|Attack of the Pink FlexiRuler
Author: I am the Cake Fairy PM
[oneshot][au][ShikaTema][sequel to Memoirs of a Pink FlexiRuler] Ah, finally! It is Shikamaru's turn for the Ruler! But, as always, things do not turn out as planned.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Shikamaru N. & Temari - Words: 1,713 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 05-15-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3540891
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Class, can anyone guess the meaning of the word homogeneous by using context clues such as its root, suffixes, prefixes, etc.?" asked Iruka-sensei rather boredly. Well, who would blame him for being bored? He was stuck in a classroom on possibly the most beautiful day of the year, the temperature being neither hot nor cold, and the sun was smiling happily down at the little munchkins from the elementary school across the way. Okay, the sun was not in fact smiling, but it was being very nice anyway, shining its rays down on the young, giggling children. "Yes, Kiba?"
"A gay genius, like Sasuke?"
Sadly, he was stuck with the still young, but slightly older, perverted, sick, retarded, snickering teenagers. Why, O why, had Iruka switched to teaching at the middle/ high school instead of the elementary school? Why? Why? WHY?!
"No, Kiba," Iruka answered dryly. "Although I'm flattered that you bothered to listen at all when I was teaching you about the prefixes which you all undoubtedly remembered due solely to the fact that they are often related to those words that are used when describing one's orientation, you are wrong."
"Huh...?" asked half of the class, while another three eighths looked too bored to care. What of the last one eighth? Well, that's where the smart people fall in. Ino, Naruto, Kiba, and Chouji fell into that first category; Shikamaru, Hinata, and Shino fell into the second; and Sasuke was in the last eighth, although it was not as if he cared.
Iruka sighed, and face palmed. Why, O why, didn't he teach the AIG (Academically and/ or Intellectually Gifted) students? Why? Why? WHY?!
Ignoring the unanswered questions which were rampaging about in his mind wildly, Iruka translated his previous statement into, "I am happy that you decided to focus on me while I was teaching you about the beginnings of words that are often used in words such as homosexual and heterosexual. However, you are wrong." his explanation was met by a chorus of "OH!"s.
"So what does that word mean, sensei?" Sakura asked (though secretly she knew; she just wanted to get the attention for the moment).
"Despite Kiba's utterly wonderful use of context clues, the word does not in fact mean, and I quote, 'A gay genius like Sasuke'. The prefix, homo, as you all know, means 'the same.' Add that to genous, which means 'in a specified manner,' and you get the word homogeneous, which means...? Anyone cares to guess?" This was received with a mass of confused look. Well, half of the class had the confused look on.
Iruka glared at the black board (actually, it was a white board, but seriously, who calls them that?) once he had turned around. He wrote on the board, Homogeneous equals mostly the same.
"Now write that down, or at least look like you're writing it down before I write you all up." Iruka really wasn't in the mood for this. However, he put on a cheerful smile nonetheless when he heard the door of the classroom door open.
"Ohayo, Iruka-sensei!" Temari greeted the teacher from the class two grades below hers.
"Ohayo, Temari-san," Iruka replied. "What can I do for you?"
"Anko-sensei wants to see Shikamaru for a moment," the older girl replied happily, her four pigtails bobbing up and down as she bounced on the balls of her feet.
"Alright, hold on. Will someone please wake Shikama-" A rather loud thunk! sounded across the room as a social studies book (presumably thrown by Kiba) bounced off of Shikamaru's head, effectively waking the lazy boy up. "Thank. You. Kiba."
Shikamaru yawned and stretched before lazily standing up, and gathering his things. Apparently, he already knew what was going on. Wow. The author-ess wishes she could listen in her sleep. It would make her able to sleep in class more often.
The boy slung his bookbag over one shoulder, yawned one last time, and walked out the door, followed by Temari, after one last muttering of, "Troublesome." The class gave one last mass shrug, and resumed being completely confused by whatever came out of Iruka's mouth.
Bored, once more, Sasuke began rummaging in his bookbag, looking for God-knows-what. Well, actually, the author-ess knows what. But that doesn't means she's God. The world would be so much more screwed up if she was. Ah, fond dreams.
Suddenly, Sasuke's eyes grew wide and his face pale. He yanked his bag onto the table and began searching through it frantically. Not finding what he was looking for, he stuck his head into the bag. When he withdrew his head, his was nearly in years.
"IT'S GONE!" he wailed, turning his face to the sky...er, ceiling. "GONE, GONE GONE!"
His head fell to his desk with a painful thud! Naruto winced, and got out of of his seat to console his pain ridden boyfriend. He slid himself into the seat next to Sasuke and began speaking softly to the boy. Finally, he looked up at Iruka with a mournful face.
"The Pink FlexiRuler isn't in his bookbag anymore?"
This was met by a chorus of gasps and condolences.
Back With Shikamaru and Temari
"Che...this is so troublesome. So what did Anko-sensei want with me, Temari-senpai?" Shikamaru asked the girl, although the suffix of both the names were said in sarcasm. The blonde girl chuckled at the lazy boy's doubtfulness.
"For a so-called genius, you sure aren't that smart," she commented. Shikamaru would've raised an eyebrow, but it would've been too troublesome.
"Excuse me?" he asked.
"She didn't want you. Don't you get it? It was all a rouse. To skip class." The Temari grinned.
"Why?" Multi-word responses were too troublesome.
"Why not? Now, look in your math book."
"Just do it! No more why's!" And so, despite the troublesome-ness of it, Shikamaru opened up his bag, and took out his math book, a look of long-suffering on his face. He opened it, raised an eyebrow, and looked up at Temari skeptically.
"Where did you get this?"
"Why do you automatically blame me for this? How do you not know that it simply was the will (which really should be capitalized, thus being The Will) of the Pink FlexiRuler of Love?" Yes, dear readers, somehow that bendable ruler which everyone loves had found its way into Shikamaru's math book. Huh. I wonder why.
Shikamaru picked up the ruler, eying it suspiciously. Suddenly, Temari reached out and grasped the Pink FlexiRuler of Love just above Shikamaru's hand.
"Hey, would you look at that? I guess that makes us soul mates. Or should I say ruler mates?" With that said (along with a feral grin), Temari began dragging Shikamaru (who was not in the least bit unwilling) to the, excuse the author-ess, THE Janitor's Closet.
"Che. Troublesome," grumbled Shikamaru, while grinning. The thing is, he didn't think it was troublesome. Not at all. Not even in the least bit. Hell, I would go so far as to say that Shikamaru was doing most of the dragging. Okay, maybe not that far...
Several periods later (social studies, history, chemistry, and drama to be exact), Shikamaru and Temari emerged (like a butterfly out of a cocoon! not really...) from The Janitor's Closet. Interestingly enough, Sasuke was curled up into the fetal position just outside the door, Naruto's arms wrapped around him and rocking him back and forth. The poor guy was still mourning the loss of the Pink FlexiRuler of Love.
Shikamaru looked down at Sasuke and Naruto. He gave a long-suffering sigh, and tossed the ruler into Sasuke's lap. Stunned, the blue-net lifted his head up to look at the lazy boy.
"Here. I would've said that finding it was too troublesome, but...hey, lying is too troublesome." With that, Shikamaru walked down the hall, arm and arm with Temari.
Sasuke looked down at the ruler. And cried. Happy tears, mind you. Man, he really missed that thing, didn't he?
Naruto ignored the fact that Sasuke never seemed to act like that whenever he disappeared for five periods. He also ignored the fact that the only time he went missing for five periods was when he was with Sasuke.
All in all, everything turned out to end happily. Thus far, of course.
Sadly, Elfling has not had the patience, or time to make this chapter as long as she would have preferred. For you see, she did not plan this one out at all. Actually, she doesn't plan any of these stories, out, but that excuse will only count for this one so far. Besides, she would much rather write fluff (pointless/ plotless humor/ romance) than a planned out, strict story like she has to do in English class. She does not like English class.
So, in order to make up for lost plot and short story, Elfling has made the author's note uber long. Even though she knows very little people will read it. But that will not stop her!
Elfling does not own Naruto. Ja ne!