This is based on an actual game that we play from time to time. We don’t actually steal anything, but we do play it.

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Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, or the quirky and possibly illegal (this version at least) game mentioned as well.

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Alien

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It was near eleven o’clock in Konoha, and most of the citizens were asleep. Aside from the ninja on guard, that is. But the case was different from a group of young ninja who were given what was wildly considered the wildest training job in the history of 4Konoha.

A few hour earlier, teams seven, eight, ten and Gai had been assembled together. Their teachers had insisted they come fro a special training session, and most of the young students could smell trouble from them a mile away.

“Students,” Kakashi started, “We are going to assign you a special kind of training. One that we all took ourselves when we were your age.”

“It’s sure to keep your youth up!” Gai supplied, loopy as ever.

“Anyway,” Kurenai sweat-dropped, “This is something that will put all of your ninja abilities to the test.”

The students took the info seriously; they could handle whatever they were given. They were prepared for anything.

“You have to play Alien.”

Except that.

“WHAT?” The shout from all of the students was deafening. They could not believe this.

“Sensei,” Sakura said, annoyed “What does that have to do with training?”

Kakashi smiled from underneath his mask, “You’d be surprised. Now does anyone not know what alien is?”

A few hands went up. Including but not limited to Hinata, Ino, Lee, and to the surprise of many, Sasuke.

“You don’t know what Alien is?” Naruto asked incredulously, “That is rich.”

“Shut up, dead last.” He snapped, trying to suppress the blush of rage and embarrassment.

“Anyway, since around half of you don’t know what the game is, I’ll tell you.” Asuma said, “While it’s called ‘Alien’ it’s the perfect practice for ninja arts. He object is to go out in the middle of the night and steal a few small objects from the yards you pass. You can’t be seen by any passing people or get caught in any lights for too long.”

There was a silence. Tenten raised her hand, “Excuse me Sensei, but did you just tell us to STEAL?”

“Only things that are not very valuable.” Kurenai insisted, “Discarded sweaters, plants, old bric-a-bracs, things like that. And you will put it in an open space to be found later.”

“The team with the most interesting thing will win.” Gai said with his creepy enthusiasm.

They all eventually agreed with the idea, and headed off to prepare. Now that the sky was dark and clear, a full moon was hanging in the sky. The teams each raced off through the village to gather up all the junk they could find by one a.m.

How team seven did

“Do you guys feel the least bit awkward about this?” Sakura whispered to her teammates. One was experienced in this field but about as sharp as sticky tape, and the other was very smart, but had no experience in this and seemed to be feeling as freaked out as her right now. (Although he’d never admit it)

“Nah,” Naruto said, “Stuff like this is cake to me.”

That comment made Sasuke writhe inwardly. There was no way he could allow Naruto to be better than him at anything! He had to make sure he got to something before he did. As he inwardly plotted, he outwardly did his best to not look bugged by his blonde teammate.

“Tche, Whatever looser.” He said smoothly, carefully averting any trace of shrewdness.

Sakura sighed; this was too much for her. It was like they stepped into the twilight zone or something. What were they thinking giving them training like that? They did say that they were given the same thing.

“Come on Sakura,” Naruto whispered loudly, snapping her out of her thoughts. She leapt over to them and they headed down the street.

Their first house had some assorted pottery and hideous owl statues. Nearby a construction site had been working on fixing some broken sidewalk. Sasuke told Sakura to watch out for anyone coming as he went to the house. He was almost to the front when the porch light came on.

“Out you go mister fuzzy.” A voice rang out as a cat was let outside. Sasuke hid above the door using his chakra, and Sakura hid behind a nearby lamppost. Naruto was nowhere to be seen either, and they only assumed he was either hidden, or doing something stupid. Both Sasuke and Sakura assumed the latter.

The cat lady looked around, Sasuke found it odd that she was young, pretty, (although he’d never say it out loud) and sported healthy looking dreadlocks. She yawned and went back to bed.

Sasuke waited for Sakura to give the all clear signal and swooped down to grab some junk. He made off with a hideous potted plant with a pot that looked like a frog, and a very mossy brick that sowed no sign of ever being cleaned or fixed.

“Wherever that lady got her stuff must be a secret store,” he mumbled to Sakura, “Because I can’t think of anyplace in Konoha that sells stuff like this.”

“No kidding.”

“Okay guys, I got something good.”

They both turned at the sound of Naruto’s voice, and were shocked. Naruto had taken a construction barrier and caution tape. His two teammates looked lived, and would have yelled at him if it weren’t for the fact that the point of the game was to stay hidden.

“Naruto!” Sasuke whispered as harshly as he could, “What the hell were you thinking?”

“What?” Came the equally quiet response, “It’ll give us the win for sure.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know you are but what am I?”

“You’re a lame excuse for ninja.”

“I know you are but what am I?”

“You’re you.”

“Hey!”

The casual passerby would have missed this whole whispered banter by Sasuke and Naruto, but Sakura could hear each and every word, so she waited for them to shut up. Once they did, they headed out with their spoils to the rendezvous point.

Naruto had to carry the construction barrier.

Now for team ten

This team had been the least experienced in the game alien. Only one of them had heard of it, and he hadn’t even done it at all. It was no surprise why once one were to learn who it was that knew in this team.

“Shikamaru, you know what the (censored) game is, but you’re too lazy to play. Did you ever go out at all at nights as a kid?”

No response as her teammate was either on a concentrated lookout, or sleeping with his eyes opened. Knowing Shikamaru he must have found a way to do the latter. Ino woke him with a fierce kick to the ribs, and he woke with a start. As Ino scolded him, Chouji kept a real lookout. He didn’t mind because it kept him from doing anything overly stupid.

“I swear, you are gonna take something good,” Ino said to Shika, “Or I’ll give a whole new meaning to the word humiliating.”

Something about the look in her eye told Shikamaru she wasn’t bluffing. So he begrudgingly stood up and looked for a good house to filch something. He found it by the park, a house with tacky looking plastic daisies in the yard.

“I’m doing this place a favor.” He mumbled as he pulled out a few of the hideous fake plants.

Ino was waiting across the street with Chouji and noticed a kite sitting in the grass of the house near her. She glanced around for anyone passing, and grabbed it. Unfortunately the automatic light clicked on and the two of them raced behind a nearby tree. Ino actually climbed it to avoid contact. They saw a plump woman peek out of the curtains, then close them. When the light finally went out, they relaxed.

“You just had to push it, huh Ino?” Shikamaru whispered as he came up to her.

“Shut up,” she retorted, “At least I got something.”

She held up the kite, which was missing its tail and had some splotches of mud, but was otherwise flyable. Shikamaru held up the fake flowers and figured that hey had better move along.

Team eight

They were lucky that Kiba had done this before, because Shino had heard of it but didn’t care for it, and even if Hinata had heard of it, she would never have dared. Neither of them was surprised when Kiba said he played the game several times with his sister.

“She went for more stuff than me,” He said, “But I got my share of stuff before.”

Hinata was unsure about the whole thing, she had never even considered stealing before, so this was not going to be a cakewalk for her. She wondered if she would even have the guts for it. She tried to think ‘What would Naruto do?’ for a while, but it only distracted her for a second. She snapped out of it and paid attention.

“That looks like a good one.” Kiba said, “It has a bunch of old sports equipment just lying there in the yard.”

True enough, there was a good number of rubber balls just sitting there practically screaming ‘Take me, take me’ and the like. Good start for them as the three of them grabbed a few of the toys as Akamaru kept watch. Hinata picked up a small half-pound dumbbell sitting there as well.

After a while, Akamaru started barking, telling them to run for cover. Hinata raced up a tree, Kiba slid under a covered table, and Shino vanished altogether. From the street, a couple walked over to the house that Hinata and Kiba were hiding at.

“Shoot, they must live here.” Kiba thought as they stepped on the grass and began kissing, “Eww!”

“You will never cease to amaze me.” The girl was saying, “Care to try doing such a thing again?”

“Sure,” The guy replied smoothly, “How sturdy do you think that table is?”

“Okay,” Kiba thought, nearly wetting himself, “So neither if them live here.”

From her perch, Hinata was getting redder and redder. Unable to look anymore, she turned away and tried to think of something else, but the girl’s giggles cut too far into her thoughts. She glanced down and say them getting hot and heavy on Kiba’s hiding spot.

Kiba was freaking out, the table was not as sturdy as the pair had thought, and was creaky. It would give way any second, crushing either him or his dignity. They continued kissing for a few minutes and Kiba thought he would die.

“I love ya babe,” the guy was saying, “Wanna…”

He never got to the end of his question, for the real owner of the house opened the door and spotted them. They both screamed and ran off, while the owner gave chase. Kiba took the opportunity to sneak away and grab Akamaru on the way; Hinata followed suit.

Once they were far enough with their spoils, they gasped for breath from panicked running and waited.

“That was close.” Hinata gasped.

“I thought I was gonna die!” Kiba said.

“You chose a foolish hiding spot.” Shino said, popping up out of nowhere.

Both his teammates jumped, and asked him where he disappeared to.

“I moved into a bush.” He said flatly, “And when you both were hiding from that couple, I rang the doorbell of that man’s house, who chased them away.”

They both shrank a bit, but were thankful for him and his silent ingenuity.

“Oh, and while hiding, I found this.” He held up a duck that had apparently been killed, stuffed, and had its head misplaced all in that order. Hinata gagged at the side of it and Kiba cringed.

“Dude, where did you get that?”

“I found it.”

There was a long pause as they all silently decided it was time to move along.

And finally, team Gai

They may have been the most experienced ninja of the Konoha twelve, but they knew squat about Alien, at least the boys did.

“I used to play this all the time.” Tenten said, “A few of the kids I hung out with would take stuff, and then put it back the next day. It was fun, and because I was the only ninja trainee at the time, I was the best.”

Neji and Lee stood there listening to her story with a mild yet obvious sense of shock; they never would have pegged her to be a pro at Alien. She led them through the village and found a nice place near the park.

“The park is one of the best places,” She whispered, “Because you can hide there in a tight spot.”

As they went to a house that seemed good enough, Neji racked his brain trying to recall if Tenten had even mentioned this before, but he couldn’t find a shred of memory that said otherwise. He would have to remember to ask her more about herself later.

“Hey, we’re in luck.” Lee whispered, “This house left the back gate opened.”

Tenten raised both her hands over her head and connected them to form a circle. This was the okay signal and her teammates took it; and with Lee on guard, the other two snuck in. While they were getting stuff, Lee climbed up a tree and stood on one arm at the very top, while still keeping watch.

In the backyard, Tenten and Neji were carefully creeping around. Neji picked up a small ball and tossed it to see if there was a motion sensor light. There was none, so they walked around looking for something.

“Tenten?” Neji whispered in an attempt to break some ice, “Why did you never tell us you’ve played this before?”

“I guess it never came up.” She muttered back before shushing him.

Tenten picked up a very worn overly patched up gardening hose, and Neji, using his Byakugan, found a plastic flamingo that had a hidden plastic sword if you took the neck off, and a rubber duck that had a squeak that sounded a lot like ‘dattebayo’ if you listened hard enough.

Tenten motioned for him to follow her out the yard. Once safely out, they signaled for Lee, who was still in that upside-down position in the tree. He gave a thumbs-up, and smiled, which unfortunately for them, made his teeth ‘ping’ and alert the owner of the house, who was now awake and wondering what it was that woke him.

Neji and Tenten hid quickly as the owner, a guy in his retirement age, step out and look around. The two ninja had taken refuge under his porch. The only problem was that there was little space under there, and they were lucky they quickly put the stuff in a nearby bush, because they were pretty much cramped in there.

“I thought I heard something,” The man drawled, “Must have been a raccoon. Or did I see something? No, it must have been an owl.”

“If only you knew.” Both Tenten and Neji thought at the same time, still cramped and squished up close to each other.

“If this gets out I’ll never hear the end of it.” Neji thought.

“What do I do in this situation?” Tenten screamed inside her head.

After another moment, the man went back inside muttering something about owls and raccoons, and the two of them slid out of the tight spot as carefully as they could without any more awkward scenarios. They gathered the stuff and raced back to Lee, who apologized for nearly blowing their cover.

“You just had to smile,” Tenten sighed at him, “Just be more careful next time, okay?”

“Yosh!” Lee said a quietly as he possibly could, “I am glad that you did not get caught. It must have been nerve wracking getting stuck under there like you did. It must have been cramped in there.”

They both blushed a bit, but it was masked well by the darkness of the night. Lee didn’t notice that, but he did notice the silence.

“Come on, let’s keep going, yosh!”

And soon they met at the rendezvous point, in front of the building where the Hokage works.

Team eight was the first to get there with their things, not much later, team ten arrived, then team Gai, and team seven in tow, most of them anyway.

“Where’s Naruto?” Lee whispered

Sasuke pointed behind him and they all saw a panting Naruto carrying the construction barrier and caution tape. They all had wide eyes as they saw that he had the guts to take those things. He set them near the other stuff and asked what they were going to do next.

“We just…leave it here.” Kiba said, “That’s what our sensei’s instructions were.”

The rest nodded, but before they turned to leave, Ino got an idea.

“Before we go,” she said, “Let’s make this junk presentable.”

“P-presentable?” Hinata asked, “How?”

“Well, prop up the barrier, like so.” She did so, putting it near a tree, “Wrap the caution tape around that and the tree and put the rest in the middle.”

They all spent a good portion of time making it look funny, (the funny ones anyway. Sasuke, Neji and Shino stayed away from that department) Once they were satisfied, they all headed back home, to get some well-deserved sleep.

“Girls!” Sakura asked, “Are we staying at my place?”

They all nodded, not wanting to get caught by their parents. As they headed to Sakura’s the boys separated. Sasuke and Naruto headed to their empty apartments and flopped on the beds. Neji was able to sneak back in without anyone catching him. Kiba and Akamaru did the same at his home, and the same went for Lee as well. Shino walked inside his home without a care in the world.

The next morning

When everyone woke up that morning, the first news of the day was junk in front of the Hokage’s office. She had created quite a stir and woke a few nearby people up. Intentional or not, it had happened and now the pranksters were getting up several hours later with headaches. They headed to the site of Tsunade ranting about finding whoever did it.

“I bet it’s just some practical joke.” Someone said, “It’ll blow over soon.”

“Whoever this junk belongs to,” Tsunade started, “TAKE IT RIGHT NOW OR IT’S GOING IN THE INCINERATORS!”

“Excuse me.”

The fifth Hokage turned to see an old man, the same one Neji and Tenten had to hide from.

“Those things are mine.” He continued, “Some owls and raccoons took it.”

Another person, a girl with dreadlocks stepped up, “That’s my plant and brick.”

“My flowers!” The plump woman Shikamaru and Ino saw in the window, “I though it was just a cat, but a cat can’t take away beauty.” With that, she ran up and snatched the fake plants out of the fifth’s hands and walked off in a huff.

“Those toys and that dumbbell are mine.” The guy who saved Kiba from ‘certain doom’ came up, “Two punks were causing trouble in my yard and must have taken them.”

Tsunade sighed, “I don’t know who did this,” She said, “but if I ever find out who did it, I’ll make sure their punishment is long. Maybe I’ll break out the Chinese water torture device I got for my birthday.”

There was a deafening silence (oxymoron) as Tsunade went into her office snickering merrily with Shizune in tow. The ninja were lucky, because in the end, Tsunade decided the prankster was not going to come forward, so she had the items returned and decided to put it behind her. As she walked away, the Konoha twelve sighed in relief.

“Thank goodness for that.” Sakura said, “I doubt anyone would have believed us if we said it was for training.”

The others nodded.

“Who do you think won?” Naruto asked,

There was a silence, as nobody wanted to get into it one little bit. Kiba coughed and addressed them all.

“I don’t know about you guys,” He said, “But I say we never speak of this again.”

It was agreed.

Elsewhere

The old man, the plump woman, the dreadlocked girl, and the other man had gathered in the training woods with the things they all had retrieved. There was a whoosh and Gai appeared in front of them.

“I take it from your things that it worked.” He said.

They all smiled and there were three poof sounds and smoke. The old man became Kakashi, the plump woman became Kurenai, the younger man became Asuma, but the girl with dreads stayed as she was.

“Thanks for your help Al.” Kakashi said

“No problem,” She smiled back, “Least I could do after you helped me with the cats. After my fifth little kitty got killed I was sure I was cursed, but you helped me with some kitty stuff, but now we’re even.”

“Right.” He said, “I wonder if any of them will do this to their students?”

“Hey,” Al said, “How can they let tradition die?”

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--Fin!

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The end of my silly little fic with a lame ending, but I did have fun writing it. The girl with dreadlocks named Al is based on my older sister. Our family did have a bit of a cat death curse until the one we have now that’s the boss cat in the neighborhood, but that’s not the point. She has owned many a cat.

Hope you liked it as much as I like writing it.