Authoress' Notes: So, the US has finally been invaded by Sinnoh, it seems. And around the same time as "Super Paper Mario", too. It's as if these games were begging for a Pikario parody, and that's exactly why I'm making one! Because of this "LIUITSV" and "P&C2" will be going a on slight hiatus, but I'll get to them eventually. Enjoy!

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Super College Rule Pikario!

Prologue: The Story of the Dark

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HACK! COUGH! Urrgh. Bleh... Once upon time a time, long, long before anything stopped making sense, there was a book. But not just any book, for it was a book that told people stuff! Yes, many sought after this book for a very long time because of this. Unfortunately, if anyone ever read the book, they would no longer be happy, because reading was also considered evil! Those who merely glimpsed at the pages were overcome with the fear of punctuation, paragraphs, and the worst of all... INK! After millions of years of being evil with its sentences and verbs, the book came to be called the Dark , due to the fact that not a bit of it made sense! And now, to the basic plot! This shall be a fantastic tale, full of love, romance ...and sex!

...Okay, maybe 'romantic' was a bit of a stretch...

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"...Ooh. Ooooooooh. Woah... That was some party last night! ...Yeah, um... Wait, where I am I? ...And why am I talking to myself if I'm unconscious?"

"BLEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH! BLACK! Finally! You're awake! It's a good thing you don't have hangovers like I used to! ...Says Count Black."

"What the--?"

Peach opened her eyes to see everyone was standing around in the middle of freaking nowhere and Bowser was in a white tuxedo, while she was in a wedding dress on an altar! OMG! There was also an evil Darkrai, who had a CANE and a MONOCLE that made him look all cool and stuff. And there was a Glameow assisting him, too! Not to mention Bowser's Randomly-Placed Crowd of Minions were cheering their brains out. WTF? ...Of course, being the ditz she is, this didn't mean a thing to the princess...

"Ooh! Are we having another party!"

The Darkrai sweatdropped. "No, we're--"

"Yay! A party!" Peach clapped her paws together in excitement. "Do I get gifts? Where are the gifts? I hope I get a pony!"

The Glameow adjusted her glasses. "Uh, yeah, 'K. Now listen here, Peach--"

"Is Bowser hiding them? I bet he is, isn't he?"

"...No. 'K, I guess we can start now, albeit her stupidity..."

"Yes, well..." Count Black cleared his throat. "Bowser, Mr. Big Bad And Scary Ass, do you hereby take Peach as your lawfully wedded wife until things start making since again?"

Bowser laughed. "Ha! 'Until things start making sense again', he says. That'll never happen, but of course I do!"

"And Princess Peach, Ms. Gets Her Ass Stolen All The Time, do you hereby take Bowser as your lawfully wedded evil husband until things start making since again?"

Peach frowned. "Hey! Now, wait a minute! What kind of party is this? And why are we wearing white? White is for clean people, and Bowser is so totally NOT CLEAN! ...And neither am I," she added, with a giggle.

"...She's got a point," said the Glameow.

The Count obviously didn't care! "Peach, can't you see this is your wedding? You're about to be married!"

"Yeah, so make with the smooching and love-making! Desperate Blastoise over here!" added Bowser.

"Wedding? I'm not allowed to get married! They say if you get married, you'll have to get buried!"

The Glameow frowned. "...I think you've got that a little backwards..."

"It doesn't matter! Just say you want to marry Bowser, and we'll be through here!"

Peach thought for a moment, then laughed. "Oh, no! I can't do that!"

"Why?!"

"'Cuz commitment is evil! Pikario said so himself! ...And where is he anyway? I wanna see if he got me a pony!"

"This is getting ridiculous..." muttered the Glameow, whose name is now Nastasia, just because it is.

"Quick, Peach!" said Bowser, having an idea. "If you want any presents, you have to say 'I do'!"

Peach really wanted that pony, so she did! "Really?! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! I do--"

Nastasia shrugged. "Good enough. I would preferred something a little more PG-rated, but whatever."

All of a sudden, this giant, black heart thingy came out of the podium... er thingy! Boy, there sure are a lot of thingies here! Where are we, anyway...? Oh, yeah, and Chuigi woke up in the middle of the Randomly-Placed Crowd of Minions. Whoop dee doo

"What the hell? Where's this? What's causing this mayhem, and why isn't it me?!" Chuigi looked up the long staircase at the evil scene of thingies unfolding! "...And why am I asking all these questions?! And is that Peach up there...?"

"BLEH HEH HEH-- Etcetera! All is going according to plan through the power of the Unvirgin Heart! Nothing can possibly interfere now, especially when I'm just sitting here, boasting about how nothing can go wrong, when it obviously can!"

Nastasia sweatdropped. "Yeah, um, you sure are the head Honchkrow around here... Lame pun intended."

"Hey!" Chuigi jumped up the stairs. "Who's getting married, why wasn't I invited, and where the hell are the presents?!"

"Who are you?! ...Asked Count Black!" asked, well, Count Black.

"Oh, no! Not another one of you third-person-talking freaks! Hey, loser, ever heard of pronouns? Just for that, I'm gonna take your... um... THINGY and auction it on PokeBay! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

"Yeah, like, um, NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT! ...'K?" warned Nastasia.

But Chuigi was never one to listen to evil, talking cats, so he did it anyway!

"Ha ha! This should sell for a ton of money, and I can finally buy my own house!"

"What you should do is buy yourself a brain!" suggested an enraged Bowser.

"Ooh! Can you buy me a pony?" asked Peach.

Chuigi didn't have time to make a crude remark before the entire place started shaking, due to the disruption of the Unvirgin Heart's power! It got worse and worse and worse and worse until... BOOM! The universe exploded! THE END! ...But Palkia knew this would happen and just brought everything back, making the results less catastrophic.

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Count Black suddenly appeared out of nowhere, looking very annoyed. "...Count Black guesses this is just one of those days..."

Nastasia also suddenly appeared out of nowhere, which is kinda weird, since she was just a Glameow, and all. "Um, yeah, 'K. You all right, Count? That meddling Pichu's messing with the Unvirgin Heart just made the universe explode, you know."

"Count Black says it does that all the time, and that is why it doesn't matter!" He threw open his cape! ...Wait, I didn't mention he was wearing a cape? WELL, HE IS! "A new era had dawned, and it shall rule over all other eras!"

"You mean the 4th Generation of Pokemon? That's what the Dark says, right? And since things just started making less sense by marrying a great, evil king with a sweet, no-so-evil princess, we can, like, continue destroying the worlds, while inexplicably ruling them at the same time."

"Yes! We, the Sinnoh Pokemon, have taken the world by storm with our newfangled DS technology, ugly evolutions, and creepy innovational ideas! With 106 new disciples at my command, we shall rule the galaxy... and sell millions of copies worldwide! So, come forth, Darkness of Things That Don't Make Sense! Do my bidding, as I am evil and that's what evil Pokemon do!"

And so, Darkness of Things That Don't Make Sense came forth from the Unvirgin Heart and consumed everything in sight! BOOM! The universe exploded again! THE END... again!

...Great, just when Palkia was nice enough to bring it back for us...

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Authoress' Notes: And so... IT BEGINS! The Prologue that really happened not long after the first phase of the story! I don't know how I come up with this stuff. I guess it's a good thing that the residents of Flipside and Sinnoh Pokemon look so damn weird, lol.