10/30 Dear Diary,

I, Hermione Granger, must concede that I know nothing about the species called ‘Boy’. It turns out that Harry does like Venus and Ron told us under the influence of too much butterbeer. So now Venus doesn’t like Harry, but Harry likes Venus and it’s all my fault and I’m even the one who introduced them, so it is my fault that Harry’s love life is now officially fucked up. Fun.

Right now I’m in my dorm with Venus. Lavender and Parvati are off doing God knows who, so I’m stuck with her.

I’m picturing this as a scene from anytime in the near future:

Harry: Venus, will you go out with me?

Ginny: No! Harry! I love you!

Venus: Er…. Hey Seamus! Want to go make out?

Seamus: Sure!

Harry: Meh?

Ginny: sob

Venus: (too busy making out)

Ron: Pass the popcorn.

Me: Here. Why don’t we have a video camera? This is better than anything you get on T.V. dramas.

Ron: What’s a T.V.?

Like I said. I’m a horrible and stupid person.

I asked Ginny if she was jealous of Venus. To my shock she said no. I asked her why and she said that she wasn’t sure because she had thought she’d be furious. I took a stab for her sake. I guessed that she was so in love with Harry that she just wants to see him happy no matter who it’s with. Also, we thought that if he spent enough time with Venus he’d realize how wrong for him she was.

Signing off,

Hermione the Stupid Idiot Who Screwed her Best Friends Love Life to Kingdom Come.