ooooooooooooooo

You and I

By RekahNeko

Chapter 2 of 2

oooooooooooooooo

It started the same way I start most things, completely without any forethought or planning. One day I saw him as a good friend and the next I saw him as a possible conquest. What began as a fling though, quickly turned into something more for me.

I wonder if he understands things are different with him, he is different. He takes my angry, aggressive dominance and transforms it into something gentle, caring. I doubt he knows how unusual my behavior is with him compared with the others. When I touch him, it is with a careful awe rather than my usual careless arrogance. He has nothing to compare it to since he has never been with anyone else, and if I have anything to say about it, he never will have anything to compare it to.

I know he wants to end things between us. He will look at me with his mournful, lost expression and start to ask questions. I always shut him down before he can continue; I can’t let him leave. When he starts to have misgivings, I repeat the words I learned to say to all the girls, I want you, I need you, I love you. The first has been true since we started whatever it is that we have together. The second became true long ago, when I realized that I relied on his presence in my life. The third… I wish it were true. I wish I believed I was capable of love; I know he doesn’t think I am. No one does. How could they?

I am heartless, selfish; a Black to the core. He deserves better but I won’t let him have it.