Author's note: The little bit of dialogue "Do you miss it?" "Yes I miss it, it was the best job I ever had." got stuck in my head and refused to go away. So I decided to write a fic about it. I tried to write it from Remus' POV but it didn't work, what I really wanted to get across was Remus' mysteriousness. Well, maybe that's not the right word for it but you know what I mean. That feeling that there is so much more to him than he shows. Or maybe that's just me being strange. But anyway, I could only really get this across by writing from Tonk's POV so voila! Here is this random oneshot. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and one other thing. The bit about Neville... I really think that in that first lesson Remus defending Neville in front of Snape and really giving Neville a chance to prove his abilities would have given him so much confidence. So that was what I was referring to.

The Closed Book.

He hadn’t said a word since they left the platform. Come to think of it he hadn’t really said much while they were on the platform either. Tonks sighed. With Sirius it was easy to explain why he was upset: he didn’t make it any secret that he was going to miss his godson. But Remus was different… more mysterious in a way. And he obviously had something on his mind.

Moody and the Weasleys were walking in front, Arthur and Mad-Eye trying to convince Molly that the safest place for the children was Hogwarts and that they were all going to be fine. She, Remus and Sirius-the-dog walked behind. In silence.

She had never been too good with long silences.

“It’ll be weird not having the kids around all the time.” She said, hoping to either get Remus to say what was wrong, or at least bring him out of his reverie since Sirius could not provide conversation.

He looked at her.

“Yes… it will.” He said in his tired but patient voice.

She waited for him to say something else but he didn't seemed to be forthcoming. So she searched her brain for a new topic.

“Hopefully it will mean that Molly will be needing more people to eat her food.”

She almost stopped in her tracks. He had dropped his voice conspiratorially, so quiet that she almost missed it. She glanced over at him, unsure whether he was joking or not. He smiled, almost mischievously, and she gave an appreciative laugh. He was usually so serious that it always took her by surprise when he made jokes and yet he had been a Marauder, and so she always felt that she shouldn’t be surprised.

They reached 12 Grimmauld Place suddenly, before she could think of anything witty to say back. Mad-Eye and Arthur left almost immediately to go to work, and Molly retreated upstairs to worry herself some more. Sirius walked into the kitchen and slumped on a chair. Still watching Remus curiously, Tonks sat herself down opposite Sirius. Remus didn’t sit down.

“Coffee?” He asked, his question directed particularly at Sirius.

“Yeah.” Sirius replied. Remus looked questioningly at her.

“Yes please.” She answered. He turned away.

While he conjured up their coffee she fell to thinking about why Remus might be upset or in a mood or whatever. As far as she could remember, the full moon was not for a while yet. Her cousin she could understand, and that was not just because he was her cousin. There was definitely something more open about Sirius.

Well, she thought to herself, more open than Remus anyway.

She ran over the events on the platform. They had seen the children off, and then left. She thought harder. As they were leaving an older woman, in a vulture-topped hat, had approached Remus and talked briefly to him. Tonks had to move away for fear of laughing at the woman’s hat.

She should ask him about it. She, Sirius and Remus had all become quite close over the last month but still she felt a little awkward asking about something that could be personal.

But curiosity won her over, as usual.

“Who was that woman on the platform? The old woman you were talking to?”

Remus set the mugs of coffee down on the table, his face closed.

“Oh, that was Augusta Longbottom.”

Sirius sat up a little straighter and took a sip of his coffee.

“Relation of Frank and Alice Longbottom?” He asked.

Remus nodded sadly.

“Frank’s mother.”

“What did she want?”

Tonks felt slightly relieved that Sirius had taken over the interrogation. She wasn’t sure how far politeness would allow her to go. Remus took a long time to answer Sirius’ question. He drank some of his coffee slowly.

“She wanted to thank me actually.” He said, his face still unreadable. “She said that Neville, her grandson, told her I helped him a lot the year I taught at Hogwarts.”

Remus looked away. Sirius narrowed his eyes but said nothing; it flitted through Tonks’ mind that he was probably waiting for Remus to elaborate further without prompting. She, however, had never been the most patient person in the world and despite her misgivings about nosing into people’s personal lives she went ahead with her next question.

“Do you miss it?” She asked, her voice quiet.

He looked at her, confusion in his eyes.

“Hogwarts. Teaching.”

He shrugged.

“Do you miss Hogwarts?” He asked, turning the question around. She glared at him.

“Don’t avoid the question. You know I’m talking about teaching. You never talk about it.”

“That’s true.” Sirius added, still watching Remus with a slight frown.

Remus laughed. “What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?” He asked, drinking some more coffee.

Tonks looked at her cousin, who looked just as confused as she did. Remus looked from one to the other and sighed. He didn’t bother to explain.

There was a silence as the two cousins waited for an answer. Remus appeared not to notice, but eventually he sighed again and put his coffee mug down.

“Yes, I miss it.” He said, looking straight at Tonks. For the first time she felt him opening up to her. A little. He glanced at Sirius, and then down at his coffee. “It was the best job I ever had.” He added, so quietly it was almost to himself.

Tonks felt a pang of sympathy and anger inside her. It wasn’t fair that this man, who had lost pretty much everything, should have a chance taken away from him so cruelly. Sirius was muttering angrily under his breath. Something about torturing Snape to within an inch of his life, making him apologise and then killing him. Remus smiled and made a sound that could have been a very small laugh.

Almost as though he sensed her watching him he looked up. Their eyes met and for a second she could see all the pain in his eyes. Her breath caught in her chest but the next moment his face was as closed as it had been before.

But the memory of those eyes stayed in her mind. Sometimes she thought that is was almost as though she had seen a glimpse of his soul, at other times she thought that she had been imagining things but whatever she had or hadn’t seen, it moved her.

And she knew right then that this man, this closed book, was special.