Author: Lily Kalanoa

Story: Beside the Lake

Genre: Slayers - Drama

Rating: K/ PG – PG13

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my laptop, which put me into significant debt. All characters and series belong to their respective creators, I just like to torture them, heh heh.

Warnings: Shounen ai

Pairings: Xellos/Zelgadis, sort of. Failing Zelgadis/Amelia. Amelia/OC

Spoilers: None

Author Notes: It’s so cute! It starts off in some pretty nice angst, but slowly dissolves into adorable fluff. In many Zel/Xel stories, it’s always Zelgadis that brushes off the infatuated Amelia, claiming many very believable reasons why they’d never work as a couple. Actually, this is common in any story with Zel paired with someone other than the princess. Anyway, it got me thinking – what if it were the other way around? What if it was Amelia that realized it would never work between them? This is what came of that little plot bunny. I hope you all enjoy!

A / N 2: All right, I feel a little more loved now. I got a couple reviews, though I'd still like more. From what I did get, though, I feel somewhat accomplished! It seems my foreshadowing is effective without being overbearing. I'm impressed with RHK, he's awefully clever. And Puppet of Dreams person - thanks! Yay, Yami no Kaiba put me in her favs, now I do feel loved. Anyway, this is the last chapter and everything should come to light. I hope you enjoy.

-o-o-o-o-o-

“Zelgadis?”

I blink, opening my eyes at Lina’s unusually gentle voice. Slowly the grass comes into focus in front of me and I blink several more times, trying to clear my head.

“Zelgadis?” Lina asks again and I look up, focusing on her face. “What are you doing out here?”

What am I doing out here? I remember coming back to the lake after breakfast in a desperate attempt to escape the confines of the castle. I look back down at the grass, trying to remember more than that, but my mind stutters to a halt. In front of me is the book about Rezo. It’s open to a page near the end, marked by a leaf I know I didn’t put there. “I must have fallen asleep,” I mutter, remembering that Lina is standing over me.

When I look up at her again, she’s frowning. “Listen, Zel, are you all right? You’ve been acting kind of funny since we got here.”

“I’m fine,” I mutter, my eyes falling back to the book. “Just tired. It’s just the heat.”

She smiles slightly, but the concern doesn’t leave her eyes. “Are you sure? Gourry and I are going to check out the guilds in town. I know that was Amelia’s big selling point for you.”

“No, that’s all right. I’d rather stay here.” She looks surprised, but nods slowly. After another moment, she turns to leave and I’m alone again beside the lake.

It’s very tempting to simply pick up the book and read, but in the smothering heat there is another temptation that calls to me even stronger. Slowly I undress, folding each article of clothing as I strip down to my underwear before striding into the shallows of the lake. Like the rest of the area, this has been expertly carved, honed by skilled craftsmen to create a safe area for little ones to play. The shallows go out a good fifteen feet before suddenly dropping off in another steep cliff, plunging to join the depths of the rest of the water. At its deepest, the water comes up just above my waist.

With a sigh, I bend my knees and sink into the cool liquid, imagining I’m back home in the pond I played in as a child. I used to love swimming, but since the spell, I hadn’t been able to. The memory brings on thoughts I don’t wish to recall and after a moment more I stand to return to shore and lose myself properly in my research. I turn, only to freeze in place, staring at one of the last people I want to see just now. Xellos is only a few feet away, hands clasped behind his back and leaning slightly towards me, smile fixed in place. My shock dissolves almost immediately as I growl at the monster; he’s managed to get me with my back to a cliff again. “What do you want?”

“Merely admiring the scenery, Zel-chan!” I feel my cheeks heat, but firmly ignore it. Xellos takes a step towards me, reaching for my chest at the same time. I refuse to play his game, I won’t give him the pleasure of seeing me flinch. His smile twitches, but I can’t tell if it shrinks or grows and that in itself annoys me. Another step brings him shoulder to shoulder with me, his fingers still in place, and he drops his voice to a whisper. “Did you value my opinion so much, Zelgadis? Though if you’re going to cool off, you really should take a proper dip.”

Sudden force on my chest makes me stiffen, but it’s too late to pull away or counter the move at all. I always seem to forget how disturbingly strong Xellos actually is; his push sends me tumbling over the edge of the underwater cliff. I gasp, managing to get a full breath of air before I slip under the water. Quickly my mind starts sorting out the spell that will bring me back to the surface. I start to mumble the first line when I lose the feeling of falling and pause. I lose a good deal of air gasping in surprise as I achieve buoyancy, floating only a few feet below the surface.

I break the surface in only a few strokes and begin slowly treading the water to stay afloat. Beside me Xellos is doing the same, grinning widely and watching me with slit eyes. I want to glare at him, but my mind is in a shambles; all I can stutter out is a feeble, “What did you do?”

“Then you don’t appreciate the gift?” He asks innocently and without warning the weight returns to my body. I don’t have time to draw breath this time, but mere seconds later the mazoku’s hand around my arm hauls my head back above water. He actually chuckles and after a moment to get my panic under control, I realize my hands are locked in his cloak, clinging to him like a life preserver. “Not so unappreciated after all, I see,” he mutters, touching his fingers to my chest again.

This time I can feel the spell seep into my body and as the water takes up my weight again, I force my fingers to release their hold. For a long moment we stare at each other and I can imagine what he must be waiting for. More than likely he’ll wait for me to feel safe before removing the spell again, I remind myself as the joy threatens to overtake me, but the feeling still creeps up my spine.

And then suddenly I don’t care. I throw my arms above my head, using the force to push me beneath the water again and marveling when my descent slows and stops after only a few feet. Dimly I’m aware of grinning like a loon, but I don’t care about that either. I twist on myself, spinning in the clear depths, and start stroking towards the center of the lake. Xellos stays near me, but even that can’t dampen my mood. He twists and turns, streaking around me like a playful dolphin and for a long minute I have to fight off the urge to get into a splash fight with him. It seems so childish, but all I care about for a long time is acting like a child.

By the time I stop swimming, my limbs are heavy from the exercise and I make my way back to the shallows. Still lost in the feeling, though, I turn onto my back and simply float there, staring up at the sky. I know Xellos is still nearby and slowly that thought penetrates my mind properly. I shift so that I’m standing on my own feet and look around for the priest, finding him in the form of two legs sticking out of the water as he does a handstand. The sight makes me frown and I move towards shore, finally having enough of this game.

Normally I would let the sun dry what little water didn’t simply run off my skin, but now I dress quickly, ignoring the pull of the fabric as it gets wet. As I tug my shirt back on over my wire hair, I turn back to look at Xellos again. He’s striding out of the water towards me, fully clothed and completely dry. His staff is absent and for the first time I realize I haven’t seen him with it since we got to the city. That strikes me as odd and, somehow, more disturbing than anything else. His eyes are closed again as he smiles at me and asks in that oh-so-innocent tone, “Did you enjoy your swim?”

Despite my growing unease, I answer the question with an honest yes. Then I stoop, picking up the book and holding it between us. “Where did you find this, Xellos?”

“I told you; the library!”

I take a moment to think about that. He actually hadn’t told me anything except that he found it before and now I recognize the vagueness of his statement. “But not this library,” I counter, trying to coax out more information. He just smiles, bowing his head briefly as if complimenting me for figuring that part out. I growl low in my throat. “Why did you give it to me?”

“Why do I do anything I do for you?”

“How am I supposed to know, you only ever say ‘it’s a secret’ and disappear!”

He bows his head again. “Then you have your answer, don’t you?” And just like that he’s gone. I’m aware of my head starting to throb again and rub gently at one stone temple. I walked right into that one, I should have known better. At least he left the book this time.

-o-o-o-o-o-

I spent several hours at the lake, I realize as I make my way towards the kitchens to grab some dinner. But it had been worth it, even if it had been Xellos that kept me company. Looking back, it disturbs me a great deal, but at the time it had been pleasant. Which only makes it more disturbing now, of course.

I can hear voices as I reach the doorway to the kitchens and I stop, leaning against the frame to listen for a moment. If the conversation is private, I don’t want to intrude. Amelia has her back to the door and is talking excitedly to Lilia across the small table they’re at. They’re talking about the previous day’s festivities; not private, but maybe I will avoid it regardless.

“And what about Zach? Isn’t he dreamy, I just knew he’d be perfect for you!” Lilia chirps merrily and I hesitate another moment, curiosity getting the better of me.

Amelia gives another dreamy sigh before saying anything. “He’s wonderful. He took me out on the town this afternoon, too, and bought me this bracelet. He’s such a gentleman!”

The queen’s eyes twitch towards me and her smile grows. I feel my stomach knot, suddenly aware that I am the victim of her teasing here. “He told me he’s quite taken with you! Are you going to go for it?” Amelia makes a noncommittal noise and Lilia leans in conspiratorially. “Or do you have someone else you’re interested in? What about that stone fellow?”

“Zelgadis-san?” Amelia hesitates and I can picture her eyes so clearly it makes my chest ache. “I like Zelgadis a lot, and you couldn’t ask for a better friend. But, he’s just . . .” The solemn tone affects Lilia instantly and she looks back up at me. All the playfulness has drained out of her face and she looks apologetic; she hadn’t meant this to happen, no matter what she felt about me.

Amelia has her head bowed, now speaking to the table quietly. “I love Zelgadis like a brother and I wish there could be more to it than that. He’s got such a good heart and I want to be there to help him realize it. But I just can’t feel that way about someone so single-minded. He’s done unthinkable things just to find his cure, sometimes it scares me what he’s capable of.”

“He likes you, you know,” Lilia whispers, trying to undo the damage she’s begun.

“It would be easier if he didn’t,” is Amelia’s reply.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I turn away from the two royals, not even remotely hungry anymore. I stop short when I open my eyes again, surprised to find Zachary blocking my path. He still meets my eyes evenly, but now I can see pity in his gaze. “I’m sorry,” he whispers as he draws even with me and stops. “She does love you on some level, it’s obvious in the way she talks. I know she never would have wanted to hurt you.” I give him no answer as I brush past, but his next words stop me again. “Is she right?” I look at him questioningly and he clarifies, never dropping his gaze. “Would you do anything to be human again? Would you . . .”

He really is perfect for her, he can’t even say the word ‘kill’ in casual conversation, another shining soldier of justice. “I have done many things in the past in my search. If it meant a cure, I would not hesitate to do any of them again.”

Finally his eyes fall away from mine. “Then the better man won. I’m sorry.” He turns, walking into the kitchens and leaving me alone in the hall.

My head feels like it’s splitting in two. That’s the final insult; on top of my heart breaking, I’m physically falling apart, too. I manage a few steps down the hallway, but suddenly the world lurches violently under my feet. My balance shatters and I pitch forward towards the ground.

Before I know what’s happening, two arms are around me, halting my fall without effort. The pain in my head has only increased, but somewhere through the fog I realize there’s only one person that can do that without being felled by my weight. Instinct makes me struggle as Xellos slowly turns me around in his arms, but even I can see my efforts have no strength. Only then do I start to realize something is wrong and far more serious than a little headache.

Xellos frees one hand, batting away my flailing arms, and rests his hand against my forehead. “It’s all right, Zelgadis. You’ll be fine,” he whispers with a frown. I stare at his lips, entranced by the expression as the image slowly fades until all I can see is black.

-o-o-o-o-o-

When I wake up, I’m staring at an ornate ceiling in a fairly small room. Small meaning larger than many poorer families’ whole houses, but that’s beside the point. This is the room I was staying in; I’m on the bed. As soon as I realize this, I try to remember how I’d gotten on the bed. I can remember listening to Amelia and then running into Zachary. I remember Xellos, his lips turned down in a strange little frown and then . . . nothing. Ugh, the idiot must have brought me here, I think, raising one hand to rub my face. The small motion makes the bed creak ominously and I remember just how fragile it had looked. I should really get up before something bad happens.

“Zelgadis-san?” Amelia’s voice accompanies a soft knock at the door and I freeze. I do my best to hold completely still, not wanting the bed to collapse while the princess is in the room. She pushes the door open and pokes her head in, glancing immediately at me. “Oh, you’re awake. Xellos said you weren’t feeling well.”

Xellos had . . ? What was the fruitcake up to? Amelia strides over to my side, resting her palm against my cheek. The gesture calls up a memory of Xellos doing the same thing, but he’d checked my forehead, heedless of the sharp wire hair, his gloves still in place. I try to shake the memory aside, focusing on Amelia again.

“I think you may have a fever. Rest here, I’ll have the chefs make you something to eat.”

She flits back out the door as I lay there, thinking about what she said. It made some twisted sense; the hard ride into town coupled with the heat could easily exhaust a person. And now that I thought about it, I hadn’t been taking my meals regularly, I’d been so uncomfortable with everything since arriving here. It explained why the recovery spell hadn’t worked, too, since the headache hadn’t technically been an injury but a symptom. With a sigh I carefully shift to the edge of the bed. Levering myself onto my feet is more difficult than it should be and the fever theory gains more evidence in the form of my horrid balance. There’s a thundering crack as I finally stand, but the bed remains standing.

I put thought into each step as I move to the window. The sun is hidden beyond the horizon, but its remnants still color the sky. The sun sets so late in the evening this time of year, it’s quickly approaching bedtime for any sensible person. I glance at the small desk beside the window, honestly surprised to see the red leather book sitting there. I should sleep and try to recover, but I can’t do that until I eat properly and there’s nothing that says I can’t read while I rest, right?

By the time Amelia returns with a chef in tow, I’m well into the tome. I am beginning to understand that it hadn’t been written by a human and this just calls up more questions about it and Xellos and the mazoku’s motivations in all of this. With a sigh I set the book and the mysteries aside, eager for the large bowl of soup the server sets in front of me on the desk. Amelia lingers as he leaves and I find myself watching her in the window’s reflection. She looks worried, but the look fades when I spoon some broth into my mouth.

“No moping around up here for days, all right, Zelgadis-san? You let someone know if you don’t start feeling better.”

The strange request/order threatens to drag a smile out of me. Rather than give in to the temptation, I look closely at the girl’s reflection. “Amelia, what do you think of me?” I ask before I can think better of it.

For a moment she seems startled into silence, but I wait for her response. Her eyes drop. “I think you’re strong and brave and kind. I value your opinion more than anyone else’s, Zelgadis-san, and I wish you would be happy more often. I think you’re a good man and a good friend.”

I scoff into the soup, just catching her surprised look before she hides it behind indignance. “No you don’t.” I mutter and turn to face her properly. “You think I’m a monster.”

“No! How could I think that when it’s not true!” She looks like she honestly believes those words and I turn around again. Her reflection looks as if it’s going to cry now and I can hear her voice shake when she speaks again. “You’re a good man, Zelgadis. You’ll realize that someday and I only hope you don’t do something before then that you’ll regret forever after.” When I give no response, she crumbles, fleeing from the room and my silence.

A good man. I nearly laugh again, but I’m afraid if I do I won’t be able to stop. Instead I pull the book closer, opening to where I left off and continuing my study as I eat.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Lilia was surprisingly sympathetic when I made my way to the kitchens for breakfast. She still wouldn’t look at me, but at least she was treating me like more than some caught creature to be played with. Everyone was very kind, Lina personally offering to blast Xellos if he bothered me before I’d recovered properly. It was good to be reassured in their friendship, but I took my breakfast out to the lake all the same.

Now that I’m aware of being ill, it won’t take long to build my strength back up. I will be sure to take care of my body and eat properly, even when I’m not particularly hungry, like now. That combined with a day or two of rest should completely heal my body. My mind is proving to be another matter, growing consistently worse the further I read into the book about Rezo.

It had been written by mazoku.

Which mazoku, I’m not rightly certain, but the author occasionally talks about Rezo in terms only a member of the monster race would understand. He is even referred to as ‘one of the pieces’ more than once, though old Ruby Eye never comes up by name. It’s a fascinating new angle on the man I had once called grandfather. The mazoku detailed things about his life and his actions I would never find in a human text. Things a human wouldn’t even think to notice, like the fact that his great healing powers worked on creatures of darkness as well as on those of light, or that he wore two different sized shoes. Obviously some of these facts are tantalizing new leads while others were merely pointless observation, but it is their mere presence that helps lift my dark mood.

I checked the page that had been marked by Xellos before I read anything else today. That was where I got the information about Rezo’s shoes. Apparently Xellos has a short limit to his helpfulness.

“Maybe I just thought that information would be most helpful to you!” At the sound of the trickster’s voice, I snap the book shut. I don’t care what he says, he can read my mind, there is no way he can read things like that off my face. I glare up at him, but there is no change in his sunny grin. “And are we feeling any better this morning, Zel-chan?”

I stand slowly, not wanting to have the trickster towering over me like he was. “Why are you here, Xellos?”

“I can’t show concern for a poor sick friend?” I thoroughly strangle the urge to pummel him. I then beat down the urge to strangle him.

“Why are you helping me? You’ve been doing everything in your power to keep me safe these last few days while being just annoying enough that I still want to kill you.” His smile grows and I receive that little head bow again. “Assuming that doing both at once is more troublesome than it is amusing, I just want to know why.”

“Apparently, Zelgadis-san, you are worth protecting.” For a few moments he is quiet, letting me puzzle that one out. Then he holds one finger up beside his head as if a thought had just occurred to him. “You don’t really think I was doing everything in my power, do you? Because if that were the case I think I would feel insulted.”

I sigh, scrubbing at my eyes. He’s pretending to pout now and the look is somehow more infuriating than his usual grin. All right, enough of this derailed line of questioning, time to move on to other matters. “This book,” I begin, holding the mentioned tome between our two chests. “This was written by a mazoku, wasn’t it?”

“Very astute, Zel-chan. Ever the scholar, I knew you’d figure it out once you sat down and actually read the thing.”

“That’s why you took it, isn’t it?”

“And it worked wonderfully! As soon as it was gone, all you could think about was that you’d never get to read it again. When I gave it back, you dove right in!”

I really, really hate to admit it, but he has a point. “Thank you.”

For a long moment, he says nothing. His smile fades and he opens his eyes, giving me a glimpse of the power he usually hides from sight. As the silence stretches, I realize again that his staff is still missing and I wonder again why that bothers me. “That’s the first time you’ve ever said that to me.”

I blink at the statement, but my response dies as I realize he’s probably right. Suddenly I know why the staff’s absence is bothering me. It’s his weapon and the fact that he’s appearing without it is a sign he isn’t prepared for a fight. It’s less obvious with Xellos because his whole body is a weapon, of course, but the symbolism is still the same. The thought of the priest as something other than an enemy is difficult to acclimate to. Though if I’m honest about it, the idea isn’t particularly unpleasant. The silence is stretching again and with Xellos showing no signs of breaking it, I feel I must say something. “Who wrote this?” I ask, hefting the book again.

A mock frown stretches across Xellos’ lips and he tilts his head to the side. “Are you really so eager to be rid of my presence, Zel-chan?”

I feel myself grin back at him, effortlessly picking up the back and forth of the teasing. “You only have to leave if you tell me it’s a secret.” This is familiar, too, the banter practically a reflex. When did I start expecting the mazoku’s presence? When did I stop minding so much?

“Well, then I won’t say it. Surely there’s something else a lovesick chimera would rather talk about. Maybe the slow painful death of the rival suitor?”

Whether he’s teasing or truly sympathetic, the barb about Amelia hurts and I drop my head slightly. “Maybe,” I mutter, fighting my common sense to get it out. “Maybe we could just go for another swim?”

Almost before I finish speaking, he’s reaching for me again, his fingers spreading over my chest. I feel it as whatever spell he’s come up with washes through my body and suddenly the pull of the water is much stronger. Grinning again, I turn and toss the book at the base of a tree far from the water’s edge and throw my cloak and gloves after it. Then, without proper warning, I spin back around, barreling into the startled priest. We’re in the water in seconds, wrestling through the ripples that aspire to be waves. After a few seconds we break apart, getting our heads back above water, spluttering, coughing and laughing. Both of us, laughing. Well, Amelia did say she wished I were happy more often.

So much has changed and it’s going to take me quite a while to get things straight. Amelia will still hurt for some time, I know, and the thought of Xellos like this will probably give me more than one nightmare. I can deal with all of that later. Right now the desire to be a kid is too great. It’s too hot and the water feels too good to be doing anything other than swimming with a friend.

-o-o-o- owari -o-o-o-