Title: The Date Author: Teno Hikari
Prompt #: 96 - Amusing (for the tos100 livejournal community)
Character(s): Mithos x Lloyd
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Author's Notes: Unbetad crack pairing ahoy! Yes p-a-i-r-i-n-g which means Yaoi / Shounen ai
Summary: Going on a date to an Amusement Park was hadly amusing when you know your boyfriend happens to be a megalo-maniac.
Word Count: 1830

This part is not a direct sequel to the first two drabbles, but it is in the middle somewhere.

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'Where do couples go on dates?'

It all started with an innocent question, from a seemingly naive blonde. Sitting behind his lover, he gave his best Kratos glare, followed by cut throat gestures towards a smirking Zelos. Always ready to bestow wisdom when he could, the chosen began to list a number of places though fully knowing that Mithos would be socially unacceptable in. Not because Mithos was a half elf, but because he was a half elf with a god complex. Lloyd didn't care if the redhead was the Chosen Savior of Tethe'alla or not, he was going to kill that bastard the next time he saw him.

Disturbing thoughts of ripping Zelos' wings off and using the feathers as pillow case stuffing came to mind, as he was lead - dragged - by a perky Mithos. He checked his supplies, making sure he had stocked up on enough Lemon Gels and Pineapple Gels, before handing over gald for two tickets into Altamira's Amusement Park. Lloyd sincerely hoped his date would hold up to the promise that he would behave himself. The swordsman simply didn't have enough gels to save or heal everyone there.

"Hmmm, this place hardly looks amusing," said the leader of Cruxis as he began to look around. "Too many noisy little humans and why are those people making total fools out of themselves?"

Lloyd followed the direction of his date's finger and shrugged. "Those are mascots. I guess, they dress up in costume to make the place look more fun."

"How absurd," Mithos pursed his lips before his eyes caught sight of one of the rides in front of them. "What is that?"

"Huh?" again he followed Mithos' pointing digit and smiled that time. "Oh that's the spinning tea-cup ride! Collette and I..." Lloyd stopped in mid sentence and noted the slight angry twitch on Mithos' angelic face.

"You and Collette," he spoke with an icy tone that would make Celcius herself shiver, "rode on that nauseating machine as a couple?"

"It's a fun ride and, actually she and I..."

"We're going on it!"

"Ack!"

Lloyd couldn't vocally protest as his boyfriend grabbed hold of his neck ribbons and yanked him forward. People stared of course, especially when the blonde cut in line and then gave his infamous glare of eternal suffering to anyone who protested. Lloyd also kept his mouth shut. Eternal suffering for him, meant a week of Raine's cooking, followed by a never ending lecture of the "hero" Mithos and the Kharlan War. Of course told by Mithos himself, and there was nothing worse than listening to one talk about themselves for hours upon end. He could no longer share rooms with Zelos, especially if that room had a wall mirror.

So they got into their cup - Mithos had to threaten some little girls out of the white one he wanted - sat down before the ride started.

"I still can't believe I'm sitting in a giant tea cup."

"Are you amused yet?"

"Hardly, and is this as fast as the ride goes?"

"No, it spins faster. Genis lost his lunch the last time."

The green-eyed monster stared at him again. "You and Genis...?"

"Oh come on! We're best friends!"

Temporarily mollified, Mithos remained silent as the ride began to spin faster and the other occupants in the ride - including Lloyd - began to laugh and cry out in excitement. He yawned, and leaned back against his seat, actually looking like he wanted to nap.

"What's wrong?" the brunet called out over the noise of the ride.

Mithos stared at him warily before mouthing out that he was bored. Why did humans find being sick and nauseous entertaining? Also, the ride wasn't as exciting as Lloyd lead him to believe. It wasn't fast enough. It didn't go high enough. Suddenly his lips formed a wicked smirk as he leaned backwards, his outstretched hand pointing to the ground.

Lloyd's excitement quickly turned to fear. 'No, he wouldn't dare...!'

"CYCLONE!"

Cries of excitement turned into absolute terror all around, as tornados rose up and swept the twirling cups high into the air. It was a mad tea party come to life. Lloyd cursed angrily at his lover who was too busy laughing like a maniac to hear him. He was turning a stunning shade of Noishe-green, as they continued to whirl around, suspended several feet high above ground until the winds lowered them all back to Earth.

"You were right, Lloyd, that was fun!" Mithos clapped cheerily as he hopped out of the cup, while his boyfriend and the other occupants were still frozen in shock, clutching the edge of their seats in a death grip. "Let's try that ride over there next!"

When the swordsman recovered from his third nervous breakdown that day, he managed to convince the blonde - with his Raging Beast attack - to avoid all rides and settle on some games. Mithos was very good at games, probably because he was cheating with his angel powers. He had used his strength to break both the whack a mole game, and then the high striker. When they moved onto the stalls - the brunet carrying around huge Noishe sized pink and purple unicorns in tow - he could have sworn he heard the half elf mutter 'Time Stop' on every occasion when another player was out besting him. Then afterwards, he would put his hands on his hips, do his "I'm superior in all the universe!" pose, and laugh in their faces.

Speaking of the devil with angel wings, where in Ifrit's blazing footlocker, was Mithos?!

He glanced around wearily, not seeing any sign of the blonde boy. Tired of lugging around the blonde's collection of stuffed animals, he plopped down onto one of the park benches and groaned. Why couldn't they have gone somewhere else? Mithos might have been having fun, but he was nowhere near amused. In fact, Lloyd never had the strongest urge to actually be back on the Summon Spirit quest again. Getting eternally lost in the Temple of Darkness and shouting at Shadow's little Minnie Me's to stay in a straight line behind him. Cause at least they were obedient enough to stay in the same place after wandering off. Unlike a certain seraphim...

"Hey, Lloyd, there you are!" chirped Mithos as he appeared literally out of thin air and sat down beside him. In the boy's hands he was holding a Klonoa plushie and a caramel apple.

"Here, I won this for you," he said offering him the doll. Lloyd mumbled his thanks, tossing it in the pile with several others. He then glared at the blonde who was licking the caramel off the apple before throwing it away in distaste.

"Well that was wasteful."

Mithos shrugged. "Too sweet. I can't believe these inferior beings can eat that kind of garbage."

The swordsman gave him a good whap on the back of the head, which only earned him a teasing smirk in response. "Where did you get it?"

"Oh, I took that one from the crying child over there by the snack bar."

"You what?!"

Twitching in anger, Lloyd placed a hand on the hilt of one of his katannas. Normally he would bring up his Dwarven Vows in these kind of situation, but right now he was too tired to remember any of them himself. He was going to have to add some new ones to the list, after he maimed the angel of thievery.

"Kidding!" The other teen teased with his fake "I'm so innocent, and adorable" smile, "and you say I'm too serious."

"You are serious. Seriously crazy... and evil."

The ruler of heaven pouted and Lloyd actually cringed at the sight of those watery tear filled eyes. It was so unfair that Mithos could switch from being a diabolical seraphim to a crying cherubim at the drop of a hat.

"H-H-How can you say that?!" he blubbered, grasping Lloyd's arm in desperation and began to cry crocodile tears. "D-D-Don't you love me anymore?!"

Before Lloyd could tell the elf he wasn't falling for the act this time, he noted that several onlookers were. Some actually giving the brunet dirty looks. Wonderful. Too many witnesses. He could not behead or dismember the little snot here, the swordsman thought in a mantra.

"Of course," he grounded out between clenched teeth, "I still. Love. You."

"Oh Lloyd!" Mithos gushed as he jumped forward and tackled him to the ground. (Un)Luckily, one of the prizes - a metal baseball bat - cushioned his fall.

"Ow! Get the hell off of me!"

After beheading the blonde's prized unicorns, the two decided to call it a day. Actually they had just been kicked out for all the commotion, and security had closed the gates shut behind them. It didn't matter though, Lloyd was just thrilled to leave. As they headed back to the boat, he was glaring at Mithos who was innocently skipping along. Just to get on his nerves.

"Well this was a super fun date! We must come here again!"

Twitch. "Do you understand what 'banned for life' even means?"

"Oh, your friend Regal is the President of Altamira, right? You could get him to pull some strings for you."

"Forget it, and did you really steal candy from a baby?"

The hero of the Kharlan War stopped skipping and frowned. "Of course not! I paid for it like an honest customer!" Well he sounded sincere. If the self-made God was even capable of such emotion.

"Paid for it?" Lloyd was actually surprised. "Where did you get the gald?"

Mithos beamed. "From your wallet, of course!"

Of course...

Lloyd dropped the rest of the prize bundles, and stalked passed the other teen. He just had the urge to leave this place, go find some strong fiend like the Sword Dancer, and beat the non-living crap out of it. Then watch it revive and beat it up some more.

"Aaaw, Lloyd, don't go all Kratosy on me!" said the child's voice in his ear.

Growling, he was about to bat the angel away from him but found his arms effectively pinned to his sides. He turned his head to glare at the smug looking older version of Mithos Yggdrasill. Those no longer innocent eyes seemed to smile down at him.

"I had the most amusing time on our date, Lloyd. Thank you."

"You mean you had fun tormenting me."

"Well you and those other humans there," the seraph admitted, stroking the side of the boy's cheek. "You're awfully cute when you look homicidal. Come now Lloyd, why don't we go complete the rest of our date at the hotel?"

"Shut up!" he snapped, turning his blushing face away from the touch. "I can't believe you enjoy pissing me off so much. You really think you can possibly make up for what happened today?"

"Oh, Lloyd," Yggdrasill purred, "I intend to do just that."

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See, Yggy's not an evil rapist bastard. He's just am evil bastard who happens to be a pedo... and often looks like pedo-bait :p