Disclaimer: Not mine, not for profit, and no offense intended.

Title: "A Woman Must"
Fandom: Heat Guy J
Pairing: Kyoko/J
Rating: PG-13

---

"It's completely out of the question."

"Come on, Kyoko. This'll be fun." Daisuke was giving her that smile that he used whenever he wanted something. It was a good indicator that nothing he said should be trusted.

"Fun?" She frowned at him. "We don't have the authorization for an undercover operation, not to mention you're talking about impersonating an assassinated mob figure and using of highly questionable tactics to get us access to this party."

Daisuke shrugged. "It's a gala event celebrating the changeover of the Zinnia family's power to the new generation. Old Theodore Zinnia finally croaked, and now his son Darius is going to be living it up. Like I said, fun." He was leaning so far over her desk, he was practically sitting on it.

"You're impossible." Kyoko glanced over at J, who was standing back respectfully. At least someone in the office had some sense of protocol. "What do you think, J? I'd like to hear your opinion on this."

The android nodded. "I agree with Daisuke. His plan has a 59 chance of success and a 93 chance of providing beneficial information to this case."

"I wouldn't ask if this wasn't important. I know you can get us the authorization for undercover work based on the information we got from Edmundo." Daisuke held up a stack of paperwork – actual, completed documents with the correct datestamps, no less. "We've got a real opportunity here. Nobody at Company Vita has ever met Argus Mendelssohn in person, and J matches his physical profile perfectly. We'll never get a chance like this again."

Damn. He was being awfully convincing. Kyoko sighed. "First, you're going to have to pass J off as human being in a social setting. Second, you'll have to teach him to act like a convincing mobster in less than two days. Third, you'll still have to find someone to pass herself off as Mendelssohn's girlfriend."

"Do not be concerned, Kyoko." J crossed his arms. "I am confident that I will be prepared. A man must never back down from a challenge."

Daisuke nodded. "Right. J will be fine. We've passed him off as human plenty of times before. And I was thinking of Antonia to play the girlfriend. I'll bet she'd enjoy a good party."

Kyoko frowned. "No civilians. That's absolutely against regulations. If we're going to do this, I'll be accompanying J." Too late, she realized what she'd said. But before she could take it back, Daisuke laughed.

"You?" He scoffed, giving her a dismissive look. "Well… no offense, but the two of you go together about as well as… peanut butter and machine oil."

Indignantly, she sat up a little straighter. Where did Daisuke get off acting so patronizing? "Mendelssohn's a mobster, right? Don't they like pretty young girls hanging on their arms, showing off their wealth?"

"A man must remember that a woman's charms are worth more than money can buy," J recited sagely.

Daisuke shrugged. "Well, they're usually professionals. Or bad girls from the wrong side of the tracks. I mean… you're just not the type, Kyoko."

Though he was putting it as diplomatically as possible, Kyoko knew exactly what he was implying. "I’m not sexy enough for this, is what you mean, right?"

"I didn't say that." But he was smirking slightly.

She glared at him. "You two will meet me here at seven o'clock on Thursday. The paperwork should be processed by then. I'll arrange for transportation and equipment release. Get J into a suit and make sure he's rehearsed his role."

Daisuke grinned. "Well, this isn't exactly what I had in mind, but I can work with this. Thanks, Kyoko." He looked up at J. "Come on, partner."

Kyoko watched them leave, wondering what she'd gotten herself into. "You owe me for this," she muttered under her breath.

---

She was actually looking forward to the party by the time Thursday evening rolled around. Work had been boring, filled with one mundane bureaucratic task after another. To top it off, the gossip columns were buzzing about Shun Aurora being spotted around town in the company of some rich bimbo heiress, and Kyoko was about ready to give up on her crush completely. A night out was just what she needed to get her mind off things, even if it was with J, and even if it was for work. All they really needed her to do was stand around and look pretty, after all.

She showed up at the office in a tight, form-fitting blue mini-dress, spiked heels that were already killing her feet, and a long violet wig. To make absolutely sure the effect was right, she'd consulted with her younger cousin, a fashion fiend who'd lent her lots of shiny accessories and helped with the make-up. While Kyoko wouldn't be caught dead in the trashy ensemble under normal circumstances, this was a matter of feminine pride. Her reputation as a desirable woman was at stake!

Daisuke and J were already there, sorting out the surveillance equipment. Daisuke didn't bat an eye as she came in. "Nice dress." He said, nonchalant as you please.

Kyoko frowned. After all the effort, that hadn't been quite the reaction she was hoping for.

J, to his credit, was much more gentlemanly. "Hello, Angel. You look cute tonight." To Kyoko's surprise, he took her hand and planted a kiss on it.

"Why, thank you!" J's appearance was perfect. In addition to an expensive-looking suit, he was wearing leather gloves and tinted glasses to hide his eyes. With his imposing stature, he always looked intimidating, put tonight he seemed to radiate a certain aura of power and authority.

Daisuke handed her an earpiece. "We're going to play it nice and cool tonight. J will be doing the strong, silent, man-of-few-words routine, and you'll be introduced as his personal assistant. That means you should do most of the talking for him and play up how important he is."

"And that means I'm going to be doing most of the work." Kyoko groused. "I should have seen it coming." So much for standing around and looking pretty.

"Hey, I'll be on the other side of this thing, prompting you." He tapped the earpiece. "You've got nothing to worry about."

Kyoko wasn’t convinced.

---

During the car ride to the party, Kyoko got a serious case of the jitters. J could alter his system output to make it look like he was human if he was scanned, but there were a lot of other ways they could detect he wasn't human, and at a gathering like this, there would surely be extra precautions. They couldn't risk bringing in weapons, or even recording equipment. J's sensors and databanks, fortunately, would do the job just fine, but Kyoko felt vulnerable going in without so much as a derringer or a can of pepper spray. She just had Daisuke in her ear, and his mood was little too blithe tonight for her comfort level.

"You are feeling nervous, Kyoko. There is nothing to worry about." J reached over and clasped her hand.

"When did you get so perceptive, J?" She smiled at him. He'd gotten pretty good at mimicking human mannerisms lately, and was probably using the opportunity to practice. But whatever the reason, Kyoko felt better. J could surely handle anything that came up, if he could handle Daisuke's usual shenanigans.

"I am not J," he corrected. "I am Argus Mendelssohn, the right-hand man of the recently deceased mafia Godfather, Bautista Figueroa. I am a master tactician and hunting enthusiast who has not made a public appearance in Judoh for over twenty years. And you are Claudia Price, my lovely personal assistant."

"And your girlfriend," Kyoko reminded him. "I don't suppose you have much experience with that, do you?" She squeezed his hand fondly.

"Don't worry about it." Daisuke looked back over his shoulder at them from the driver's seat. "I gave J some tips on how act with you at the party. You just worry about your own performance."

Kyoko raised an eyebrow. "Tips?"

"Refer to girlfriend as "You Naughty Girl" and "Miss Gold Digger." J recited. "Praise her sexual performance using vernacular terminology when complimented. Engage in suggestive physical contact at least once every fifteen minutes."

"Daisuke!" Kyoko's jaw dropped. "How could you? Is this some kind of joke?!"

"What? I made it clear that this isn't okay as everyday behavior. Mendelssohn's a gangster and we've got to keep J in character."

Kyoko fought the urge to hit him over the head with her bag. "He can't be a gangster with some – some class? I can't believe you taught J to act like a nasty old lecher!"

"I apologize if I have done something improper, Kyoko." J had a rather anxious expression on his face. She was starting to feel sick to her stomach.

"You've got to be in character too, Miss Claudia. As the gun moll, it's your job to encourage him." Daisuke's reflection in the windshield was grinning at her.

Her hands balled into fists at her side. "This isn't funny!" She could just imagine the scene now. Acting like a mobster was one thing, but acting like the worst kind of sexist pig was something else. The file had said that Mendelssohn was a notorious womanizer of the worst kind, but if no one in the Judoh underground had been in contact with him for twenty years, there wasn't any reason for him to play up his bad habits.

"You're the one who wanted this job," Daisuke teased. "Don't blame me if you can't handle – "

"Daisuke," J interrupted gravely. "Stop the car. A man does not mock a lady in distress. We have upset Kyoko. We should pursue a different course of action."

"Oh, J." Kyoko put a hand on his shoulder. She hadn't meant to worry him. "It's all right. I'm not upset, really."

J nodded at her and smiled reassuringly, but turned to Daisuke again. "Stop the car. We need to talk."

---

"…and I apologize for behaving like an immature idiot. It was a bad idea and I should have checked with both of you first." Daisuke sighed. They were parked a few streets away from the Hotel Zinnia, where the party was being going to be held. J was doing a quick perimeter check, giving them a chance to talk alone.

"It's really J you should be apologizing to," Kyoko told him. "You've got a responsibility to look out for his well-being. He's your partner. I shouldn't have to tell you this."

There was a baleful look on Daisuke's face. He leaned up against the side of the car, shoulders tense. "I still think you're being way too uptight about this. We were just joking around. Is there something I'm not getting here?" There was genuine concern in his voice.

Kyoko smiled. He really was clueless. "Daisuke, you know how protective J is towards both of us. If he acted like you wanted him to at Zinnia's party, with all those creeps watching, it would be like inviting them to treat me the same way." She leaned up against the car, next to him. "He'd have to hold back if somebody manhandled me, and I don't think it's fair to ask J to do that."

"J would blame himself if something happened." Daisuke's face fell. "He can tell when I'm upset, even when I try to hide it. And it's the same with you. Now I really feel like a jerk."

A thunderous boom interrupted them. Plumes of white smoke were visible in the sky, and a second later, a tangible shockwave hit them. Kyoko had to brace herself against the car, holding her hands over her ears.

"What the hell was that?" Daisuke had drawn his gun, fumbling for the radio unit on his belt. "J? Where are you?"

The radio crackled. "I am on the corner of Mission and Tulip Street. It appears that a bomb has gone off at the Hotel Zinnia."

"Looks like we don’t have to worry about being late to the party." A fleet of fancy cars raced past them on the main street. The mobsters were scattering like rats from a sinking ship.

Kyoko leaned over and plucked the radio out of Daisuke's hand. "Go ahead and contain the crime scene, J. Daisuke and I will be there ASAP with backup."

---

"Well, I've had worse nights." Kyoko had taken off her heels and switched them for the loafers she kept at the office. Her violet wig was sitting on the desk with her purse. "I guess I'm not cut out to be a mobster's girlfriend after all. We probably avoided a real disaster."

"A woman must always look at the bright side of life," J told her. He was seated on the couch, having already changed back into his usual outfit. He had sustained some damage to his arm in the fight at the hotel, and Kyoko was pulling up the paperwork to get his repairs done first thing in the morning.

Kyoko glanced over her screen at him. In the glow of the lamp light, his eyes were very warm and alive. "Did Daisuke or Antonia tell you that?"

"I have been accumulating social data independent of my set programming modules," J declared. "This is something I have concluded by my own observation."

"Well, thank you. It's very good advice." Kyoko switched off her computer. "I wouldn't mind hearing more sometime. I think I need your advice too, once in a while."

"You are welcome Kyoko." J tipped his hat towards her. "However, I am certain you do not need advice as often as Daisuke does."

Kyoko smiled, impulsive thoughts racing through her head.

It was still early, and it would be a shame to let her ridiculous outfit go to waste. She picked up her purse again, and turned to J. "I can't let a wounded man spend such a nice evening alone. How about we go out for a drink?"

---

The End