame. “Not – exactly.” She looked away from him and stared down at the bed. “I just – want you to make a choice, whatever that may be. I want to be with you in so many ways – forever.”

“What if my choice was to leave again? I don’t want to hurt you, Bella!”

“You’d hurt me if you left! You’d hurt me the most!” She reached out to touch him, but in an instance he was across the room, back pressed into the corner. “Stop running away from me!” Without thinking, she got to her feet and followed him across the room. Her expression dared him to move again as she pressed against him.

“Bella,” he croaked, his cold body stiff as she wrapped herself around him, burying her face into his chest. “You don’t know what you are asking.”

“I know enough.” She stepped back and stared up at him, hard. “I know that you are being ridiculous. That you shouldn’t dangle the threat of leaving in front of me every time I want something that you don’t.” She walked back to the bed and took off her jeans, slipping under the covers.

“No! I’m not going to have sex with you right now, Bella.” He pressed himself further into the wall. “Please, understand.”

She snorted. “I’m exhausted and I’d like you to join me in bed as I sleep. We have done this a million times.” She patted the empty space beside her. “I promise I won’t do anything.”

Nodding, he was next to her in a moment, cradling her against him. “I love you. I just want what’s best for you.”

Yawning, she allowed herself to melt into the comfortable familiarity of his arms. “I know.”