Disclaimer: I do hereby disclaim all rights and responsibilities for the characters in this short bit of mischief… especially for the victims. Poor dears. Never knew what hit 'em. A nod of recognition is bent towards Rumiko Takahashi for her creative prowess.

A Debt of Gratitude: With thanks to mine beta Fenikkusuken and my baituh JMaxwell, who take me about as seriously as I do.

Originally posted to Live Journal on July 21, 2008.

Driven to Distraction

Kagome cringed as foaming, blood-flecked spittle spattered her cheek. "Inuyasha! There's a shard in his forehead!" she warned, trying to twist free. Her captor threw his head back, roaring his fury to the skies, and she bit her lip, whimpering as claws dug more deeply into her shoulders. "Please, Royakan! Don't you recognize us? We're your friends!"

"Let Kagome go, you bastard!" bellowed Inuyasha, brandishing his sword at the ravening demon.

"It's no use! The shard must be tainted; he's probably under Naraku's control again!" Sango shouted.

Miroku's expression was grim. "He's normally such a peace-loving creature, but if we can't get through to him soon…"

"I'll kill him," growled the hanyou.

If only I could reach the shard! Maybe I could purify it? As another terrifying howl deafened her, Kagome tried to glimpse her friends, and the resolve in their expressions didn't bode well for the youkai who held her in a vise-like grip. "Don't hurt him! It's not his fault!" she pleaded. What am I going to do? There must be something! Though the gentle forest protector was obviously fighting the darkened shard's evil influence, her voice wasn't reaching him. I guess I need Plan B.

Kagome searched her mind for anything that had worked against raging youkai in the past. You know, this does seem familiar. She peered up at Royakan's snarling face, and realized that she'd been in this very position once before. It worked then. Did she dare? Right. Plan B.

Everyone froze, including the shard-crazed youkai, and every jaw dropped. "W-what in the hell is she… she…" stammered Inuyasha.

Miroku was the first to recover from his surprise, and he surged to the fore, taking advantage of the moment's distraction. A well-placed sutra and a well-aimed blow ended the demon's rampage; he crumpled to the ground with Kagome on top of him. As the monk helped her to her feet, he tipped her a wink, saying, "It appears that even Royakan cannot resist the kiss of a pretty girl."

Coming to himself, Inuyasha stormed to the young woman's side. "You! You… you… how could you?" he demanded.

The Shikon shard from Royakan was purified by her touch, and she smiled with satisfaction. "What do you mean, Inuyasha?"

"You… he…" He stabbed a claw in the direction of the unconscious youkai, who looked entirely too happy for decency's sake. "You kissed him!"

"Come on, Inuyasha. Don't make a big deal out of it," Kagome replied with a dismissive wave. "It worked, didn't it? That's the important thing."

"We couldn't have done it without you," cheerfully agreed the monk. Before Inuyasha could retort, Miroku caught his eye and shook his head. Gritting his teeth, the hanyou turned on his heel and stalked away, muttering obscenities.

The moth demon swooped in and latched onto Kagome, carrying her upwards with a salvo of taunts and maniacal laughter. Inuyasha leapt after them in a heartbeat, Sango and Kirara close behind. From the ground, Miroku and Shippo calmly watched the rescue effort. "He's getting awful high," Shippo remarked. "Think Inuyasha can keep up?"

"Oh, I'd say he's sufficiently motivated. He won't let any harm come to Kagome-sama." Suddenly, the kidnapper's wing-beats faltered, and he listed awkwardly to one side. "That's odd. Was he hit?" inquired the monk.

The farsighted kitsune slowly shook his head. "Nuh-uh. Inuyasha's on Kirara now, and they're almost there… but that demon's acting weird all on his own."

As the moth continued to dip erratically, Kirara made the most of her opportunity. An extra burst of speed delivered Inuyasha into striking distance, and a vengeful streak of red and silver hurtled towards its prey. "Oh, dear," murmured Miroku as something separated from the youkai and plummeted towards the earth.

Sango urged her companion into a dive, and Kirara came up under the falling girl. "We've got her, Inuyasha!" shouted the slayer. "Are you injured, Kagome?" Sango asked as the fire-cat banked to return to the rest of their group.

"Never better!" she replied. In fact, when they reached the ground, Kagome slid off Kirara's back and indulged in a small victory dance. "Woohoo! I did it! I did it!" she chanted. "Let's hear it for Plan B!"

"Plan… B…?" Shippo echoed blankly. Sango could only shrug helplessly.

Inuyasha touched down, shot a furious glare at Kagome, then collared Miroku for a private word. "She. Fucking. Kissed. Him," he bit out, eyes blazing.

"You don't say," the monk said, laughing uncomfortably in the face of the hanyou's towering ire.

"Tell me something, Miroku. If you're the one who knocked Royakan on his ass, and I'm the one who turned this idiot inside out, why would Kagome think that she accomplished anything by… by…." He couldn't bring himself to say it again. "It's ridiculous!"

Miroku considered before answering, "You have to admit that in each case, her tactic did work in our favor."

"All she did was provide a fucking distraction!"

"Calm yourself, Inuyasha. There's really no harm in letting Kagome-sama think she played a part in her escape. Strictly speaking, she did, and just look at her," Miroku said, gesturing to the ecstatic young woman. "Instead of frightening her, this experience has boosted her confidence. That certainly can't be bad, and it's highly unlikely that these circumstances will repeat themselves." The monk elbowed the hanyou, adding, "Perhaps in the end, the real problem is… you're jealous." Inuyasha scowled darkly, refusing to answer.

Sesshoumaru gazed off into the trees, placidly ignoring everyone in the immediate vicinity. If it weren't for the fact that he had his arm around one of his brother's human companions, Tokijin poised at her throat, anyone might have called his expression peaceful. Though he seemed caught in a reverie, the taiyoukai didn't miss one word of the whispered conference that was underway.

"If he was going to kill her, she'd already be dead," Miroku reasoned.

"He's got Kagome!" snarled Inuyasha for the umpteenth time.

"Though his sense of diplomacy leaves much to be desired, I think we should hear Sesshoumaru-sama out," the monk advised.

Choosing to ignore the insult, the demon lord waited patiently for the hanyou to submit to the inevitable. I will gain the information I desire. As the woman he had captured shifted within his grasp, Sesshoumaru's attention was snared by an unexpected interruption.

"Uh… guys? I think Kagome's gonna… you know…" stated the kitsune nervously.

The taiyoukai glanced dispassionately towards the small knot of people that was wisely keeping its distance, and his eyes widened slightly. All of them were gesturing frantically—waving their hands, shaking their heads, mouthing the word 'no'. What foolishness is this? Sesshoumaru wondered.

"Oh, sweet, merciful Buddha," groaned the monk, covering his eyes.

The oath spurred Inuyasha into action, and he took a few steps towards his brother, one hand outstretched. The taiyoukai narrowed his eyes at the hanyou's audacity, but Inuyasha only increased his pace, shouting, "Sesshoumaru! Look out!"

Thinking the female must be on the verge of fainting, Sesshoumaru checked on his hostage, but to his surprise, she wasn't in a swoon. On the contrary, she was staring up at him with an unnerving glint in her eyes, and he was quite sure he heard her mutter, "Plan B," before the unthinkable occurred.

Sesshoumaru's eyes crossed. Tokijin slipped from limp fingers. Inuyasha hauled Kagome away from his stunned brother, threw her over his shoulder, and they all ran for it. Afterwards, Miroku said it was difficult to say which brother was more traumatized by Kagome's rash behavior. One thing was sure, though. Inuyasha had reached his limit. "No more," he vowed.

"Naraku!" Inuyasha challenged, drawing his blade. Their arch nemesis had them hemmed in, but it was him, not some decoy. This is our chance! He dies here! A sinister smile was Inuyasha's only warning before tentacles swarmed towards Kagome, but the hanyou had been expecting something of the sort. Hell no! Inuyasha's mind screamed, and before Naraku could snatch Kagome, he threw himself in front of her.

"Inuyasha," called Naraku mockingly. "Are you so eager to join me? That can be arranged."

Sango aimed Hiraikotsu at the impaling bonds and Miroku wielded his staff, but the writhing flesh only re-formed, pulling Inuyasha closer. There's no need to panic. This happens all the time, Kagome thought as she readied her bow and sent an arrow flying. Naraku sidestepped the glowing bolt, so she quickly notched another. Hold still! Hold still! Hold still! she chanted, but the moment she loosed her missile, her target dodged. Kagome cried out in frustration lowered her bow.

The others weren't having any more success. "Can you distract him for me, Sango?" Miroku asked, hoping to coordinate with the slayer. Still, Naraku evaded their attacks, driving them back with frustrating ease.

This isn't working! Suddenly, Kagome gasped. That's it!

Naraku suspended his victim in front of him, using a finger under Inuyasha's chin to tilt his face. "You're hardly worth absorbing; perhaps I'll make you my puppet and turn you against your friends." Red eyes gleamed maliciously as his coils constricted, wresting a strangled cry from his prisoner.

"You bastard!" Inuyasha swore as he grappled with his captor. "I'll make you regret you ever knew me."

"Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled. "Inuyasha, use Plan B!"

There ain't no way. No. Way. Inuyasha wrenched his head around, but the only person he could see was Miroku, who gave him an encouraging thumbs-up.

As the hanyou's struggling abruptly ceased, Naraku raised his eyebrows. "Has your courage left you?" he taunted, taking pleasure in the hatred blazing from amber eyes. "Such a shame."

"Shame doesn't even begin to cover this," Inuyasha snarled. Pressing forward, he executed Plan B.

After it was all over, they agreed that the whole truth behind Naraku's demise should remain a closely guarded secret. We all worked together. They did not wish to see Inuyasha's 'sacrifice' demeaned in any way, so they always spoke in generalities. It was a group effort. Only Miroku, who couldn't resist teasing, ever hinted about their hanyou's role in the final battle. "I will never forget that momentous day, with Inuyasha and Naraku face-to-face…"

Sango and Kagome exchanged glances, and Shippo rolled his eyes with a here-we-go-again expression. "Miroku," warned the hanyou.

"Engaging the enemy with boldness…"

"Miroku," Inuyasha growled, eyes narrowing.

"Dueling with such passion…"

"Miroku," the hanyou repeated, his voice dropping dangerously.

The monk laughed and raised his hands in a placating manner. "All I'm saying is that thanks to you, everything went…"

"…according to plan," Inuyasha finished for him. "Would you drop it already? You always bring this up because you know it fucking drives me…"

"…to distraction," chorused the group in unison.

End Note: This admittedly corny oneshot was written for the Live Journal community iy(underscore)blind and their prompt for July of 2008—Plan B. 1,789 words.