Channel 150- The Sorting

“I’m sorry, but if you’re going to be staying at Hogwarts again then the rest of you will have to be sorted as well,” said Dumbledore with a sigh as everyone stood in front of them and gave heavy and exasperated sighs.

“Does everyone remember where they were before?” Hiyoshi asked. “Me and Shinji are in Hufflepuff.”

“Yeah, so am I,” said Eiji, looking depressed because Oishi wasn’t in the same house as him.

So the people who had already been sorted split up to make it easier for those who had to be sorted. Momo, Taka, Oishi and Ryoma were all in Gryffindor. Eiji, Choutarou, Kamio, Hiyoshi and Shinji were in Hufflepuff. Atobe, Kirihara, Shishido, Fuji and Kaidou were in Slytherin. Finally, Ryou, Atsushi, Oshitari and Inui were in Ravenclaw.

“Who will go first?” Dumbledore asked, holding the hat.

“We’ll just go in order again,” Inui said, gesturing for Saeki and Itsuki to take the initiative and volunteer themselves.

Saeki decided to go first and he sat down on the stool. Dumbledore put the sorting hat on his head and after somewhat of a pause, the hat screamed, “RAVENCLAW!”

Saeki jumped about a million miles (give or take) in the air and nearly stumbled off the stool.

“Oh yeah, the hat screams stuff,” said Momo.

“Someone could have warned me!” Saeki exclaimed.

“I thought it was obvious, said Dumbledore.

“No, not particularly,” Saeki said.

“Regardless, you are now in Ravenclaw,” said Dumbledore.

“It’s the best house,” said Oshitari since he was also in Ravenclaw.

“No way,” Atobe said, crossing his arms. “Slytherin is the best.”

“All the houses are equal in wonderfulness,” said Dumbledore.

But everyone just said whatever to him as Itsuki sat down at the stool. He was prepared for the hat to shout something, but it took a little while for the hat to come to a conclusion before it shouted, “GRYFFINDOR!”

“You know, it’s not really necessary to scream since this is a small room and we’re all standing pretty close,” said Shishido.

“It is the Sorting Hat’s way,” said Dumbledore. “Who is next?”

“Bane,” Inui ordered.

“Fine,” said Bane as he sat down. “I just hope I don’t get Hufflepuff. That one has a stupid name.”

“OH YEAH?” shouted the hat. “Very well then, HUFFLEPUFF!”

“Hey!” said Bane. “I don’t want to be in the worst house!”

“Hufflepuff isn’t that bad!” said Kamio, putting his hands on his hips.

“Hufflepuff isn’t bad at all,” Shinji corrected him.

David was the next to be sorted. “GRYFFINDOR!” said the hat.

“I’m glad I’m not in Hufflepuff too just because I don’t want to be punched,” said David, taking a look at the other people who were in Gryffindor.

“I’ll come over and visit,” said Bane as if that sort of thing should be exciting for David.

Next up in line was Shiraishi.

“Someone has been put into every house so far except Slytherin,” said Kirihara. “Which only goes to show how exclusive and awesome it is.”

“Oh yeah,” said the rest of the Slytherin members as they high fived.

Everyone kind of wanted Shiraishi to be put in Slytherin just because they wanted the others to have to take their heinous comments back, but unfortunately the hat ended up saying, “RAVENCLAW!”

“Well, maybe it’s just that Ravenclaw is the best so they like to pile all the best people in it!” said Ryou.

“It’s true,” said Inui thoughtfully. “Shiraishi did beat Fuji in tennis.”

Fuji squinted his eye at Inui who quickly looked away, and was thankful for his glasses because those things filter that kind of shit.

Marui was next in line. He moved his health bar and special move bar to the side so the hat could fit on his head. “GRYFFINDOR!” shouted the hat.

“I fail to see the significance of the houses anyway!” said Marui. Everyone still wanted to break the Slytherin seal.

It was Jackal’s turn next so he pushed his health and special move bars to the side as well and donned the hat. The hat waited a long time because Jackal doesn’t really have a personality (maybe even less so than Hiyoshi) and then the hat finally said, “HUFFLEPUFF!”

“It’s too bad that Rikkai Dai is all split up like this,” said Jackal but, again, he just wanted to be the one to get into Slytherin first.

The only ones that remained were Niou and Yagyuu and just as they were discussing who would go first, Dumbledore put his hand up. “Sorry,” he said. “I think I must draw the line at admitting the undead into Hogwarts.”

“Well, we’re not really zombies,” said Yagyuu, holding Niou back before he could smack a bitch.

“Do you eat brains of the living?” Dumbledore asked.

Yagyuu and Niou looked at each other. “No,” said Niou unconvincingly.

When Dumbledore gave them a look, Yagyuu said, “Well, admittedly, sometimes.”

“Then you’re real zombies and therefore you can’t be in Hogwarts,” said Dumbledore.

“Hey, show me the rule in the Hogwarts book that says zombies can’t go to the school!” Kirihara demanded, coming to the defense of his fellow Rikkai Dai members.

“Well…there is no rule…” Dumbledore said.

“Besides, we’re only going to be here for a day at the most,” Inui said. “Our mission is only to win another game of Quiddich.”

Dumbledore looked a little disgruntled, but he finally caved. “Very well,” he said. “But you must wear cloaks at all time! If the students found out that you were zombies, they might want to go home.”

No one wanted to tell Dumbledore that it was unlikely anyone would want to leave if they found out zombies were on campus. After all, everyone stayed in school when there was a giant man eating snake slithering about in the pipes, and everyone stayed in school when various other horrible and unnatural things were occurring during the year.

So Dumbledore reluctantly started to put the Sorting Hat on Niou’s head, but before the hat touched him, it shouted, “SLYTHERIN!”

“Lame!” said Shishido.

“And the other one, Slytherin too,” said the hat.

“You don’t even have to check?” said Yagyuu.

“I just don’t want to touch you guys,” said the hat.

“I take offense to that,” said Yagyuu.

“Well, anyway,” said Dumbledore. “You may all go to your houses. And I would just like to say again that we are very thankful you eradicated the Dark Lord during your last visit and that is the only reason why I can forgive the murder of Professor Snape and half of the Gryffindor Quiddich Team including my favorite, Harry Potter.”

“I’m very sorry about that,” said Choutarou, bowing his head in shame.

“I’m not sorry,” said Atobe since he had been the one to dispose of Professor Snape.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and then dismissed them to head to their common rooms until the next Hufflepuff Quiddich game.

“Are you still going to play as the Seeker for Hufflepuff, Ootori?” Hiyoshi asked.

“Well sure,” said Choutarou. “If it will help us get to the next Universe faster, then I’m always willing to help!”

“Hey, can I play on the Quiddich Team too?” Jackal asked.

“No, you’re not magical like us,” said Shinji. “And therefore you wouldn’t be able to make your broom fly and therefore you would be pretty useless when it came to a game of Quiddich because you wouldn’t be able to get off the ground.”

Hiyoshi looked like he was only waiting for Shinji to finish and then he added, “Besides, we don’t feel like explaining the rules to you.”

“Can you explain the rules to me?” Bane asked.

“It’s not that interesting,” Eiji admitted.

“And it’s really complicated and annoying,” said Hiyoshi. “And if the game goes by as fast as it did last time then we shouldn’t have a problem, especially since Harry Potter is dead.”

“Who’s Harry Potter?” asked Bane.

“That is an even longer and more complicated explanation,” said Shinji. “But I’ll start if you want me to.”

“No, that’s all right,” said everyone else.