A/N: Yes, well, this update took longer than expected. Anyawy, whether you think this is funny, cheesy or stupid, my mission is complete if you laugh at least once. And thanks to all who reveiwed the first chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Booster.

A Parody of the Choosing Part II

It is a rare, quiet moment on a drag-way in Dragon City. A moment which Slugy the draco-slug is using to mutter and groan about yesterday’s events. His anger had not subsided; instead it had manifested in his mind, ever since that wretched human had thrown him into the mess a dragon had made.

He crawled along the draconian street, fuming. Suddenly… whoosh…pfffttt…whoosh…zip…pffft…whoosh…zip…whoosh… No, Slugy wasn’t passing gas, those were the sounds of a dragon race! And Slugy was right in the middle of one!

“Squeak?”

The powerful dragons thundered past him, their monstrous feet nearly squashing him. Slugy ran this way and that. He went a few millimeters this way, but then he got scared and tried running back as fast as he could possibly go. A few millimeters in that direction, and he changed course again.

Finally, as the last of the overgrown lizards whoosed past, Slugy had a time to catch his breath. But then, suddenly again…whoosh…pffffffftwhoosh… the last dragon passed. Though that last sound had been Slugy passing gas. Slugy fanned the air around him with his tail as he looked around to see if anyone could smell it. He blushed. Princes did not usually do that.

Then he continued crawling to the Slime Nation. He had gone five millimeters when he stopped abruptly. What was he doing? Did the prince of the Slime Nation of draco-slugs run home to his father? NO! Slugy narrowed his eyes. He would deal with that rude human himself. Ominous music played as he followed the dragons, remembering that he had seen the human ride one of them, for this was indeed an ill-omened moment. Really.

--

Beau’s feet pounded on the track as he tried to at least keep up with the other racers. Artha and he had raced before, just a few races, but they had not yet unlocked the glorious secret as to how to avoid becoming last in every single race in very embarrassing situations. The worst had been when Artha’s pants had fallen down right at the beginning of the race and stayed down for the remainder. As everyone knows, it’s hard to pull up your pants on a speeding dragon with a bunch of other racers hitting you with sticks.

Compared to their previous races, this race was going wonderfully! Even though they were in last place, this was still the best race they had yet! Beau grinned, flashing his stunningly white teeth. Several people standing too close to the track were blinded.

But as Beau ran beautifully along, Artha began to shake the handles violently. Beau’s spirits sank. Artha had either eaten beans before the race, or he was freaking out again. Beau’s sprits sank further and then drowned. And it had seemed like they were going to finish with dignity.

“No…no…” Artha began moaning. Beau looked up at Artha, worried.

“No…I can’t watch…” Beau frowned. Was Artha scared of the speed he was running at? Beau wished he could do something to help his dear friend!

Then Artha cried and leaned forward to the VIDDscreen. Beau quickly looked around for an off ramp. He had to get help! A tear ran down Artha’s cheek. “Curse you, Hotty!” Beau grunted in surprise. Hotty? That was the main character from the new soap, All My Dragon’s Children.

Beau looked above his head, and saw Artha watching his VIDDscreen, which was tuned into that very show. Beau narrowed his eyes. How in the Magna Draconis could Artha race while watching that?

Artha began to sob at the overpowering drama on the show. “I don’t believe it! Hotty just ran over Sue with is dragon because he wants to kill her, and now she needs serious surgery! And Hotty’s going to be her surgeon! But their long lost kid showed up, but he’s not their son after all…he’s Sue’s brother! And now…”

Beau growled at Artha, who looked down at him with a questionable expression. “What?” Beau nodded to the race they were in, to which Artha huffed, “why bother? We haven’t been doing too good lately.”

“I mean,” Artha went on, “I’ve never even wanted to race dragons.” Beau looked around anxiously as sad violin music began to play. Artha sighed heavily, as if he were bearing the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. “But that all changed, the night the Dragon Eye crew tried to steal you.” Beau rolled his eyes as Artha tried to use his grownup voice again.

“The night I lost my father. The night I was CHOSEN!” Artha nearly yelled, which was stupid of him to do so; however, his voice was quite deep and commanding. The sad, sad violin music gave way to a growing symphony. “Chosen to be the world’s last hope for survival! YEA, it is I who must brave the dark barriers of our planet, to save all humanity from a coming war! HARK, the ill winds blow forth. It is coming.” Artha finished and hung his head solemnly.

A racer clapped his hands from beside them, to which Artha bowed, flattered yet modest at the same time.

“Beau,” Artha said with renewed determination as the other racer continued to watch them and clap, then hit a low hanging beam. “I’m the Dragon Booster. We need to stop watching All My Dragon’s Children (for now), and find the crew responsible for destroying the stables! THEN I SHALL SAVE THE WORLD!”

Beau grinned and roared with happiness. Now this was the Dragon Booster he wanted to see!

Far behind, in blind fury and with a brave heart, charged Slugy. Dun, dun, dun.

--

After the race, and after Artha got too excited, and after he came back with a new pair of pants on, Beau and he came to Parm and Lance.

Parm quipped in a happy tone. “Second place! That’s pretty good!”

“I know,” Artha said enthusiastically, “I mean, I’m not last!”

Lance crossed his arms. “But the race was only out of three people, and you only got second because the one wasn’t paying attention to the rac….”

Artha, who was rather irritated by his brother’s frankness, interrupted him quickly. “Look Lance! Draconee-yum bars!”

“Where?”

“Over there, away from us.”

“OUT OF MY WAY!” Lance sped off in the general direction while Beau opened his mouth wide, drool flowing everywhere, (which was rather disgusting) and swiftly followed him, accidentally knocking Parm and Artha over with his tail. With various grunts and exclamations of, “newts galore, that hurt!” Parm and Artha rubbed their heads and looked at each other.

“Good thinking Artha……………did I honestly just say that?” Parm covered his mouth, astonished.

“Yeah,” Artha giggled, still on the ground beside his friend. “My brain made a thought.”

“Good for you, Artha. Well, now we can talk without you getting discouraged by the cold, hard truth.” Parm brushed himself off and stood.

Artha flipped his hand around. “Please, racing isn’t that hard. I’m already getting the hang of it.”

“I know,” Parm said. “I admit, you are improving rather dramatically. You’re improving quite quickly for someone who’s never even sat on a dragon before.”

“What did you expect? I’m the Sue Booster.”

Parm nodded, then held up a finger. “But, you’re still far behind in point standings. You’ll need to drastically improve further, otherwise, they’ll drop you from the All City Race Circuit!”

Artha stared blankly at him. “But then I’ll have more free time right?”

“Well, yes, but…”

“Then I can play my VIDDgames more, practice my dancing…”

“Artha,” Parm slapped a hand to his forehead. “You need the drakkals to get food! You can only get a good amount from the races.”

“Oh, so you’re saying my dancing scrapes scales? Like I can’t dance well enough to earn enough drakkals that way?”

“Yes,” Parm said bluntly, “and I doubt you’ll find the Dragon Eye crew by dancing on the street corner.”

“That is a good point.” Artha said, rubbing his chin. “Unless…”

“No Artha, I doubt they actually like your dancing.”

Artha then fumed and pouted as Lance and Beau came back, both of which had managed to find some draconee-yum bars, which wasn’t hard, seeing as they were everywhere in the city.

“So…(munchy munchy)…what happened?” Lance sad whilst eating his candy.

“Artha has to train more,” Parm said. Artha pretended not to hear him. “But not to worry, we’re here for him.”

“His best buds!” Lance said energetically.

“Not just his buds, but his acquainted playmates, his friendly associates, his sociable chums…”

“Hey!” Artha chimed in. “You guysys cn be mah racing team! Won that be fun?”

Lance sighed. “It would be if you raced better. You stunk today.”

“Why did you come back?” Artha glared at his little brother.

“He has a point.” Parm interjected, backing Lance up. “You seemed to be distracted during the race…more so than usual.”

Artha glared at Parm and Lance. “I was not!”

Lance didn’t believe him for a millisecond. “You were too. You were…watching something. Was it Bob the Racer again?”

“NO! I grew out of that show!”

“Yeah, last week.”

“But I don’t watch it anymore. Now I watch growedup shows. I was watching All My Dragon’s Children.”

Parm gasped and put his hands to his face in pure joy. “Really? I missed this weeks episode! I only heard spoilers. What happened?”

“Well,” Artha began excitedly. “Ya know Sue? She like, got into a total accident.”

“No!”

“Totally. Guess who ran over her with his dragon? Hotty!”

Parm leaned forward in lyk, total excitement. “What? He really did? I heard he ran over her because she cheated on him with McCutie.”

Artha stared at him. “He did! McCutie and Sue are so cute together!”

Parm nodded his head quickly. “I know!” Then they both covered their mouths with trembling hands and jumped up and down, squealing. Lance just stared at them.

“Lance?”

Lance turned away from the rabid AMDC fans, and saw Kitt. “Kitt?”

Kitt stopped in front of Lance with Wyldfyr behind her. “I saw stable boy racing earlier today. I thought, since I heard what the Dragon Eye crew did to your stables, that I might give him some pointer…”

Kitt had just noticed Artha and Parm dancing and squealing in a little circle, so happy that Sue and McCutie had gotten together.

“Run while you still can.” Lance helpfully suggested. Kitt nodded her head slowly, and spent the rest of the day getting the new image of the stable boy out of her mind. How very unracer-like of him.

--

From a level above, looking down at Artha Penn and his crew, was Moordryd Paynn.

“What be this?” He asked angrily, and put down the ice cream he had been licking rather happily. He looked intently through his binocs at them. “Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo……………………………….ooooooooooooo……………………oo……….”

Cain, who was standing beside him and who had just begun to roll his eyes, said, “so they’ve survived the destruction of the stables.”

“As I said. And look what they’re doing now! He’s dancing for drakkals on the street corner!” Moordryd seethed. Cain could dimly hear catchy music.

“So what?”

“It’s outrageous! He’s doing a belly dance!” Moordryd tore his eyes away from his binocs in disgust.

“He’s doing more than that.” Cain sneered. Moordryd looked at him in truly wide-eyed horror.

“What more could he be doing?”

“No, no! Not with the dancing. He’s racing now too.”

“Racing? Ha…Ha…Ha…Ha.” Moordryd laughed, which was hard for such an emotionally controlled guy such as himself. (Or so he told himself.)

“I don’t know,” Cain said as he looked through Moordryd’s binocs. “Cool dragon.”

“His dragon is not cool.”

“It looks cool.”

“You’re looking through the binocs backwards, idiot.”

Cain just then realized how tiny the dragon was, when it was supposed to be bigger. He grinned sheepishly and turned the binocs around. First, he saw Artha’s wonderful belly dance, and almost lost his lunch. Regaining his composure, he turned the binoc to the ‘cool’ dragon…

“GAhhhh! It burns!” He dropped the binocs to the ground. Penn’s dragon was showered in sparkles, painted a bright pink, orange, yellow and lime green (all to attract people to the dance show) and doing his very own belly dance.

Moordryd scoffed at the dancing duo below. “Cain, get as much bad-scale, butt-whooping gear onto my dragon, Decepshun, as she can mag!”

“But that’ll just slow you both down, especially with the butt-whooping gear. This is a speed race!”

“I know. But I still win if I’m the last one standing. Cain, get ready our secret weapon.”

“Which one?”

“The big one.”

“Which big one?”

“The big, yellow one.”

“Oh, I gotcha.”

“But it’s not the big, yellow and mushy one. That one’s rotten.

“I wouldn’t have picked that one anyway. I ain’t dumb.”

“Whatever. Just have it by the track, just in case.”

Far away, and completely unrelated to Moordryd and Cain’s conversation, and still charging onward with great haste, crawled Slugy. Dun Dun DUN!

--

Artha stretched his arms, preparing for the day’s race. Suddenly, a loud voice boomed over the loud speakers, startling him and causing him to fall out of his saddle, yet another race Artha could add to his growing list of embarrassing races. And it hadn’t even started yet.

“GOOD MORNING DRAGON CITY HOW ARE YOU I’m BUDGE I’m YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBOORHOOD RACE MARSHALL I’m EXCITED FOR THIS RACEAREN’T YOUYOU SHOUL DBE THERE A HUGE GRAND PRIZE…THEN THOUSAND DRAKKALS DON’T EAT TOO MUCHCHOCOLATE I DON’T KNOW WHY HEY ITS ABOUT TO BEGIN LETS MEET THE CONTESTANTS!”

Budge took an opportunity to gasp for breath from his tirade. Then he opened several candy bars and stuffed them all into his mouth, and continued his opening to the race. “mgLETs ffgmMEET mmmgsfWINmmfSANDWICHnamnamnamnam DUCKmmfgmeateat. Mfgm nam yum mfgh NOW!”

Everyone looked at each other in confusion, not sure Budge would have made any sense even if his mouth hadn’t been full of candy. At any rate, he began to introduce the competitors, thankfully coherently.

“KITT WONN!”

Kitt waved to the crowd, and the crowd cheered extravagantly.

“ARTHA PENN!”

Artha stood up from the ground, brushed himself off sheepishly, then mounted Beau.

“MOoRDRYD PAYIN!”

Moordryd waved to the crowd, cringing from Budge’s lack of ability in spelling and grammar. Though it was so much worse when an over excited fan fell out of her seat, swooning.

“It’s MOORdrdypayynn!OMG!lyk, marry me ur so cute! Woodnt our kids lok so hoooooooooot? (giggles uncontrollably, causing the drink she was drinking to come out of her nose) omigosh, did I sresislly, lyk, just do that? Don lok at me!”

Moordryd groaned and held his head, and tried to avoid looking at the obsessed female. Did I mention she was wearing a T-shirt that read, “I 3 Moordryd,” in big, pink lettering? There was also a lot of shiny glitter, making the girl her very own light show.

Budge went on to mention the other racers, but I won’t waste time in describing who they were. Let’s say they were, oh, Ferryt and Spynn and someone else. And then one more person to make it odd, and another to make it even again.

When Artha was once again settled comfortably in his saddle, he looked carefully around himself before activating his VIDDscreen.

“But Sue…”

“No Hotty, I cannot.”

“But SUE! I am…I’m not…”

“What?”

“What?” Artha repeated and moaned into the VIDD screen, totally into the show. Beau looked up at him and then rolled his eyes. Not again.

Then the screen began to flicker, and Parm’s huge, friendly face filled the screen. “Hello!”

“Nooooooo!” Artha wailed.

“There, I fixed your VIDDscreen!”

“Nooooooo!” Artha wailed again.

“Now you can’t watch All My Dragon’s Children during the race.”

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

--

The race was about to begin, and Artha was distracted. Kitt was looking at him strangely, and Artha took it as a sign of affection. Kitt, on the other hand, was wondering how much All My Dragon’s Children he really watched, and whether he squealed often, which she found profusely unappealing.

Then, as Artha was still staring at Kitt, making cute kissy faces at her, as Kitt turned away in disgust, as Moordryd’s #1 fan got a front row seat, and as Cain lugged the big, yellow, secret weapon to the track, the race started. And we all know what happened to Artha.

He sneezed, was disgusted at what was left on his hands, and since his hands were held up before him, he was unable to grab the racing handles as Beau sped off. But he did, however, manage to somehow hold onto the racing handles with his feet and wave his hands around while whining, “icky, icky!”

Needless to say, all the racers tried to avoid him.

“Artha!” Parm called out as the VIDDscreen popped up.

“Parmon, I need a tissue!”

“Wipe it on your pants or something. You’ve got to race!”

“What?”

“Artha! You’re last!”

Artha groaned and Beau magged him upright into a proper sitting position. Artha looked around, holding his hands away from his body, then looked down at Beau and wiped his hands on Beau’s head. Beau was not pleased.

“Grrrrrrrrrrr!”

Artha, happy that his hands were clean, took hold of the handles and went into a dramatic racing position. “Onward dragon!”

Beau narrowed his eyes and magged him into the air. Artha shrieked and flapped his arms around like a crow-drag who had just spun around fifty times and then attempted to fly straight. So far Artha was the highlight of the race.

Beau magged Artha back onto the saddle, ‘accidentally’ dropping him onto a certain spot on his head.

“Arrggghhh! I’ve got snot on my bottom!”

--

Seven minutes, twenty seven seconds, but now twenty eight seconds later, Artha was focused on the race, and actually wasn’t last. Surprise! Let this be a lesson to you all, hard work and practice really does pay off. But when that doesn’t work, hope that everyone else in the race beats each other up while you stay safely away. Which is what Artha did. He now faces a good chance of perhaps being possibly not last…maybe.

Kitt did a few radical moves (dude!) and noticed Artha up ahead. She was mildly surprised that he was doing so good. Artha was too.

“Yayyipee! Look at me!”

Kitt and Wyldfyr ran up beside him. “Stable boy! Don’t move your draconium controller so far back. You want to push it forward!”

“Really?” Artha asked and stopped pulling the controller back. Beau rolled his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. Now he wouldn’t have to go against what the controller had been telling him to do. Artha was lucky to have him. What would he do with a normal dragon?

Kitt rolled her eyes. “You’ll have a lot easier time now.”

“Thank you,” Artha called over. “Woul dyou lyk two ge som dinnr together sometin“

“What?”

“I sid, wod u lik to gegtsom edin nr together som tine?”

“I can’t understand you. I think it may be the wind.”

“I SID WNT T G UOT WTH M? MYB TNGHT?”

Kitt shook her head. “I still can’t hear you. We’ll talk after the race, okay? Hyyah!”

“WIAT!” Artha called. But Kitt was already too far ahead. “Oh, snap,” Artha muttered glumly. “I have to catch up with her. I want to ask her something!”

Artha began to think about what she’d said, and pushed the controllers forward. Beau sped up. “Yeah, now we’re getting somewhere!”

Yes they were indeed. Artha and Beau weren’t falling behind as fast as before. Artha sighed. “We have to go faster yet. And all I have is white flying gear and red makes-you-go-faster gear.” Artah sighed in disgust. What could he possibly do? Then he remembered his father’s wise, wise words…

The sue is power! Release the sue inside you. Relax and release the power, release the sue! Got that? Artha? Hellooooooooooooo? Artha! Artha, were you even listening?

Apparently he had been. No one was more surprised than Artha himself. And no one was more happy that he had remembered that right at this point in time. Now he could catch up to Kitt and ask her! “Release the sue…release the sue…sue…Sue! What was Hotty going to say to her? Arghh, I missed it! Ooohhh!”

And Artha despondently sank into despondent despondency because of his limited attention span. And everyone else raced on ahead, and even Slugy began to gain ground on him. But then again, he had hitchhiked onto another dragon in the race. That particular dragon, Ferryt and his dragon, were beginning to catch up to Artha. Slugy chuckled evilly, then broke out into an evil laugh that rivaled those of Word Payyn. He was getting closer. Dun DUN DUN!

“I can’t believe Parm cut me off right as Hotty was about to…hey!” Beau shook his head and growled at Artha. “What? Oh, the race.”

Artha went back into his position of concentration; the position most people would assume and chant such sounds like, ohmmmm, or in Propheci’s case, dooommmmm, or for Artha, duhhhhh.

“Duuuuhhhhh, release the sue….duuuhhhh, release the sue….duuuhhhh, release the sue….”

Slugy’s evil laughs reached their climax. Ferryt was right beside Beau, and Slugy was too. He began to reach out with his tail, chuckling with the horror he was about to unleash on the human.

Then Beau sped up and left him in a cloud of dust. Slugy, the greatest of all draco-slug warriors, looked after them with an open mouth, then screamed. Ferryt dimly head a high pitched squeal of some sorts and thought he had forgotten to oil his dragon’s gears.

“Duuuuhhhh, release the sue…..”

Beau sped up drastically, creating a vortex around himself. Whooosssooooshhh!

“Duuuhhhh, release the sue…”

Beau passed a few racers.

“Duuuhhhh, release the sue…”

Artha got a few splattered bugs on his visor. Beau got them in his not-so-shiny-anymore teeth.

“Duuuhhhh, release the sue…”

Beau had to admit bugs weren’t as disgusting to eat as some people may want you to believe.

“Duuuhhhh, release the sue…”

Artha and Beau passed Kitt.

“Duuuhhuhuh, releae teh sue…”

And because of Artha’s lapse in spelling, the vortex he had created around Beau disappeared, and they returned to regular speed. Artha looked around for Kitt, but found his visor slightly green and sticky.

“Kitt? Kitt? Oh, I passed her. Beau, we need to slow down.”

Beau shook his head. “Artha?” Parm asked, coming on his VIDDscreen. “Artha, how did you do that?”

“With mah special sue powers. Duh. But I passed Kitt!”

“That’s the point. You might win this race!”

“Oh…oh! Great! Beau, we can do this!”

“What’s on your viso…”

Artha terminated the connection, and focused on catching up to Moordryd, who was now barely ahead of him.

“Moordryd,” Cain said, appearing on Moordryd’s VIDDscreen. “The stable brat is right behind you.”

“What? No, he can’t be. He was way back there and…” Moordryd took the time to look behind himself.

“Gahh!” he screamed.

Artha looked at him questionably with twitching parts of bugs and splattered green goo all over his visor. “What?”

Moordrdy knew he would have nightmares after this. “Cain!” He yelled into his VIDDscreen. “Place the big, yellow secret weapon near the next turn.”

“Oooo, why me? It smells awful! Why can’t you just fight the stable brat?”

“Ewww. And get close enough to touch him? Would you? No! Now put the secret weapon there!”

Cain muttered something that sounded like, “(mumble, mumble) whiny (mumble) just bugs (mumble, mumble) I hate bananas (mumble).”

Moordryd ignored him and turned off his VIDDscreen. He looked back at Penn, and was glad Artha had wiped his visor clean. What he had used, Moordryd had no idea. Then he had an idea. “Maybe this will stop you. Arnold, Randy, Billy Joe Bob and Princess Pretty! You ready?”

“Ready boss!” Came the unified, muffled chorus from the orange gear on Decepshun.

“Alright!” Moordryd laughed and pressed a button on his handles. “Welcome to dragon racing Penn!”

“Thank you,” was Artha’s oblivious reply.

The orange gear on Decepshun slowly opened, and fired several small projectiles at Artha and Beau.

Parm gasped as he saw them through his binocs. “Artha, watch out! It’s…”

“Ninja Drag Boxes, attack!” cried Arnold, leader of the bunch.

They landed on Beau, and instantly ran around on him, biting away on the gear.

Randy immediately zoned in on the red makes-you-go-faster gear, and attacked with his teeth and claws and high, spinning, super karate kicks! Crazy little Billy Joe Bob looked around, chuckling manically, and then chomped away on the white flying gear. Princess Pretty refused to engage in such an unsightly way of attacking the gear. She went to Artha’s saddle, and attempted to command it to disintegrate before her eyes. Then she caught her reflection in it, and began to polish her scales.

Arnold jumped right before Artha’s saddle. “Foolish human. Hahaha!” He did a double back flip, then with a super powered kick, kicked a wire out of the saddle compartment and karate chopped it with his hand, breaking Artha’s connection with Parm. “Hahaha!”

“Parm? Parmon!”

“Hahaha!” laughed Arnold.

“(giggle) I look so pretty…,” swooned Princess Pretty.

“Take that, hyyahh, you stupid red gear! Hyyaahh!” yelled Randy.

Billy Joe Bob just laughed uncontrollably, slightly frothing at the mouth.

“Parmon! How do I get rid of them?” Artha yelled uselessly at his non-working VIDDscreen. Arnold stuck out his tongue at him, then mooned him. “PARMON!”

Moordryd giggled evilly.

Back in the stands…“Parmon, look! Ninja Drag Boxes!” Lance yelled.

“Oh no! And there’s something worse! Look!” Parm handed his binocs to Lance, who looked through them to the next turn on the track. “Is that…a Dragon Eye?”

“Yes!” Parm said. “The Dragon Eyes are going to cheat!”

“Oh no! That’s not allowed! We have to warn Artha!”

“His VIDDscreen is off line!” Parm gasped.

“Oh no! That’s not good!”

“We have to warn him somehow…”

Lance thought for a moment. “I have an idea…”

--

“Beau? Beau, do something!”

Beau roared uselessly. The little Ninja Drag Boxes scrambled around on him as Arnold made faces at Artha. Beau did the only thing he could think of…

FFAAARRRTTT!

The Ninja Drag Boxes dropped like dead flies.

“Good thinking boy!” Artha said, holding his nose and gave him a thumbs up with a green covered glove. Beau grinned.

Moordryd looked back, and saw Artha and Beau pull up beside him. “What? How did you escape the wrath of my Ninja Drag Boxes? Arrgghhh!”

Moordryd became so infuriated, that he grabbed his mag-staff and swung it at Artha, making sure his hand was faaarr away from the stable brat. “Get away from me!” he whined.

“Careful with that!” Artha cautioned. “You might hit me.”

“Go awaaaayyyy.” Moordryd poked Artha with one end of his stick.

“That hurts. Stop it! Unngghhh, stoopppp!”

“Cain, hurry. He’s looking at me!”

“Parm, where are you? He’s touching me with his stick. Make him stop!”

“Cain, now he’s trying to touch me…eek!”

“Parm, do something. He screams like a girl!”

“Cain, where are you?”

“Parmy!” Artha whined at his blank VIDDscreen. Beau, ignoring Artha and his whining about Moordryd and the race, suddenly peered forward, than smiled with excitement. He pointed his shapely chin to the stands.

“Beau?” Artha asked, looking down at his dragon. Moordryd was relieved that Artha wasn’t looking at him anymore, and was able to pull out a mirror and focus on his incredible hawtness, confident that Cain would carry out this secret plan.

Since Beau was thrusting his head repeatedly in a specific direction, Artha eventually looked, after a few minutes of wondering what the heck his dragon was doing. “What?” Artha peered at the stands.

Since the VIDDscreen wasn’t working, thanks to Arnold, Parm and Lance decided to try a sort of charade to warn Artha about what Cain had done.

“Oh, I 3 this game! Let’s see…cactus, no. Um, clown, no. Uhh…”

Parm was dancing on one foot, his left hand above his head and his right in the shape of the number four (as best as he could manage), all the while spinning around. Artha guessed again. “Cucumber?”

Lance rolled his eyes at Parm, walked in very slow motion, then mimicked falling. Artha guessed again. “Sky diving?”

Parm waved his arms like he was flying. “Uhm…a draco-slug?”

Lance pretended to eat something, throw it down to the ground, then walk over it and fall. “Oh, I got it! A flower!”

Parm rolled his own eyes at Lance and flipped a hand at him, considering his charade to be much more clear and easier to interpret. Parm smacked his forehead, put a hand to his mouth, spun twice, hopped back, ran in one place, put his right foot in, took his right foot out, then he shook it all about, and finally, he pretended to sing using his hand as a microphone, all the while winking repeatedly. “A banana? A banana peel?” Artha correctly guessed. “What…” Then Lance sighed and pointed further down the track.

“Gasp!” Artha yelled.

There, lying right in the middle of the track and therefore impossible to miss, was a humongous banana peel!

“Gasp!” Artha yelled again. Beau gasped as well, and quickly responded to Artha’s accidental pushing of the button that controlled the red-makes-you-go-faster gear. Beau jumped and soared above and over the banana peel, breathing a sigh of relief as they landed on the other side.

Moordryd, however, was too busy making totally smexy looks in his mirror, and so didn’t notice the banana peel until it was too late. Decepshun didn’t notice it either because while she was running at over 150 miles per hour, she had been daydreaming about the Dragon of Leg…I mean, beating up various dragons and ruling the world.

After Moordryd winked at himself, he bothered to look ahead. “Gasp! Cain, I thought I told you to put the banana further back at the corner, not right in the middle of the traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!” he yelled as Decepshun stepped on the peel, then roared as she slid on the peel. At the corner, she hit the barriers, throwing Moordryd off and into the crowd.

Moordryd’s cry of rage, however, was not heard by Cain, as Coershun and he had indigestion. Someone had to eat the banana in order to get that peel. Tubs of ice cream lay strewn around the pair; Cain thought it would be easier to eat the banana if he had ice cream with it. Now he never wanted to see a banana split again.

Meanwhile, Moordryd was still falling through the air, and soon landed heavily in the lap of a spectator. He groaned, rubbed his head, and looked at who he had landed on. Coincidently, it was the world’s biggest Moordryd Paynn fan.

She was holding her homemade sign above her head, which read, “Marry me, Moordryd.” (All in pink.) Her very sparkly shirt made it hard for Moordryd to look directly at her, but that wasn’t the scariest thing. Her face was seemingly frozen in a unbelieving scream, though no audible sound came out of her. Moordryd thought he might just slip away quietly, before she came back to her senses.

Unfortunately for him, she was in her senses…sort of. As much as she could be, at any rate. She was very much aware of what had happened, and was, in fact, screaming. All the Dragon Hounds in the city started to howl, and quite a few windows, mirrors (this included the one in Moordryd’s jacket) and VIDDscreens shattered. Then, when her voice came down a few hundred octaves into something hearable for humans, she gasped for breath and screamed excitedly. “So, lyk shld our wedin day b ona Sunday, ora saturdy? Iv got my wdding drss all piked out! Its pink! It lyk maches ur tux tooo! 3! Lyk, kewl huh!”

Moordryd screamed and scrambled desparately to get away. His fan rolled her eyes, and then smothered him in a huge kiss. It was quite a while before Moordryd did manage to get away.

--

Slugy jumped (or fell, but jump sounds much more valiant of him) off of Ferryt’s dragon after the race. He sighed irritably. He had been soooo close! But that human had...had some special powers. How could he compete against that?

Slugy suddenly had an idea. If he was going after a super powered human, he should get some weapons for himself. Slugy chuckled evilly. Very evilly.

--

After the race, Parm, Lance, Artha and Beau were all walking and talking, except for Artha, who couldn’t multi-task.

“See Lance? Artha interpreted my charade. He had no idea what yours meant!”

Lance glowered as Artha looked at him and nodded slowly. “How can anyone get banana peel from what you were doing?”

“Quite easily. What were you doing? You’d have to be some genius to figure that mess out,” Parm said while Lance sighed.

Walking a short distance behind, them, Moordryd and Cain scoffed at them. Moordryd was covered from head to toe in bright red kiss marks, while Cain was holding his stomach, burping occasionally and looking rather sick. “This is faaarrrrr from over, Artha Penn!” Moordryd sneered, hoping he looked intimidating. But that would be a great feat for them both, since at the moment they were anything but intimidating.

Then they walked away, planning some eeeevil plans.

And walking a short distance behind them, was Kitt. “A street crew after stable boy? Oh well.” Then she shrugged and walked away in some unknown direction, because as of right now she wasn’t important in the plot.

Meanwhile, Slugy armed himself for battle. DUN DUN DUN!

--

It was evening, and exactly the same time a few days or so before, all those dangerous things had happened. Parm, Artha and Lance walked into the stables, completely oblivious to the timing.

“Why are we back here?” Parm asked. “We can’t hide here. Why don’t we just go back to my house? I have the latest version of Battleg…”

“Parm, we need to get some more gear because I broke all the rest in the races, remember?” Artha reminded him.

“Oh, right.”

“You guys pack up all the gear, I’ll go and do nothin…I mean, go find some…more gear…” Artha smiled and backed out the door, then ran away. Parm and Lance shrugged. Artha would’ve just dropped some gear on his foot anyway.

Artha snuck around the buildings, frequently looking behind himself to see if they were following him, then went into the main building. He went up to the top and then walked over to the fireplace. He glanced around, then bent down and lifted a board, revealing a hidden compartment beneath. He grinned. What laid inside? Why, it was only half a year old Dracoween candy!

Artha sniggered, then picked up a few pieces, unwrapped them and stuffed them inside his mouth. It was very hard hiding candy from Lance, and since their dad had disappeared, they ate nothing but the cheapest food. Artha needed sugar. Parm had numerous times asked them to stay at his house, where his mom cooked food (that didn’t taste like something Artha burned) and had warm beds, a big screen VIDDscreen, surround sound too! But Artha wanted to prove he could do something himself, other than dance awesomely at the races and look hawt in his new racing jacket.

Hearing footsteps, Artha quickly placed the boards down and tried to eat all the candy he had put into his mouth. Kind of stale, but it was sugar. Artha’s heart pounded as he saw Lance walk into the room.

“Whaff arr u doin heer?”

Lance looked at him oddly. “I came to check on you. We’re ready to go. It‘s not safe to stick around here for long.”

Artha flipped a hand at Lance. “I donf meef cheeckin upf of.”

“What’s in your mouth?”

“Noftinnf.”

It took Artha a minute of hard chewing before he could swallow everything. “Told you I had nothing in there.” Lance sighed and turned to go.

“Lance?”

“What?”

“Dad’s coming back soon, right? I miss my room.”

Lance turned and tried to think of something to ease Artha’s fears. “Uh, Artha, I think…I think Dad is gone. And he’ll be gone for…quite a while.”

“Where is he? Is he coming back?” Artha asked, beginning to get even sadder than he already was.

“Yes. But don’t worry…Dad’s not really gone.” Lance said, trying to console him. He wondered how he would break the news to Artha that Connor was probably dead.

“He’s not?”

“No. He’s gone, but…he’s still here. He’s sort of…everywhere.” Lance looked around the room, conveying the thought that Connor would remain in their hearts. Artha was just shocked, and didn’t get the fact that Lance was trying to say that Connor was dead. He spun around and looked around the room.

“…dad’s beginning to scare me…”

Lance looked at Artha and sighed. “Forget it. Let’s just go.”

Lance turned to leave the room, and Artha followed closely behind.

--

On top of a building, not too far away, was Kitt Wonn. She peered through her binocs. “There’s Penn, but where’s Paynn?” For it was her duty to protect the venerable and naïve. That, and her importance to the plot was increasing. Someone had to play damsel in distress, and Khatah looked horrible in a dress. So it was up to her.

--

A short time later, Artha had forgotten all about what Lance had said, and was in Beau’s stall, ready to leave. “C’mon, Beau, we’re ready to go.”

Beau nodded, and went out of the stall. Artha followed, and neither looked back at the thin ray of light shining through the cracks in the stable wall. Just as they left, Mortis stepped out from the elevator and slapped a hand to his head and sighed. He thought the light might have sparked their curiosity.

Mortis went to the desk, scribbled something quickly on a piece of paper, stuck it to the back wall, then threw a stone at the back of Beau’s head and dove into the elevator.

Connor’s throw had been off, and Artha walked in rubbing his butt while Beau chuckled. “Who did that?” Artha asked Beau. Beau shrugged, then noticed something on the back wall.

Artha walked up to it and read, “kom duwn he elevatorre hidn bhnd th bak wal.” I must also add that most of the letters were backwards, one was upside down and most of it was too illegible to read. Artha looked at Beau, confused. Beau couldn’t decipher it either. And neither knew what the funny little arrows were pointing too.

Artha shrugged and folded the paper. “Parm’s waiting,” Artha said, and they both walked away again as Artha made a paper airplane.

Mortis grinded his teeth as he stepped out of the elevator. He looked around the stable.

Seeing nothing he could use, he muttered and walked to the door of the stall, then said in a low, spooky voice, “pssssssssssssssssssstttttttttttttt…(Artha took a moment to look at Beau, thinking he was doing something offending)…dragon boooooster……Beaaauuuuuuu…cooommmmeeee heeeerrreeeerrrreee…..noooooowwwwww.”

Artha and Beau looked around, looked at each other, then shrugged their shoulders and walked away. Mortis sighed even louder, then whispered in a harsher voice, “iiiii haaavvvveeee caaannnndddddyyyyy…….aannnnndddddddd uh, viiiiddddgaaammmeeesss.”

Beau immediately turned around and started to walk back to the stable. Artha kept walking forward, telling himself that he had to stay on task. Mortis froze. He needed both in the elevator, not just one! “And, uh, I haaavvveeeee um, piccctuurues of Kiiiittt Wooonnnnn.”

That got Artha’s attention. He jogged to catch up to Beau, and they both headed back to the stall, where Mortis had just realized that he himself was still near the door, and no where near the cave down below where he should be ready. He started to sprint to the elevator, but soon realized he wouldn’t have time. Then he jumped behind a pile of boxes.

Artha and Beau walked in. “So, where are the pict...I mean, where’s the candy and VIDDgames?”

Beau and he stopped in the middle of the room. Mortis willed them to go to the back of the room. Finally, and at long last, Beau walked to the back wall. “What, you see something?” Artha asked. But there was only a weird light coming from a crack in the wall.

“Okay, now I was promised a pic…VIDDgames, and I’m not leaving here without them!” Artha said stubbornly, and stamped his foot on the ground to emphasize his point. Beau was just as determined as he not to leave. He had been promised candy. Candy. This was a huge deal.

As Beau sniffed around the back, the elevator was triggered and was finally revealed. Beau gasped and jumped back, Artha gasped even louder than he, and Connor threw his arms up into the air and nearly shouted, “huzzah!”

Artha screamed (girlishly) and spun around quickly to see who had huzzahed. Mortis clamped a hand over his mouth and ducked behind the boxes. Artha peered in the general direction of Mortis and rubbed his chin. “Hmmm,” he hmmed.

Beau grinned and looked around at the inside of the elevator, stepped inside and waited for Artha. “Boy, are you sure that’s safe?”

Beau nodded back at Artha, then began his lengthy argument of how safe the elevator could be. He provided many exceptional points and facts to consider, and backed them all up with a solid case and proofs. It was all so organized, compelling and logical, that I myself cannot begin to comprehend Beau’s masterful intelligence. Any human, dragon and whatnot could not possibly provide any sort of rebuttal; Beau’s argument was so convincing. Unfortunately, Artha didn’t speak dragon, and there were no dragons around to listen to Beau. So a few moments later, when Beau finished his lengthy speech, Artha cocked his head to one side stupidly and said, “…so when you grunt, does that mean we’re sure to fall into certain doom?”

Beau rolled his eyes and nosed about the elevator, thinking up various new points as to why it was safe to proceed. Mortis sighed and snuck up behind Artha, who was standing, arms crossed, near the entrance to the stable. Mortis tiptoed right behind him and mouthed, “Follow Beau.”

Since Artha couldn’t hear nor read Mortis’ lips, Mortis felt like tearing out his hair in irritation. He would if his helmet weren’t on, and if he actually had hair to tear out. That irritated him further, so he ground his teeth in annoyance and frustration. Beau was already in the elevator, he just needed Artha to go in as well. Mortis almost shoved Artha forward with his hands, but stopped at the last moment. Then Artha sighed. Mortis jumped back.

“Fine, Beau, if you think it’s safe, then…well I really want those pictures.”

Artha then joined Beau in the elevator, but not before Mortis jumped behind a table to hide himself. Artha and Beau stood in the elevator for a few minutes, waiting for something to happen. Then Mortis groaned in frustration. Did he really need to do everything for them?

He found a rock, and then threw it with amazing accuracy. (It actually bounced off Artha’s head and then hit the button. (Mortis had really been aiming for the switch that closed the door. (But the button actually worked better.))) and the elevator lurched downwards at a very, very…slow rate of speed.

“Exciting,” Artha mused. “Parm will love this.”

Beau chuckled, then noticed a particular column of buttons, each with a label. They read:

Slow

Faster

Even faster

Faster yet

Faster than the last button

Expeditious

Artha looked them over, than pointed a finger to the expeditious button. Beau shook his head “no” and pointed with his chin to the ‘faster than the last button’ button. “Beau, Beau, Beau. We don’t even know how fast the last button was. Besides…expeditious has an ‘x’ in it!”

And Artha pushed the ‘expeditious’ button. Mortis grinned, and Beau braced himself. Since he was ready, when the elevator went into a freefall and arrived at the bottom, he remained standing. Artha was sprawled on the floor. Meanwhile, since there was no way he could use the elevator, Mortis had been forced to use the stairs.

Artha and Beau gingerly stepped from the elevator and decided to have a look around. Beau went over to inspect some of the statues, while Artha noticed some strange writing on the wall. This temple looked ancient. Could it be some long forgotten words of wisdom? Something from powerful people from the original war? Something from the original Dragon Booster himself? Artha peered at it and read, “Word wuz here.” This left him quite puzzled for a while.

Until he saw all the statues, that is. Beau beckoned him over. And so, together they explored the caves, looked at the ancient statues and thingies and played rock, paper, scissors when they were tired of doing the rest. Beau won. By 112.

Artha groaned aloud and shook his hand. “What’s wrong with you?”

A sudden noise, like a creaky door opening, broke the silence. Artha spun around quickly, trying to find the source of the noise. “Is someone there?”

Beau and Artha both tensed as they heard the sound of someone breathing heavily, like Race Marshall Budge had when he had ran in the Dragon City Marathon. He had given up after two blocks.

Artha and Beau walked to the elevator, where a funny man was bent double, gasping for breath. “Are…you okay?” Artha asked slowly, wondering whether it was Dracoween already.

The strange man, wearing a strange looking costume, glanced up at them and forced out, “…stairs….too…gasp…long…my…poor…legs…pant…ooh…Dragon….Booster….I….am….”

“My father?” Artha blurted out.

The man stiffened. “Erm…no… I…am…gasp…Mortis.”

Regrettably, since he was breathing so heavily, Artha misheard him. “You’re Muhta? Muhorta? Magna Draconis, man! What an awful name!”

Mortis stared at Artha for a moment, then shook his head. Regaining his breath, he said, “My name is Mortis. I am a Dragon Priest. I am here to help you and your dragon, the Dragon of Legend.”

Artha gasped at him. “How did you know Beau was the black and gold Dragon of Legend?”

“To begin with, he’s black. And he’s also gold. And I’ve also spied on you two. But I have much to tell you.”

“Like where the pictures are?”

--

Back on the surface, Lance and Parmon were done and waiting for Artha to come back from wherever he was at. Lance was humming a tune. “Bob the Racer, can we win it? Bob the Racer, yes we can. Oh, scales! That song is stuck in my head! Why does Artha have to watch it?” Lance groaned, knowing it was likely to stay in his head the rest of the night until he heard another song.

“It’s okay, Lance,” Parm said, very bored. “I…”

They both suddenly sat upright as they heard a veeeery, very catchy tune. “What is that?” Lance asked, glad the tune was out of his head and a new, less annoying tune had replaced it. Parm shrugged his shoulders.

“Whatever it is, it’s coming closer!”

“It sounds like…kazoos?”

Indeed it was, and as soon as it entered the stables, they saw who was making it.

“The Dragon Eye crew!” Parm yelled.

The Dragon Eye crew, all riding their dragons, ran into the stables playing their kazoos, undoubtedly Moordryd’s new theme song. They stopped in a neat line before the two frightened people.

Moordryd raised his hand and immediately the kazoos stopped. “Where is Artha Penn?” he growled menacingly. “I want to have a little talk with him!” Swayy raised her kazoo to her lips and played a ‘dun, dun, dun’ tune.

Parm yelled at Lance. “Go do something so I can escape. Yaarggh!” Lance and he doubled over and fell. They both tried to get up, but couldn’t. They couldn’t move from their place against the side of the stables.

Moordryd smiled back at his crew. “Who would have thought that the super glue could be used for more than just fixing broken gears, hmm?” His crew members voiced their agreement. Parm and Lance struggled.

Lance sighed. “Where’s Artha? This would be a great time for the Dragon of Legend to show up too.”

Parm wriggled his lips, and tried to pry them part. “I…cant ofen mm mmoot…”

Lance looked over at him and asked in a flat voice, “Don’t tell me your mouth was open when he shot the glue at us…”

--

“So um…Mortis?”

“Yes?”

Artha looked around himself. “How come…where are we?”

“In my Dragcave.”

“…your Dragcave?”

“Yes,” Mortis grinned. “Follow me and I’ll show you.”

Mortis walked ten steps to the left and waved his hand around in front of a dark cavern. Artha and Beau waited. Mortis grimaced, then waved his hand again, more furiously this time. Still, nothing happened.

“Oh, for the love of dragons…stupid motion sensors.” Mortis sighed heavily, then clapped his hands twice.

Instantly, huge lights hanging from the top of the cave lit up brightly, finally revealing the cavern. Artha and Beau gasped in amazement.

“This,” said Mortis proudly as Artha and Beau continued to stare, “is the Dragcave.”

“Drac,” Artha breathed. The cave was huge, and held countless flickering screens and looked like a high tech control room.

“That’s because it is one,” Mortis said. “This is the control room where I’ve spied on you from.”

Artha looked at Mortis. “What? That breaks some laws…it violates…in the Draconian Charter, it…that’s not very nice!”

Mortis, realizing the total awesomeness of his swanky control room was lost on Artha, and the fact that Artha was rather mad at him, which wasn’t how Mortis wanted their first meeting to go like, said quickly, “I…er did it with your father’s permission. Besides, I’m a Dragon Priest, it’s my job to train you. I have to keep an eye on you.”

Artha mulled it over. Mortis walked into the room. “But come here, I have some things to give to you.”

“Pictures?”

“Will you just forget about that already? Something much more important.” Mortis walked into the middle of the cavern, during which his voice had nearly gone out repeating over to Artha and Beau “don’t touch anything” and “don’t eat that, it’s not edible” and “watch where you’re walking, this place is pretty messy…oh, that looked like it hurt, are you okay?” and “that’s my sandwich!”

Artha, Beau, Mortis and a spider were standing near a row of tables, each with a shiny, new and expensive looking piece of technology. “Wow,” Artha said.

“I know,” these ar especial” gadgets fo rfighting,” said Mortis. “haym put thad dow”n!”

“Why?” Artha asked, holding up a sleek device which he had picked up from one of the clean, white tables and turned it on just for the heck of it.

“Thads no”t a toy!” Mortis said sternly, then took it form Artha and shut it off. “This device prohibits one from talking coherently. This can make your adversary difficult or impossible to understand, and depending on who you use it on, will annoy them like scales.”

Artha instantly thought of Moordryd. “Cool. Do I get this thing?”

“No,” Mortis said. “Not yet. In the wrong hands it can be…devastating.”

“…………………..…do I get it now?”

“NO!”

Artha pouted, then looked at the many other tables, all in a row. Mortis walked by them all. “Hey, do I get that one?” He reached out and picked up a pen.

Mortis rounded on him. “No! That is a grenade! It’s too dangerous for you!”

“Well, then do I get that one?” Artha asked and pointed to a drac looking gun.

“Definitely not!” Mortis said.

“What’s behind that?” Artha asked and pointed to a large door, which obviously held something super drac. He hoped to get it. Was there anything in this dragcave for him?

“Behind there is MY Dragmobile,” Mortis said, obviously attached to whatever was behind the door. “You get this.”

Artha braced himself for the super drac device he was sure to be getting. Instead of a pair of rocket boots, or some x-ray glasses with a built in laser capability for shooting thing with his eyes, it was a bracelet. Artha took it from Mortis and looked it over while Beau watched over his shoulder.

“It looks like a bracelet.”

“It is not. It’s a gauntlet.”

Artha sighed. “Well, I guess it’ll do. Does it shoot fire?”

“Uh, no.”

“How about trapping gear at least?”

“Nope. No trapping gear.”

“Does that mean there’s not even a super high tech missile launcher or anything?”

“…no.”

“What does it do?”

“It sparkles. See how pretty it is?”

“Ooooooo…”

--

Meanwhile, while Parm was desperately trying to open his mouth (and failing), Moordryd had yanked Lance free from the wall. And considering the fact that Lance had been stuck there with super glue, it wasn’t easy. And if that wasn’t enough, and the fact that he hadn’t seen Artha yet, Moordryd had another problem on his hands…

“Unggh…uuuuuuhhhh…unggggggnnnngh!…”

Lance rolled his eyes. “If you knew I was covered in super glue, why did you touch me?”

“Shut up.” Moordryd growled and tried to pull his hand off of Lance, but was having the worst of luck doing it. Lance was worried that Moordryd would rip his shirt, but Moordryd was simply worried that he might spend the rest of his life stuck to a stable brat.

“Get…ungh…off…”

“I’m…trying…to…”

And then, came the ever valiant and courageous cry of Kitt Wonn! Racer extraordinaire! She yelled Tarzan style and leapt right into the middle of the scuffle.

“Come here you dirty Dragon Eyes! Feel the wrath of spunky girl!”

She soon trailed off when she realized Parm was unable to move, and that Moordryd was preoccupied with Lance. She looked to the other Dragon Eyes.

Swayy waved at her. “Hi, Kitt.”

Kitt sighed and put away her mag staff. “Did you guys capture Artha yet?”

“Nope. He’s not here. Hey, Kitt. Are we still on for poker tomorrow night?”

“Yep. So…until Artha shows up, there’s not much to do…”

“…nope.”

Kitt sighed in boredom and sat down besides Swayy, and they all watched as Moordryd tried to detach his hand from Lance’s shirt.

--

“Oooooooooo…”

“Alright?” Mortis asked cautiously as Artha finally pried his eyes away from teh kwel shinyness.

“Yep. Looks good. But what does it do?”

“That is your armor.”

“…”

“Yep. Well that’s what I needed to give you.”

“A bracelet?”

“Gauntlet. And with it, you will learn to release your sue powers,” Mortis said as he attempted to back away and fade into the darkness suddenly and mysteriously. Unfortunately, he backed up too close to the edge of the pit that was surrounded by the huge dragon heads and fell.

Artha, so intent on figuring out how a bracelet could protect him, didn’t hear the Goofy-like scream. “Mortis?” He asked after several minutes. He looked at Beau, who hadn’t known where he had gone either.

Artha sighed and said somewhat enviously, “I wish I could disappear suddenly and mysteriously like that.”

“Help meeeeeeee…I’m stuuuuuck!”

“Well, Beau, maybe we should go back and show Lance and Parmon my new brac…er, gauntlet.”

--

“Aha!” Moordryd yelled in victorious glee and promptly dropped Lance to the ground. Lance fingered the hole in his shirt and looked up at Moordryd accusingly. Moordryd ignored him and turned to his crew.

“…so where’s Artha Penn?” he demanded of Kitt, Parm and Lance. They shrugged and Kitt continued to play an impromptu game of cards with Swayy.

Moordryd looked at them all, then crossed his arms and pouted, waiting for Artha Penn.

Not far from them, and perched gallantly on the ever so conveniently placed roof that allowed for a perfect view of absolutely everything, was afore mentioned Artha Penn.

Beau whined and immediately dropped to his stomach and hugged the edge of the roof with his paws and dug into the sides with his claws. This was not fun! Why did Artha have to come up here? Why couldn’t they save his friends from the Dragon Eyes from the ground? Oh…right.

Flashback

“Cause it would look so coooool!”

End Flashback

Right. Because the heroes always first appeared from some high vantage point, silhouetted against the majestic light of justice. But since they didn’t have one of those, Artha hooked up a high powered light, powered by energy efficient light bulbs. As Artha put it, “I’m going to save the world, starting with these convenient energy efficient light bulbs, available at every corner store near you.” They ended up having to use five of them to get the light bright enough.

Beau whined again and looked down at the faaaaaaaar ground, faaaaaaar beneath his feet. Beau tried not to think of how faaaaaaar it was away from him.

“Faaaaaaaaar out!” Artha said. “Check it, Beau. This amulet is the same shape as my brace…gauntlet. Strange, huh? I wonder if it means anything…”

Beau rolled his eyes and then closed them shut. He was beginning to feel sick.

Artha stared at his amulet, then his gauntlet. “Hmmm…same size…same shape…same colour…same material…same mystical, je ne sais quoi aura about it….hmm….I wonder…hmm…”

Beau clutched the ledge tighter. Yup, he was definitely going to be sick.

“Hmm…they both emit then same amount of refracted light, and they do seem to have the same attributes, not to mentioned the density and approximate erm…shininess abilities…hmmm…Hey! What if I…”

And following those fateful words, “Hey! What if I…” A hero was born, born of a very rare stroke of genius (for him). Artha giggled as the armor suddenly swirled around him, and the shiny - added bonus! - golden glow enveloped him. In the time that it would take Cain to steal candy from approximately twenty-one babies, the transformation was complete.

“Now,” Artha said and sat up straight. Beau made do with standing shakily up. “The Sue Booster is finally here!”

At this time, everyone just so happened to look up at Artha. Unfortunately, the energy efficient light of justice was too bright for them to see who was really up there.

“Moordryd, what’s up there?” Cain asked, shielding his eyes.

Moordryd, however, had more pressing matters than to answer Cain. “Ack! My gorgeous grey eyes! The light, it’s too bright!”

Artha looked down at them all, realizing what was happening. He whispered down to Beau. “Hey, psssssssssst, Beau! They can’t see us. Scaling energy saving light bulbs!” Artha shook his fist at them.

Beau sighed and fired off a mag-push at the light bulbs. When the lights instantly died out, everyone was able to get a good look at the newcomer.

Artha tapped Beau on the head, who stood up and without looking down, roared. Artha, meanwhile, sat all important and uber powerful in the saddle.

“Who is that?” came the ever stupid question of…Artha. “Are you…yes, you are the Dragon Eyes! What do you want?”

The Dragon Eyes looked at each other. Moordryd growled and demanded, “Where’s Artha Penn? And who are you?”

“I. Am. The. Sue. Booster,” Artha said dramatically, and since his words were so dramatic, they deserved their own sentence.

Moordryd glared up at him. “The Black and Gold dragon has chosen a Sue Booster! Forget about the stable brat, get him!11!”

Beau gasped at the ending punctuation in the sentence and turned, but unfortunately lost his footing.

“Oh NO!” Everyone gasped as the hero fell. But since Artha can’t get hurt, Beau and he landed safely, much to Moordryd’s aggravation.

Beau stood up regally, feeling much safer since he was on the ground. He looked at them all and growled. “Raaarrrr,” he said with flair.

Moordryd chuckled maliciously. “Now you’re ours! Prepare to die!”

“Oh no,” Artha protested. “You can’t kill me. I’m too pretty!”

Scale it all, he’s right, Moordryd thought bitterly.

As everyone surrounded the Sue Booster, it was Kitt’s time to shine. So she suddenly fell off Wyldfyr and fell off the platform. Everyone else could only watch in horror at the unexpected and completely unexplainable incident.

“Kiiiitttttt, nnnoooooooo…..!” Artha yelled in slow motion, since everything is so much more dramatic then.

Beau, all traces of his fear of heights gone, immediately jumped after her. Moordryd, not one to jump off platforms to his doom, muttered and left, especially since there was nothing left except Parm and Lance, both of whom were still covered in super glue and the first still stuck to the wall. And unable to open his mouth. It was annoying him.

Artha and Beau continued to fall in slow motion, after the slow motion falling Kitt, since the entire sequence was so dramatic. It was during this that Slugy decided to make his appearance once again.

Parm nudged Lance with his foot, and together they saw Slugy racing to the edge of the platform, squealing in rage.

Slugy had armed himself with a straw, but wait, no! It was not a pointy-ended straw; it was a deadly jousting lance! And what he wore on his head was not a bottle cap, but a helmet befit of a warrior! Slugy, the crown prince of the Slime Nation of slugs, was on the attack! He yelled an ancient battle cry, having many times wrought fear into the hearts of his foes!

Parm and Lance watched the squeaking slug race to the edge and then fall off. “Well,” Lance said. “That was weird.”

“Mffmfmmmmfff.” Parm agreed.

--

“Squuueaaaaaaakkkkkkk!”

Slugy fell towards his enemy like an arrow, eyes narrowed in grim determination and war lance leveled for the kill. He began to catch up to Artha and Kitt quite quickly, since they were still falling in slow motion and he was not.

Unbeknownst of Slugy’s imminent arrival, Artha kept his eyes focused on Kitt, who was beginning to wish everything would speed up already. Sadly, it was still dramatic enough to require slow motion. The hero’s true love, falling to her doom, with only he to save her…

“Kiiiiiitttttttt!”

“Oh, plleeeeeeaaaaasssseeeee…”

“Taaakkkeee mmmyyyy hhhaaannnndddd…”

“A liitttllleee fuurrtthhheeerrr…”

“Don’t let go! Don’t you dare let go! Reeeeeeeach!”

And the slow motion stopped because I’m far to lazy to keep typing in triples of each letter.

Kitt grabbed Artha’s hand and he swung her into the saddle. Slugy was only meters away, a huge grin splitting his face in half.

“Ah,” Kitt breathed a sigh of relief. “You got me! But who’s got us?”

“Beau does!” Artha chirped cheerfully.

“What?”

Beau looked up at Artha, who fully expected him to do something to save them all. Beau shook his head up at him, indicating that he had no idea what to do.

“What?” Artha shouted in disbelief. “Don’t shake your head at me! You were the one who jumped off the ledge!” Beau whined and snorted.

“Well then,” Artha continued. “Then I’ll have to do something!”

Kitt found that his sentence did not inspire much hope.

“Duhhhh, release the sue…duuhhh, release the sue…”

“Hey, what’s this?” Kitt said suddenly. “It looks like a…”

PLOT HOLE

Slugy gasped as his adversaries suddenly disappeared, and then reappeared further down on a building, completely safe.

“SQUEAK?” Slugy shouted in rage. Then…

“…SQUEAKKK!” For Slugy had just realized that he was still falling, and had no plot holes to save him. Time for plan E, since plan D, which included arming himself and jumping after the Dragon Booster, hadn’t worked out that well.

Slugy pulled on a little yellow string with his mouth, and a handkerchief (which was clean, he had checked beforehand) opened up and billowed like a parachute behind him. Even though he was now floating safely to the ground, he had no way of controlling himself!

Slugy veered to the left and to the right as he careened down, and all too soon, he saw a huge sign displayed right before him. He tried to turn his parachute, but couldn’t, and was only able to scream as he hit the sign face first. He groaned and slid off, falling into a most unconventionally placed dumpster. Slugy crawled to the edge and pulled a bit of junk from his mouth, then screamed as the lid crashed down.

HUMILIATION

Slugy only sighed.

--

And now back to the luckiest three beings in the world at that present moment…oh, wait. Someone from Sun City just survived after being struck by lighting twenty times. Never mind my earlier statement then.

Kitt slid from Artha’s grasp and looked up. “Who…who are you?” she asked in awe, since Artha was so obviously important.

Artha struck a magnificent pose. “I’m the Sue Booster,” he said in a deep voice. Kitt immediately melted at his strong voice, as was her role in the story. Artha smiled down at her, not cheesy in the slightest.

He looked at the writing on his glove which Beau had helped him come up with before, so he knew what to say when he saved everybody. He opened his mouth and began, still in his hero voice. “I’d like to thank all the little people, and…gak!”

Artha instantly doubled over and began to cough violently, startling Kitt and Beau. He punched himself in the stomach as he continued to cough loudly. Finally, after a minute, the bug, who was most obviously blind, flew out of his mouth and finally granted Artha the pleasure of not choking himself nearly to death.

He coughed once more, then grinned sheepishly at Kitt. Kitt merely stared at him, then shrugged off the incident as a total accident and grinned shyly back, looking as cute as ever, as was her role in the story.

Then Artha turned Beau around and they took the stairs down to the street and then ran away into the artificial gloom that was the crowded and dirty streets of Mid City. But to make this more of a romantic moment, we’ll say he ran off into the sunset while his true lady love watched him go.

And Kitt watched him ride away and sighed dreamily. I’ll leave you to decide who she was really thinking about.

--

Back in the Paynn Citadel, Word was most unpleased with Moordryd.

“Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,” he growled.

“Father, I’m sorry! I’ll do better!”

“Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”

“I swear I will! I’ll capture the Dragon of Legend and take it away from the Sue Booster!”

“Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?”

“Yes, really.”

“Hmm, well then,” Word said as he stroked his most impressive beard. “I shall give you a chance to redeem yourself; however…if you fail, I will go hire some mutant ninjas all hyped up on my coffee to do it for you!”

“…”

“So you better not fail!”

“…but I want to see the ninjas…”

“………………I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”