The Day My Computer Took A Shit
By Zess

Summery: A computer breaks down, and the Geek Squad only has one person on the help line. Can one find love by telephone? Well, Axel and Roxas certainly weren’t expecting to!

Other Stuff: TWO CHAPTER ONE SHOT!
Romance/Humor, KH Based, Shonen-Ai/Implied Yaoi(THAT’S RIGHT BOY ON BOY, or. . . boy under boy, or boy bending over boy, or boy on knees in front of boy. . . ), AU, Rated M because I think M is a funny letter, Language? I own nothing but this story. AkuRoku.

Time: Now
Place: A work, a dorm.
Players:
Axel: local computer thrasher. How was he supposed to know not to hit the screen with a baseball bat?
Roxas: Computer nerd, and member of the dreaded Best Buy’s Geek Squad. Poor boy, never saw it coming when he agreed to run the telephone help line!

A/n:

This is written for my wonderful reader LFO because he freakin’ rocks!! All of the awesome reviews he gives totally make my day. So HORRAY FOR LFO!

Um. . . This is also written mostly from Axel’s perspective first, like the last chapter, and then. . . well then you’ll see

If you read and/or reviewed thank you so much! It totally makes all of this worth while!

The Day My Computer Took A Shit

Molestation on Aisle Three

Axel sighed, in his now regular melancholy mood. It wasn’t really like the jolly giant to be in such a funk for such a long time. He usually just let it roll off his back. But it had been nearly three weeks since that fateful phone call, and he just couldn’t get it off his mind. Or out of his dreams. Yeah, his wet dreams no less. He sighed again and rolled his head to the other side of his pillow, looking over the small existence that was his dorm room. Even the pudding monster under his bed seemed to be in some kind of depression. Lately, it hadn’t eaten any of his socks, boxers, or shoes. That was rare.

All he really wanted to do was to roll over and sleep the Saturday away but his stomach chose that exact moment to make a deep howling sound. He couldn’t risk not eating, all of his clothes already hung off his lithe form. It wasn’t that he didn’t have muscles, because he did. And it wasn’t like he didn’t eat, because he did, his metabolism was just crazy fast. Never in his life had he uttered the phrase “it went straight to my thighs.”

So up he went, his gravity defiant hair scraping against the low ceiling in places. Only in some places though, since even with bed head he went around in a constant state of Sonic-The-Hedgehog-Syndrome. It was a curse, but he personally liked it quite a bit. Gave him a sort of flare.

He made his way to the mini-fridge located at the side of his dorm room. He braved his way across the desolate mess he had made. Oh well. He opened the fridge and was greeted with a fate worse then death, an empty fridge. Not even something with small mold colonies. Just, nothing.

“Shit. . . I guess I have to go to the store.”

Axel positively hated going to the store. It meant he would have to not only get dressed, but go somewhere out of his way and wander around with people. Axel was not a social person by nature. He had as many friends as the next person, but they had all come to him, not the other way around. It was fine, he had survived thus far, and quite well.

He reached down to the floor and in his lottery technique grabbed a shirt and a pair of pants. He sniffed both of them carefully and then shrugged in a “good enough” fashion. After a quick struggle to find a pair of matching socks he grabbed his wallet and keys and walked out the door.

It was a short walk to the local supermarket but Axel took the long way. Everyone else was running around frantically in the chilly air, but Axel enjoyed it. It was sort of a contradiction, but here he was, a pyromaniac who was addicted to winter. The soft dusting of snow cheered him up a little, but he refused to let go of his official pout completely.

Roxas. . .

He still couldn’t get over the fact that the kid had just. . . let him hang up. Yeah, what the hell was that? He stamped the light snow off of his shoes as he entered the pleasantly warm super market. In big giant letters the store’s name was proudly displayed.

DICK’s.

The BIGGEST market around.

That always made Axel snigger, and today was no exception. He grabbed one of the black hand baskets that were located near the door and wandered along the isles trying to think of something to get. Food was all he could really come up with, and his indecisive nature wasn’t helping anything either. He took his trusty lighter out of his pocket and began flipping the top on and off repeatedly, relishing in the satisfying clicking sound that it produced each time.

“Oh well, better start at the basics. . . Uh, fruits and veggies. Those are supposed to be good for you yah?”

He wandered around the back of the store, completely lost. He had no idea which direction he was supposed to be going in, and there were no signs to point him in the right direction. Well damn.

Finally he found himself in the produce section. With a bit of relief he skirted around the green vegetables and found himself near the bananas. What an awkward twist of fate, to be standing alone and gay at the banana counter. His cheeks were burning pink from his own wild imagination as he grabbed for one bunch of bananas.

He had just curled his pianist’s fingers around a particularly large bunch of bananas when he felt a soft skin brush against his own. He looked over to find himself lost in the wide blue eyes of a downright gorgeous personification of Sex God.

Oh my God. . . I give you my soul now, just let me have you!

Axel scanned the man candy from waist to delicious lips. Well, it was really from head to toe, but he did get quite hung up on his lips. . . and his waist. The stranger was blushing in two bright red spots just below his eyes. Axel moved a step closer and realized that the bleach blonde male only came up to his chin.

Hm. . . maybe I shouldn’t. . . I just might break him.

But it would be far too hard to just let this angel of sexiness go. He was just too hot! Axel decided then and there that he would have this delicious morsel of yummy hotness, now all that was left was to act on said emotions.

“What’s your name?” Axel asked quietly and not without a hint of sensuality.

Roxas had been, for lack of better words, totally depressed. He had been able to quit his job, as he had wanted, had been accepted into the art college of his dreams, and even had the house to himself, his parents and siblings all being out of town. And yet, nothing. No happiness from something that should so obviously make him so. As he strolled through the grocery store he thought all about it. All he could remember was the melodious voice on the other side of the phone that one fateful night, who would forever be dubbed as the one that got away. All of the should-haves and would-haves would always be associated with the faceless name of Axel. Just thinking of it gave him tiny tremors. If only he had said what he had been feeling, maybe things would have been different.

So lost in thought had he been that Roxas didn’t notice that he had been reaching for the same bunch of bananas as some stranger. He turned, blushing as his hand made contact with a strangers, and was about to mutter an apology when his eyes grew wider then was humanly possible. Standing before him was a sculpture of absolute hotness, more perfect then the David. He was tall, dark, and handsome. He was what steamy romance novels were made of. What intrigued him most was the two upside-down triangular tattoos branding this Man/God’s face and the fire engine red hair that screamed “Fuck Me” all over it. Or at least it did to him. The brilliant green eyes that he stared into held him captive, but not until Roxas had completed a thorough once over. Long arms smoothed gracefully into long fingers, a sleek torso melded into smooth rounded hips and on to long muscular legs. He was almost too perfect.

Roxas slurped down the drool forming in his mouth and then almost died in shock.

“What’s your name?”

The words were issued with a quiet sensuality that Roxas had been replaying every day and night for the past three weeks. It was his voice. Was this the beholder of the amazing voice that had haunted ever waking, and wet dreaming, moment of Roxas’s recent existence? It couldn’t be!

“Axel?” Roxas asked, completely stunned.

Axel balked. He wasn’t used to people knowing his name before he knew theirs. It made things difficult. For the most part, he just felt awkward for not remembering the person when they obviously remembered him. But, he was for the most part good with faces, and he would have surely known one as amazing as this!

Wait. . . I know that voice! No, it can’t be!

“Roxas?!” Axel exclaimed.

The silence that followed was filled mostly by stunned gasps and shakings of the head, as if neither could believe that they were really there, standing no more then two feet from each other, their hands linked on the same bunch of bananas.

Axel couldn’t believe his good fortune. He had found that mysterious voice that had driven him crazy over the phone.! But wait, hadn’t this self same guy rejected him over the phone? Perhaps not rejection per say, seeing as they hadn’t said anything about it, but in Axel’s mind it was basically the same thing.

So he withdrew his hand from the ripe bananas, and more silence followed.

“So. . .” Roxas said, putting his best foot forward with a bit of trepidation.

“So. . .” Axel replied staring at the blue eyed blonde.

Roxas still couldn’t believe what was happening! Axel was here, standing next to him, and now he had a chance to get all of the things off of his chest that he had wished he had said the other night, all the things that he had regretted not saying. But now that he was actually looking deep into those intense green eyes, it was a lot harder then he thought it would have been.

“Uh. . . Axel. . .”

To Axel it was just the same as before, his name said in a sickeningly sweet whisper, and then. . . nothing. He was left to flounder in the black abyss of silence. Well, he had already been as depressed as someone could get, he wasn’t about to have this happen again. He didn’t know if he could withstand the double pain of it all.

“Sorry Roxas, I have to get going. See you around.”

And it was happening all over again. Roxas’s mystery dream guy was walking away from him again, and this time it was literally. He knew that Axel was only running away from him, seeing as his black hand basket had nothing in it. But just because he couldn’t get the words to flow didn’t mean he was about to let fate go.

“Axel wait!” Roxas shouted lightly and grabbed the taller male’s arm, pulling it to his chest and digging his heals in to keep the red head from moving any.

Axel turned to look down at the blonde, his mass of spikes tickling his arm lightly as Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel’s. Well goodness! This was definitely a step in the right direction. Perhaps he had pegged Roxas’s affections wrongly? But, then again, it was better not to chance it, and not try to do anything. Axel really didn’t feel like getting punched in the face today. And he had no doubt that Roxas would punch him, there was no girlish slapping for the short fireball, it was obvious. He still couldn’t keep his hope under control though.

“What?” Axel asked hesitantly.

Roxas took in a deep breath. He wanted this so badly, but he absolutely feared rejection. And even though Axel’s hand had moved to stroke reassuringly up and down his arm he didn’t even really know how to say it. He had never asked anyone out, or to date, or anything, ever.

“Axel, I. . .” but his tongue got in the way and he couldn’t say anything, just looked up helplessly. He wanted so desperately to say how he was feeling, but the words were stuck in his throat.

Axel looked down at the blue eyes and was completely enthralled. Screw all of his personal hang ups, this guy was drop dead gorgeous, and the risk just seemed to be worth it. It was surprising at how much he wanted to, but there it was, his inner self begging him to take the plunge and actually try for this little blonde. So take the plunge he did.

Roxas was expecting everything other than what had happened. One moment he was standing semi-close to Axel, and the next he was being dragged into the taller males arms, his body pressed flush against the other males. And in the middle of the grocery store no less! He looked up in confusion, his breath catching as he was pierced by the amazing green stare of the other male.

“Axel?” he questions breathily, wrapping his arms around Axel’s waist to steady his weak knees.

Axel looked down into the beguiling blue eyes, and felt something stir in his chest region. Not to mention the certain expansion taking place inside his too tight jeans for having Roxas in such close proximity. Close? Ha! He was nearly on top of the poor guy, but he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t help but close his arms around Roxas like a long lost lover, couldn’t help but stroke his long fingers over Roxas’s back, couldn’t help but lean forward until there were mere centimeters separating them. He had come this far, and every being in his body was screaming Roxas’s name, but he would not take the next step, there was only so far he was willing to place his heart on the proverbial line.

Roxas’s eyes were glazed, and he pressed himself further into the warm embrace. It felt almost like this was where he was meant to be. Forever. Axel leaned down and he was so close, their lips so close, that Roxas could almost taste his sweet breath, feel each exhale against his lips that ached for Axel’s own. He knew exactly what he wanted, what he had dreamed of for the past three weeks, and now it was here standing in front of him, and he was going to take it.

Axel gasped in sweet relief as he felt the barest touch of Roxas’s lips, his surrender. That was all that Axel had needed. He swept the smaller male up into his arms, pressing him tight against his chest. His hands molded themselves to the undersides of Roxas’s thighs to hold the small blonde up while he mauled his lips with his own. And Roxas was returning the passion with an experienced kiss that was driving Axel wild. Their tongues mingled and Roxas began making those soft mewling sounds that had had Axel waking in a hot sweat. Roxas’s small hands were caressing the back of Axel’s neck under his bright red hair, and it was making the tall pyromaniac shiver in a wanton delight.

If it hadn’t have been for the old lady and her projectile pineapple who knows where that kiss would have lead.

But, she threw the pineapple, and the pair became quite aware of their surroundings. Axel lowered the blushing Roxas to the floor, and smiled, embarrassed.

“Sorry, I got ah, a little ah, carried away,” Axel stated apologetically.

Roxas pressed his finger to Axel’s lips, which was quite a reach to do. “Please, don’t apologize, it was amazing.”

Axel blushed a red to rival his own hair and smiled sheepishly. It had been a long time since he had received a compliment of this nature.

“So,” Axel asked, as he experimentally twined his fingers through Roxas’s.

“So,” repeated Roxas as he tightened his grip on Axel’s in a firm encouragement.

“Want to get something to eat?”

Roxas laughed, and it was a sweet sound to Axel’s ears.

“I’d love to.”

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