A/N: Back! Um, I guess you could say I was in a rush to write this chapter, even though it took me like, several months, so some parts are kind of lame. I, um, had a lot of schoolwork and music and math competitions and EVERYTHING, and Pineapple-Sister has NO MERCY. I mean, fuck, AP exams! And the humongous math competition! And I had to learn and polish to recital-quality Fantasie Impromptu, which is incredibly hard! Instead of being an awesome friend and being sympathetic to my needs, Pineapple-Sister gave me a few weeks to write this…or else. During class (since we never pay attention), we plotted my death. Apparently, if I hadn’t finished it, I was getting stabbed to death with kitchen knives and senbon. Simple, bloody, but simple.

So, past the ranting, it’s time for a PARTAY!!!!!!! (Even though I personally despise parties...they smell and they give me headaches). Which means fooooood, making out in corners, grinding, beer, and, yes, truth-or-dare. Everyone knows what happens in a cliché truth-or-dare fanfiction. Who said this was an exception?

And thanks for the reviews!

Deidara paused before the auditorium door, sighing deeply as he wondered if he looked all right, attractive enough to attract…a certain someone. He had left his sun-colored hair down for once, brushed to perfection, and thick, black highlights streaked their way downward. A tight, black shirt hugged his swimmer’s body, the sleeves cut off raggedly, and baggy black cargo pants hung low on his hips, adorned with three or four chains. Seven black bracelets circled his right wrist, and six black bracelets and a studded rocker’s bracelet circled his left. The look was complete with worn black Converses, a silver cross on a chain around his neck, and his usual eyeliner.

Sasori, don’t wet your pants again. (A/N: I didn’t mean to go on that long about his outfit…I kind of got carried away. Only a little.)

Inside the auditorium, chaos ensued. A DJ sat on stage, an ear-splittingly loud “Fergalicious” threatened to bring the walls down, and bodies moved to the beat in the faintly lit darkness. It smelled like body odor, alcohol, and sweat. Yum!

Deidara closed the door behind him and tried to peer through the confusion of the strobe lights and smoke machines. “I wonder where Hidan-chan is, yeah,” he murmured to himself.

“Looking for Kakuzu, because Kakuzu has hell to pay,” Itachi smirked beside him, half-hidden in the shadow. Utterly boring, the red-eyed ninja had simply worn his Akatsuki cloak. Or maybe the authoress was sick of going on long-winded clothes descriptions.

The blonde spun around in surprise. “Tachi-chan!” he exclaimed. “Having fun, yeah?”

“Fun?” Itachi sounded like he had never heard the word before. Friggin ice weasel. “I suppose so.”

“Like my outfit? Sasori thinks its ridiculous, yeah.” Deidara spread wide his arms and spun around for Itachi’s scrutiny.

“It’s…gr—“ He was abruptly cut off when Deidara tore off in the other direction, shouting Hidan’s name. “Great,” he finished under his breath, staring after the much-too-caffeinated blonde.

Deidara wove through the small auditorium, filled with people dancing, drinking, and making out in various corners. He thought he had seen Hidan’s conspicuous white hair, gelled back perfectly as always. As he passed a corner, he stopped suddenly when he noticed who, or rather, WHAT was occupying the space.

“Danna?”

Sasori dancing, drinking, AND making out in a various corner, with none other than his beautiful puppet lady, Sarah. “Go away, Deidara,” he growled when they paused to catch their breaths (if Sarah or Sasori breathe—I have no clue). His eyes grew wide and, with ninja lightning skills, flipped around so that his back was against the wall and Sarah was in front of him. “You. Fag. Get away from me,” commanded the puppet master in a trembling voice.

“He’s a fag?” asked Sarah, her lips unmoving. Ventriloquism is so much fun. “Oh, Sasori baby, he’s not worth our time. Let’s pick up where we left off…”

Deidara hastily vamoosed from the scene, muttering, “I know when I’m not wanted, yeah.” He sighed, and swiveled around to continue his search.

“You!”

Deidara turned to find Hidan glaring at him. “Hidan-kun! I’ve been looking for you!”

“Where the hell is that cheap-ass mother fucker?”

“Who?” Hidan glared at the clueless Deidara, who finally realized what had happened and snorted quite hysterically.

“Just tell me where Kakuzu is and fuck off, seriously,” growled Hidan. Deidara looked slightly hurt, but still could not stop giggling. Yes, giggling.

“Enjoying yourself?” Kakuzu had appeared behind Hidan and was grinning like there was no tomorrow.

“Fuck…you…” said Hidan slowly, turning around and stumbling in the process. You see, when Kakuzu had cut Hidan’s head off, the Leader had ordered him to sew the head back on, of course. Kakuzu had assumed that the Leader hadn’t specified how to sew it back on.

“You know you want to,” retorted Kakuzu, looking quite smug.

“I don’t swing that way, damn you! Put it back on properly!” Hidan roared. “Seriously, I’m not going to spend the whole fucking party with my head on backwards!”

Kakuzu sighed, looking off to the side, “That smoke machine cost 57,643 yen. I told Boss that the money could be spent on better things, but nooo, he spent it on a stupid, expensive machine that—“

“Are you even listening to me, son of a bitch?” snarled Hidan, raising his arms to strangle Kakuzu, but since his head was on backwards, it didn’t really work. Kakuzu just snickered and walked away. “Wait, seriously, you can’t leave, you…you need to…to FUCKING SEW MY HEAD ON RIGHT! GET THE FUCK BACK HERE, DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!” Hidan began chasing after his partner, still roaring his head off, ran in the wrong direction, paused, began running backwards, stumbled, and fell on his ass. He got back up laboriously and repeated the cycle.

Smirking broadly, Kakuzu let one of his threads creep forward and neatly slice Hidan’s head off again.

“What was that for?” Hidan’s head demanded.

“You want me to put your head on right, right?” And Kakuzu leaned down to pick up Hidan’s head, unable to keep the evvvvvil smirk on his face.

Deidara sighed, watching the ancient nin cart off the dismembered, albeit cursing vulgarly, body. NO ONE wanted to talk to him! He looked to where Kisame was raiding the refreshment table (Kisame wasn’t talking to him after the polka-dots, anyway), to where the Leader and the Hime practically made babies on the dance floor. (Isn’t is supposed to be rude to screw a pregnant woman, by the way?)

“Zetsu, what’s up, yeah?” said Deidara cheerfully as the cannibal passed by.

“I’m hungry,” Zetsu answered. “Don’t eat the blonde, though, that’s cruel. Plus, the Leader wouldn’t be pleased. It’s not my fault if he remembered to get fish food for Kisame but nothing edible for me. And I’m hungry! So, Deidara, are you having fun?”

Deidara paled. “L-Lots of fun, yeah,” he said hastily.

"Take care, all right?” Zetsu wandered away, still arguing with himself over whom to eat.

“You got lucky,” said a certain weasel behind him.

How could he have forgotten about Itachi so quickly? The blonde spun around and beamed. “Tachi-chan, what’s up, yeah?”

The Uchiha sighed and sat down on a nearby chair. Deidara followed suit. “Nothing much. This is pointless.”

“Maybe you should dance! It’s fun!” Deidara pointed to where the Leader had pressed the Hime to the floor and had begun passionately eating her face. “They seem to enjoy it, yeah.”

If Itachi was not emotionally retarded, he would’ve made a face. “That is revolting.”

“Have you ever danced before, yeah?”

“…No.”

“Ooh!” Deidara’s face lit up. “I’ll teach you! C’mon, yeah!”

“Dance?!” Itachi looked in horror as the hyper ninja grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the dance floor. “Dance…I…you…no!”

“It’s fun, I promise! I’m not very good myself, yeah, but…oh! A slow song!” He pointed to Leader and Hime, where they had finally stopped grinding and were slow-dancing to the music. “See? That’s easy. Slow-dancing is just a hug on wheels, yeah.”

“A hug…I don’t give hugs.”

Deidara reached forward and squeezed the poor weasel warmly. “Now you do, yeah,” he giggled. “C’mon, you should try it sometime.”

Itachi awkwardly put an arm around the other. “This…this ‘slow-dancing’ thing…” he began hesitantly.

“You wanna do it? Told ya, yeah,” grinned the Rock nin. He pulled Itachi’s arms into the proper position. “You put your arms around my waist since you’re taller, and I put my arms around your neck, and you just…I don’t know…sway to the music, yeah?”

Closing his eyes, Itachi obeyed, albeit uncomfortably at first, but soon got the rhythm of the movement. He could not believe how good it felt, to have someone warm in your arms, to feel music flowing through you…heaven forbid, was that a genuine smile on the Uchiha’s face?

Deidara seemed lost in the moment, too. His eyes were closed as well, and he moved closer to rest his cheek on Itachi’s shoulder. “You got it, Tachi-chan,” he murmured. “This is…just as friends, yeah?”

“…Yes,” Itachi whispered back. Tell him what he smells like, said an annoying, very un-Itachi voice in the back of his mind. Sweet but clean…pineapples. Before he could stop himself, his lips began forming the words. “Deidara-kun, you…”

Suddenly, the music stopped. Everyone turned in the sudden silence towards the DJ, who was not there anymore, and the Leader’s voice screamed through the auditorium, “FUCK YOU, ZETSU!”

Zetsu, standing unabashedly on the stage, swallowed the last of the DJ’s leg and shrugged. “I’m sorry, Leader. I was really hungry.”

Deidara released himself from Itachi’s grasp, smiling broadly. “That was fun, yeah, Tachi-chan?”

“I…I guess I liked it…it was short,” admitted the ice weasel in embarrassment. He turned his face so Deidara could not see the shocked and…disappointed look in his red eyes.

The Leader was still screaming at Zetsu. “I GUESS YOU’RE NOT HUNGRY ANYMORE, EH?”

“No, thank you,” he replied, leaping lightly offstage.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW WITHOUT OUR GODDAMNED DJ, HUH?” The Hime put a hand on his shoulder but he brushed it off.

“Find me more food?”

Kisame spoke up from the refreshment table. “Party games. You always play party games at parties.”

“Party games!” exclaimed Deidara, clapping his hands. “They’re so much fun, yeah!”

Itachi deadpanned.

Kakuzu said, “Something cheap. I refuse to spend any more money on stuff as worthless as that smoke machine.”

“Twister?” said Hime.

“Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey?” said Kisame.

Hidan sniggered, “You could use Kakuzu for that, he’s an ass.” And he dodged the threads that shot forward towards his neck.

“Spin the bottle,” said Sarah.

“Or even more cliche: truth or dare,” said Sasori, to a mumbled consent.

So the Akatsuki sat down in an awkward circle on the auditorium floor, and Sasori chose the liberty of going first. “Boss, truth or dare?”

“…Dare,” replied the Leader.

“I dare you…to…” Sasori scrutinized the shadowy persona. “…To come out of your shadow for once. What do you really look like?”

“Oh,” said the Hime hastily. “You…you really don’t want to know. I’d advise you to choose something else.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Kisame grinned. “I mean, all we’ve seen are your eyes and your nose piercings.”

The Leader took a deep breath. “You’ll regret this…” he mumbled, and dispelled the shadow around him for the fleetest instant.

Sasori fainted.

Kisame barfed up his fish food. Ew.

Hidan screamed, “Holy FUCK!”

And Deidara murmured awkwardly, “Hidan-kun, fucking isn’t holy, yeah!”

“Yeah,” said the Leader, hastily putting his shadow back on a moment later. There was a stunned silence as the remaining, non-barfing, conscious Akatsuki members stared at his safely shadowed figure in horror. (A/N: Pineapple-Sister thinks he could be hot. I…I don’t know. . ) “Um, I get to choose now, right?” More awkward silence. “Right. Uh…Deidara…truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

The Leader thought briefly to himself. “I hear you’ve, um, finally admitted your sexual orientation. Do you like anyone?”

Scarlet crept up the blonde’s pale cheeks. “Maybe, yeah,” he squeaked.

“WHOA!” exclaimed the Leader. “Who is it? Is it anyone here??”

“I answered the question,” snapped Deidara. He scanned the circle briefly before choosing his victim. “Zetsu-san, truth or dare, yeah?”

“Truth.”

“How you were you born, like, how the heck do you get a man-eating plant man, yeah?”

Zetsu sighed, “This may be slightly disturbing.”

“I’m interested now,” contributed the Leader, glaring safely within his shadow.

“My human father pollinated a Venus flytrap. That’s all.”

“Wait,” said Hidan. “Your dad fucked a plant?”

“You could put it that way,” Zetsu said uncomfortably.

“How do you fuck a plant, seriously?” the priest wanted to know.

“Well, I’m not quite sure. I think the process left him castrated, though.”

“The plant ate his dick?”

“My mother is famous for her excellent blowjobs, but often leaves her clients incapable of further sexual activity.” Zetsu turned to the Leader, who was green in the face. “Do I get to ask someone else now?”

“Yes,” said the Hime.

“Choose the blonde kid!” suggested Kisame. “I still wanna know who he likes!”

Shaking his head, Zetsu said, “This is a pointless game. Itachi, truth or dare?”

Itachi blinked. “Truth.”

“Aw, man, that’s boring, Itachi-san,” whined Kisame.

“Fans have repeatedly questioned your sex. Do you have a penis?” Sai asked, leaning forward with as much enthusiasm as the emotionless ninja could muster.

Sai, didn’t I tell you to explode last chapter?

“Technically, no. You told me to ‘go away’.”

Jesus doesn’t love you. Now explode.

Grumbling, Sai exploded, to the delight of Deidara.

“Jesus died, and Jashin-sama ate him, what are you talking about, arirang?” Hidan snorted. “Answer the question, weasel-san.”

Itachi sighed, “I am of the masculine gender. Deidara, truth or dare?”

“If I say truth,” huffed the blonde, “then you’ll make me say whom I like, yeah?”

Kisame merely grinned his sharkey grin.

Deidara grinned back, “Dare.”

“I dare you to tell me who you like,” said Itachi, his red eyes boring into Deidara’s black ones.

He huffed, “That’s unfair, yeah.”

“Answer,” Itachi ordered, his voice dangerous and quiet.

In a matter of seconds, Deidara’s face turned 12 different shades of red. “Ilikehimurmurmumble, yeah.”

“Who?” demanded all the Akatsuki members, save Sasori, who was still unconscious.

Deidara stared at the ground.

“H-Hidan-kun.”

A stunned silence pervaded the circle.

Kisame was the first to speak, or rather, snort and honk obnoxiously as he LOL-ed, LMAO-ed, and ROFL-ed, pointing at Hidan’s tomato-red face.

Itachi nodded, his face an unreadable mask. “Your turn, Deidara-kun.”

“Kisame, stop laughing, yeah,” growled the rock nin, and he turned to Kakuzu. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” said Kakuzu, smirking broadly at his partner who had curled up into a little ball.

At this, Hidan sat up. “I dare you to eat 500 yen,” he declared.

“Eat? But this is Deidara-kun’s dare!” spluttered Kakuzu.

“That sounds good, yeah,” said the blonde. “1000 yen.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! You’re not even spending the damn money! This is a violation of the law!”

Hidan pulled out some paper money from Kakuzu’s back pocket with an evil smile. “Here you go.”

“No. You can go fuck yourself.”

“Physically impossible, and yeah, I tried,” grinned Hidan. “If you don’t eat it, I’ll force it down your throat, seriously.”

Kakuzu looked at the wad of bills distastefully. “I forfeit,” he growled, standing up to leave, when Hidan tackled him gleefully and pinned him to the floor.

“Eat this, cheap-ass bitch!” screamed the priest in delirium as he pinched Kakuzu’s stitched-up nose and shoved the yen down his partner’s throat. Kakuzu gagged, his eyes popping out as Hidan shoved it deeper and deeper, until he was forced to swallow or die. Grinning broadly, Hidan released him and sat back on his heels.

Kakuzu blinked, his eyes watering as he spat out the remnants of the money onto the ground. Veins popped out from his temples as he wheezed, “Fuck…you…”

“You know you want to,” Hidan retorted, using Kakuzu’s words earlier.

Kakuzu promptly turned to the side and barfed up the half-digested money, green and mushy and mixed with squishy yellow stomach contents and watery orange liquids from the orange juice he drank that morning and…yeah, I’ll stop now.

“Hidan…dare…or…dare…” he rasped, vomit streaming down his chin.

“What the fuck?”

“You…heard…me…”

Kisame grinned, “Hidan says dare.”

“I…dare you…” Kakuzu smiled evilly, “…to…make out…with Deidara-kun…for two minutes straight…”

“What the FUCK?!” spluttered Hidan. “You’ve got to be kidding me, seriously! I didn't even choose 'dare'!”

The Leader pointed at the blonde, who was looking back in surprise. “He’s right there, Hidan, beautiful and waiting for your luscious lips.”

“H-Hidan-kun, it’s only two minutes, yeah,” mumbled Deidara.

The priest was prepared to make a run for it when Kakuzu’s threads shoved him to the ground and bound him mercilessly, writhing desperately as Deidara scooted forward on his knees and pressed him against the wall.

“Only two minutes, yeah,” Deidara whispered again.

Before Hidan could react, Deidara’s lips were teasing his, tugging and nipping, soft tongue nudging his closed mouth, begging for an entrance. Hidan, at first, could only freeze in horror. Holy fuck! He was kissing another guy! And it felt…GOOD?! And then, his fingers decided to have a will of their own and entwined themselves in long, blonde hair. His lips parted slightly to allow in that tongue Deidara had persistently pressed forward.

WAIT. What was he doing?! Was he insane?!

But it was hard for Hidan to reason out his insanity, because Deidara’s tongue was blissfully exploring ever crevice in his mouth, the roughness of his tongue, the smoothness of his teeth. The taste of cinnamon and pineapples—delicious, seriously—engulfed what last vestiges of sanity remained as he lost himself in the passion. Unaware of Deidara’s roaming hands, of Kisame’s whoops, or of Sasori laying crumpled in an unconscious heap (the puppet had awoken in time to see them begin kissing, and had promptly fainted again), he knew only Deidara’s tongue slipping in and out and rubbing fervently against his.

However, they had to breathe at some point, and they broke away reluctantly, but slowly enough so that Hidan could feel Deidara’s eyelashes brush his cheek. (A/N: Okay, I don’t think I’m ever going to be that deep again. Wow.)

What. The. FUCK?!

“That was ten minutes, not two,” snorted Kisame, who was LOL-ing, LMAO-ing, and ROFL-ing again.

“Lovely,” commented Kakuzu, who was not gasping for breath or barfing anymore.

Itachi looked stoically at the ground, and mumbled something suspiciously like, “You are quite a good kisser, Deidara-kun.”

“Did I just seriously kiss a fucking guy?” whispered Hidan, staring blankly at the air in front of him.

“Yup,” said Kakuzu. “You enjoyed it, too. What does he taste like?”

It took a few minutes until the priest finally comprehended that he had made out with another member of the male species. “I’M STRAIGHT AS A STRAIGHT LINE, FUCKING SERIOUSLY, FORGIVE ME, JASHIN-SAMA, I’LL NEVER SIN AGAIN!” he screamed, and promptly fled the auditorium.

And with that, the fateful truth-or-dare game ended.

“Where did he go, yeah?” asked Deidara, slightly worried, but blushing also from the passion that still lingered on his lips.

Kakuzu replied, “Some damn ritual or something, probably stabbing his heart out and cutting off his tongue. So, what does Hidan taste like, then?”

The clay artist closed his eyes in pure bliss, remembering.

“Like pumpkin spice coffee.”

Sorry to bother you guys again, but I had a sudden flash of inspiration! What if I made everyone (cept for Dei-chan, of course) taste like something related to coffee?

I blame this idea on the caramel frappuccino I am devouring right now. :) Starbucks equals Paradise.