Hinamori’s Cookies

By: Twilight's Blade

Disclaimer: I obviously don’t own Bleach if the word disclaimer is here.

Full Summary: Hitsugaya has been treating Hinamori awfully: teasing, spreading rumors, just among a few. Now Hinamori wants her revenge, and she plans on getting it with his stomach. But when Byakuya becomes addicted to those special cookies, Renji refuses to keep his secret. And with the captain's very future now on the brink of a downfall, Renji will do anything to make sure he gets what he wants.

No main pairings, though hints at some. Some OOC, I’m sure.

Chapter one: Chocolate

Paperwork Day presided once more, and no one was excited. Once a week, looming stacks of papers clouded over each shinigami’s desk. The most disdain to this day was Abarai Renji, who, much to his captain’s displeasure, came late, always well equipped with an intricate story to excuse himself. Today was no exception.

“G’ mornin’, taichou,” Renji yawned, bowing. Byakuya looked up from his work, minutely irritated.

“Why are you late again, Renji?” he questioned. The red head sighed inwardly. He knew his captain well enough to tell when he was displeased, despite how little he chose to show it. Renji felt as if his awareness had all but increased within the last few days; he and Byakuya’s “silent arguments” with each other were becoming more frequent: annoyed glares here, burning scowls there (at least on Renji’s part), and nothing short of subtle eye rolls, shrugs, and sighs at comments for reasons neither could really understand. Renji suspected it had something to do with the harsh increase in paperwork over the past few weeks now beginning to take its toll on their sanity, but it didn’t stop him from being much more agitated with his captain than usual.

He turned his attention to the small white box in his hands with his name neatly handwritten on it. Maybe I should just tell the truth this time. It’s not all that good of an excuse, though. But hell, if I give him anymore stories, he’ll start trying to snap my neck with his reiatsu--

“Renji,” Byakuya announced coolly. “I do not have all day to sit here and listen to the ridiculous story you are no doubt creating. Tell me why you were late and then proceed with your work.” Renji caught the restrained impatience in his voice. He rolled his eyes, the sudden urge to punch him gripping his fingers. One time was all he wanted to have Byakuya follow his command. The vice captain sighed, choosing not to stare at his captain as he gave his excuse. Like that would happen.

“Unohana-taichou and Hinamori-fukutaichou have been baking and selling cookies in the morning. I went to buy some before they ran out.” Byakuya was silent for a bit before his gaze returned to the papers on his desk.

“Is that all?”

Renji’s fingers twitched. He wanted to say “Maybe if you weren’t such a stuck up asshole it wouldn’t matter as much,” but instead, he took a small breath and sarcastically added, “They’ve stopped selling for today, in case you got your hopes up.” Byakuya glared up at him, but Renji was already making his way towards his desk, back turned and snickering. His eyes followed him until he reached his seat, in which time Byakuya’s unconscious death grip on his brush softened. Deciding that it was too early for any form of bickering, he turned his attention back to his paperwork.

Minutes later, the captain’s ears twitched to a crunching sound, disturbing the aching silence of the room. Soon after, the aroma of melted chocolate wavered beneath his nose. The sight of a rather large chocolate chip cookie breaking off into Renji’s mouth suddenly hypnotized him. He blinked and gulped unconsciously, chocolate oozing from the cookie’s center. He gaped as Renji took yet another bite, and if it wasn’t for the brush beginning to slip from his grasp, he would not have regained focus. Now slightly perturbed, he straightened up, tightened his grip, and stared back down to his paperwork, only to notice it covered with various wet spots.

The captain nearly choked in surprise. Grabbing for the tissues that sat atop his desk, he hastily dried his mouth, and then tried for the paper, which proved futile. I…couldn’t have been drooling. No, not drool…sweat, perhaps? Yes. Sweat. Nothing to worry about. Glancing at Renji, who so gloriously failed to take any notice of Byakuya’s mishap, he was more than reassured. But concentrating on the work became increasingly difficult. Tightening his fists, reading and rereading the documents, or when that failed, forcing his mind to wander over issues completely unrelated to the sixth division or the cookies: all methods in which failed in diverting his attention. Desperation—was that what it was, now beginning to gnaw at his senses?—was certainly seizing control.

Crr—nncchh

Byakuya stiffened. The aroma took his nose hostage as he forced down gulps and fought to ignore his hunger. Perhaps this was how Kenpachi felt before a battle: heart racing, fingers twitching, his entire body itching with anticipation. Yet being compared to that brash fool annoyed him to no end, and he shook the comparison from his mind. Another sporadic crunch occurred, causing Byakuya to lick his lips, his eyes briefly and unconsciously fluttering.

It wasn’t until Renji decided to take his eyes off of the monotony of the paper’s script that Byakuya was able to control himself, writing again and using all of his might to force away a blush. He raised an eyebrow, sensing that something with his captain was off, and noting the shift in reiatsu from the moment he glanced up. Urgently needing fresh air and aware that Renji’s inquisitive gaze hadn’t yet shifted focus, Byakuya stood abruptly and excused himself from the office. The red head remained silent, shrugging once he left the room and eating another cookie.

Byakuya hurriedly left the office, making his way to a nearby lounge room to gather his thoughts. No one else was around, so he busied himself with the task of making tea, releasing a breath of tension he hadn’t realized he was holding. Why did I have such an overpowering desire for those cookies? He poured hot water into a mug, jumping as his jumbled thoughts jumbled his movements, hot water splattering onto his hand. He closed his eyes and sighed. I could just barely contain myself…What exactly is going on?

For a split second, an image came to mind of the younger Yoruichi triumphantly standing beside him while he held his stomach and leaned against the wall, sickened.

When had this taken place? He racked his mind for similar images, but could not find any, nor a possible context. Frustrated, he sipped the last of his tea and turned back to the door. Taking a confident breath, he strode back into the office, flinching subtly once inhaling. Ignoring Renji’s staring, he sat down and began writing.

Maybe he could do this. There would be a break, though it was a long time from now. But all he had to do was focus on the paperwork and ignore anything cookie-related. He had control over himself. He was sane. He could do this.

His stomach rumbled and Byakuya panicked.

He couldn’t do this.

Luckily for him, Renji seemed not to have noticed, and the captain quickly regained his composure, despite his shivering at the crunch of yet another cookie. Byakuya decided to ignore the fact that it would be another three hours before lunch break. Another crunch, and he bit his lip, shifting uncomfortably. No, he decided. There was no way possible that he would even be able to survive.

xxxxxxxxxx

“Hinamori-san, I don’t believe you should do that,” Unohana said, cleaning up the fourth division’s kitchen alongside Hinamori. She grabbed a paper towel and wiped the counter clean. “I’m sure there’s an understandable reason for his rather rude behavior toward you recently.”

“Oh really?” the young girl smugly asked, leaning against a wall with her arms folded. “So are you suggesting that there is a plausible reason for his sudden hatred of me?!”

Unohana stopped her cleaning to give her a chastising glare. “You and I both know very well that Hitsugaya Toushirou does not hate you. He cares about you very much.”

“Che, yeah, that’s why he blatantly ignored my birthday. It’s not like he forgot. We’ve know each other for decades! I bet it’s because he doesn’t care about me anymore.” She pouted, closely resembling a six year old on the verge of a temper tantrum. “It’s always ‘Hinamori, I’m busy, so let me work in peace’ or `Dear Kami, your stupidity is clouding my working space!’ or ‘Matsumoto was drunk again, so I have to do her paperwork again, so don’t bother me with your worthless presence!’ or ‘Hinamori, you baka! Do you know how long it took me to file those? And now you’ve gone and spilled juice on them? Go the hell away!’ And that’s only if he is forced to talk to me at all!”

Unohana said nothing. Bountiful were the rumors spreading around the Soul Society about Hitsugaya’s sudden flash of rage towards his childhood friend. Now that some of those comments had left Hinamori’s own lips, she was a bit hesitant on what to say to comfort her. Hopefully, the boy wasn’t taking things too far. She glanced away from Hinamori, finding herself caring about the rumors a bit more than necessary. As long as she or her beloved were not involved, she could care less. But life joys must be waited for patiently, and she would do anything to edge her toward her goal.

Hinamori stuck her nose in the air, taking the woman’s silence as defeat. “Hitsugaya-kun hates me. That’s why he’s constantly shooed me away for the past two weeks, that’s why rumors are flying around about him gossiping about me, that’s why he runs in the other direction every time he sees me, that’s why he spat in my face last week, that’s why he gives me disgusted looks when forced to look at me, that’s why he’s creating lies to embarrass me, that’s why he didn’t recognize my birthday yesterday, and that’s why I want my revenge.” She stood up and began packing her up her things.

“Hinamori-san, you’re being quite irrational, don’t you think? I just know there is a reason to justify his mistreatment of you. Why don’t you try and talk to him?” She looked at her pleadingly, as if begging the girl for her kindness. Hinamori closed her eyes and stuck up her nose once more with a slight ‘hmph’.

“I would,” she began, placing her hands on her hips indignantly, “but he wouldn’t dare listen. Besides, I’d rather be creative. I’m sick of being known as the innocent ‘Bed Wetter Momo’. This time, he’ll see why he shouldn’t mess with me. He’s just gone too far.” Realization popped into her head as she remembered to get a plastic bag from the shelf, along with scissors. “Would you be so kind, Unohana-taichou, as to lend me some of your precious hair?”

Unohana recoiled. “I won’t. I refuse to help you with revenge. If you need me to bake more cookies for you, though, I’ll be happy to.” Hinamori sighed.

“If you say so, Unohana-taichou,” she mimicked playfully, waving the scissors in the air as she spoke. She bowed, taking her leave from the fourth division headquarters to find a willing participant. It doesn’t matter. There are plenty others that will contribute, she thought with a wry smirk. I swear, I will make Toushirou pay!

Unohana shook her head as the girl left. As long as she doesn’t slice off my beloved’s hair, it won’t matter what she does.

xxxxxxxxxx

Two and a half hours had passed, but to Byakuya, it was a lifetime.

Was fresh air too much to ask for?

If he didn’t leave that office soon, Byakuya was sure that he would loose it and snatch a treat from Renji’s grasp. He’d been fidgeting in his seat, gulping in anticipation, and sweating persistently since he’d walked back into the room. It was a miracle that Renji hadn’t noticed, or at least pretended as if he hadn’t. Once in that span of time, he questioned the consequences in asking for a cookie. Was pride really that important? ...Yes, yes it was. Regrettably, he’d have to find some other way to get his hands on one. He just needed a taste, just one tiny sample of that chocolate to calm his jittery nerves. But how? There were no more to be sold for the day. And if he questioned his ability to go another half hour without those god-forsaken cookies, then he would be damn near suicide if he had to wait another twenty four hours. Okay, maybe not close to suicide, but definitely a danger to himself.

He. Needed. A. Cookie. Damnit. Byakuya anxiously glanced at the clock. Twenty four minutes until his senses were granted their long overdue freedom.

Suddenly, an idea popped into his head, but he immediately cursed it. An act like that was savage, and he wasn’t born a noble to have such thoughts. But it was the only scheme he had, and desperation urged him on more and more by the second. He would probably regret it later, but it was a chance he had to take save any more…dangerous outcomes occurred. Coincidentally, Renji had excused himself to use the bathroom. Once he was sure he was out of earshot, Byakuya virtually dashed over to his desk, eying the white box longingly. Unable to stop from licking his lips, he opened the box—only to be met with a nasty surprise.

They were gone. Renji had eaten every last cookie in the box. Even the crumbs had disappeared. Byakuya stared at the box incredulously, clenching his fist angrily. Now what was he going to do? The hunger was becoming extreme, and his stomach responded with a loud growl. All he wanted was a small taste, just to satisfy his craving. Oh, how badly he wanted it…

The door opened and Byakuya froze. Renji stared curiously. “Eh? What are you doing, taichou? Did you want to--”

“Do not get the wrong idea,” he interrupted. “I was merely disposing of your trash. Garbage lying around is unsightly.” He closed the box, threw it away, and left for lunch break. Renji stared at him as he left, and once he did, snickered softly. You can’t fool me with that. You wanted a cookie, didn’t you? I saw the hungry look in your eyes when I walked in. And even for you, I can’t see how an ordinary white box is ‘unsightly.’ He walked out of the office, staring down the hallway at his captain as he headed outside. A devious grin formed. Don’t think I’ll let you get away that easily, taichou.

xxxxxxxxxx

Somehow, the slightly nippy mid-March breeze calmed him more than any of Unohana’s sedates could have. He had actually made it three hours without any chocolate and everyone’s limbs were still intact. Not that he was planning on hurting anyone for a taste if he had been driven that far. No…of course not. But he was more than grateful to be out of that office. Despite Renji’s comment, Byakuya decided to head for the fourth division, in hopes that maybe there were some left behind cookies that had yet to be sold. It couldn’t hurt to try, and at this point, he was ready for anything. He just prayed his red headed vice captain hadn’t guessed his true motive for opening that box, or he would never hear the end of it. Sensing familiar reiatsu, he stopped walking. Seconds later, Hinamori appeared before him, quickly bowing.

“Good afternoon, Kuchiki-taichou,” she said gleefully. “I apologize for the disturbance, but I was requested by Kurotsuchi-taichou to retrieve a hair sample from each of the captains. Is it possible that I snip a bit of your hair for the purpose of his experiment?” Hinamori kept her face as straight as possible, knowing her story sounded ridiculous and that the sixth division captain would question anything he thought to be foul play.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow. “What, exactly, is he planning on doing with my hair in this experiment?” He would never admit it aloud, but he treasured his hair dearly. He hated wearing that kenseikan; it left rather hideous imprints that would not come out unless washed and thoroughly combed. He wasn’t about to let just anyone take and manipulate his hair, and truthfully, few people were ever fond of the outcomes of Mayuri’s experiments.

Hinamori shrugged lightly. “He didn’t give me the details.”

“And why are you taking orders from him if he is not your captain?” Hinamori paused for a moment. She had been expecting further questioning, especially from him, but that part of her story had yet to be formed.

“W-Well…it’s more like a favor, really…I…promised to pay him back for something he did for me awhile back, and this is…how I…am.” She looked away when she spoke, too afraid that any other movements would throw her plan off. Byakuya, however, wasn’t going to take any chances. He did not want to admit later on that he inadvertently played a role in blowing up half of the Seireitei.

“I refuse.” He stated simply, beginning to leave. Hinamori was thrown off, but wasn’t about to give up.

“Please, Kuchiki-taichou? Just a little bit?” she pleaded, following him. Byakuya ignored her and began to head down the stairs. Hinamori thought frantically about something she could use as leverage, something, anything.

“I’ll give you my special chocolate chip cookies if you do!” she said, pulling a small plastic bag out of her hakama. Byakuya stopped short when he heard this. He tried to breathe calmly in an attempt to stop his heart from leaping out of his chest. His mouth began to savor again, and before he knew it, he had turned around and let a `Very well’ escape his lips.

Hinamori smiled as she cut a small bit off the ends. “Arigatou, Kuchiki-taichou,” she said, placing the hair in a plastic bag before bowing and leaving. Though he didn’t trust her intentions in the slightest, Byakuya suddenly lost interest. Instead, he eagerly stared at the bag, saliva trailing from his mouth. He glanced around quickly, checking for anyone else’s presence. Then, he practically flash stepped back up to the balcony and leaned on the wall that was out of view from the main entrance, ripping that bag open and stuffing the cookies down his throat.

Seconds later, he blissfully leaned his head back on the wall. There was no doubt that they would be delicious, but never had he imagined the waves of pleasure shooting through his nerves with every bite. Never had he eaten anything that tasted so perfect. Why hadn’t he tasted chocolate in all these years? The smell…the texture…the flavor…describing those cookies as heaven would be an understatement. He never thought he would succumb to a food, a dessert no less, so willingly, but Byakuya couldn’t help but feel lost in the ecstasy of the flavor. His eyes fluttered in delight and he swallowed, licking his lips. Chocolate oozed onto his fingers and he licked them hungrily, shivering and grinning with satisfaction. The cookies were incredibly invigorating. Delectable, luscious, mouth-watering…every word he could think of to describe them popped into his head. He reached into the bag for another one and frowned when he realized that he’d eaten them all. He wanted more—no, he needed more…they were so good. But he forced himself to ignore his yearning and suffice for what he had, as it was pure chance he’d gotten cookies in the first place.

There was another split second flashback, this time of an annoyed younger Byakuya standing with his arms folded as Yoruichi danced around him in a circle, taunting him and eating something that he couldn’t quite make out. The younger Kuchiki heir was staring intently at it, biting his lip in restraint and frustration. He sighed, confused as to why he was having flashbacks of old memories that he couldn’t recall of his own free will. But before Byakuya could ponder the matter much longer, his eyes flitted apprehensively. He turned, scanning the area quickly enough to make the air sizzle. But unlike he had detected, there was no one around.

Was that Renji’s reiatsu just now? Byakuya panicked. If he had seen his little display of primitive behavior…No, I’m imagining things. If Renji had been here, I would have sensed it long ago. Reassuring himself and calming down, he wiped the crumbs off of his face and headed for his favorite spicy food restaurant, hoping to take his mind off of chocolate. Unfortunately for Byakuya, Renji had been there. But his chocolate high prevented him from sensing Renji until he finished, at which point Renji fled.

Meanwhile, about two miles away, Renji had stopped his flash step and caught his breath, collapsing into an outrageous fit of laughter. Others stared at him as he rolled around on the ground in hysterical mania for no apparent reason. He wiped a few tears from his eyes, gathering himself after a few minutes. It didn’t take long to realize that if the rest of the Seireitei found out about this, they would be laughing just as hard. This was exactly what he needed to mortify the always-held-in-high-perfection Kuchiki Byakuya, his chance to gain the power and respect from him he felt he deserved. Now all he had to get was proof.

xxxxxxxxxx

Hinamori’s confidence was growing rapidly. With the exception of Kurotsuchi (because she was too scared to see what he looked like with out the Halloween costume, as he probably had it on for a reason) and Unohana, she had managed to get a hair clipping from each of the captains, as well as toe nail clippings from the vice-captains. The perfect accessories, she thought, for an evil Hitsugaya-kun’s mouth. Speaking of which… A few feet away, she spotted him speaking with Matsumoto. Her eyes narrowed, but she remembered what Unohana had said to her. Maybe it was worth a try. “Oi! Hitsugaya-kun!” Hitsugaya and Matsumoto looked up. He shuddered in disgust.

“Go away, Hinamori,” he said sharply, turning his back to her. “Don’t you see I’m in the middle of an important conversation?”

“Yes, but--”

“So then shut up! When will you understand that I want nothing more to do with you?” He turned back around and pushed her out of his away, hard enough to make her fall to the ground. Tears began to well up in her eyes and she gave Matsumoto a pleading glance, wondering why she was standing by and allowing him to treat her like this.

“But Hitsugaya-kun--”

“Leave me the hell alone!” he thundered, glaring at her icily as his reiatsu began to rise. Hinamori’s eyes widened in horror as she stared at him, but she held the tears back and eyed him with equal rage.

“Fine then, Hitsugaya Toushirou! You’ll be lucky if you ever hear from me again!” It was Hitsugaya’s turn to be surprised.

“Hina--” Before he could call out to her, she was gone. He looked down and sighed deeply. Maybe this was a bad idea…

Matsumoto stared at where the girl had stood, and then turned to her captain. “I think you went too far this time, taichou.”

He looked up and sighed again, folding his arms. “That’s what I’m worried about. I thought maybe if I treat her mean and surprise her with a party, well, the party would be more of a surprise. But she’s far beyond the point of taking this seriously and I’m worried…she might do something completely irrational.”

Matsumoto placed her hands on her hips. “Well what did you expect? For her to just take it all in? Especially since you guys have been so close and then you go and treat her like that?!”

Hitsugaya stared at his vice captain, astounded that she was trying to put him in his place. “I know that, it’s just not going as I planned it to and…”

“…And you want the best for her,” Matsumoto finished.

Hitsugaya blinked. “Hold on! That’s not what I--”

“Oh, taichou, you’re so cute when you’re in denial!” Matsumoto suddenly exclaimed, pulling the boy into her bosom. At the last second, he squirmed away.

“Matsumoto!”

The woman pouted, folding her arms. “I don’t understand what you’re so mad about. It’s quite obvious that you’re in love with her, despite all of your outrageous denials. Besides, everyone knows--”

“I’m what?!” He repeated, his eyes widening. But before the buxom woman could respond, the captain’s attention shifted. There was still the problem of where exactly he was going to have this party, and one of his options was walking on the block nearby. “We’ll finish this later, Matsumoto,” he ended sternly, making his way toward Byakuya. She was left in a helpless stupor as she eyed the captains beginning their conversation. She shook her head. When are you going to accept it, taichou?

A half block away, Byakuya thought silently. He wasn’t quite sure he was fond of having a party thrown on his estate that hadn’t anything to do with him in the slightest, but he allowed the younger captain to elaborate.

“As you may know, Hinamori’s birthday was yesterday,” he began.

“The same one who I hear you have been treating rather rudely, if I’m not mistaken.” Hitsugaya was slightly taken aback. Words traveled fast around the Seireitei, it seemed.

“Yeah, well, there’s a reason behind that…I was wondering, if it’s not too much trouble, if I could hold her surprise party at your house.” Byakuya didn’t respond. “I know it’s short notice, but Matsumoto,” he shot her an antagonizing glance, in which she mouth an annoyed ‘what?’, “is extremely unreliable when it comes to doing her work sometimes, and I had so much catching up to do myself that I forgot to find a place for a party. I had everything planned out, but I guess that part slipped from my mind…” His voice trailed off.

Normally, Byakuya would have declined, or at least, the possibility for him to was much higher. But this case was entirely different. This was Hinamori Momo, that god-send of a shinigami that gave him those irresistible cookies. Sure it was a pretty irrational hope, to believe that maybe she would do something for him when the party came to pass, but if there was a chance he got chocolate, Byakuya could care less how exactly he got it.

“Very well,” he said finally.

“R-Really?” Hitsugaya asked, surprised he’d agreed so easily. Byakuya nodded. Maybe she would make him a special batch of cookies, oozing with chocolate and with enough sugar to cause even Yachiru to faint. He could nearly taste it, but he quickly refocused on the conversation before his thoughts got the best of him.

“I assume three days is enough time to organize the party?” Byakuya nodded once more. “I’m sure this is the last thing she is expecting…or anyone else for that matter.”

“No one else knows?”

Hitsugaya shook his head. “Matsumoto and Retsu only. I couldn’t risk the surprise to be ruined. I just want Hinamori to have a good time…” His voice was low and juvenile when he said this, and if the elder captain hadn’t known better, he would have sworn he saw a small blush appear on the younger’s face. “Anyway,” he continued, straightening up, “the rest will find out later today. I couldn’t say anything if I didn’t have a location. Well, thanks.” He waited shortly for a response, and when he received none, he guessed it was safe to leave. He and Matsumoto walked away, temporarily forgetting about their prior argument.

The image of freshly baked cookies replayed in his mind over and over again, invoking a small lick of his lips, the flavor now replaying itself on his tongue. Great. Now Hinamori’s name would make him hungry. Maybe spicy wouldn’t do the trick today after all.

xxxxxxxxxx

Hinamori barged into her division’s main office, slamming doors hard enough to produce fault lines within themselves. That damn Hitsugaya…I swear he’ll pay! I will not let him make me look like a blubbering idiot! She snatched a note pad off her desk and began writing.

Ingredients for Hinamori’s Special Chocolate Chip Cookies (Hitsugaya-style):

-20 cups of chocolate chips

-35 cups of brown sugar

-5 cups of butter

-5 teaspoons of salt

-5 cups of all purpose flour

-9 eggs

-6 teaspoons of baking soda and powder

-10 teaspoons of vanilla extract

These were the ingredients she normally put in her cookies, although for her silver haired friend, extremely exaggerated. Of course, the real fun began with the next set of things she would add.

-shredded bits of hair from nearly all captains in the Seireitei

-minced toenail clippings from all vice captains

-10 cups of super effective chocolate laxatives

-five three month old tomatoes

-some rotten eggs

-pus from the huge pimple Ichigo had on his forehead last week

-a concoction from Kurotsuchi that she was sure wasn’t poisonous or blow up

-snot from Ukitake-taichou’s cold

-the refresher ink for Renji’s tattoos

Hinamori sighed and stopped writing. She couldn’t think of anything else to add to make him suffer. That would have to be enough. She smiled to herself.

For now, that is.

End of chapter one

A/N: I have edited this too many times, I think. Oh well. Just as long as it is better, I suppose it doesn’t matter much. Thank you for reading.

~TB