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Gift
A/N: Story written for Zanisha's sixteenth birthday. Go tell her a (belated) happy birthday.
Viktor
Axel fidgeted nervously with the lighter in his left hand. “You didn’t say why you pulled me out a puddle.”
“Oh, hush if you’re going to be a baby. I thought you’d at least thank me for saving your life.” Kairi said as she pulled a variety of cooking materials from cupboards. “Besides, with Sora and Riku always off gallivanting about the cosmos, it gets lonely here.”
‘Here’ was a small apartment, complete with two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen/living room. A laptop computer was on the table, its screensaver running. Next to it was a red and white cellphone and a small notepad.
“So,” Axel began. “Why me?”
“Because Roxas is inside Sora, and the rest of the Order are a bunch of gloomy miscreants.”
“I’m worse then most of them. If you wanted company, why didn’t-“
“Look, just shut up and let me feed you already.” Kairi interrupted, as she pointed a wooden spoon with pancake batter at Axel’s face. “You’re a stick, and I haven’t had breakfast yet either.”
“I hadn’t even said-“
"Axel. I’m not repeating myself.”
“Slow down already. I don’t want to have to give you the Heimlich. You’re about a foot and a half taller then me, so it’d be awkward.” Kairi said, a giggle working its way into her admonishment. “Besides, I haven’t had any yet.”
Axel’s response was to tweak four sausages from the platter and place three on his plate while the fourth one went into his mouth after being wiped in maple syrup.
“Slob.” Kairi jabbed good-naturedly.
“I haven’t had real food in about twenty-five years.” Axel shot back as he ate two more sausages. “Besides, I love pancakes and sausages.”
Kairi laughed as she placed the last of the pancakes on a plate. “Want me to fry up a pig for bacon?”
“You have a pig here?” Axel looked around the room expectantly.
“Sora’s off gallivanting, remember?”
Axel, in the middle of chewing his last sausage, choked with laughter. Kairi squeaked and slapped him on the back, hard. The offending piece landed on the table next to Axel’s plate.
“Was your aim suicide, sir?” Kairi asked, rubbing his back.
“Nope.” He gasped. “But I haven’t chocked on food since I was in high school. It’s a little disconcerting, seeing as I haven’t had to eat, let alone breathe for a long time.”
“Well, then a learning experience?”
“Nah. That would’ve entailed getting CPR from you while feigning unconsciousness.”
She cuffed him upside the head. “Flirt.”
“I try.”
“You fell asleep.” He heard her say from the kitchen. “For a guy, you seemed awfully bored with the movies that Sora and Riku like.”
“What can I say? Larxene had the only television that wasn’t keyed into the security, and all she ever watched was pay-per-view porn.” He replied. “Roxas stole it after she faded…”
“Lemme guess, for video games?”
“Wrong. He watched pay-per-view porn too. ‘Cept that he didn’t watch gay porn.”
He heard hands slapping against skin. “Axel, I don’t need to hear anymore about porn.” She replied in a singsong voice.
He laughed, long and hard. “There was this one time, I think he missed a channel that Larxene had preprogrammed into the thing, and he flips it on, and BAM! A sausage fest! He screamed bloody murder and was washing his eyes out and hitting his head against a wall for an hour. The next morning, He smashed the thing to pieces for training.”
Axel felt a sharp rap on his head. He looked while rubbing the sore spot and saw Kairi’s wooden spoon, and her face a mask of false-anger. “Prepare to die, punk.” She said, grinning like a march hare.
“Cheater.” She muttered.
“Does anyone tell you how adorable you look when you’re mad?”
“Counting you? Let’s see,” She held up her hand with three fingers. “Sora, Riku, and You. Guys, anyway.” She said each name while closing a finger.
“Girls tell you that too?”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “Punk. Put me down.”
He grinned. “You asked for it.” He replied, and let his arms fall to his side, effectively dumping her on the floor.
“Yes.”
“You are a complete and utter asshole, Axel.”
“Yes.”
“Say it, Goddamn you.”
“I am a complete and utter asshole. Now will you please stop breaking my arm?”
“No.”
Kairi applied a little more pressure to his arm, which was now bent behind Axel’s back in a most uncomfortable manner. He winced visibly. “Would it help if I apologized again?”
“Maybe.”
“Kairi, I am sorry to have dropped you on the floor, even if I followed your- SHIT!”
Kairi twisted his arm a little further. “What was that?” She asked sweetly, venom positively dripping from her voice. “I didn’t hear that very well.”
“O beautiful queen, star of the morning, pearl of the sea, I AM SORRY I DROPPED YOU!”
“Better.” She said, letting his arm fall. “Though you could use a bit more work.”
“…How ‘bout lunch instead?”
“But the Rueben smells so good.” He whined.
“Go sit down. You’re behaving like a five-year-old.”
“…I’ll pout.”
Kairi raised an eyebrow. “If you pout, you have to accept the consequences.”
Axel stuck out his lower lip, crossed his arms, and hunched, daring her to do her worst with his eyes.
Kairi leaned in…
“OW!” Axel cried as she bit him.
“I told you not to pout.” She said, laughing. “Now, sit down.”
Axel grinned. “Consequences.”
Kairi’s lower lip quivered. Axel swooped forward.
Kairi filled a plastic bag with ice and wrapped in paper towel. “I didn’t think you’d actually take the hit.” She murmured.
“I was distracted.” Axel shot back.
“Yeah. Trying to give me tongue is a little distracting. So is a knee to the groin, I hear.”
“I am very sore. Could you please give me the ice?”
Kairi hefted it in her hand, thinking. “Hmmmm. Payment first, I think.”
“Payment?” Axel asked. “I don’t have any money.”
Kairi grinned. “Really? I guess I’ll need some other kind of payment.”
“Well, I wouldn’t mind having se-“ Axel began.
Axel looked at the plastic bag.
“A gift from a princess.” He mused to himself, all thoughts of pain forgotten.
End
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