A/N: I’d just like to preface this with a few quick notes. I’m a hardcore Ross and Rachel fan. But, I would like to say, I’m not a JR hater. They had their day in the sun, and it was touching to see a new side of Joey, and I enjoyed their time together. Their story leant to the history of the show. A show which we all love. Saying that I hated any moment of that show would be an obvious lie. This story could be classified as RR, but after finishing it, I think it leans more toward JR. Maybe onesided RR. These thoughts below aren’t meant to be my personal point of view, but rather, what Ross was thinking the moment those two famous words were spoken... It’s Rachel.

More Than You Know

It’s Rachel.

In that moment, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I haven’t had those feelings for so long, but in that moment, I felt them stronger than I had in nearly eight years. Scary as it was, it didn’t make sense. It shouldn’t have felt the way it did, and yet, the pit of my stomach was telling me that I shouldn’t be surprised.

It’s Rachel.

For a moment, I’m confused. It’s Rachel, who’s carrying my child. It’s Rachel, who’s my... my what? What is the end of that sentence? It’s Rachel who... what? It takes me a brief, dizzying moment to realize that it’s Rachel, who Joey can’t get out of his mind.

It’s Rachel.

The feeling hasn’t subsided, and I’ve yet to speak. I stand there, frozen, stomach in knots. I know now, why I’m utterly thrown off track. Why I can’t seem to form words that do justice to the thoughts buzzing so fast in the back of my mind.

It’s Rachel.

I know why, now, these feelings have taken root and spread in such a startling few seconds. Few seconds, that seem like minutes and hours and now I’m absolutely terrified. They’re decidedly backwards in logic and horribly selfish and unfair, but they swim there, unwilling to be shaken away.

It’s Rachel.

If I tell him, he’ll be the bigger man and keep quiet. And as horrible as that sounds, I feel fifty times worse. If I tell him that I still feel those feelings, that I still hold the smallest shred of hope, he’ll keep his feelings to himself. In this moment, more than anything else, I’m terrified. Beyond confusion, beyond selfishness, I feel... inadequate and terrified.

It’s Rachel.

Because the second I relinquish this foolish, unexplained hold that I have on her, over the boyfriends that come and go that I really shouldn’t be jealous of, I have no longer have the right to do so. I don’t have the right to save her for myself, for when both of us realize that years of stubbornness have created something bigger than either of us, that has affected everyone we’ve come close to before or since being together.

It’s Rachel.

I know I need to speak now. I can’t hide this, keep this in the depths of my mind as irrational, territorial urges anymore. I know that my duty now is to my friend who, while justified, has the worst timing in the world. Although, I think, could there be a good time for this conversation?

It’s Rachel.

If he tells her how he feels, I... it’s over. It has to be, right? Hasn’t it been over for years? But again, as my mind races in circles, I think, it isn’t over. If it was, would she be pregnant now? It’s time to be the friend that he deserves... I can dwell on this later. Dwelling on Rachel Green... a task I’m far too familiar with.

It’s Rachel.

He could have every sincere intention in the world, but the end result, once she knows how he feels, will be the same. I... I always knew that I wasn’t the best looking guy in the room, or the smoothest, or even the funniest... but Joey... it just, it makes sense. He’s more... her level. And as I allow myself to finally understand why I’m having such a hard time with this, I realize, she won’t say no to whatever he offers her. What woman would? I mean...

It’s Joey.