A/N:

italics flashback, bold Joey observations

I walk back with Jenny to the waiting room after finding her crying by window next to the elevators. When she told me Tommy and Kevin had left, I didn't need any more details. I knew why they had left and that they weren't coming back-- for awhile at least. Hopefully in one piece.

All I could do was let her cry on my shoulder and stare out the window at the rain. Why did it always have to be like this for us? Waiting for something horrible to happen?

I let go of Jenny's long sleeve as she left me. I wrap my arms around myself now wishing that I'd brought a jacket.

I must have fallen asleep in the chair because when I woke up, I felt someone sitting beside me. I wipe my eyes and whisper, "Jimmy?"

Kevin shakes his head, "Just me."

"Hey. When did you and Tommy get back?" I ask.

Kevin flexes his legs, "Fifteen, twenty minutes ago. I didn't want to wake you up. You looked like you'd been sleeping for awhile."

I wrap my arms around myself again. "How's your ma?"

He shrugs, "She's okay, I guess. Under the circumstances. I tried to get her to sit down, so did Jenny." He shakes his head, "She hasn't moved."

I glance down once at Kevin's sleeve and something caught my eye. I look back and there it was. A red stain. I rotate his wrist slightly, and look at it in full view.

He doesn't look at me or try and pull away. He knew that I knew what they'd done for Sean. A feeling of panic came over me and I tucked the sleeve inside his jacket, looking around to make sure no one was watching. There were people across the room but they were out of our view. I put my hand on his and lean on his shoulder.

"Jimmy's dead-- isn't he? If he is, Kevin you have to tell me. Please." I barely got out. I knew there was no way in hell he was going to rehab like Tommy had said. If he was going to he would have done it ages ago.

"No." He says quickly, holding me tightly against his body. He turns his head so his mouth is to my ear. "Me and Tommy took care of it. Jimmy got arrested for the truck thing. He's going to rehab. If he doesn't make it, I'll bail him myself first thing." I start to cry out of relief or sadness. I don't know which. Probably both.

"Jesus-- why Seany? You know I think that kid is the only person in the world I'd take a beating like that for. I'd do it in a second without even thinking about it."

Kevin nods, "I know you would. So would I-- just wish we would have got there sooner. We didn't have a reason to worry about him. No one even knew he was out."

"Kevin, what did Ji--" I stop when Helen calls Kevin's name. The doctor had come back with Sean's results. I walk with him into the next hallway. Tommy showed up just before Jenny, but they'd obviously been together. In what sense, I didn't have a clue, because they both looked awkwardly at each other after she put her hand on his shoulder and then removed it like he had some kind of a disease.

After the doctor left, Tommy told Helen he and Kevin had to step out. Tommy turns to me first, "Can we talk outside for a minute?"

I nod and walk with Tommy and Kevin to the elevators. He tells Kevin to give us a second and we walk to a corner.

He looks right into my eyes, speaking softly. "Listen to me, I know you're worried about him, okay? I know that. But you have to promise me something right now."

"What?" I ask.

"You can't bail him. He needs to stay and go to rehab. Frankie made a deal with the judge. I know you want to help him as much as I do. If he gets out, he won't go."

That was an easy answer. Of course I wasn't going to bail him out. Not if it meant he'd get his life back-- partially at least. "No one's bailing him out."

Tommy nods, lightly kissing the top of my head. "Thank you. Take care of Jenny and ma while we're gone, huh?" He moves past me back to the elevators.

I turn back to them as they step on, "Where are you guys goin'?"

"Shopping." answeres Tommy before the doors close.

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, that makes a whole 'lotta sense."

I went back to the Diner with Jenny four or five hours later after I asked Helen for the sixty millionth time if she was okay. She would have said yes whether she was or not. Tommy was the same way. Both of them rarely thought of themselves before others they cared about.

I went to my apartment across the street to change clothes before I started my shift. The light was blinking on my answering machine. One new message.

I look at the light for five whole minutes before I have the stones to push the play button. Jimmy's shaky, tired voice filled the room. "Mads-- baby, it's me. You home? Pick up the phone. Mad? Listen, something-- I got arrested. I'm in the tombs. I-- Baby, I need out. I'm sick. I'm real sick. I called Tommy and he's not gonna do it. Kevin said he would but I figure Tommy'll talk him out of it, if he hasn't already." There was a long pause before he spoke again. I was holding my breath the whole time. "I need you."

The next few seconds were a blur. Anger, frustration, rage, obligation.. protectiveness.. all emotions that were going on inside of me. Love, too. Which was the hardest one to fight. I rewind the tape and listen to the last part again. 'I need you'. I tear the machine out of the wall and throw it across the room. "Shit!"

How in the hell can I love someone this much and want to do the worst possible thing for him?

No, I wasn't bailing him out. Not this time. Even if he was tweaking. The drugs always wore off. He'd be okay.. he'd be okay.

He'd be okay.

The next morning, I went into work early. It was always busy on Wednesdays at lunchtime and I wanted to get a jump on everything. Nervous energy I guess. Jimmy's voice had been playing over and over in my head for the past twenty-four hours. I had to find some way to drown it out.

I shut the door to the Diner, locking it back and put my purse down behind the counter. I head to the back room to get napkins and as soon as I open the door, there was Jenny, sitting on the floor with her knees pulled to her chest. "Jen? What are you doing on the floor?" I lean down to her level.

Jenny looks up at me, and lets out a deep sigh. "Close the door."

"You know I haven't sweeped back here in weeks, right?" I answer and pull the door closed.

Jenny says quickly, "I slept with Tommy last night."

I spin around and take off my jacket to sit on the floor with. "What?"

She runs her hands through her hair, "It was such a mistake, Mad. I don't even know how it happend."

I laugh, "I'll tell you how it happend. Your in love with him. He's in love with you. Seems simple to me. I'm just glad you both finally got some sense. So, details please?"

She just looks at me. This didn't look good. "He came by the Diner last night and I was gonna tell him-- that I couldn't be with him. He was standing by the door. I was standing behind the counter." She stops, taking a deep breath. "I don't know what happend. He was looking at me. I'd never seen him look at me like that."

I roll my eyes, "That's because you've never paid attention. I know that look. He's been looking at you like that since we were ten years old."

She continues on and ignores the comment. "Then it just happend, and it was amazing. It was everything I ever wanted." She was crying now. "He told me he loved me."

I stand up and lay my jacket down next to her, and sit on it. "Do you love him?"

She nods her head slowly. "Yeah, I do. I love him. I think I've been in love with him for a long time. But, something else happend. I did something last night. Something I shouldn't have done. But I had to do it." She was crying harder now, "I had to. It was the only way he wouldn't go away."

I pull her to me so her head was on my shoulder. "What are you talking about?"

It was several seconds before she started speaking. She told me about the basement and the blood she washed off the steps. I thought about the headline in the paper this morning as she cried on my shoulder about how she could never be with him. Not after something like that. I knew things about Jimmy that Jenny didn't know, and I knew that he had no reason to kill Sal and Huey. Even if he was messed up, he wouldn't have been stupid enough to kill either of them. He couldn't have pulled it off alone.

I also knew that the Italians were the ones who beat up Sean, and that Jimmy and Kevin had left the hospital last night for over two hours, and Kevin had blood on his sleeve.

It didn't take long to figure out that Tommy wasn't the one who killed someone in the basement. Fuck, Jimmy.

The next night, I got home from work to find my door halfway open. I slowly pushed it open and walk inside. Nothing was out of order in the living room or kitchen. Usually when someone broke in the place was a mess. I pick up the bat sitting in the hallway closet and start walking to the back of the apartment.

Joey had given me the bat to hide awhile back and never asked for it back.

Water was running but then it stopped. The shower was in my bedroom. I push the door open with the bat ready for anything. I rose it above my head when the door to the bathroom opened. The perpetrator put his hands up, towel around his waist almost falling down. I stop, realizing it was only Jimmy.

"What the hell Jimmy! You scared the shit out of me!" I shout at him.

He still had his hands up, adjusting the towel around his waist. He chuckles, "This how you fend off burglars, Mad?"

I throw the bat down and plop down on the bed. "What are you doing here?"

He slips back into the bathroom. "No hot water at the bar. Water company turned it off on account of late payments."

I roll my eyes, "There's a shock. What's it been three months?"

He walks out of the bathroom with jeans and no shirt. "Four." He sits next to me and I tense. He pulls me close and kisses the side of my head. "Sorry I scared ya. I had to get a shower after being in that holdin' cell."

I nod, "I know. It's okay. You just-- you know. Freaked me out."

He starts towel drying his hair and I walk over to the dresser and take out one of his shirts. "Here, it's clean." I hand it to him.

He pulls it on over his head. "Thanks."

I didn't want to push anything. This wasn't the first time he'd shown up after being gone for days at a time or after getting out of jail. He had a key so he wasn't breaking in or anything. It was just like every other day. Problem with that was, this time it was supposed to be different. "Jimmy-- what happend to rehab?"

He lays back on the bed, "Kevin bailed me. They turned me loose."

Yeah, I'd definately be mentioning that to him on a later date. Kevin was always bailing Jimmy out. Even when it wouldn't help him. I lay down on the bed too, and I want to say something, but he was already looking at me with those sad eyes of his. Those sad eyes that were my weakness every time I wanted to tell him he'd done something to hurt me. He runs a hand through my hair, "What's wrong? I know I didn't scare you that bad."

I shake my head, and bury my head in his chest. "No, you didn't. It's nothing. I'm just glad your out. I missed you a little bit."

"Only a little bit, huh?"

"You see, that's the great thing about denial. It blinds you completely to what's really going on. In Maddie and Jimmy's case, it was the drugs and the situation with Louie Downtown and the Italians. Two things she knew about that he didn't want her to know about, and two things she couldn't confront him about. Not then at least. Sometimes it takes something bigger for the reality part to kick in-- or is it kick you in the ass? I forget."