A whiter shade of pale

Author: LumCheng (May'07 - July'08)
Translators: Nifen, Ito-chan, Suki (germ. to engl.)
Betareaders: BJA Fan, flagfish
Website: lumcheng./profile
Chapter: 1/10
Fandom: Death Note
Disclaimer: DN and the characters are not mine, blabla!
Pairing: Matt x Mello
Rating: MA
Warnings: yaoi, angst, drama, dark, lemon, action, violence
C&C: LumCheng(at)

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

“Mello? Mello, look at me!“

No! No, I don’t want to!

His voice sounds articulate, clear, and authoritative. I like his voice… usually.
But not when his voice is like this.
It hurts. I want to be alone. To simply sleep.
Or die. It doesn’t matter. As long as it doesn't hurt any longer.

“Mello…”

His voice is softer now.

“Mello, I’m turning on the light now. I can barely see anything.”

“No!”

In panic, I try to get up to stop him, but I overestimate my strength and fall down. The collision with the floor hurts. I'm furious. The rustling of his clothes tells me that he's approaching me, despite my having forbidden him to do so.

“Stay away!”

I crawl back haggardly, hissing low when he kneels in front of me, like you do with a sick, hurt little animal.
But his scent is fantastic, and for a moment, I close my eyes and breathe in softly, for the sake of forgetting everything else for just two seconds. But again, he can’t stop touching me, and I flinch, startled.

“Fuck you, Matt!”

His hand, resting on my right shoulder, moves on and softly strokes my neck and finally my right cheek.

“Tss. Even now you cuss like a sailor. It seems you still have the strength to swear…”

He sounds slightly amused, while I’d like to hit the roof out of pain. Livid, I stave off his hand and immediately regret the impetuous movement.

“Back off! I won’t tell you again.”

“Nope. I didn’t end up coming here to have you rant at me, Mello. I was told you were dead.”

A long pause follows this sentence. Only now do I realize just HOW quiet it is here… here in this hole. Like some dirty street-mutt I dwelled here for days. Supporting myself with stolen medicine, avoiding the raunchy shower. I smell like a tramp, not to mention that I feel like half my body is fucked up. Nearly the complete left half… one single large wound. I disgust myself.

“How bad is it?”

“I can handle it. Now back off and leave me alone.”

“I can see that…”

His voice rings mockingly, and I hear him taking off his vest in the semi-darkness.
I don’t want anybody to see me in this state. Especially not Matt.

“Can I put this somewhere without being in danger of getting scabies when I put it back on?”

“No, so you better put it back on now and then—ohh! Damnit!”

Immediately, he's back by my side. I squeeze my right eye shut in protest and start ranting again, when the blue light of his mobile phone is thrown on me.

“Oh my God!”

He sounds aghast. Yeah, most likely I would be too, if I were in his place. But luckily, there are no mirrors around. I don't want to know what my face looks like at all. The sight of the rest of my body is already sickening enough.

“Why haven’t you…? Okay, forget it. It doesn’t matter, I'm here now. Is there any clean water here?”

“Forget it! I don’t need your help!”

“I know that, Mello. So? Where do I find water, clean sheets, and the first-aid-kit?”

The presumptuousness of this man is really amazing. He switches on the light. Oh joy! Didn’t I tell him not to? But I'm quite surprised that he found the cord…
Weak, yellowish light feebly illuminates the filthy room where I temporarily live. The single light bulb keeps on swinging for a little while until it sways to a stop and hangs down in a straight line, flickering slightly.

“Forgot to pay the electricity bill?”

“Stop fooling around!”

He searches for things I don’t have. Clean water? Here? Really… While he looks around I crawl to the table and grab the small orange tube with the white tablets. Reputedly painkillers, but somehow they either aren’t effective, are too weak, or don’t work with me because I'm used to stronger stuff. Fantastic. I drag and turn the lid until it finally pops open and then take two of the little pills, swallowing them without chewing.
He returns and puts the first-aid kit next to me on the floor. Then he takes off his goggles.
Okay, he’s serious. He’s really serious about this! I can’t believe it…

“I should have found you earlier.”

He speaks so quietly that I have to make an effort to understand him, though there are no background noises. Not even the cliché dripping water tap. No ticking clocks, no humming fridge. I haven’t eaten for days.

“No. You never should have come. I died a week ago.”

Instead of an answer, he silently starts to peel me from the remnants of my leather vest. The hours that follow are painful and humiliating, and I don’t know if I will ever forgive him… not yet…

-tbc-

Mjah , what do you think? It’s the first time I puplish a fic in engl. T-T
I hope you like it. Lum