Title: Impossible
Word Count: 363
Disclaimer: Don't Own. Don't Sue
Rating: PG
Summary: A "What If"
AN: Before S2. This is from Ashley's POV

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The other girl chose the other way, and she wanted to hate her for it. But she couldn't. It wasn't possible for her to hate the love of her life. Her better half. But she wanted to.

There were days when she just wanted to curl up in bed and forget everything, block out the images that ran laps in her head. At times she considered dropping out of school, or maybe transferring; just so she wouldn't have to see her. Her. Everything was about her. She used to be the reason to get up. Now, she was the reason to stay in bed.

But, never the less, she got up in the mornings, went through her mindless routine alone. Got in her car, drove alone. Went to school, alone. Alone. She hated that word. Almost as much as she wanted to hate the other girl. But again, it wasn't possible.

Her insides did flips whenever she caught glimpse of her. And she could feel the bile rising in her throat when he entered her field of view. That bastard, that had single handedly taken away the only thing she had that made her happy. The only thing, person, she truly loved. He took it and he showed no intention of giving it back.

She sits under a tree during lunch, the only time she gets alone. She's writing absentmindedly in her notebook, worn around the edges but full of meaning. Like herself. She looks up and sees them, laughing like they haven't done anything wrong, like they haven't ripped someone's heart out. Her pen tears its way through a few pages from the pressure she's applying.

I hate you. I hate you. Her mind is screaming at them. But they can't hear her. Almost on instinct, the other girl looks up and they're eyes meet. Suddenly, her mind is screaming a new message, I love you.

She tears her eyes away, hating the intensity of the other's. She storms off to a vacant class to clear her head. She kicks a table in distress and curses softly after impact. Then she hears it. The door has opened.

"Hey Ash...we need to talk."