A/N:

italics flashback, bold Joey observations

Credit goes to Katie05 for some of this chapter that we wrote together for a role play. I rewrote it, but she still deserves half the credit ;)

A dark basement. Arm to arm with a terrified, and trying not to show it, Jenny Reilly. I'm standing across from Dokey and next to some huge guy named Earl. Six or more drinks past my limit. Waiting for three of the four Donnelly brothers to show up, hopefully packing. It's safe to say the night isn't going well.

Me? Under normal circumstances, I'd be just as scared as Jenny is. We were manhandled into a basement by Dokie Farrell for crying out loud. But because of me being half-drunk and so mad at Jimmy I could barely see straight, I was just plain pissed off. The irritating numbness in my toes, which happens everytime I get really drunk, was starting and the urge to beat the ever-loving shit out of Earl, who kept putting his hand on my shoulder to try and keep me from moving away from him.

I put my arm around Jenny, and rub her arm reassuringly. "It's gonna be okay, Jen. Just relax."

Jenny glances over at me, hands by her sides. "Easy for you to say. I'm not drunk."

I take a deep breath. "Tommy and-- Tommy'll be down any minute. Then they'll let us go."

There was Earl's hand pressing down again. I glare up at him, and shift my weight towards Jenny. "You gotta keep putting your hands on me like that? What do you think we're gonna go flying up through the floorboards or something?" I jerk my shoulder away from him. "Get off of me."

His hand didn't move. I glance towards the open doorway when the creaks start and the shadow against the light hits my face. Tommy showed. Thank God. My expression changes after I hear Dokie say they showed. They? Oh, shit. Now I realized why I'd been brought with Jenny. Dokey had no idea who killed Huey.

Tommy is standing in front of Dokey, eyes moving from me to Jenny. But they stay on Jenny, with her arms wrapped protectively around herself trying not to completely lose it. Jimmy limps in from behind and stands next to him. His eyes look glazed over, but I can tell he's partially sober. That was something at least. The last thing the four of us needed was another one of us that wasn't exactly lucid.

One thing did catch my attention and my aggitation (or half of it at least) turned to worry. They both appeared to be unarmed.

My now-worried eyes turn to connect with Jimmy's fiery, pissed off ones. We stare at eachother until the tight grip on my arm causes the blood in my veins to boil uncontrollably. My eyes divert from Jimmy's and met Earl's. "You know I wasn't sure before, but now I know you must be either deaf and dumb or out of your goddamn mind. Get your hands off of me!"

Jenny tugs at the bottom of my sleeve. "She's not going anywhere. Maddie, stop. Please."

I ignore Jenny, and struggle with all of my newfound energy against Earl's heavy frame, but he isn't letting up. I look to Dokey. "Tell your friend over here that I'm not a rag doll Doke, huh? I bruise just like everyone else. I'm sick of this macho bullshit. We know you're tough, Okay? Message received."

"Dokey--" Jimmy starts, before shooting an angry look at Earl. "Touch her again, and I'll cut off your hand and feed it to you. Understand?"

Tommy blinks twice, and his hand rises. "Everyone just relax. Dokey, this whole thing would go alot smoother if you told him to ease up. My brother's not gonna be very manageable if he keeps having to watch his girlfriend get manhandled."

Dokey looks at both of them unemotionally. "Truthfully Tommy, I don't care how manageable Jimmy is at this point. I want straight answers, and I intend to get them. No matter who has to die down here tonight or who we have to manhandle-- I'm gonna get them."

Tommy does his best impersonation of a peacemaker. "You don't want to kill anyone, Dokey. We're just talking."

I find myself backing down when Tommy glances over at me, trying to let me know that I wasn't helping either of them, and that he had things under control.

After a few seconds, Earl left me and went to the door. He grabs something and hands it to Dokey. "Thanks Earl."

It was an axe. My heart has dropped into my stomach, and my imagination is running a thousand miles a minute.

Dokey turns the axe over, and rotates it with his hand. "Where's your other brother?"

No, that didn't look good. Kevin looked more scared than I'd ever seen him before they brought me down here. The fact that he ran off didn't surprise me. If there was one thing he wasn't cut out for it was this. No way in hell he could have looked Dokey in the eye and lied to him about the night Huey was killed.

Tommy looks over at us. "You two should go. Jimmy, take them upstairs."

Jimmy shakes his head, "You take them upstairs. I'm good right here. Mad, take Jenny and go with Tommy."

I glare at Jimmy, not intending to go anywhere now. "Don't tell me who to go upstairs with, Jimmy. Alright? You go upstairs. Fuck yourself while you're at it."

Jimmy is about to respond when Dokey steps in. "No one's taking anybody upstairs."

"You want to tell us what we're all doing down here?" Jimmy asks.

Dokey points at him. "Shutup, Jimmy. Okay? You and your girlfriend talk too much. It's starting to really irritate me."

I roll my eyes. I wanted to say try living it for fifteen years, but decide against it.

Dokey waits a few seconds before he starts to speaks. "It's funny-- there's all these people right up there, and we're down here just a few feet away. Something totally different going on, you know? And they're none the wiser. It's funny how that works. You know, you guys could wind up dead tonight. I could just say that I was at a wake. It's the truth, I've got witnesses." He looks to Tommy, "You ever find yourself in a situation Tommy, with your brothers, that people could have swore you were there, and yet you were doing something else?"

I knew then that Dokie thought Jimmy had killed Huey and Tommy was covering for him. There was no way any of us were getting out of here alive.

I watch as Tommy's eyes close, trying to take all of this in. "I need them to leave, Dokey."

Jenny looks over at Tommy, her voice cracking slightly. "We're fine right here."

I nod in agreement, looking right at Jimmy. "What she said."

Jimmy looked more angry with me than I'd ever seen him. And this was counting the time I told his mother he was the one who slipped cinnamon in her macaroni and cheese casserole before Christmas Eve dinner when we were ten. But I didn't care. I was hell bent on staying. But from the way Jenny looked now, I didn't think she could take much more of this. Unlike me, she didn't have anything to prove to anyone.

Dokey continues, "Girls sound like they're good where they are, Tom." Looking to Jimmy, "I know you killed Huey. I don't know how you did it, but I know you killed him. You were the last one with him, Tommy. And you, big mouth. Shooting your mouth off at the bar that your brothers killed for you. You've got a big mouth, Jimmy."

The bar. Stupid son of a bitch. That was why Dokie thought it was him. He was the reason they were all in this mess. At that point, I made a promise to myself that whether or not Dokie and Earl killed all of us down in this basement, I was going to refuse any eye contact with Jimmy. I was fuming, I was so mad at him.

"You know I'm not the smartest guy in the world. But I do know one way to get to the truth."

My eyes widen when the sound of metal starts scraping against the floor. Dokey slams a keg in front of Jimmy. This was not happening. I knew what was coming next. What he'd ask him to do. It's one of Jimmy's only weaknesses, aside from his mother, Sean, and now me apparently. The thing he hates most about himself. His shattered leg.

I watch intently as he starts to laugh, egging Dokie on, and swings his leg up on the keg like he was only bluffing. Dokie rests the axe over his shoulder, and circles the room. "That's your bum leg isn't it?"

Jenny steps forward slightly. She may not like Jimmy, but he was like a brother to her all the same. "Stop this."

Tommy's once-cool expression changes drastically. Mine had too. Except mine had gone from angry to terrified. "He was in the tombs when your brother was killed, Dokie."

Damn all of that history to hell. That day in the hospital when we were kids. That's all I'm thinking about when I squeeze my eyes shut, dreading what came next.

"I'm not gonna be able to walk, right? I'm gonna be one of those freaks--" He swallows hard, trying to get the next set of words out. "..one of those cripples who the other kids stare at and make fun of behind their backs. Son of bit-"

"Stop it! You won't be a freak, Jim. You won't. What do doctors know anyway? They don't know anything. Did they keep my Ma alive when she died right after she had me? Hell no. They don't know anything."

"You said no one liked me before. Does um-- does that include you or--"

"Yeah, that includes me."

"I think you like me just a little bit. Otherwise you wouldn't have been crying for me."

My eyes open, and I break the promise I made to myself less than five minutes before. Not only did I look into Jimmy's eyes, I plead with him silently to beg for his life. Even though I know in my heart that wasn't going to happen in a million years. Oh no. Jimmy had to show Dokie who the real man was.

Jimmy laughs harder this time, looking from me back to Dokie. "You'd better leave me dead, Doke. 'Cause I'm gonna stick this stump straight down your throat."

Dokie smiles back, "You got it. That's a promise."

I snap into protective mode and quickly intervene. "Take your leg off that keg, Jim. Don't--"

I heard a small wimper escape my throat. All I want to do is be upstairs pissed and trying to ignore him again. At least then he'd be safe and not staring down the blade of an axe at the hands of Dokie Farrell. Did I really just think that? Yeah, I did. Jesus.

Tommy speaks up, "You want to know what happend-- do ya? I want them out of here. This is between the three of us."

Dokie waves his hand, "Sure. But only one's going. Red stays." He sticks the axe blade in my face, "She needs to know what happens to girls who lie for their boyfriends about killing somebody's brother." My eyes are on the blade, and my body is frozen solid. I could actually feel my skin crawling.

Jenny tenses, and takes a step towards me. "Maddie."

I still couldn't move. I must have had a fear of axes that had been supressed throughout my life up until this point. "Everything's alright, Jen. Stay put."

Jimmy grits his teeth and takes a small step forward, but it was Tommy who spoke for him. "Get that thing out of her face right now."

Without taking his eyes off of me, "Don't you think so, Jim? I don't know-- your girlfriend here seems pretty tough. I think she can handle it. It's only a limb, right?"

The fear quickly turns to anger again. For being forced into that basement. For being more pissed and worried about Jimmy at the same time than I'd ever been in my life. And for having a sharp object less than five feet away from my face. "You're one sick son of a bitch, you know that?"

" She's funny too. Who knew you had good taste, Jimmy." Dokie lowers the axe and motions for Jenny to be taken upstairs. Earl starts to guide her by the shoulder but she wouldn't have it. She struggles out of his grasp. "I'm not leaving without her."

My eyes lower to the floor, "It's okay, Jenny. You need to get out of here."

"So do you." Jenny retorts.

I look up at her piercingly trying to get her out as soon as possible. The sooner she left the quicker we'd be out of here. "You heard him. I've gotta stay. Go."

"I leave here alone I call the police."

I shake my head and my voice cracks for the first time. "No, Jenny-- that's not gonna help anything."

Tommy cuts in, "She's not gonna call the police with us down here. Jenny, please. It's okay. Go."

She looks from Tommy to me for approval. When we each gave her reassuring nods, she heads out, but not before giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

I know Jimmy had heard my voice crack when I caught his are you okay look as Jenny was leaving. He rarely looked at me like that because it took alot to shake me up. Even as a kid. But this was one of those times where he knew I was scared and had no control over it. All I knew to do was give him a small nod and make the strength behind the gesture seem genuine. And of course, the minute he looks away from me and his vulnerability was gone, he goes back to being Jimmy.

He put his hands up, "Is someone gonna do something 'cause my leg's gettin' tired."

Dokie turns the axe to Jimmy and Tommy. "Shut your mouth." To Tommy, "And you've got one chance to tell me the truth."

Jimmy's hand shifts slowly to his back pocket. He looks right at me and I knew. He had a gun. I look away from him so it wouldn't seem obvious as Tommy tells Dokie that they had in fact killed someone, but it was because the Italians were coming after them, and it wasn't Huey.

Jimmy reaches into his back pocket, "I've got a cramp." He points the gun straight at Dokey and almost on cue, Tommy begins disabling Earl with blows to the face, and pulls out a gun of his own. This was the most ironic thing ever. I was actually staying out of it while one of the Donnelly brothers was in a fight with someone other than another Donnelly brother. When we were kids, and as of late, I never sat on the sidelines. I was either helping to disable the other person or holding said brother back.

Dokey stares both of them down angirly. "You pull guns on me? You are dead."

Jimmy laughs, "And you were acting so friendly."

I glare at him, not because of what he said, but out of needing to know what to do next. "Jimmy--"

He puts an arm out, "Just stay there. Don't move."

Tommy extends his gun to Dokie. "You want a gun? Take it."

I look over at Tommy frantically. "What? Tommy."

Jimmy rolls his eyes, "Oh, that's real smart Tommy."

Dokie raises the axe and I flinch, thinking he was going to finally use it. "No, I'm cool with my axe Tommy."

Tommy extends his hand with the gun pointed down to me, not taking his eyes off of Dokey. I looked from the gun to Jimmy who nods at me to take it. There was the anger boiling up again. He knew that I hated guns. So did Tommy, but not to the extent that Jimmy did. He really knew. I doesn't bother me seeing one in plain sight when it was being handled by another person-- I mean, come on, I grew up here. But using one? Never again.

I shake my head, looking to the floor. "Hm mm. No way in hell I'm taking it. I don't care if this one hacks me up into little pieces. I'm not taking it. You know I can't. I can't do it."

Tommy hasn't moved and Jimmy is still looking at me to take it. I knew they just wanted me to be able protect myself so we could get out of here, but still. Christ. I had to take it.

I move past Dokie and Tommy hands me the gun. I snap right back to my position. "The safety on or off, Tom?"

Tommy shakes his head, "Safety's off, Mad. Just keep it pointed at the guy on the floor. Don't shoot him unless I say so. Try and hold it steady."

I do what he says. Tommy's voice explaining to Dokie about the kidnapping of Louie Downtown drowns out in my head.

Damn the history to hell. There it was again-- like a tick that just wouldn't quit sucking you dry. Always coming back for just a little bit more. Why do I hate guns? Many people have asked me over the years, including Tommy and even Jenny, and I have the same answer for everyone. That I just don't like them and have no interest ever holding one, let alone learning to use it properly. Jimmy was the only one who knew that answer was bullshit.

Truth was, at sixteen, he's the one who taught me how to use one properly.

Jimmy's hand is on my back, guiding me down the crowded hallway of the high school. "Jimmy, where are we going? I can't miss Phys Ed again, Ms. whats-her-name'll kill me. The bitch already gave me a C last semester."

"You'll only be late, alright? Promise. I just need to find somewhere we can be alone for a minute. Two minutes, tops."

I blush, "It takes you that long, huh?"

He smiles back and into my ear, "If we were gonna do that you'd be skipping the class."

I nudge him and he leads me faster towards the door to the boiler room downstairs. He opens the door for me and closes it behind us. We walk down and hide underneathe the stairwell. He takes out a dirty rag covered with black and brown spots. I look at him with a disgusted expression.

"Jimmy Donnelly, if this another prank that you and Kevin cooked up to gross me out, I'm walking right now."

He shakes his head, looking above us through the gaps to make sure no one was there. "No, no, no. It's nothing like that. I just-- you know with that girl gettin' raped last week a block from the Diner, I got to thinking. You work 'till closin' at twelve Friday and Saturdays.."

I roll my eyes. "I told you I'm not quitting just 'cause of what happend to Danielle Cissoro. Jenny and her Pop need me. Especially those nights."

"Yeah, yeah. I know, you told me before. That's why I got you this."

He unfolds the matty rag and something metal and black is inside. He moves towards the light and I realize it's a gun. "Are you serious? Jimmy, where--"

Barely above a whisper, "Don't worry about where I got it. That's not important. I want you to take it."

He hands over the rag with the small .45 on top and places it in my hands. I could feel them shaking underneathe. "Jimmy, no. I can't take this."

He nods, "Yeah you can. Watch, see--" He takes my hand and shows me how to hold it. "This is the safety. Right now it's on. Means you can't shoot nothin'. When it's off, you can shoot." He moves behind me, and enlaces his arms through mine and holds the gun with me, pointing it straight. "Just hold it like that. Steady. We can drive out somewhere this weekend and I'll bring a target. Dad used to do it with me all the time."

He moves back around me and I hand it back to him. "Keep it until you teach me how to use it, huh? I don't want to walk around with it until I know."

He simply shrugs, takes it from me, and puts it back in his jacket .

I sigh, crossing my arms over my chest. "Jimmy, how many times do I gotta explain to you that I can take care of myself?"

He wraps his arms around my waist and I drape mine over his shoulders. "I know you can. You're tough, I've figured that out by now. But Mads, I'm always gonna worry. I can't be with you all the time. The Cissoro girl was just walking down the street at night and got pulled into an alley." He shakes his head, "There's no way in hell something like that's happening to you. I'd never forgive myself if something like that happend and I wasn't there."

I look at him strangely, "Jimmy, nothing's gonna happen to me."

"You take the trash out at night, you're not paying attention to who's around-- anything could happen. I just want you to be prepared."

I look at the ground, "I don't know, Jimmy. I don't feel right about it. Where would I put it so no one'll see it on me? My Dad catches me with that thing I'm dead."

"Just put it in your back pocket and keep your shirt over it. The apron will cover it up too." He pushes my chin up so that I'm looking at him. "Do this for me, huh? I'll sleep better knowing you've got some kind of protection with you. You don't have to carry it around during the day, just at night when you're working."

"This mean you won't wait for me to get off anymore to walk me home?"

He smiles, "You kiddin' me? And miss out on those fries?" He gets serious, "For when I'm not there, Maddie. Just take it, okay? Please."

I think about it and finally give in. I don't want to take it or learn to use it, but I know I have to have some way of protecting myself. I wasn't stupid. I read the papers. I know what the crime rate in the neighborhood is. I would take it. But I was sure I wouldn't need it.

"That weekend Jimmy did teach her how to use it. He even brought Tommy along who he'd taught a little over a year before. After that, Maddie never had to use the it. She carried it around with her, only at night, for a little over a year before she ever came close. The next year Jimmy was almost nineteen and out of high school. He'd been kicked out halfway through his Senior year for-- well, for several reasons. One's never actually been pin pointed, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, Maddie was still in her Junior year and having more problems than ever with her father, who at that point was known as the Drunk Italian. Seriously, not many people even knew his first name. All you had to say was Drunk Italian and everyone knew who you were talking about. It never seemed to bother Mad. She bailed him out of jail when he called, she picked him up from the hospital after he got stitched or bandaged up from another barfight-- Yeah, it was fucked up and she knew it, but she was always real quiet about it. Jimmy would get steamed up about it sometimes, but Maddie would always be able to tone down the situations with her father. But that's not what bothered Jimmy. What bothered him was something that nobody else knew. That when Maddie's Pop got wasted enough, just enough, he'd take his anger out on her with his fists. It didn't happen alot, but it happend more often than not. That's what bothered Jimmy. Sure, it bothered Maddie too. No one likes being smacked around, even if the person doing it has no clue what they're doing. But she accepted that it happend once in awhile. Until that night..."