Unobtainable

By: emeraldoni

::Perhaps, inside, we all carry a selfish desire to put ourselves first…::

Sometimes he likes to remember how he was born. Not because he gets any special warmth, or love from the memory, but because he likes to remind himself how much of a monster he really is. Never has he been good or kind, never has he been loving, or loved.

And so when he appears beneath him, hair glowing in the weak rays of moonlight filtering through the thick foliage, he almost wishes to cry. She looks up, knowing exactly where he is—

(How does she know? She always knows.)

--and then settles down, legs crossed on the ground as she pulls out lotion to put on her chapped, battle worn hands. She is perfection, despite the weary bags beneath her eyes, and the blood caked beneath her fingernails, she is an angel. He forgets his birth, his death, and every murder he has ever committed. He forgets Sasuke and his vendetta and his threats.

Juugo thinks he loves her. Not as a woman, not as anything. He just loves her. She has his loyalty and respect and admiration. He would follow her; leave Sasuke, in an instant if she asked him to.

(But she never would.)

After a couple minutes of studying her slim figure, he drops from the trees. His hair shadows his thin face as she looks up and smiles—

(Would she smile if she knew what he has done?)

--and pats a patch of dirt next to her.

“Come sit down, Juugo.”

She watches him as he sits. His shoulders tense and his eyes always remain on her face, wary and hopeful, like a dog that has been kicked too many times, but still remains loyal. She relaxes, his presence soothing, despite the awkwardness he exhibits. She is attached, like a patient to a painkiller. She is addicted to him.

Despite all her flaws he still comes back. He travels all the way to her home, to his enemy, to his killer, just to see her, to smell her, to watch her as she uses him and destroys herself.

Slowly she reaches over and grabs his hand, thinking about war, and Konoha: Sasuke and Naruto: and the way her past still floods her future like an uncontrolled tsunami of memories. Bu the feel of callused fingers beneath hers, cold and slightly damp with nervousness, makes her believe that she is not trapped in this endless, hated cycle. And slowly she begins to wish that even Sasuke would disappear.

And in town Naruto vows Sakura’s loyalty has he downs another round of sake with his friends. Becoming more flushed and relaxed as he speaks on her devotion and unending loyalty. On how she wouldn’t betray him, and he her, for the world.

Sakura slides closer to Juugo, brushing her own soft lips against his, sighing as he tenses then relaxes, as his hands rest lightly on her trim waist.

Because she is loyal and he is broken, because he wants to forget and she can’t help but remember. He seeks solace in her body, her mind, her smile and eyes and hair, while she focuses on his lips and thinks that this is new. This is the future.

::And the cycle is broken.::