A/N: Kitty… er, I mean, Russia's-little-Kiska missed the author's note last time, so I put it in again for her. So here it is. The author's note. Where the author-- that's me— notes stuff.
::whistles:: … ::twiddles thumbs::
Okay, let's get back to the show!

-

Anastasia: Alright! Again with the commercials being over and me having to come up with more to say to these Mutie freaks.

Rogue: Excuse me?

Anastasia: You're excused.

Kitty: Did you burp, Ro?

Rogue: No! She just called us—

Jean: Maybe she farted.

Rogue: NO! She just called us—

Kitty: You can admit it, Ro. We're all about the love here—we won't hold it against you.

Jean: Yeah, we ain't tooter-haters!

Rogue: But I DIDN'T--

Anastasia: Sheesh, she's a stubborn one!

Kitty and Jean: Tell me about it.

Rogue (rolls her eyes and pouts): Why do I bother?

Anastasia: Let's just bring out the boys.

(Logan, Remy, and Piotr enter. Host waits for applause to die down before speaking.)

Anastasia: Hey guys!

Logan: Yo.

Remy: Bonjour.

Piotr: Zdravstvuite.

Anastasia: You do and you clean it up, Pete.

Piotr: Da.

Kitty: (Hugs Piotr) PETEY! (glares at Rogue) MY Petey.

Rogue: You can have him… I have me a glass of Cajun Comfort right here…

(Rogue leans for Remy's mouth. Host yanks them apart.)

Anastasia: Hey now! None of that!

Kitty: Not like you could do that anyway.

Rogue: I can't touch people. What's your excuse, half-pint?

Jean: Hey you two! What about your agreement?

Anastasia (to audience): Just to fill you guys in, while we were on commercial break, Kitty and Rogue vowed not to fight anymore.

Kitty: We are all about the love!

Rogue: That's MY line, and ya'll say it wrong anyway.

Kitty (whines): Ro's not being 'all about the love'!

Jean: Ro….

Rogue: Yeah, yeah… (mutters) Little snitch…

Kitty: I so heard that!

Jean: Rogue!

Rogue: Jiminy crackers—FINE!

Anastasia: May I continue with MY SHOW now?

Rogue: I'll allow it.

Anastasia: Alright… the audience has been dying to hear the boy's side of things. So girls, you are officially commanded to shut up. This is guy time.

(Girls reluctantly nod.)

Anastasia: (blushes) Hi, Remy.

Remy (winks): Hi dere, cherie.

Rogue: HEY--!

Anastasia: --Shush! What did I just say about the girls talking? You've had your turn… This is boy time, so don't be rude! Okay, Remy… So how's Belladonna?

Remy (nervously): She's… she's alright. I wouldn't really know.

Anastasia: Yeah, yeah… so you off the ol' ball and chain or what?

Remy: (smiles) You askin' me if I'm single, Chere?

Anastasia: Wanna go out on Saturday? Well… more like Saturday afternoon… or Sunday, whichever's better for you…

Rogue: HEY--!

Anastasia: --GIRLS NO TALKY!

Logan: I already hate this show.

Anastasia: Logan, if you got Jean to go out with you, would you be a more cheerful person?

Logan: I'll let you know when that happens.

Remy: Keep a weather eye for when Hell freezes over.

Piotr: Or when Remington can touch dear Rogue.

(Both Rogue and Remy scowl)

Logan: What, no comeback to that, Gumbo? Score one for the Russian!

Kitty (to Piotr): I love you.

Jean: I think I feel a 'Fastball Special' coming on, (burps) Whoops, nope, just the chili dog I had for lunch.

Anastasia: GIRLS NO SPEAK! Why don't we all hear what the lovely Remy LeBeau has to say… Remy?

Remy: I want to know what be up with de Southerner discrimination? I, for one--

Logan: --Bub, we live in America. You're both from Confederate states.

Anastasia: Hi? Um… I'm the host. The host says don't interrupt Remy when he's talking.

Logan: (Claws come out) The host needs to shut up before the guest skewers the host into little host pieces.

(Host shuts up.)

Piotr: Ah, friend Logan. We must be as Kiska says: "All about the love".

Rogue: That's MY LINE!

Anastasia: Sheesh, Rogue, lie down before you hurt yourself!

Remy: You may lie down next to me…

Anastasia: Okay!

(Goes and sits on Remy's lap)

Remy: Not who or what I had in mind, but okay…

Anastasia: So Piotr… You and Kitty have gotten through most of your age differences, huh?

Piotr: Uh…

Rogue: Wow, that question made him more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs.

(Jean gives Rogue a strange look)

Rogue: What?

Piotr: Let us say, we still watch out for the politz.

Anastasia: Speak English, Captain U.S.S.R., we're in America.

Logan: And American's hate Confeds.

Piotr: My apologies. I mean to say, the police.

Anastasia: Have you two been busted before?

Kitty: He did like, a bit of hard time about a year back. He came back a changed man.

Rogue: He was in the big house? No wonder he's gay.

Piotr: Rogue, I have already proven to you that I am indeed not gay.

Kitty: OOHH! So, that's why you slept with her! Petey, I was so misunderstanding of your intentions. I thought you actually liked the snob.

Rogue (Cries): Me too!

(Remy wants to go to comfort her but still has host on his lap.)

Remy: My leg is losing proper circulation. Kinda hurts.

Anastasia: It'll go numb in a minute. And Jean, before we wrap it up… How are you and Scott? Still bound by Comic world contract?

Jean: I just don't see how Scooter can get away with cheating on me with Emma—

Kitty: AHEM!

Jean: --Sorry, the "blonde bimbo of whom we do not speak of", while I'm stuck here denying my Canadian here all the time. Let's compare, shall we?

Logan: Oh. Lets.

Jean: Logan: Amazing fighter. Loyal. Witty. Cunning. Loves me dearly. An animal in bed, (though of anyone asks, I wouldn't know—stupid contract). Anyway, then we have Scott:

Logan: Then we have Scott!

Jean: Sissy mama's boy...

Logan: What a sissy.

Jean: Preppy...!

Logan: Complete prep.

Jean: Stiff...!

Logan: The stiffest!

Jean: And NOT to mention he FOREVER has a STICK up his--

Anastasia: --OKAY! Looks like that's all the time we have for now… We'll go to a quick commercial, but keep it tuned in to have more of this madness.

-

I've had too much of Kitty's sugar packets. Please review.
Signed,
--RedRogue