I absolutely needed to write something, so while really tired last week I wrote this. I'd been thinking about writing this scenario for awhile, but didn't know where it would fit, when it occurred to me that it was perfect for Without A Trace (yeah, racking my brain trying to figure out which show would work to have a man and woman in this position when a show already had the set up for it... sometimes I make life difficult on myself!)

This is my first Without A Trace fic :) Contains Jack/Sam angst, set during their affair. Please Read and Review, tell me what you think!

Sleepless Nights

It was 3.13 am and she couldn't sleep, again. He was finally asleep and the worry lines had relaxed on his face. She stared at the ceiling, the walls, the window, the clock, wondering what she wanted. She wondered why they were there, in her bed, in an affair. She had never thought she was the type to sleep with a married man. Yet there they were, three or four nights a week, having sex in her home.

She pretended that he didn't have a wife and two kids he was neglecting to be with her. She pretended that they were two people in a normal relationship, when they were any thing but. He was her boss, not just a colleague, but the one in charge of her. The FBI had strict rules against fraternizing with colleagues, and they were breaking most of them. Not to mention that they were breaking social rules about faithfulness, and moral codes about it as well.

It was 3.32 and she was still wide awake, even though her body screamed for sleep. She could hear cars moving outside, dogs barking, and sirens wailing in the distance. She wondered how many people were in the same position she was in. How many people lived a double life? How many people had hearts torn in two because they loved someone they shouldn't, even though they could have it? How many people had their minds yell one thing and their hearts another?

She looked down at him again; he was sleeping peacefully. She wondered if he felt the same way she did. She wondered what their relationship would be like without his family existing. She shuddered at that thought, it was a somewhat horrible wish. Yet even if his family didn't exist their relationship wouldn't be allowed. It wasn't fair, she believed, that they couldn't be lovers because of the established rules. Even though they couldn't be lovers, they were, and it was taking a toll on them both emotionally.

It was 4 am, and she thought about how they had come to that point. They had gone for drinks after work. He had been fighting with his wife. They had been flirting for months. They started talking. They went to her place to talk and drink some more. By midnight they were in her bed. They were uncomfrotable at first, but they continued the affair not too many days later.

She wished they could end it, but every time they tried to stop, they fell into the same routine within a few days. She looked at the clock again and knew she would be exhausted in the morning, again. He would ask if she was ok, and she would answer yes, even though she really wouldn't be.

It was 4.17 am and she relaxed into his arms.

It was 4.29 am and she was asleep.

Again, please R&R.