Author: lunartick PM
Sort of prequel to Misunderstood. Now it's Ichimaru's turn to misunderstand the intentions of a certain scheming captain. NonyaoiRated: Fiction T - English - Humor - & G. Ichimaru - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,165 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 05-31-07 - Published: 05-03-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3521641
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hello everybody! I'm back with a new story! This one is a multi-chaptered one, and is another parody on Ichimaru Gin, and the whole of Seireitei in fact.
Just a bit of a warning though. There is some nudity in this fic courtesy of Yachiru, but its done in like a funny way. For me, Yachiru is still a kid, and kids run around with nothing on lots of times. So, if you are the kind who feels Yachiru is too old to do stuff like that, maybe you would want to avoid this fic.
Oh, and another thing. This isn't a yaoi fic. It's just Ichimaru Gin's lack of innocence that leads to some rather traumatizing events.
And… this is a bit of a prequel to Misunderstood. It's on how Ichimaru Gin was recruited by Aizen Sousuke. Just a note: I know Ichimaru was probably under Aizen long before he became a taichou, but for the fun of it, I decided to do it such that he came under Aizen after he became a taichou. Hope no one gets too worked up over that.
Well, anyway, it's for the story! Please read and enjoy!
Steam rose dramatically from the hot spring as Third Division Captain Ichimaru Gin sank happily into the water with a contented sigh. It was not often that Ichimaru Gin visited the Shinigami Country Club, mainly because he was too busy establishing himself as an efficient captain (difficult, given how people always assume his efficiency was due to one Kira Izuru's efficiency). However, when he did drop by, he always found it a pleasure to soak himself within the hot, steamy embrace of a hot spring (how Seireitei actually located a hot spring soul, or how any Shinigami was capable of sending a hot spring soul, he would never know, but honestly, he was not complaining).
Today, apparently, was his lucky day, for the hot spring was deserted, save for his presence. Hence, he did not have to worry about looking suitably dignified or contemplate the lack of hygiene in sharing bath water. It was just him and himself, soaking away happily the weariness of the day.
Ichimaru Gin folded a towel neatly and placed it on top of his head, cheerfully contemplating the lack of the need to contemplate how ridiculous he looked with a towel on his head.
"Matsumoto-san! Yachiru-chan! You shouldn't be running in the bath house!"
"Dum-dum go mum-mum some gum-gum!"
"Oh what does it matter? There is no one to see… Gin! Yo! What a coincidence, old pal!"
The towel made a quick migration south from his head to his waist.
"Rangiku," he acknowledged, discreetly tucking the towel in so it wouldn't float away. "Hinamori-kun… Yachiru-chan."
"Ichimaru-taichou!" Hinamori squeaked, wrapping her towel around herself tighter. "I'm sorry, sir! We did not mean to interrupt your… Matsumoto-san!"
"What?" Matsumoto asked obliviously, half-way to sliding into the hot spring.
"We're interrupting Ichimaru-taichou's bath…"
"Nonsense! There's no need to go just because Gin is here! My boobs need their daily soak, you know? It's to keep them perky and firm! Come on in now, Himamori-kun! The water's really great!"
Ichimaru blinked when the lovely vision of Matsumoto wearing nothing but a thin, small towel was blocked abruptly by something very pink and furry. "Can I help you, Yachiru-chan?" he asked cautiously, wondering what Zaraki Kenpachi would have to say about him and little Yachiru sharing the same bath with the both of them wearing nothing other than towels.
Cancel that. He wasn't so much afraid of what Zaraki Kenpachi would say but what he would do.
He just hoped it would involve a fair duel that he could cheat at rather than one irate captain setting one Ayasegawa Yumichika on one panicky captain. Ichimaru Gin had been a very interested witness to the last time a poor, unfortunate soul had been the victim of said Ayasegawa Yumichika. It had not been pretty.
"What's Smiley-chan doing here?" the little girl asked curiously. "I've never seen you here before!"
"I am taking what is conventionally known as a 'bath'," Ichimaru replied, wondering how it was possible to look dignified when there was a pink, furry thing bouncing about just about an inch from your face. Zaraki Kenpachi pulled it off admirably, but honestly, when you are over six feet tall and have reiatsu that has the ability to kick all other reiatsus' metaphorical ass, it is very difficult to not be dignified.
Yachiru threw back her head and laughed uproariously in a manner eerily reminiscent of one Madarame Ikkaku. "Smiley-chan is so funny!" she squealed. "We should go kill something together one day! Then we'll become best buddies!"
Ichimaru smiled wryly – then did a double-take. Much to his never-ending horror, he realized that the young Yachiru was wearing her towel the male way. Fortunately due to her age, there was not much to hide. Nonetheless, Ichimaru failed to see how that would convince Zaraki Kenpachi not to send one Ayasegawa Yumichika to traumatize the hell out of one Ichimaru Gin.
The problem was, how to correct the problem of sweet Yachiru not covering the parts that a female should cover regardless of whether she had developed any of the necessary parts to cover or not.
"Yachiru-chan…" Ichimaru ventured. "Don't you feel a little… cold?"
Much to his dismay, his comment drew out nothing more than another loud burst of laughter. "Smiley-chan is really so funny!" Yachiru squealed. "Of course I'm not cold! I'm in a hot spring!" To add insult to injury, she finished her statement with an even louder burst of laughter.
Ichimaru attempted to laugh along with her. Unfortunately, Ichimaru Gin had never been very good at laughing, thus he settled for smiling weakly instead. "Of course, of course," he muttered hurriedly.
Then inspiration hit.
"Oh look!" he exclaimed. "Your towel is dragging on the floor. That wouldn't do. Why don't you wear it a little higher?"
And disappointment hit back – in a very sensitive area.
"Why not?" he whined.
"Because then I would look like Eyebrow-chan!"
"Ah…" Ichimaru Gin, for all his eloquence, found it difficult to refute that statement.
"But…" he ventured. "Your towel will get dirty. The club owner will be most annoyed."
"Doesn't matter! 'Cos Ken-chan will just kill him if he tries to bully me! Yay!"
"Eh… of… course…"
"Or I could kill him myself!" Yachiru stuck her finger against her chin. "Or we could kill him together! Then we don't have to bother to go look for a Hollow so we can be friends!"
"Why… I'm sure that would be… eh… nice…"
In a final act of desperation, Ichimaru Gin resorted to convincing himself that he would ask the ladies for help not because he couldn't handle one little girl but because as a captain, he really shouldn't be handling such minor chores. Much to his utter disappointment however, both Matsumoto and Hinamori had retreated to the furthest end of the hot spring and were chatting away quietly. With the sense of helplessness increasing dramatically, Ichimaru was just about to turn back to his problem when whispers of their conversation floated into his ear.
"… just tell him?"
"No, Matsumoto-san! How could I? That's too embarrassing!"
"But if you don't tell him… it will be worse!"
"Tell him! We'll do it together!"
"Hush, Matsumoto-san! Ichimaru-taichou can hear you…"
"Oh… well it doesn't matter! He's nicer than he looks. Wonderful ass, I always felt."
"Matsumoto-san! How could you call a taichou an ass?"
"Dear, I was referring to his ass. Don't you think it's rather firm and perky?"
"Matsumoto-san! I… I… I… Oh! You are incorrigible! And you are changing the subject from…"
With his curiosity fully piped, Ichimaru found himself tempted to just sidle over and eavesdrop on their conversation. However, he was all too aware how alert gossiping women were to the approach of men, thus, he stifled the temptation to sidle and settled back onto his perch.
"What'cha looking at, Smiley-chan?"
"It's a long story, Yachiru-chan."
"Ha ha! Smiley-chan's really so funny! You're even funnier than Baldy-chan!"
"Eh… thanks, I think…"
With his attention back on the young vice-captain, Ichimaru Gin finally remembered the problem he had to solve, much to his utter dismay. "Can't you just pull your towel up?" he asked wearily.
"Because I ordered you to do so?"
"I'll tell Ken-chan to cut you to little pieces and feed them to a Menos!" Huge, friendly smile.
Giving up, Ichimaru picked the little girl up and set her in the water. Sneaking a glance to make sure the other two ladies were not looking his way, he quickly undid her towel.
For the first time in his life, Ichimaru discovered that shunpo could apply to doing up towels as well.
"Good evening, Yachiru-chan, Ichimaru-kun."
Swallowing hard, Ichimaru Gin looked up from the water and fixed his eyes on the figure above him. Much to his utter dismay, the figure was smiling the smile of a person who had just discovered a kindred soul in a full-grown man undoing the towel of a little girl in a bath.
"Aizen-taichou," he managed to regurgitate.
"Really, Ichimaru-kun," the older man beamed as he slid into the water. "We're both of an equal rank now. You can just call me Aizen-kun. That sounds a lot friendlier now, doesn't it?"
"Of course." Ichimaru was so impressed with the control he heard in his own voice that he did not notice the young vice-captain had wriggled out of his grasp until she accidentally splashed water in his face while she scrambled out of the spring.
"You did the towel up too tight!" she complained, struggling with the butterfly knot he had tied in his panic. "I can't breathe! This thing is so troublesome… there!" With a huge grin, she pulled the towel off and dumped it on the ground.
Ichimaru would have dropped his face into his hand and groan if he could have found the strength to unbend his neck. Unfortunately, that was not the case, and thus he could do nothing more than settle for smiling unhappily into the water. At the very least, Aizen Sousuke would be going down with him.
"My dear girl," the same Aizen Sousuke was saying. "Young ladies should not go running around like this. Come, let me help you put on your towel again."
"Nyah! You've got to catch me first!" Giggling happily, Yachiru dashed off towards the other two occupants of the hot spring, eliciting a cheerful greeting from one Matsumoto Rangiku and a scandalized gasp from one Hinamori Momo.
"What a lovely girl Yachiru-chan is," Aizen said, beaming with all the joy of a proud father. "I'm sure she would grow up to be a very beautiful woman, isn't that so, Ichimaru-kun?"
"… Well… yes. She has to learn some decorum first of course. A moment ago, I had to help adjust her towel because it was dropping too low."
"Of course, Ichimaru-kun."
"She was eh… indecent, to say the least."
"If you say so, Ichimaru-kun."
Thoroughly mortified by now, Ichimaru decided that the best course of action was to sink back into the hot spring and try to salvage the rest of the evening. An impossibility, to say the least, but Ichimaru Gin was a captain, and captains were not easily deterred from their task at hand (especially when said captain was one Kyoraku Shunshui and said task was drinking one huge jug of sake).
It helped of course, that displayed before him was one of the most desirable women in the whole of Soul Society.
He admired the beautiful Assets half-covered by a towel, water and steam bouncing slightly as their owner moved about animatedly, deep in her conversation with one Hinamori Momo, who was attempting (with less efficiency than one Ichimaru Gin) to make one darling Yachiru decent again.
"Anyway, why don't you just tell him, Hinamori?"
"But it wouldn't do to just go up to a taichou and say something as rude as that."
"It isn't rude! You've known him for a long time, right?"
"Aw, come on, don't be a virgin!"
"I am a virgin! Oh! Matsumoto-san! You made me shout! Oh dear… do you think Ichimaru-taichou and Aizen-taichou heard? Should I go apologise to them?"
"Ah, don't be silly! They wouldn't mind. They probably find it… eh… interesting though. Anyway, even if they heard, it wouldn't matter! I can see the both of them smiling from here."
"How would that make me feel better? Ichimaru-taichou is scary precisely because he smiles! Who knows what he's thinking when he's smiling?"
"Serious? I think he has a cute smile. Very seductive, that smile. Besides, there is a theory that when he smiles, he isn't thinking, and since he smiles all the time, he is never thinking. That was Renji's theory by the way, so if you tell Gin I said that, I'll point the finger at Renji. Anyway, Aizen-taichou's smiling too. His smile shouldn't be scary to any normal person."
"No, it isn't… but… oh! You're changing the topic!"
"You don't want me to? Fine, we can talk about your virginity then. Who do you want to lose it to?"
Ichimaru Gin found himself smiling fondly to himself. That was his good, old Rangiku-chan; always saying things that would have made the most jaded of whore turn three shades of red. Even the eighth division captain would blush at some of the things she said.
A sudden chill ran down his back, leaving Ichimaru Gin's fondness high and dry.
"Yes, Aizen-taichou?" Slowly, Ichimaru Gin forced his neck to turn so he could look at the person he was addressing.
"Ah, there you go again! Come now! Call me Aizen-kun… or Sousuke-kun. That's so much more intimate."
Aizen Sousuke was smiling at him. Aizen Sousuke was looking at him and smiling at him. Aizen Sousuke was looking at him and smiling at him in a way that suggested they were more than just colleagues in the great big world of Seireitei.
Slowly, Ichimaru Gin forced his neck to turn back so he was looking at the beautiful Assets again. "Ai… Aizen… kun…" he forced out weakly, the desire to wear his towel the female way was making his arms (crossed primly in front of him) twitch sporadically. The only problem was, he would have to undo his towel to hitch it up, and there was no way he was doing that; in this situation, it was beyond consideration.
A huge hand clamp clamped onto his shoulder and he stiffened. "I see you have been working out at the gym, Ichimaru-kun," the cheerful voice said from somewhere behind him. "That's good. All captains need to be strong in order to lead their divisions efficiently! You, me dear boy, look much stronger than the average captain. It makes me wonder sometimes, if you are satisfied with being nothing more than a captain in Seireitei."
Honestly, Ichimaru Gin felt that it was to his credit that he did not wrench his shoulder away from the Hand. Ignorance, he always felt, was the key to avoiding awkward situations.
"Of course," Ichimaru Gin replied just as cheerfully. "I would not wish to be a disappointment to Yamamoto soutaichou! Besides, while the work of a captain is very tiring, it does have its benefits, like free entrance into the country club."
Much to his horror, Aizen Sousuke's eyes narrowed behind the gleam of his glasses, and his smile took on a mildly canine effect. "My dear, dear Ichimaru-kun," Aizen Sousuke said softly. "Are you that concerned about what Yama-ji thinks?"
Ichimaru gulped as the Fifth Division Captain leaned even closer. :Ai… Aizen-tai… kun?"
"Haven't you ever considered?" the voice whispered into his ear. "Doing things that Yama-ji might not… approve of?"
When he felt the rough surface of the spring pressing against his back, Ichimaru Gin mentally let off a rather girlish squeak of terror as the realization that he could not back off any further kicked in.
"Really, Aizen-kun?" Keep calm. Feign ignorance. Smile. Smile widely. Don't get homophobic. You know what happens when you start getting homophobic. "I don't quite understand what you mean, really."
Much to one Ichimaru Gin's utter dismay, Aizen Sousuke let out a loud, hearty laugh. Much to the same Ichimaru Gin's utter relief, Aizen Sousuke released his shoulder and settled back against the other side of the spring.
"Your innocence is, as always, so absolutely adorable," said captain remarked. "I always felt this certain air of obliviousness about you is one of your most endearing qualities."
And it was around this time, that Aizen Sousuke successfully accomplished the near impossible task of deterring a captain from his task at hand.
"Rangiku! Would you care to join me for a cup of sake at the bar?"
"Sake? Gee, you asking me out on a date, Gin?"
"Ha! Don't worry, I'm just kidding! Woo hoo! Sake after a nice dip in a hot spring! Sounds excellent to me!"
"Ah well then…"
"Wait, just let me check if my Precious has soaked long enough."
"Oh yes they have! Any longer and they are going to get wrinkled."
"Let's go Gin!"
"Drinks' on you!"