Author’s Note: I HATE allergies. Every spring I get hay-fever or whatever when the pollen is in the air, and it sucks ass. Plus dust makes my eyes all watery and I start sneezing like crazy, so it was somewhat easy for me to write this. Hope you like it! Thanks, LovelySandAngel, for the suggestion! Later! Read and Review, please!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto.

Gaara Gets Allergies

“I said NO.” Gaara stated firmly, glaring down at the ground.

The kitten ignored him, instead rubbing its fluffy little body against Gaara’s legs with renewed vigor. The sand ninja sighed. Stupid cat. Didn’t know when to take a hint. He’d spent all morning dashing around the whole village, trying to lose the tiny annoyance, and yet the cat had miraculously managed to keep up with him the entire way. Gaara had heard talk about how cats were somewhat supernatural beings, but this just didn’t make sense. It was a kitten, for goodness sakes!

And quite a cute one at that. The infant feline was black all over, fluffy as a cotton-ball, and stubborn as a mule. Gaara had been saying ‘no’ to it for several hours now and it still refused to accept his decision. It sat there staring at him with its bright yellow eyes and swishing its little sprig of a tail, just waiting for Gaara to give up and take it home already.

He’d even tried scaring it away. Walking into a darkened alley of his choosing, Gaara had whirled around, eyes wide and bloodshot, hair bristling, sand snaking around his torso like tendrils. Then he’d shouted the most filthy, vulgar words he knew (which he’d learned from Keifer Sutherland of 24, a fact Temari knew and very much hated) at the cat, hoping this would be enough to frighten it away. Heck, if he’d done it to an 800-pound gorilla (or perhaps Choji), the thing probably would have turned albino and shot off for the hills.

The kitten hadn’t even flinched. In fact, it had simply arched its spine and hissed right back.

Gaara sighed. He couldn’t keep this up for long. Already his conviction was waning and he could feel the pangs of pity and attachment wrapping around his heart like vines. If he didn’t do something quick he was going to buckle under the pressure.

Just one last try.

Gaara bent over and plucked the kitten off the ground, holding it gingerly by the scruff of the neck with his thumb and forefinger. Lifting it to his face, he stared straight into the intelligent yellow orbs with abject seriousness.

“I can’t keep you. Go away.”

“Meeeow!” The kitten mewled, its tiny pink tongue and white teeth flashing as it yawned.

Daaaaamn.

Temari was going to kill him.

--

Gaara slowly eased open the front door of his house and peeked in.

Left. Right. Nothing.

Good.

Opening the door all the way, he scooted in quickly and closed it with the back of his foot. He paused and listened carefully, making sure the house was well and truly empty. One mistake was all it would take for the end to come. One foolish, fatal mistake, and he would be dead.

Well, maybe not dead, but grounded, which was still pretty bad.

He heard nothing but his own soft breathing. Perfect.

“Meow!” The kitten’s fuzzy little head popped out of the front of Gaara’s shirt, shaking and blinking its eyes rapidly. Gaara carefully pulled the cat from its hiding place and held it in his hands.

“What am I going to do with you?” He asked it softly. “Temari won’t let me keep you, and Kankuro hates cats. Maybe I can-”

“Gaaaaara!” Temari’s voice wafted in from behind the closed door. She must have arrived home mere seconds after him.

“Crap.” Gaara had to hide the cat, and hide it NOW. He couldn’t shove it down his shirt again, she’d surely notice the wiggling bulge and ask about it. How about using a Henge Jutsu to turn it into a potted plant? No, then she’d wonder why the new fern was purring. Then Gaara’s eyes caught the closet door. It would have to do. He had no other option at the moment, anyway.

Quick as a fox, Gaara darted forward, snatched the closet door open, dumped the kitten inside, and swung it closed just as Temari opened the front door.

“I knew I’d seen you coming in!” She said with a smile. Then she turned and hollered behind her. “Move it, Kankuro! Those bags aren’t THAT heavy!”

“Ohh, my arms!” Kankuro moaned, burdened with so many grocery bags Gaara was having trouble seeing him under all of them. “I think they’re dislocated! Hey Gaara, pop ‘em back in for me, would you?”

Temari took off her coat and started for the closet. Gaara swiftly jumped in her way.

“Um, here. Let me get that for you.” He said politely. Temari paused and frowned at him.

“I’m still not letting you watch 24,” she said, eying him suspiciously.

“That’s fine.” Gaara took her coat and moved aside as Kankuro lumbered in, struggling under the weight of the bags.

“Don’t drop anything!” Temari threatened, walking into the kitchen. Kankuro rolled his eyes at his brother, who shrugged his shoulder apologetically. Once the two had both entered the other room, Gaara opened the closet door for a millisecond to deposit Temari’s coat and check to see that the kitten was still in there. It was, and it obviously wasn’t very happy about it.

Too bad.

Gaara closed the door in its face and followed his siblings into the kitchen.

“Damn, that was a workout!” Kankuro puffed as he heaved the bags onto the table. Taking off his odd pointed black cap, he used it to wipe the sweat from his brow and tossed it onto a chair. Gaara took a seat in another one while Temari headed to the sink to clean a few plates for lunch.

“How was your day, Gaara?” She asked as she worked.

“Uh, fine.” Gaara kept his eyes down and tried to keep himself from fidgeting.

“A lot better than mine, I bet!” Kankuro grunted. “Devil-sister Temari forced me to be her slave for the day and carry around all the groceries!”

“What are you complaining for?!” Temari glared at him over her shoulder. “We needed to stock up on food, plus you’re going to be the one who eats most of it!”

“Are you saying I’m fat?”

“Well just look at yourself! What do you call that huge gut of yours?”

“That’s the protective covering for my rock-hard abs!”

“Oh, bullcrap!”

Gaara wasn’t really listening to the two bicker. He was used to it. Instead he glanced at the closet and froze. The door was open about an inch. Just enough room for a naughty little kitten to squeeze out and cause trouble. Quickly flickering his gaze around the room, Gaara desperately tryed to locate the cat before his brother or sister could.

Where? Where? Gaara couldn’t see it in the hallway outside the kitchen, it had obviously already left the closet, and the stairway to upstairs was opposite the hallway, so it couldn’t have slipped by and gone up there, either. So where on earth was it?

Oh, wait.

Gaara looked down.

“Mew!” The kitten was there, rubbing up against his ankle, totally oblivious to the danger that was just around the corner. Kankuro and Temari were still arguing, their backs turned to the two culprits. Gaara moved fast. Kankuro’s hat was the only thing useable in the immediate area. He just hoped the cat didn’t have to use the bathroom. Grabbing the head ornament from the chair, he quickly scooped the kitten (which yowled in protest) into it just in time.

“What was…?” Temari turned around, a questioning look on her face.

“Nothing.” Gaara answered innocently, clutching Kankuro’s hat to his chest. Temari frowned but turned back to the sink. Kankuro had other plans.

“’Kay, I’m off! I’ve got a mission to do this afternoon, so I’ll try to finish it quick and be home for supper. Wish me luck! Oh, thanks, Gaara.” Kankuro whisked his hat from Gaara’s grasp, whose voice had caught in his throat as his brother started for the door, his bulging, wiggling hat tight in his grip. After several seconds he finally found the strength to warn him.

“Don’t put that-”

Too late.

Kankuro had placed the cap atop his spiked head and was pulling it down snugly. “MrraaAAAAWRRR!”

“Aaaaaaugh!”

--

“Ow! You’re hurting me, woman!” Kankuro growled, ducking away from Temari and her bottle of Iodine.

“Sit still!” She commanded, grabbing a clump of his earth-colored hair to ensure her order. “It’s hard enough as it is treating wounds on the top of your head without having to dig through this jungle to get to them! Geez, do you ever even wash your hair?”

“Nope!” Kankuro declared proudly.

“That’s it! I’m giving you a bath!” Temari narrowed her eyes dangerously.

“Just try! I’ll call the cops on you for sexual abuse, lady!”

“I’m your friggin’ sister!”

“So what? You’re a girl!”

“Don’t make me go UFC on your ass!”

“Bring it, bitch! I’ve been watching ‘Buffy’ and I’m sooo ready!”

“You did NOT just call me a bitch!” Temari hollered, dumping the rest of the bottle of Iodine right onto the top of Kankuro’s injured head.

“IIIIIEEEEE!” Kankuro went to the ground, writhing in agony.

Gaara sat off to the side, watching the ensuing chaos while holding the kitten on his lap. It purred in contentment, snuggling into a tight ball and dozing lightly. It was amazing what a single saucer of milk could do to calm a hissing and spitting ball of fuzz. Apparently the kitten hadn’t enjoyed the incident any more than Kankuro and had simply been voicing its opinion. Kankuro just hadn’t gotten the message quick enough.

“So, what are we going to do about that cat?” Temari had laid off kicking Kankuro while he was down and turned to her other, much more behaved sibling. “Tell me where you found it.” Gaara told the kitten’s story, adding a few little white lies about how he found it starving in a back alley after its parents died in a flood and all its other relatives perished in a fire. Maybe he was piling on the melodrama a bit too much, but he just really wanted to keep the cat. Even if he had to guilt Temari into it.

“So…” Gaara finished, rubbing the sleeping kitten’s head with a finger, “Can I keep it?”

“No!” Kankuro had recovered by now and sat up, an angry look on his face. “You know I hate cats! Or they hate me, or whatever! I’m not living in the same household as a cat!”

“But…but it’s alright now. It’s calmed down. Here, pet it.” Gaara held out the kitten. Kankuro hesitated before cautiously extending a finger toward it.

“Hmm…yeah, maybe…”

“Mraaaaawrrr!” The kitten was wide awake in an instant.

“Aaaaaugh!” Kankuro barely managed to save his bleeding, shredded finger in time.

“Alright, I’ll let you keep it!” Temari said between laughs. “I think we’ll get along great!”

--

Gaara never slept. It was a well known fact among his siblings, since the cursed Shukaku never let him, what with him playing hard rock and metal somewhere deep in the confines of his psyche. This was the reason for Gaara’s constant nervousness and anxiety, as well as the dark circles around his eyes (which Gaara really didn’t mind because he rather liked them). Even after the help received from Naruto’s fist, Gaara still had trouble with the demon and its demanding ways. So Gaara never slept.

But he could doze for small amounts of time.

Gaara opened his eyes and yawned. It had been a nice nap. A good half hour to forty-five minutes. Naps like that helped clear his mind and rest his body. He started to sit up but felt something on his chest shift as he moved. Looking down, Gaara blinked in surprise.

It seemed the kitten enjoyed naps just as much as he did. It was curled up and purring a sonnet on his chest, eyes squeezed shut and ears flicking every now and then. Gaara felt too guilty to wake it up from its blissful slumber, so instead settled back down on his bed to wait for it to wake up on its own.

And then it happened.

Gaara suddenly felt itchy. It reminded him of the time he’d contracted chickenpox, with the diabolic itch starting in one place and then spreading all over his body like wildfire. The sensation grew and grew, and no matter if there was a sleeping kitten on his chest or not, Gaara had to do something about it. Carefully picking the kitten up and placing it beside him, Gaara sat up and scratched his arms and chest frantically. Ooooh, it itched! What on earth was going on?

Frowning, Gaara unbuttoned the first few catches of his long-sleeved shirt and peeked in at his bare chest. Something was wrong. His normally pale skin was splotched and red, something he’d never seen before with any of his previous ailments. And it itched something fierce. It was becoming unbearable.

Gaara quickly yanked off his shirt and stared at himself. The strange rash had spread all over his chest, stomach and arms. Craning his neck over his shoulder, he could see it even covered his back as well. What was it?

“Meow!” The kitten, suddenly awake, pounced onto Gaara’s face playfully. Gaara gasped in surprise and in doing so inhaled some of the cat’s stray hairs. What came next nearly shook the windows in their panes.

“AAA-CHOOO!”

“Hiisss!” The cat shot away in fright, hiding under Gaara’s dresser where it was safe.

Gaara sniveled. He sniffed. And he sneezed again, even louder this time. His eyes were suddenly filling with water, blurring his vision and burning his eyes. It felt like hundreds of feathers were tickling his nose, he couldn’t see a thing in front of him, and his skin itched so badly he wished he could shed it like his shirt. Whatever this was, it was awful.

“Gaara?” Temari asked, opening the door cautiously and peeking in. “Are you alright? I heard you sneeze and- oh, Gaara! What on earth?!” The door banged open all the way and she rushed in, concern clear on her face. “Tell me what’s wrong!”

Gaara tried, but ended up sneezing instead. He vainly tried to wipe his eyes dry and scratched feebly at the rash. Temari gaped at him, not knowing what to do.

“Mew?” The kitten popped its head out from under the dresser and looked at them expectantly.

“YOU!” Temari gasped, jabbing a finger at the culprit. “This is your fault! Gaara, you’re allergic to the cat! I should have known! I’m sorry, but it’s got to go! You’ll have to bring it to the pound!”

--

Gaara stood before the pound, tenderly holding the kitten in his arms. It was a run down, dreary building, with peeling paint and crumbling bricks. A large, sloppily painted sign on the front read: “Bring your unwanted pets here! We’ll kill them for free!”

He didn’t think he had the strength to do it. What would happen to it? Would they shove the kitten in a tiny, dark cage for a few years? Perform experiments on it? Maybe…maybe they’d even put it in the horrible gas chamber and kill it. He couldn’t do it. Perhaps if he took the kitten home and begged Temari-

Then he exploded with three sneezes in a row, his eyes tearing up and becoming so watery and bleary he couldn’t see a thing. The rash burned beneath his shirt, reminding him of its fury that still raged.

It was for the best.

Gaara took a deep breath and started toward the building.

--

Temari started on the laundry when Gaara had gone. Kankuro had also left, with a parting glare at the kitten and condolences for his unfortunate brother. He was busy and had a mission to carry out, which Temari didn’t particularly mind since he’d probably just get in the way while she was trying to do the chores.

“Poor kid,” she thought as she unloaded the dirty clothes into the tub of water. “Gaara must be heartbroken over that kitten. But there’s no way we can keep it, so the only place to bring it is the pound.” Still, she felt a bit guilty as she rolled up her sleeves, dumped the laundry detergent in, and began giving the clothes a good scrub down. After several minutes, a strange itching sensation spread up her arms, growing in severity until she couldn’t stand it anymore. Temari yanked her arms out of the water and gasped.

They were covered in a red, blotchy rash.

Just then, her eyes began watering and she sneezed, loudly.

“Oh my goodness,” Temari realized. “It wasn’t the kitten at all. It was this new laundry detergent that Gaara’s allergic to!” She remembered washing Gaara’s clothes the night before in the washing machine with the new detergent right before the piece of crap gave out and she was forced to use the old wash bin and do the rest by hand. Since they were siblings and she was getting a reaction, it only made sense that Gaara was allergic to the concoction as well.

Oh, no. The cat. Temari had to stop him before he dropped the kitten off at the pound. Ignoring the burning itch of her arms, Temari dropped the wet clothes on the ground and ran out the door. She hoped she’d make it in time.

--

“Oooh, what a sweet little kitten,” the receptionist cooed, staring at the cat with eyes like a hungry wolf’s. “I’m sure we’ll be able to find it a nice cage- I mean cell- I mean room.” He smiled toothily, trying to appear nice, but only managed to look even more psychotic than before.

Gaara was having serious doubts about this place. Maybe it was a better idea to let the kitten go free in the streets so it could fend for itself and have a chance. But, no. It would undoubtedly locate him again and follow him everywhere, which would bring this whole escapade right back to where it started.

“Sorry.” Gaara looked down at the kitten sadly, who lounged in his arms cleaning its paw. He sighed and faced the man again, who still hadn’t stopped staring hungrily at the cat. “Um, do I need to sign something?”

“Oh, no, no,” the man assured. He leaned over and bushed a button. “Marsha, ready a gas- errr.” He glanced nervously at Gaara, who narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Gaaaauuest room! Yes, a guest room! No gassing whatsoever! Perfectly safe!”

“Should I take out the gas-masks, sir?” Marsha asked from the other line. A thin trail of sweat ran down the man’s forehead and settled on his cheek.

“Shut up, Marsha,” he whispered harshly into the radio, “and just DO it!” He punched the button off and turned to Gaara with that same wide, toothy grin. “Now then…” He reached out his hands, ready to take the cat.

Gaara hesitated, unsure. He slowly began making the transaction.

“No, don’t!” A distant voice shouted from behind.

“Huh?” Gaara blinked and started to turn around.

“Hand it over!” The man behind the desk reached closer, his hands inches from the cat.

“NOOOOOO!” Temari slammed open the doors to the building and came running in at top speed. Pulling an arm back and using a move that, embarrassingly enough, she’d seen Keifer Sutherland use, she flung her heavy iron fan as hard as she could. It smashed into the attendant’s face with a satisfying CRUNCH and reduced him to a twitching heap on the floor. Gaara stood frozen, eyes wide and mouth ajar, holding the kitten to his chest as Temari stood huffing and puffing before him, trying to catch her breath.

“Temari?” He asked once he found his voice again. “What are you doing here? And what happened to your arms?”

“Hold on…” Temari panted, placing a reddened hand on Gaara’s shoulder. “Let me explain…”

--

Gaara was on his way home, his heart feeling lighter than it had for a while now. The kitten had a seat of honor atop his spiky head and was enjoying it tremendously, eyes closed happily and tail swishing in the breeze. After hearing the true cause of his allergies, Gaara had been relieved to find out that the cat had no fault in it at all. Now it could stay with him at home. That is, if he could persuade Kankuro to sign a truce with it.

“Honey, we’ll get another one!” A woman’s voice suddenly cut through Gaara’s wishful thinking. He stopped and watched with curiosity.

“No, I don’t want another one!” A little girl sobbed, shaking her head in protest. “He was my best friend and now he’s gone!”

“Come on now, don’t be like this!” The mother coaxed. “We’ll find another cat for you, I promise!”

“Nooo!”

“What do you think?” Gaara asked, looking up at the kitten. It met his gaze, eyes bright with a silent ‘yes’. It hopped from his head and landed elegantly on the ground, then tottered its way over to the little girl. Purring softly, it gently rubbed against her ankle. The girl gasped in surprise and looked down, so startled she forgot the keep crying.

“Ah! What…? Oh, a kitty!” The girl squealed with glee and picked the kitten up, a huge smile on her face. She wiped her tears away and looked up at her mother. “Mom, can we keep it?”

“Sure, honey.” Her mother answered, smiling in thanks at Gaara.

Gaara gave the woman a shy smile in return. He watched the girl and mother turn and walk away, cooing over the kitten lovingly. Gaara was glad. He knew the kitten would have a good home. Sighing, he turned and started home at a slow pace.

He really needed some Ben and Jerry’s right about now.

--

“So it was the new laundry detergent?” Gaara asked, sitting next to his sister on the couch as they watched 24 together. She nodded.

“Yeah.” Temari sighed. “I should have known. Sorry about this whole mess.”

“It’s no big deal.” Gaara shook his head. “At least no-one else was affected.” Suddenly Temari stiffened in shock, her eyes widening in horror. “W…what?”

“I just remembered…” She whispered. “I washed Kankuro’s underwear with it, too.”

Gaara just sat there.

And burst out laughing.

Poor, poor Kankuro. He never got a break.

The End

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto.

Author’s Note: Siiigh… Man, for some reason I found this one really difficult to write. It took a long time because I’ve been sick, too. The only part I really liked was the evil pound receptionist. Oh, well. I’ve recently been having a bit of trouble writing these because I feel like I have to make them perfect so I don’t disappoint everyone, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it up. I’ll still try my hardest, though. Thanks for your support, everyone! Review, please!