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She just couldn't bring herself to talk to him after what she had done. She had tried to sort things out, to make it better, and all she did was make it ten times worse. Lying to him about it afterwards made it even harder to face. As time went on, it would just make it worse, if that was possible, but Dormé didn't know that and thought it might be forgotten.
Dormé had not thought to ask the medical team to keep her visit private, as she was too consumed with her actions and the possible consequences of them. It would be another thing she would regret, but ultimately be thankful for. At least that mistake would make the rest of them and the reasons behind them come to light and sort this mess out.
Anakin turned away, deciding it was best he found out for himself what was going on and it was obvious Dormé wasn't about to fill him in. Returning to the medlabs, Anakin promptly demanded to speak to the physician.
The doctor was about to end his day and was startled to see the emperor as he wasn't one who voluntarily entered unless it pertained to Dormé or their children.
Anakin didn't mince words and promptly demanded to know just why Dormé was in the medical labs. 'Is something wrong? Is there something I should know about?' he frantically asked as the elderly physician furrowed his brow in confusion.
'No, your wife is perfectly healthy, Lord Vader. She only stopped by to inquire about a pregnancy test,' he smoothly replied.
Anakin's eyes lit up at the possibility though he was hurt to know that Dormé was keeping this from him. 'And? Is she?' he eagerly asked, feeling his heart race with joy.
The elderly physician just shook his head as he skimmed through his data pads, mistaking Anakin's eagerness to be concern. 'You'll be pleased to know that she isn't,' the elderly doctor stated, figuring that Anakin shared Dormé's wish not to have a child at this time. 'We took the necessary precautions to ensure she wasn't—'
Anakin grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing the man to look him straight in the eyes. 'What do you mean "we took necessary precautions?"' the emperor frantically demanded. His expression was a look of desperation and fury.
The physician frowned in reply, obviously not appreciating this treatment at all. 'Your wife wanted to ensure that there was no possible way she could be pregnant, so we gave her a medicinal that would ensure it would not come to pass,' the elderly man stated in firm and polite tones. 'I was of the assumption that you already knew this,' he continued in dry tones.
Anakin's eyes wavered as the weight of the doctors words sank in. He didn't have to ask why Dormé had gone out of her way to ensure no child could have come from their night together, for the answer was clear enough. Furious at the fact the physician didn't try to talk her out of it and heartbroken that his wife would feel it necessary to protect any future children from him, Anakin fell back into habits of old. Without further warning, he grabbed the old man by the throat and slammed him against the wall of his office. It didn't take long for the dark side to course through his veins again as the fallen Jedi growled at the doctor in sorrow filled rage. 'Why? Why did you do it?' he shouted.
The elderly man, though frightened, was able to keep a stoic face. 'She wasn't pregnant, Vader... She took the medicinal to ensure that she wouldn't be just in case the tests proved inaccurate!' he said while struggling to breathe. The man explained that because it was too early to tell if there was a possibility for the future—as one usually needed to wait a couple of days for results—she requested the medicinal. However as Anakin's grip tightened around his throat much of this was lost.
Anakin swiftly released his grip on the doctor before forcing his thoughts clear of the darkness that once flooded it. The familiar headache followed as well as dizziness a good sign that was missed on the fallen Jedi who stared at the doctor with eyes blurry now with tears.
'Can you really blame her?' the elder physician replied quietly once he had caught his breath.
Anakin said nothing in reply as he swallowed hard and swiftly departed.
He had to talk to someone. Anakin knew he should talk to his brother—to admit that he almost used the dark side again—but that could wait. He didn't want to see Obi-Wan when he was falling apart like this. He would wait until morning when he was more himself—if that was even possible now. As he stormed through the hallways back to his chambers, the former Sith Lord was at a loss over all the events. If she hadn't wanted any children, if she was so frightened that he would impregnate her, why did she sleep with him? Was this some sort of game? A means of showing him that she too could lie and betray? Just as you did to her,a dark voice whispered causing his heart to sink to his feet.
All hope he had from the night before had long since faded away and now Anakin was certain their relationship was doomed. The emperor just couldn't get over the fact that Dormé would be so disgusted with him that she would end go to such lengths to ensure he wouldn't father another child. Torn between anger over her actions and sorrow at the meaning behind them, Anakin worked himself into quite a state when he finally departed for the training hall. He wanted to return to his quarters but it held too many confusing memories now and the last thing he wanted was to further dwell on it.
However with an unexpected and unexplainable turn of events, the emperor had taken to holing himself away in the now empty grand halls. The empress's illness and overall poor state of health had given Kei a chance to speak to his estranged wife Edeja. It was bittersweet and awkward but at the same time well worth it. Though things between them were far from perfect, but they were slowly mending their relationship and recently, Edeja and their son had finally returned home.
But as Kei's eyes settled onto the form of his old friend and emperor, he knew without question things weren't going nearly as well with the Sith Lord. Though he was aware of Anakin's recent rehabilitation and training with his brother, Master Kenobi Kei was guarded about the entire situation. He had seen too much to believe in miracles anymore and despite being aware of Anakin's healing condition and obvious shift of mood Kei was hesitant to be around him. Not out of fear for himself, rather out of fear for his family and the security of his people. Less time spent with the unstable emperor meant less chance of speaking his mind and losing it all.
Anakin took notice of him and gave a curt nod.
'I trust you've been updated on the security situation?' Kei began politely as he tried to ignore the emperor's red, swollen eyes.
For the moment, Anakin was keeping a stoic expression and Kei hoped it would remain that way. While he wanted to be supportive of his friend, as of late, it was a struggle to look at Anakin and not see the mass graves filled with bodies of adults and younglings alike.
Anakin nodded and sighed deeply before tossing the data pad he was holding in his augmented hand onto the table. 'Just what I need right now: more complications,' he remarked in soft but frustrated tones. 'But given how my day has been going, I'm not surprised,' Vader continued before motioning Kei to join him at the table.
The one thing Kei rather liked about the war room was that there were no chairs to sit on. While it was uncomfortable, it ensured the meetings would never be longer than necessary. He hoped this would also be the case today.
'So you have more news for me?'
Kei just shook his head as he took a look at the data pads at hand. 'No, just looking for further updates,' he admitted while grabbing one that appeared to be the latest piece of information that the Imperial intelligence had collected. Though Anakin had drastically cut back on his duties, Kei couldn't deny that he wasn't grateful to see the emperor was finally returning to them. Kei could hold his own, but he was hesitant to assert authority or reach any decision without the emperor's direct knowledge, despite Anakin's assurances that so long as the empress was in agreement with it, he would support all of Kei's decisions. Kei was extremely careful about everything he did and got involved with and did his best to play up on Lady Dormé's wish to mend matters with the public. He knew it was fruitless cause as the people were tired of words and were now demanding action, but at the same time, he couldn't deny that this was a good sign. It would seem the empress and emperor—goddess willing—was finally realizing the consequences of their selfish actions. If this was indeed the case, Kei and his wife were both in agreement that they would do whatever they could to help them clean up the mess they had made; not for anything than for the sake of their children, lest they suffer the consequences of their parent's actions.
'Outside of the usual mess, I have found nothing more that might shed a more positive light on our situation,' Anakin admitted as he rested his hands against the table and leaned slightly on them.
Kei nodded as he furrowed his brow while skimming through the information on the pad that held nothing that he didn't already know. The people were getting restless and the polls showed their faith in their leaders were wavering. Of course this was hardly an accurate assessment as Kei knew it was in truth a lot worse than it appeared. For there was few who would openly dare question the imperial family, nevermind submit their thoughts to a public poll about it. As Kei felt the emperors gaze settling on him, the prince knew that for the moment there were other pressing matters on Anakin's mind.
'How are things going between Edeja and yourself?' Anakin asked in quiet concern.
The question normally would have encouraged a teasing joke as that was how he always handled awkward situations, but Vader looked too serious for that and Kei immediately knew what that meant. Great goddess this is going to be painful isn't it? he thought to himself with an inward sigh. 'Better, not great, but I'm still in one piece so that's a good sign I think,' Kei said with a wry smile.
Anakin chuckled as he shook his head. 'I wish I could say the same,' Anakin admitted
Kei wasn't familiar with the details pertaining to Anakin and Dormé's relationship and the precarious state it was in, but knew enough to know that it was complicated to say the least. 'Have you tried to talk to her yet?' Kei offered, knowing that Anakin most likely didn't listen or take heed his advice from before.
The emperor nodded, but then promptly shook his head before waving his hand as he uttered a Huttese curse. 'Yes, no, maybe I don't know. None of it makes sense and right now, I have no idea where I stand, where she stands, or where to go with it all,' he said with a deep sigh as he glanced away.
Kei raised a brow uncertain what to make of this as he placed the pad back onto the table. 'Dare I ask?' Kei foolishly began
The emperor furrowed his brow and fell silent for a moment. 'She came by my quarters last night and we talked, but didn't talk, if that makes sense,' Anakin began.
Kei just nodded, knowing from experience how such things went.
'And that's about when things got confusing. One minute she's asking if she can rest with me, the next she tells me she needs her space, so I go and sleep on the couch to respect her space. Then, next thing I know, I'm waking up to Dormé all naked—'
'Anakin I don't need to know this—' Kei stated in rushed tones, but of course his friend wasn't listening and just continued on.
'—Trying to kiss me—'
'Yes, I get the picture. Now get on with it—' Kei tried again in desperate tones.
'—while slipping her hands down my pa—'
'ANAKIN, I GET THE PICTURE! NOW WOULD YOU SHUT THE FRAK UP?' Kei shouted, catching the emperor completely off guard in the process.
The former Sith Lord just blinked in surprise and confusion at the prince. 'What? I'm just telling you what happened!' he sniffed in annoyance.
Kei rolled his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. 'Look, as much as you fascinate me, there are still things I'd rather not know about, OK? That was definitely one of them,' he while shuddering.
The emperor just scowled and gave him and made an inappropriate gesture with his hand.
Kei just folded his arms and smirked. 'OK, so you two spent the night together, then what? You fought or something?' Kei continued, wanting to help but not really wanting to know the sordid details either.
The emperor furrowed his brow as his expression grew troubled. 'That's just it. I don't know. The next morning, she was in such a rush to leave. I tried to ask what was wrong and she said everything was fine. Of course it wasn't, but I had training and I figured it was something she wanted to discuss when we had more time.
'But then when I went to visit her to find out if she was all right, I learnt she had been to the infirmary. So of course I got worried tried to reach her but when I got to her quarters Dormé had locked me out. I tried to talk to her through the door to find out what was going on. She ignored me,' he concluded sadly.
Kei knew this feeling all too well and though Edeja wasn't nearly as confusing, he was familiar with the silent treatment and the privacy act as he nicknamed it to Anakin once. 'So much for things being on the mend,' Kei said softly as Anakin nodded before glancing away again.
'But there's more,' the former Sith Lord admitted.
Kei said nothing further as he waited for him to continue.
'I went to the medical staff to find out what was wrong with her and if she was going to be OK. I discovered she had a pregnancy test done,' Anakin paused as it was obvious to Kei that he was trying to keep himself pulled together. '…She didn't want to get pregnant, Kei. She wanted to end it. Fortunately, she wasn't with child, but because it was considered still too early to completely confirm, she took some medicine that would—' he shook his head as the word would no longer come.
'The morning after shot,' Kei finished softly. As much as the emperor's emotional outbursts were the cause of much teasing, Kei couldn't help but feel for his situation. To be honest, he wasn't certain how he'd react if Edeja did this to him either.
Vader only weakly nodded as he swallowed hard, his hands now clenched into fists. 'What I don't understand is that if she didn't want to have a child, if she was so terrified of me impregnating her, why all this? Why did she sleep with me? Why the lies and the silent treatment? Why did she feel it was so necessary to go that far?'
Kei had no answer, though it was apparent that Anakin felt he did. 'Can you really blame her, Anakin? I mean, it's not like you have a great history when it comes to dealing with younglings.' Almost as soon as the words came out of his mouth Kei felt his heart jump to his throat. Suddenly, the images of his wife and their son's still bodies filled his thoughts causing him to struggle to even breathe. But with one look at the emperor, he knew that vengeance was the last thing on the man's mind.
Anakin's face grew ashen as his mouth opened to speak only to close once more as he quickly looked away as though hoping Kei wouldn't notice the tears collecting in his eyes. The shame that poured from Vader was too evident however for even a non-Force-sensitive to miss.
'I shouldn't have said that,' Kei admitted though he didn't apologize, for he meant his words.
Anakin remained silent for a moment with his back turned to his friend. 'If it's all the same, I'd rather not talk about that…' he shakily replied.
Though he knew Anakin couldn't see him, Kei simply nodded in reply. 'Of course,' he finally answered.
Having pulled himself together, Anakin faced him once more, permitting Kei to continue with another thought that confused him.
'My question is, why didn't you both just use a contraceptive?' Kei remarked, figuring that alone would have saved them both a world of grief. As the emperor stared at him blankly, Kei realized once more that when it came to Anakin, nothing was ever simple.
'What's a contraceptive?' the emperor asked.
The Humbarine prince decided that he had obviously mispronounced the word or maybe used it in the wrong context. It was possible because Basic could be tricky at times, especially if it wasn't one's native language. Neither could he fathom the fact that Anakin was really that ignorant. 'You know, protection to keep one from getting pregnant and such,' Kei reiterated.
Anakin continued to stare at him in confusion.
'You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?' Kei asked in dry tones.
The emperor just shook his head as he furrowed his brow. 'Not a word.'
'Nevermind then,' Kei replied as he gave a wave of his hand. 'Forget I even brought it up.'
Anakin just frowned. 'That makes no sense. Why wouldn't we want to have kids?' Vader asked.
Kei sighed as he shrugged. 'I don't know I'm just thinking out loud,' the young prince remarked.
'It just makes no sense, Kei, that's all. I have no idea how to deal with it.'
Kei couldn't blame him for that as he honestly had no idea what sort of advice to offer either. Outside of trying to suggest to Anakin that he should find a way to talk to the empress, there was little else he had to offer. 'My guess is that she wanted to see you, to talk, but then well things got a bit rushed. When the air cleared, Dormé got scared at how fast things came together and that's why things are such a mess.
'When Edeja and I were first patching things, I found space and communication to be the best way to go. I didn't try to push things on her and for the most part left things in her hands. It's better she goes to you than the other way around. Whether you like it or not, it really is her call where to take this next,' Kei admitted.
Anakin studied his friend in concern. 'But what if she doesn't want to talk or patch things? Then what? Where do I go from there? Things are so confused between us. How am I supposed to know if we're mending things or if they're just getting worse?' Anakin asked in almost desperate tones.
Kei could only shrug as he gave the emperor an apologetic look. His eyes drifted to the chronometer at the back of the room. It took all of his willpower not to sigh in relief. It was almost time for him to head to a meeting and Kei, for the first time in his life, was actually eager to go to one, anything to keep from having to spell things out for his best friend who was obviously having one of his enlightened moments. 'I'm sorry, Anakin, I wish I could tell you more, but you know how I am when it comes to that business. As much as I'd like to further help, I have a meeting to attend. You know how it is,' he said with a mocking wince.
The emperor nodded in understanding and laughed in reply as he waved a hand. 'I know, I know…comes with the territory, doesn't it?' the emperor replied with a smirk marking that he was hardly envious of Kei who had to attend while he got to train with his brother.
Kei rolled his eyes as he made a face before departing only to pause as his friend and emperor called out to him. Glancing over his shoulder, he gave Anakin a questioning look, wondering if the emperor was going to ask for more advice.
'Thank you.'
Kei smiled genuinely at the emperor's simple, but heartfelt reply before departing to the senate hall. Well who would have thought? Perhaps there's still hope for him yet, the Humbarine prince thought to himself as a hint of a hopeful smile crossed his features.
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