Why I Wish I Didn't Love You

By: DemonSaya

Chapter 6: Learning to Fall

The papers had been written up in haste, with Myoga and Sango looking at him in stunned silence the entire time they put the document together. There were no loopholes in the will, nor in the trusts attached to it. He simply stared out the window, a faint smirk on his face as he spoke. His shares in the company were happily divided between as many people as possible, his position expressly left to Sesshoumaru. He left most of his belongings to Sango and Shippou, a young man who was going to wind up inheriting is own father's company.

His money he left to an object.

He left it to the Building of the Starving Artists. He intended for it to be purchased, then given, free of charge, to it's occupants. They wouldn't have to scrape up the money for rent ever again.

“Sesshoumaru isn't going to like this.” Sango said softly, when the small lawyer had left. She laced her fingers together, resting her elbows on her knees, looking at him from under her eyebrows.

“Keh, like I care. It's my damn life.” Inuyasha stared out the window at the cloud covered sky. “This isn't about what he wants. It's about what I want.” His hand reached up, lightly touching his lips. A strange yearning filled him and he watched closely as the first raindrops fell on the window. “Sango, I need to tell you something in confidence. It can't leave this room.”

Sango examined her boss and friend for a long moment, then nodded.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Kagome returned to the hospital each day following, but her courage always seemed to fail at the entrance of his door. She'd see him laying there, eyes closed and the rabbit inside would take control and she'd run away.

Okay, maybe taking control of her life was easy. Taking control of her fear was not. She was desperately uncertain about seeing him after what had happened last time they were together. Deeply etched into her mind was the feeling of his lips against hers. Coward that she was, she didn't want to hear him tell her that it could never happen. She knew that. Dammit, she knew.

Today, however, would be different. Today had to be.

She walked to the hospital room and took a steadying breath, not looking through the little window that would allow her to see the boy in the room. Instead, she rested her hand on the door and slowly pushed it open.

Only to find a nurse making the bed. Her breath caught. “Where's Inuyasha?”

“He was discharged last night.” The nurse said calmly, not even looking up.

“Oh...” Her heart fell and she backed from the room, closing the door. She was too late. He was already gone. She fumbled, pulling her cell phone from her pocked and examined it closely. No missed calls.

He hadn't called.

Kagome sighed sadly, then closed it, slipping it into her pocket. Today was her only day off this week. She'd been looking forward to seeing him again, despite the fear. Looking forward to spending the day with him. She walked from the hospital and out onto the street, looking around, despite knowing he wouldn't be there.

She sighed, resigning herself to an uneventful night at home, and started heading up the street, back to her apartment. She barely noticed the rain as it started to fall around her, only shivering a bit at the chill.

As she walked, police cars screamed in the opposite direction, followed by a fire truck.

She shivered, rubbing roughly at her arms to get the blood circulating properly again. When she reached the apartment, she jogged up the stairs and ducked into her apartment. She threw off her soaked clothing, donning her favorite sweats and her faded terrycloth robe and warmest slippers.

Wrapping her hair in a towel, she headed into her kitchen, filling her kettle with water for tea.

She walked to the small window and stared outside at the overcast sky, glad to be in her warm dry apartment. It felt like autumn was coming on fast, and she sighed softly. Her birthday would be soon, and it looked like it would once again be spent hiding in her apartment, trying to pretend that she wasn't twenty-five and alone.

Maybe she'd get the day off from work and start on that damn novel...

The tea kettle shrilled and she hurried to pull it off the stove. Picking her favorite herbal tea, she poured the hot water over the tiny silk bag and hummed softly to herself. She drug her computer chair by the window and watched as the city lights winked on, one-by-one.

A sharp bang on her door pulled her out of her thoughts and she blinked, jumping when the noise repeated. Miroku was working, Kaede had gone out to market. She was pretty much alone in the building. She grabbed her gun, hiding it behind her back and crept to the door. She wrenched it open and let out a shriek when someone fell against her, pushing her back into the apartment and knocking her only weapon from her hands.

The man's hair was black. She could tell it was a man because no breasts pressed against her chest. He was also bleeding rather badly. “Oh, shit...” She whispered, adjusting her hold on whoever had nearly knocked down her door. “Oh shit...”

“K'gome...”

The pained sound filtered upwards to her ears and she wrenched the towel from her hair, wrapping it around the dripping form. “Come on, it's okay...” She urged, leading him into her bathroom. The long wet hair clung lightly to her skin. It was soft. “Come on, sit-”

Hands caught her arms tightly and she found herself staring into violet eyes. But the shape, the face, they were too familiar to ignore. “I-Inuyasha?” She whispered, dumbstruck.

He was shivering. His eyes were dazed. His clothing was soaked. Most of it was probably also ruined. “Hurts...” He complained, resting his head against the tile wall.

“I'll be right back...” She whispered. Then, she pressed a light kiss to his forehead and ran to her living room, closing her door with a slam and throwing the bolt quickly. She also locked the chain to be safe. She didn't know what had happened, or why Inuyasha was there, but there he was, bleeding on the floor of her bathroom.

She ran to her closet, pulling down her first aid kit and some extra towels. There, and for all practical purposes, human. He was going to have to explain that one to her. When she found everything she needed, she headed back to the bathroom, finding him still sitting against the tile wall.

“Bloody hell...” He mumbled when warm hands touched his icy skin. He forced his eyes open and found himself looking into blue eyes that were darkened slightly to gray. “Hiya...” He tried to smirk, but it hurt too much.

Kagome gave a weak excuse for a smile and began peeling off the leather jacket. “Come on, I'll treat the wounds...” She said. It was the only thing she could think to say. When the jacket was laying in a pile in the corner of the room, she started to work on the t-shirt he wore under it. It was sticking to his skin and the wounds, so she gave up and ripped it down the middle.

A rough chuckled stopped her. She looked up and saw his hazy eyes looking at her with amusement. A dark blush colored her face and she looked away, opening the shirt and wincing. Gently, she eased the shirt off his shoulders. His skin looked partially melted, and the areas that were bleeding looked dark and infected. Gently, she touched one of the dark areas and blinked when the skin lightened and looked distinctly less pussy. “What happened to you?” She whispered, her face sad.

“Somebody's trying to kill me. Would have succeeded if I wasn't near here...” He groaned when her warm little hand prodded a wound gently. “Fucking human night...” He muttered.

She wasn't imagining it. The wounds she touched were lightening. “You'll have to explain that to me later.” She said, reaching for the fly of his pants, jumping when hands grasped her wrists gently. She looked up and saw amusement.

“I promise, there aren't any wounds down there.”

She flushed, and huffed. “Then take them off yourself and cover your bits with a towel.” She snapped at him, tossing a towel in his face. She walked to the shower and turned the water on, testing the temperature with her wrist. When it was warm, she hesitantly glanced back at the boy leaning against the wall.

He had a towel draped carelessly over his lap, but besides that he was naked. He was staring aimlessly at the wall.

Kagome walked over and gently pulled his arm over her shoulder, helping him get to the bath. “Clean up. I'll see if I can find you some clean clothes.” She said, then left him there. She cleaned up the blood with another towel and then dumped it in the pile of laundry rapidly forming in her hall. Then, she found her spare key to Miroku's apartment and went to raid her best friends closet.

Inuyasha, meanwhile, sat under the warm spray, letting it hit his human body, staring at his human hands. He wasn't lying when he said his proximity to this apartment had saved his life. He wouldn't have made it to the hospital in time for them to treat the wounds sustained from the Miasma, and it seemed the ones Kagome had been checking were significantly better already. That could only mean she had miko blood. Idly, he wondered if the little waitress knew.

He closed his eyes, taking steady breaths. He could still remember the feel of her hands tearing the shirt off of him. It made him smile, brought things to mind that he hadn't thought of since puberty. His forehead tingled from where her lips had lightly pressed. Idly, he wondered why she hadn't returned to the hospital to visit him.

The door to the bathroom opened and he heard the sound of someone moving around. “Kagome?” He asked quietly.

“Hm.” Came the response. “I borrowed some sweats from Miroku. They should be about the right size.” A moments hesitation. “Are you alright?”

“Do you actually care?” His voice came out a bit more cross than he'd intended. She hadn't cared enough to visit him in the hospital.

The voice went cold. “I'm leaving them on the counter.”

He sighed, lightly smacking the back of his head against the side of the shower stall. When the door closed, he grabbed the towel and wrapped it around himself, carefully drying the wounds. He found the sweats and a pair of clean boxers and put the boxers and pants on, leaving his chest bare. It would only reopen the wounds if he wore anything against them.

He toweled his hair, staring at himself in the fogged mirror. One hand wiped some of the fog away and he sighed. “You're a complete asshole.” He muttered, fighting the urge to slam his fist into the mirror and break it. There was no point procrastinating. He wrapped the damp towel around his shoulders and left the bathroom, finding Kagome sitting at the coffee table, a steaming cup of tea clasped between her hands. There was another sitting on it, an obvious invitation. “I'm sorry.” He said, moving around the couch and sitting beside her, pulling the mug towards himself.

She didn't speak at first, simply sipped her cup. “How could you ask that?” She asked softly. “How can you think...” She bit her lip furiously. “Of course I care. You're my friend.” She looked towards him, hurt evident on her face.

He stared into his mug, sniffing the tea that should have smelled stronger than it did. With a sigh, he looked towards her. “I'm an asshole, Kagome.” He said bluntly. “I'm an asshole and I have a foul temper, especially when I'm like this.” He drained half of the tea, relishing the feel of it scalding his throat.

She looked back at the table. “How did you wind up like this, anyways?” She glanced towards his chest, seeing the wounds she'd touched had nearly faded but the others were still dark and rather frightening.

He set the cup back on the table. If they talked about this, it would change things. Things were already changing, but if he didn't talk about this, they would stop, and it would keep things comfortable. Familiar. If he shared this part of himself, this part that he hadn't shared with anyone outside his family, it would change things. He slowly looked at her and saw a concerned look on her face and his decision was made.

It was worth it.

“I'm a hanyou, Kagome. My mother was human. Once a month, a hanyou's demon blood wanes and his human blood becomes dominant.” He said softly. “Mine occurs on the night of the new moon. When the sun comes up, I'll be a hanyou again.”

“I...I didn't know that.” She admitted. She saw the awkward expression on his face and realized he'd never told anyone.

He shifted uncomfortably. “Truth is, most people don't. Hanyou tend to be on guard that night, they hide, because they're vulnerable. It's not as bad anymore, but a long time ago, hanyou were hunted by humans and youkai, and they were killed. I guess it's been written into our genetic code to hide this kind of thing viciously.” He looked away to hide the blush forming on his face. “You...you're the first person outside of my family to know this.” He admitted.

Kagome's eyes widened at the admission. Blushing, she stared into her tea. She wasn't sure how to respond to that. She could feel him shaking and looked towards him, seeing him looking into his empty mug. Gently, she reached over and brushed the hair back from his face. Her hand stilled when she saw the faint flush. “Inuyasha...”

He looked towards her, about to say he should go when her lips lightly touched his. His breath sighed out of him and he caught her hand, threading his fingers through hers. Neither of them deepened the kiss, and that was okay. When they parted, Inuyasha looked at her, his eyes shaded slightly. “Why?”

“I don't know.” Kagome admitted, not pulling her hand from his. There were emotions clouding her eyes. Emotions he couldn't read.

He didn't like not being able to read her. “Why didn't you come to visit me? You promised.”

“Why didn't you call me?” She shot back.

He squirmed uncomfortably. His eyes refused to meet hers. Finally, he sighed, looking at her in the face. She was surprised by the depth of honesty in his eyes. “Because I wasn't sure I wanted us to get too close.”

Her eyes went wide from shock. “What...?”

A sigh escaped him and he pulled his hand from hers, standing and starting to pace. “It was fine, you know. We weren't friends, I just walked you back here, and asked you a bunch of questions. Not personal questions...” He threw up his hands in frustration. “Friendly, but not friends. Then, before I knew what was happening, you were my friend. I don't have a lot, in case you didn't notice.”

He paused briefly, his face torn, confused. “I liked spending time with you, and it seemed that you liked spending time with me. We could talk easily, and that's not something I'm used to, and I started liking it. I liked being able to talk freely, about whatever was on my mind, about anything I wanted...” He looked down at her, his face tired, frustrated. “You weren't fake. I wasn't used to that...”

Her face softened and a small smile turned up the corners of her lips. “Inuyasha...”

“The more time I spend with you, the more time I WANT to spend with you, and I'm starting to worry...that if we get closer...I wont want to leave.” He resumed pacing. “I've been going over this again and again in my head. You like where you are, you like what you do. You enjoy the life you live. I remember what happened to my mother when dad drug her into this world I live in. It destroyed her. I can't do that to you...” Pain filled him and he fisted his hands. “I can't.”

Kagome felt tears dancing in her eyes. She forced herself to stare at the carpet. What was she supposed to say to that? He liked her, he admitted as much. But he 'couldn't' be with her. She fought the urge to laugh. “You can stay here for the night.” She said mechanically. “I'm kind of tired, so I should go to-” Hands gently touched her shoulders and she fiercely bit her lip. “I'm going to bed.” She said, standing and walking down the hall.

Miroku was right. It was better that this happened now. Better now than later, when she may have fallen for him fully. Better now, when she could still hold together the pieces of a broken heart.

She hesitated at the entrance of her room and glanced down the hall, finding him kneeling in the same place on the floor, his head lowered. “Goodnight.” She offered, her eyes sad.

There was a snort from the hanyou turned human in her living room. No other response. So she opened the door to her room and walked in, closing it behind her. Tears filled her eyes once again and she lay on her bed, facing towards her window, curling up and crying.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Kagome's phone rang shrilly, pulling her out of her uneasy sleep. She put the phone to her ear and yawned. “House of God, Moses speaking...”

There was a sound that distinctly reminded her of a snort. “Kagome, that's just wrong.”

Her face turned up into a slight smile. “Souta...” She said softly, snuggling deeper into her covers. “What's up?”

“Insomnia.” The boy said. “I drank eight coffee's at dinner. Hojo came over. I told mom it was either caffeine or I start smoking a pack a day.” Her brother was smiling on the other end, she could tell. “Don't you know some guy called Inuyasha Kurokawa?”

“Hmmm...” She agreed. Of course she'd talked to Souta about him. He wouldn't go blabbing to her mother. “Why?”

“Because he died yesterday.”

Kagome jerked upright, her eyes going wide. “What?!” She asked, hands fisting in her blankets. “What are you talking about?”

“I'm watching JNN. It's Breaking News. At three pm, Inuyasha Kurokawa was involved in an explosion that wounded several civilians. He is now missing, presumed dead-”

Kagome went deathly still. That explained the wounds. But that didn't explain how said demon was presently human and sleeping on her couch. “Souta. I'll call you back later.” She said softly. She hung up the phone and sprang out of bed. She didn't bother grabbing her robe or slippers, merely ran into the living room, wearing nothing but an over-sized t-shirt.

The television was on, set to the anime network, volume very low. The boy was laying on her couch, eyes closed in sleep, his mouth hanging slightly open. The faint sound of him snoring was barely noticeable over the tv and sounds of Miroku practicing next door. Kagome flopped down on the floor by his head.

Gently, she brushed some hair from his face. The action caused him to stir and his eyes opened slowly. “Turn it to the news.” She said softly, seeing the surprise on his face.

He groaned, flipping it to the news and rolled away from the TV. Till he heard his name announced. His head whipped back and he stared wide-eyed at the news.

“Inuyasha Kurokawa is missing, presumed dead after a gas main exploded this afternoon, wounding several...”

They sat in silence, watching the news for several minutes until it changed to a different story. Then, Kagome switched the television off. “Why do they think you're dead?” She asked, resting her hands on the TV. “Surely your brother-”

He coughed softly. “My brother knows it's my human night. If I'm not there, I'm dead as far as he, as far as anyone knows.”

She looked at him, stunned. “What about your phone, they'd have tried to call-”

“It got busted when I landed.” He said. He didn't sound sorry. Hell, he didn't sound worried. There was actually a trace of relief in his voice.

“Inuyasha, they're probably worried sick, why haven't you called anyone?!”

He looked at her, seeing confusion on her face. “I didn't think about it till now.” He admitted, looking down at his hands. A phone was shoved into it and he frowned, looking up at her.

“Call him.” She said softly.

He started to dial, then stopped. He stared at the beginnings of his brother's number and then looked at the girl standing over him. If he finished dialing this number, he would have to go back to the rat race. If he didn't, if he hung up, he might have a chance at more. A chance with her. Slowly, he hung up the phone and tossed it behind him. “No.” He said softly.

Kagome stared at him in shock. “But-”

Inuyasha silenced her by grabbing her wrists and pulling her against his chest. He heard her breath rush out of her and winced when the t-shirt scrubbed against the still oozing sores. Without another word, he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips against hers. Her hands flexed slightly against his chest, nails digging through the fabric and into his skin. He coaxed her gently, slipping one hand into her fragrant hair, trailing the other down her spine. When the need for air out-weighed the need to continue the kiss, he rested his forehead against hers. “If I go back, I can't keep you.” He whispered.

Kagome's eyes flew wide at that and she pulled back a bit, hands resting on his shoulders. She searched his gaze, seeing desperation there. “You can't hide forever.” She whispered back, cupping his face gently.

He smirked. “I can try.” He said, pulling her mouth back to his, drowning in her kiss.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

AN: Wow! Another chapter! Yay! Everyone, do a happy dance! LOL This is actually something I've been planning for awhile, I just wasn't sure how I was going to swing it. I like it this way for now, but that might change. Until/if it does, here ya go. Thankies to everyone who reviewed last chapter, and those people who think this piece of freewriting is good enough to fav! Love ya'll to pieces! And as usual, please leave a note telling me what you think! I love to hear from you! Love, Peace, and puppy-eared dog demons!