Title: The Low Brass Story (or Bones, Tones, and Sousaphones)

Author: Ninee Kisuragi

Summary: With the arrival of (literally) impossible music, Low Brass and the Mellophones go on a boat adventure to rid the world of this evil music.

Genre: Humor/Parody (parodizing our '06 band show)

DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I own the story. The characters are very similar or exaggerations of the people in these sections. So--you know. Don't steal. :)

A/N: It's random. Deal with it. This story is a giant mix of various conversations we had as a section over the course of the past two years. Wormholes have been added for convenience. Enjoy!

Low brass was bored. That was one sign that could have meant one of two things. Either, a, the apocalypse of the sheep was coming, or, b, they had just received the most boring sheet music known to man. Each and every one of them, from the sousaphones to the tenor saxes, stared in monotone, blank horror at the terrible entity that fate had placed before them on Plexiglas-shielded crapstands. To be specific, twenty-four of them graced each player.

Whole notes.

Tied to more whole notes

And that was it.

For the entire song.

“You have got to be flipping kidding me,” said Kevin, breaking the hollow silence.

“Welcome to my world,” said Matt.

A.Y.’s eye was twitching maniacally. It was scary.

“Well, m-maybe it’s a chorale or something?” attempted Aliena.

“If it’s a chorale, then why the hell does it say ‘Presto’ at the top?” countered Kiera.

“Good point….”

Kaitie looked to the sky for signs of sheep.

Brian clapped his hands. “All right people! Uhh…let’s run through this…or something….”

“There’s not much to run through,” said Kevin. “We play the same B-flat for twenty-four measures straight.”

“We have a C,” said Ashley.

“Your mom has a C.”

Ashley blinked.

“It’s in 6/8,” Tose said.

“Fun,” said Kiera.

“Well let’s run through it just to say we did something and then we can do other things.”

“GODFATHER!” exclaimed Aliena.

“Sure why not. Okay. One, two….” And then Brian started to wave his hands around like an idiot attempting to direct a herd of elephants. Everyone just kind of played B-flat (or C) and continued to play B-flat (or C) until they figured that the song was indeed over.

A.Y. didn’t even make an attempt to play, he was still in a state of mild eye-twitching shock.

“Umm, A.Y., are you okay?” asked Kevin, poking him in the shoulder.

A.Y. turned slowly toward Kevin, still twitching. “Whole notes.” That pretty much summed up the entire atmosphere above low brass at the time being.

Thank goodness nobody saw the trumpets’ reaction. Eric would have probably scared half of the freshmen away when he turned into the Hulk and rampaged upon a vehicle that happened to be Mr. Gund’s car.

The clarinets had whole notes too. As did the snare drums. Sean thought that the whole notes meant “play really loud and roll,” but nowhere did it say “forte and roll.” So he got in trouble.

Little did they know that the Imposter Band Director was on the loose!