My Heroine

Pairing: JD/Cox, Jorliot, Turla

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, JDA, DCA, mild blood play, mild physical abuse, kissing

Author’s Notes: I’m still pretty sure I want to do this story without an OC psychopath, mostly because I don’t want to overdo the plot of "psycho takes one, tortures, brings them back" kind of thing. I think there’s enough of those floating about, don’t you think? Anyhow, I am also going to make an assumption that both of Jordan’s parents are still alive. To the best of my knowledge from the series, there’s nothing that says differently, and Jordan even stays with her mother sometimes during arguments. I hope I’m not stepping on any toes with that ::grins::

As far as this story goes, most of this stuff will already be there from the beginning; it just takes a catalyst to trigger the behavior. I am still debating on who’s going to do what, so chances are, I’m going to just be giving more background and hinting that some of them are capable of self-destructive behaviors such as drinking, drugs, self-injury, physical abuse, and things of that nature. I will go ahead and promise that Jack will not be harmed physically. I doubt much that he’ll understand a lot of what’s going on around him. Anyway, on with the story!

Chapter Three

Jordan missed college.

Those days had been easy (if somewhat forced, thanks to Mama-Sullivan), and she didn’t have to worry about much more beyond the next kegger. These days, however, it was enough for her to get through the day without completely ripping someone a new one that required stitches from neck to knees.

Sitting quietly at the kitchen table, Jordan ran through the month’s bills. Everything was easily paid (she kept a meticulous budget), and it was more a matter of signing her name to the check over and over as opposed to actually having to think about it.

Jordan looked up when the door opened, her gaze level and even as Perry entered the room without speaking.

Differently this time, however, he had JD with him, and JD had Jack on his hip.

"Hi, Jordan," JD mumbled nervously. He set Jack down in his booster seat, and then backed away cautiously, as if he were around a caged tiger.

Jordan sort of felt like one. She couldn’t say why, exactly, JD’s presence made her feel tightly coiled, but it did. He was already wearing street clothes, which indicated that Perry was about to change, and then they’d go out.

"Hey, DJ," Jordan said sharply. "Give us a minute. Or do you need someone to hold your hand so you don’t get lost?"

JD mumbled something.

"What was that, Amy?" Jordan cut him off. "Use your big-boy voice."

Jack looked up at his mother when the words "big boy" came to his ears. "Hi, Mommy!" he said loudly and firmly.

"See, like that," Jordan said, and turned a giggling face to Jack.

"I’ll just wait out there," JD finally muttered, and stalked into the living room as he ran a hand over his hair.

Perry rolled his eyes. "Bad day, Elphaba? I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you to walk from the bedroom to the kitchen without a break."

"Just as bad as it must’ve been for you to walk around the hospital all day without molesting your boy toy," Jordan replied with her hands over Jack’s ears. She stood and picked the boy up. "Let’s go put your play clothes on, okay, Jack?"

Perry glared after her, and debated for a minute if he really wanted to follow up this conversation. Something in him spurred him on, and he stormed past JD, who shook his head no at him.

"Butt out, Newbie," Perry hissed at him.

"All you’re going to do is start a screaming match," JD pointed out angrily. "Don’t you think Jack could do without?"

"Keep your nose out of my family life, Ashley," Perry pointed out, and continued on to Jack’s room. "Hey, She-Devil. Let’s talk."

Jordan looked over Perry’s shoulder to where JD had followed. "Hey, DJ. Come play house. You can be the wife." She followed Perry into the bedroom that Perry never slept in anymore. "What?" she snapped at him. "Isn’t it enough that I have to put up with you here before you go out?"

"You’re one to talk," Perry replied, fury lacing his tone. "I’m not the only one having fun on the side here, so you can’t crucify me for that."

"How long do you really think we’re going to keep this up?" Jordan remarked, crossing her arms as she stood her ground and tried to keep her voice calm. "How much longer before Jack starts asking questions? Or before your co-workers notice?"

"Who are you more worried about; Jack or your reputation as a good mother?"

"You know that’s not why. We’re treading thin ice right now as it is, Per."

Perry ignored the nickname that he hated. "We’re doing fine right now, Jordalicious. Why do you have to pick on it now? It’s been working now for six months."

Jordan sighed and stared at him. "You love him?"

"Love’s not a word I use, Jordan. You should know that better then anyone."

"But you want to; isn’t that enough?" Jordan pointed out. "I can see it."

"Hey, I don’t ask you about whatever it you and Barbie do on your free time. Why don’t you leave me and mine alone? I haven’t bugged you in six months since we decided to split."

"And how long did it take you to jump in the sack with DJ after we split, huh?"

Perry didn’t respond to that, and raked his hand through his tangled hair.

JD listened quietly from Jack’s room, playing with the small toy racecars that were littered over the floor. Both could hear the loud voices drifting from the bedroom, and Jack looked up at JD.

JD felt bothered by the fact that Jack continued to play as if nothing were happening around him. The small boy almost seemed used to it, in fact.

A few minutes later, however, the arguing stopped with a slammed door and Perry dropped by Jack’s room. He now wore a pair of faded blue jeans and one of his hockey jerseys.

"Newbie, come." Perry leaned over and kissed Jack’s head affectionately. "See ya later, Jack."

"Bye, Daddy," Jack said absently as he crashed two cars together.

JD felt a hand jerk him up by the hood of his sweatshirt. "Not so rough; I didn’t make you angry."

"Yeah. You did." Perry didn’t release his hold on JD’s sweatshirt, and dragged him out of the apartment door.

"What the hell did I do?" JD pointed out. "I didn’t piss off your ex."

"If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, Newbie. You ruined everything." Perry headed for the stairs when the elevator was too slow.

JD shook his head with a sigh, following the older man into the stairwell. "Where are we going then?"

"We’re going to get drunk. And if I see you drinking one of those girly appletinis, I’m going to slaughter you."

"So how come it’s always my fault and not yours?" JD asked angrily as he took the stairs two at a time. "Because if I remember correctly, it takes two people to sit around and have sex."

Perry whirled and slammed him into the wall of the stairwell. "Because I wasn’t supposed to love you."

JD stiffened. He never expected words, nor did he ever ask for them. It didn’t make them any less meaningful when they were said.

Perry’s hands gripped JD’s shoulders hard, almost hard enough to leave bruises. "And now I’ve got to figure out what to do about it."

JD squirmed under Perry’s intensely angry gaze, trying to worm away from his clutching hands.

"You’re hurting me."

"You hurt me first, Newbie." Without looking for anyone else, Perry dipped his head in and thrust his mouth over JD’s without remorse. Teeth clicked sharply, and Perry angled his head to deepen the kiss roughly. He felt one of JD’s hands snake around his neck to grasp his hair.

Perry allowed one of them to do so, but when he felt JD’s other hand trailing up, he grabbed the wrist connected to it and slammed it to the wall.

JD grabbed at his hair plaintively, running a tongue lightly over Perry’s lips as he aligned their bodies with a sense of familiarity that concerned them both.

Perry used his free hand to grasp JD’s neck, a thumb tracing over JD’s jaw and cheekbone.

"You wrecked everything," JD finally agreed against Perry’s mouth. "I really hate you."

Perry snorted against the kiss, and nipped hard at JD’s lower lip. A splash of metallic liquid filled Perry’s senses, and he ran a tongue over the small cut in JD’s lip. His hand tightened imperceptibly around JD’s throat, and he felt the hand in his hair tighten angrily and painfully against the hairs.

Pain shot through his scalp as JD yanked at Perry’s hair and pulled him down for a hard, bruising kiss.

Perry sucked gently on JD’s bottom lip, hand tightening further against the pale throat as he lowered his mouth to the side that wasn’t covered by his hand.

"The feeling’s mutual, Mabel," he murmured against JD’s pallid skin. He raised his mouth back to JD’s, tongue sweeping through JD’s mouth with practiced ease.

JD tasted the blood from both his lip and from Perry’s mouth, the dark flavor combining to explode like fireworks upon his tongue.

"We should get going," Perry finally muttered, but kissed him once more before he shoved him back to the wall and began taking the stairs again.

JD pushed himself away from the wall breathlessly, and touched his bottom lip. A tiny streak of red came across it, and he glared after Perry as he rubbed at his slightly bruised throat.

Perry kept his face forward in a determined fashion. He didn’t know if he could take looking at JD’s bruised and swollen mouth with just the smallest bit of blood streaked across the pouting lips.

XXXXXXXXXX

Jordan exited the room shortly after Perry had, and entered Jack’s room to play with him.

Jack looked up at her. "Okay?" he asked. It was a little trick he’d picked up whenever he heard Mommy and Daddy arguing. He always asked that, because it usually put a smile on either face.

And Jack harrumphed at that. He wasn’t little that he didn’t know anger when he heard it.

And Mommy was definitely mad.

But still, Jordan smiled at him a bit sadly. "It’s alright. Daddy and I just don’t agree a lot."

Jack nodded and picked up a toy car. "Race?" he asked.

"Sure." Jordan took the car from him, making whirring noises with her mouth that had Jack laughing in delight. As she played absently with her son, her thoughts drifted back to college.

She’d majored in financial business, just like Ben had and just like Danni was now. Jordan had never liked math, but was astoundingly good at it. Her father called it the "Sullivan Factor" in the equation of the family. All of them were good at math, but Danni seemed to be the only one who actually enjoyed it.

Ben had always loved freezing moments of time, whether it was with a camera or with his mind. Photography hadn’t been the only thing he was good at, though he had certainly had an aptitude for capturing just the right moment. He had also been a fantastic artist.

Jordan still had some of his artwork stashed away in a box. Her parents had nearly thrown it away when they’d seen what was in it, but Jordan had steadfastly kept it. Ben had always rebelled in his own little way, always carrying his camera.

Though when Ben had been ten, Jordan’s father had taken the camera and given him a calculator.

Jordan’s lips curved into a smile. Ben had only sniffed at that, and started carrying around a notebook and a pencil. On random pages, he had numbers and equations written out to perfection. But Jordan knew better; he used the other pages to draw.

As for Jordan, she’d wanted to write. Her own life had never seemed perfect, though she’d had plenty of advantages. Advantages never equaled love, and Jordan had always accepted the fact that she simply wasn’t built for it.

At least, until Perry, but that had gone down the drain quicker then she could keep up with a pencil. And now Elliot was dragging her through the same story all over again. This time, however, the ending seemed to be writing itself differently then she had planned.

While that wasn’t necessarily bad, it still irked her. She had control of her own life, and no one else. And she planned to keep it that way.

Jordan frowned as the doorbell rang. She hadn’t called anyone yet, and Elliot wasn’t so presumptuous as to simply start showing up.

"Come on, Jack. Let’s see who’s at the door," Jordan said with a smile, and grabbed him by the hand.

Jack reluctantly stood and walked to the door with his mother.

Jordan opened it to find Danni standing there. "What’s up?" she asked suspiciously. It wasn’t like Danni to simply show up.

Danni looked pale as she stepped into the apartment, passing a hand absently over Jack’s head out of courtesy.

Jack rubbed at her hand, and stepped away. He’d never cared for Aunt Danni much, and was glad that his memories didn’t include much of her.

Danni gestured to the kitchen. "He can watch himself for a minute."

"What’s wrong?" Jordan asked again, this time more irritably. "I don’t have time for whatever crisis you’ve managed to involve yourself in, and-"

"Jordan, stop," Danni interrupted her. "Dad died."

Jordan stopped talking immediately, and turned her head back to her sister. "Run that by me again?"

Danni raised her hands slightly, if a bit helplessly. "Dad died."

XXXXXXXXX

Elliot sat reading a book quietly, oddly bothered by the fact that Jordan hadn’t yet called her. Snapping the book shut irritably, Elliot crossed her arms. It wasn’t like she was required to go over there, or that Jordan even needed her every night.

Elliot didn’t want to look at it too closely as to why she felt so bugged by the fact that Jordan hadn’t called yet. JD hadn’t even come straight home from the hospital; he’d simply left with Perry.

With a sigh, Elliot stretched out on the couch and debated turning the TV on for a quiet night at home. Rain was pouring outside, which made going out to walk off her excess energy impossible.

Then the doorbell rang.

Frowning, Elliot stood. "Just a minute!" She gave her hair a quick check in the mirror, and then opened the door.

Elliot backed away in surprise. Jordan stood there, soaked from head to toe with rainwater, her face nearly white and with an unreadable expression.

"What’s wrong?" Elliot asked, gesturing her in.

Jordan pulled off her coat. It landed with a wet slapping sound to the small bar in Elliot’s kitchen, as did the ballet flats that landed on the floor by a barstool.

"Jordan, answer me," Elliot asked again, but suddenly found a pair of cool, soft lips upon her own, and two arms sliding around her body with ease. "What’s going on?"

"Just shut up, Stick." Jordan slid her mouth over Elliot’s again, struggling to pull her jacket off while simultaneously pushing Elliot towards the bedroom.

Elliot struggled a bit against her out of concern for what was really going on, but eventually relaxed enough to slide her hands up to Jordan’s face. Her back hit the bedroom door as Jordan’s mouth trailed down her neck and over her collarbone.

Elliot let her head fall against the door as one of her hands struggled to find the doorknob.

"Jordan, what’s wrong?" she asked again more firmly as the door gave way behind them.

Jordan felt Elliot fall backward, and she pitched forward, off balance, to the ground with her.

"Does there always have to be something wrong for me to want to have sex with you?" Jordan asked irritably, but there was something else underlying her tone. "Because if so, I’ve got an entire list to keep us busy for ages."

Elliot slid her hands up to Jordan’s face again, and kissed her gently as she threaded one of her legs between the older woman’s.

"What’s wrong?" she asked again.

Jordan stared at her, and let her head fall stressfully to Elliot’s chest. "Christ, I just want sex, Stick. Can we quit playing happy couple for just twenty minutes to do that?"

Elliot recognized the desperation then and kept her hands firmly planted on Jordan’s face as she raised her head up.

"No, we can’t. What’s wrong?"

Jordan’s face shifted angrily then in the dark room, and lightening flashed across the sky as she ripped Elliot’s hands from her face and pinned them hard to the floor.

"Later, Blondie. I’m busy." She dropped her head to Elliot’s collarbone, biting across it harshly and using her other hand to push up the blond woman’s shirt.

Elliot’s head fell back to the carpet again as her bra was pushed away and a clever hand began to manipulate her breast.

"You can’t use sex just to push this away," Elliot managed breathlessly. She pushed against Jordan’s hands to try and free her fingers, but Jordan only wrenched harder on her wrists. Elliot cried out softly. "You’re hurting me!"

Jordan lifted her head from Elliot’s neck and gave her a bruising kiss on the mouth. "Life hurts, Stick." She kissed her hard again.

Elliot grunted against Jordan’s mouth, and nipped at the older woman’s lower lip in an attempt to get her to release her hands.

But Jordan bit back almost viciously, and removed Elliot’s bra all together. "It’ll only hurt for a minute."

Elliot wasn’t sure she wanted to know any longer just what the hell had gotten into Jordan.

XXXXXXXXXX

Perry opened the apartment door slowly with JD behind him, and pulled up the collar of his button-up shirt in order to cover some of the darker bite marks over his skin. He made a "sh" motion to JD, and quietly entered the room.

JD had simply pulled his hood over his hair; there was no way his shirt would hide the mark that had broken skin over the crook of his shoulder and neck.

A light flipped on anyway, despite their quiet entrance. Danni stood there, arms crossed. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked Perry sharply. "And what’s he doing here?"

Perry noted Danni’s red-rimmed eyes with a frown. "I went out for drinks with a friend; is that a crime?"

"It is when you should’ve been here, comforting your wife instead of out there, pretending that you don’t have any responsibilities," Danni pointed out.

"You can go ahead and leave now," Perry replied in a quietly angry voice. "Unless of course you’re going to turn a flip or sit on my face."

Danni scoffed at him and snatched her jacket up. "That’s just like you. Our dad dies and you want to stand around and play big boy. Well, that’s just fine. God, no wonder Jordan’s going to leave you again." She slammed the door on her way out.

JD jumped at the door, and noted Perry’s shocked look. Then a cry from Jack’s room had them both snapping out of their daze.

"I’ll get him," JD said quietly. He left the room and returned with a bleary-eyed Jack, who had nearly fallen asleep again on JD’s hip.

Perry looked at Jack, and rubbed a hand over his head affectionately.

"Where’s Jordan then?" JD asked quietly.

Perry shrugged. "Probably screwing Barbie’s brains out; what do you think?"

JD hitched Jack up on his hip for a better hold, and sat down on the couch. He felt the cushion dip beside of him, and then an arm came around his shoulders. JD looked at Perry with a frown.

"Don’t get used to it, Kaitlyn," Perry muttered gruffly. "Jack won’t be happy if he wakes up and I’m not here. But you look so much like Jordan—only more feminine anyway—that he might just be okay."

JD sighed, letting his face sit gently across Jack’s baby-fine hair. "So Jordan’s dad died."

"No, Danni just wanted to be a bitch," Perry retorted sharply. "Way to state the obvious, Sherry."

"Shouldn’t you try and call her or something?"

"I think Barbinski can handle it," Perry replied, and relaxed on the couch. "You’ll want to take him back to bed so he can sleep more comfortably, Newbie."

"You want me to stay tonight?"

"Jordan might kill you if you go over to your pseudo-girlfriend’s right now, Newbie. You can stay here."

Perry hated himself for how much he wanted the kid to be there then, and then he hated the kid even more for making him feel that way. He hated how right it Jack looked asleep against JD’s chest, despite JD’s slightly discomforted look.

And most of all, he hated himself because JD’s lips were still red, and all he wanted to do was kiss the color from them.

XXXXXXXX

Author’s Notes: Hinting a bit more at some of the serious stuff…I know it’s going slow, but it should step up soon now that I’m bringing it up more. I can’t just jump into it XD I wish I could and still make it believable. At least the chapters are vaguely getting longer XD Hope you enjoyed!

Reviewer’s Corner:

aislinnrae: More on the way ::grins:: You’re right; Jack doesn’t get enough fic-time. I can’t promise how much he’ll get this time around though XD This story’s mostly about the two couples after all. And I am trying to feature Jorliot as much as JD/Cox because I like writing the couple, and I’m also trying to hone my skills in the angst of their relationship. I’m glad you enjoyed!

XAngst-PrincessX: Thanks::grins:: I’m glad you enjoyed, and I appreciate the characterization compliment!

Cathy: I’m going fine; thanks ::grins:: I’m glad you’re enjoying this one so much too; I’m having fun writing it ::grins::

dingus485: I don’t know if it’ll erupt that much, but it might. I don’t plan on bringing in an OC psycho this time around, so much of this is going to be purely psychological and self-destructive. I just like self-destructive behaviors; having practiced many so often myself XD I’m glad you’re enjoying, thanks!

black lady knight: More is here ::grins::

-Elise