Tamaki stood outside Kyoya's door, his hand raised as if ready to knock, but he was distracted by sound of his friend's raised voice. He hadn't heard Kyoya curse like that in a long time, and he'd erased from his memory what had happened to the person who'd caused Kyoya to lose his temper in that manner.

He was also very aware that he was one of the few that Kyoya lets live in peace, despite his ability to make his normally very cool friend threaten to kill him at least once a week. Which meant, he had to step lightly here, or else...

The door flew open and Tamaki's eyes widened.

“Kyoya!”

“Tamaki,” Kyoya growled, glaring at him. “What the hell are you doing here? I'm just on my way out.”

“Uh...you...um...”

“Spit it out.”

“You're supposed to...”

“Help you buy a birthday present for Haruhi,” Kyoya sighed, pressing two fingers to his temple. “Right. I forgot. Let's go then.”

“If you're busy, we can go another time,” Tamaki said meekly.

“Do I look busy to you?”

Tamaki didn't even want to think about what he thought Kyoya looked like. He had the feeling that Kyoya would then read his mind and shoot a laser beam with his eyes right through his victim's still-beating heart. That was not how Tamaki wanted to end this day.

Slinging an arm around his friend's shoulders, Tamaki pasted a wide, sparkling smile on his face and beamed it at him. Kyoya's eyes narrowed behind his glasses, and he regarded Tamaki like he would an annoying insect buzzing around his head.

“You look absolutely ready to tackle this challenge,” Tamaki observed cheerfully. “What to get for the woman who has everything she wants? I wish I hadn't been so enthusiastic for the last few years, or had listened so attentively to her every word, because you know what's happened, Kyoya?”

When Kyoya didn't venture a guess, Tamaki powered forward as they walked towards his waiting car.

“Any item or dish that's captured my dear wife's attention is already in her possession!” he cried. “Any vacation or sightseeing tour she's ever wished for, she's already experienced. On top of which, anything else that remotely resembles anything to her taste, I've also procured for her. So really, we've got an formidable quest before us today, my dearest friend. Are you up for it?”

Without acknowledging anything Tamaki said, Kyoya climbed into the car.

“You're up for it!” Tamaki crowed, answering for him before getting in as well.

When a familiar beeping sound cut through the air, Tamaki braced himself. Scowling at nothing in particular, Kyoya pulled out his cell phone to read the email he'd just received. He swore savagely under his breath at what he saw there, causing even Tamaki's driver to glance back at him.

“Trouble at work?” Tamaki asked carefully.

“Nothing I can't handle,” Kyoya said through clenched teeth. “Don't worry about it. Worry about what to get the woman who has everything.”

“Do you have any ideas?”

“She's not my wife.”

“Last birthday, I gave her a romantic, tropical weekend in Fiji. If only she hadn't gotten sick from the crabs, it would have been perfect. I must top that gift,” Tamaki said determinedly.

“It won't be hard to best a gift that involved food poisoning,” Kyoya remarked dryly.

“Think, Kyoya! You always have great ideas for presents! Remember when we got Hunny that pastry shop for his twenty-fifth birthday? He didn't expect it at all! And covering the building in shiny fabric and having him pull a giant red ribbon to reveal the shop was a stroke of genius that only you could have come up with. I don't know why people call you the Ice King, because inside, you're just as sensitive and sentimental as the next person.”

“As long as the next person isn't you, I'll take that as a compliment,” Kyoya said. “And who calls me the Ice King?”

“Nevermind that. Let's brainstorm for ideas.”

“Buy Haruhi some stock of a department store or boutique so she can own her presents before you can even think of them. Consequently, the two of us would also save a lot of time that we would have otherwise spent on these...birthday quests.”

“There is absolutely no sentimentality in that!” Tamaki protested.

“I'm not known for being sentimental,” Kyoya remarked coolly.

“Yes, but you are very good at pretending to be,” Tamaki argued, and then sighed. “At least, you are usually very good at pretending to be. Kyoya, if you don't tell me what's wrong, this will be a wasted day. Who else can you reveal your innermost pain, your heaviest heartache, your deepest troubles, if not to your best friend?”

“If I were experiencing all those things, I would be more than happy to have you share in my misery, but fortunately, this is not nearly that important. A mere annoyance, that is all, concerning a former long-standing partner of my family's.”

“What did they do?” Tamaki asked with the same interest he gave his favorite TV dramas.

A muscle jumped underneath Kyoya's eye. Tamaki crossed his arms over his chest protectively.

“If I answer this one last question, will you stop asking me about this? I don't want to talk about it anymore.”

“I swear on my daughter's life, I will stop asking questions,” Tamaki intoned somberly.

“I didn't ask for something nearly that important, but that's , they have decided to cut ties with the Otori Group and have signed a contract with one of our biggest rivals. If there is one thing I hate, it is fickle loyalties. To add insult to injury, I've already spent billions of yen preparing for the unveiling of our newest rehabilitation center—a center constructed with their aid, so it would be in poor form to rescind the invitation,” Kyoya said angrily.

“'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much',” Tamaki quoted. “That's from Oscar Wilde, and such a prolific writer would only give sound advice. Go to the unveiling, be your usual charming self, and show them that the Otori Group can go on without them, that it is all water under the bridge. Your graciousness and your calm benevolence will shame them, and make them regret that they've left the warm, comforting shelter of the Otori family.”

“Tamaki,” Kyoya said carefully. “Of course, the Otori Group can go on without them. We're not a fledgling firm that is dependent on poorly managed corporations, and I will not arrive at an important event looking like a petulant child. But I also don't want to forgive them. I want vengeance.”

Tamaki's eyes widened. Kyoya smiled humorlessly, reminding him of the shark he'd watched on TV, circling an injured seal.

“Don't you want to annoy them a little bit?” he tried.

“I want to destroy them.”

Even though Tamaki was pushed up against the door in an instinctivel move to get away from danger, and the driver started driving a little faster to get them both out of the car, Kyoya seemed to brighten after saying that. He put his phone away and turned to face Tamaki with a less terrifying expression on his face. Others would probably still be on the edge because Kyoya was Kyoya, after all, but for Tamaki, it was as if the world was once again right-side up. Less-terrifying Kyoya was much more pleasant to be around than...he didn't dare put a name to that particular side of Kyoya. There was the constant threat of that laser beam to think about.

“Now, that aside, let's discuss your options,” Kyoya said, taking out a pad and paper from his pocket. “To save time and to avoid wandering aimlessly, let's make a list of the presents you have given her. By process of elimination, you'll have your bothersome present.”

“An absolutely brilliant idea, Kyoya!” Tamaki exclaimed. “I knew I could count on you! Even when your mind is preoccupied with matters of great importance to your family's livelihood, you still make the time for me. I knew you weren't a Selfish Prince of Darkness, like I've heard others say.”

“Yes, great. Talk,” Kyoya said, pen poised and ready to go. “And who calls me that?”

“Nevermind. Okay, let's see. The first birthday we spent together, I bought her a...”

-fin-