NESTING DOLLS II

Grissom eyed Sofia with amusement, "Let's have dinner."

Hours later, Sara lay in bed staring at the ceiling--replaying the day's events in her mind.

She remembered feeling a sharp pain in her chest as she eavesdropped on Grissom and Sofia's intimate conversation. Sara flattened herself against the wall outside of Grissom's office and watched as he strode away with Sofia.

Her thoughts moved to earlier that week, "What do you want from me?" Sara asked Grissom.

"I want to know why you're so angry."

Sara gradually shifted back into reality and felt her heart pump in a slow, fragile rhythm.

Sara threw the bed sheets off of her angrily and stumbled over to the closet. She searched around desperately; throwing things aimlessly around the room. Her eyes glowed as she found what she was looking for.

Sara ran her hands across the smooth leather of her father's old belt. It was one of the few things she still had of her father's. She carefully lifted off her shirt and dragged the long belt across the floor.

Sara let the belt slither back and forth across the carpet for awhile--letting her agony swim to the surface.

Sara raised her right arm back and felt her bicep tighten. Sara closed her eyes tightly, "This one's for you Gris." The sound of the whip cracking into her back rang loudly throughout the apartment. Her jaw clenched as she felt the comforting sting.

Sara looked in the mirror and saw a fresh welt rise in the middle of her slender back.

She stared at the belt. "It's been a long time…" she told it.

--

The next morning, Sara wisped through the crime lab like a shadow. She wore dark clothing to emphasize the way she was feeling inwardly--although no one around her would notice--or care.

She walked quickly passed Grissom's office--severely hoping that he wouldn't see her.

"Sara?" called a voice from his office.

Dammit, Sara thought before stopping dead in her tracks. She waited for a moment before turning around to face Grissom.

"We need to talk," Grissom stated blandly from the doorway.

He gestured with his hand towards the door and Sara reluctantly entered his office.

Sara plopped herself into the seat farthest away from Grissom's desk and stared at the floor as she heard the door close gently behind her. Grissom casually walked by her and took a seat at his desk.

"Sofia mentioned that she saw you standing outside of my office last night. Was there something you wanted to talk about?" he asked.

Sara pursed her lips, "Not any more..."

Silence filled the room for a few tender moments. "I didn't know that you and Sofia were a couple…" Sara said harshly.

Grissom shrugged his shoulders, "Sofia's an intelligent, attractive, young woman Sara."

Sara looked away before Grissom could see the angry tears begin to form in her eyes.

"But, she's not you."

Sara froze for a moment, "Don't. Don't sit there and tell me that I'm your 'everything,' when we both know I'm not what you need."

Sara looked directly into his eyes, "Was everything a lie, Grissom? I told you my darkest secrets--let you see my tears.”

“I guess you just pretended to care."

Sara rose and walked towards the door. "You know what? I'm happy for you and Sofia. You two deserve each other."

Grissom hoisted himself up from the chair and dashed towards the door. He wrapped his hand firmly around the doorknob, "I wasn't pretending, Sara."

"Stop lying to me!" She yelled angrily.

Sara dug her nails into Grissom's fingers as she tried to pry away his hand from the doorknob.

"I'm not letting you leave," Grissom stated seriously.

"Excuse me? What are you going to do, physically restrain me?" Sara asked.

Grissom shook his head, "I would never purposely hurt you, Sara."

"Really? Because you seem to be doing a pretty good job of it!"

Grissom sighed heavily, "Sara, I can't let you walk out this door.”

He paused for a few moments; wondering what to say next.

“Because I know that if I do…there's a chance you'll never come back."