an; …I always wondered when I would get to this point …but that all seems to long ago. Thank you to everyone for all your words of encouragement throughout the entire course of this story. Hope you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it, it’s been fun ღ.

Chapter 19: Dearly Beloved

“…Let me get this straight …” Sora tried to reason, sitting beside his tear stricken friend as she blew her nose into the same wet tissue for what seemed to be the fourth time. He crossed his arms, nodding his head off to the side and thought for a few minutes and then sighed, leaning forward on one of his feet. “She kissed you.”

Kairi nodded solemnly, making an odd squeaking noise as she rubbed at her eyes. She had shown up at his house unexpectedly, looking bedraggled and on the verge of losing it. The moment he took her into his room, she spilled everything and couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down her face.

“…But you freaked out and ran out of her house?” He held up the garbage can as Kairi deposited another tissue into pan, drawing a clean one out of the tissue box in front of her. “And now …you’re …?”

“Such a fucking idiot.” She hiccupped out, shaking her head and rubbing at her read eyes.

“Kai …” Sora tried softly shaking his head, “No …you’re not.”

“Sora!” She choked out, “I’m a fucking idiot! I freaked, I froze. I …I tried to tell her how I felt …I did tell her how I felt, but what happens when she returns my feelings? I froze! I flipped out! I …I panicked.” She stood up, running her hands through her head and started pacing the room.

“So you came here.”

“Yes! Yes I came here! I came here because I didn’t know what to do!” She grabbed the tissue in her hand, mashing it against her tear streaked eyes. “I …I feel so stupid!”

He gripped her arm gently, “Hey …none of that, alright? We’ll figure something out. I’m sure …I’m sure we can fix this somehow.”

”No, we can’t.” She sobbed out, a whole new onslaught of tears coming from her eyes, “I …I can’t. Not now, Sora …oh my God, not now.”

“Look …I’m going to make you some tea. You need to calm yourself down before you work yourself up into a panic attack. Do you …have any objections on flavor? Lemon? Chamomile?” He stood up, hand poised over his phone, entering something before turning back to Kairi.

She shook her head, “No …” Throwing the tissue out, she moved the tissue box over and fell over onto Sora’s bed. “Just get the damn tea.”

He smiled softly at her backside, and left his room to head down stairs in the kitchen. Oathkeeper came running into his room, yapping happily at Kairi, jumping on the bed and settling near her head. She pulled her arms over her head, curling up into a ball and squeezing her eyes shut. …I’m so …so …screwed …I …I can’t do this …it’s too much …

Outside the sun was setting into the horizon, coloring the sky in various shades of pink, orange and blue. She heard the vague sound of a car door slamming shut and the jingle of keys. The door bell rung out loud and clear and as did Sora’s footsteps thumping across the lower level to answer it. “She’s upstairs.” His voice traveled up from the living room through his open door. There was the rattling of a tray, followed by a, “I’ve got it, Riku!”

“Kairi, we’re back …” Sora placed the tray on his chair, just as Oathkeeper ran off the bed. She barked at the two, scurrying over to the door. Kairi sat up as Sora sat down on her left side and pushed a glass toward her. Riku closed the door behind them.

“Sora called me and said I should come over …” Riku sat down on the other side of Kairi, draping an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, “…I can see why …”

Kairi took a long sip of the tea, letting out a small sigh as she let it drop to her lap. Sora moved the box of tissues from behind them, wiping away at the tray. “You …didn’t …” She paused, “I was going to leave in a few anyway. Mom’s probably wondering what’s keeping me so long …” She looked down at Sora’s night stand to look at the time. It was nearing almost nine.

Sora made a move to jump in front of her, waving his hands. “Not in this condition you’re not, oh no.” He folded the tray up in his arms, “We have a day off tomorrow and it’s Memorial Day weekend after all …so you’re staying over here and we’re having an uber gay cheering up session. Besides, mom grilled up all this food and I need someone to help me eat it.” He added in sheepishly.

“Sora …”

“Ah, no buts.” He waved a hand. He reached for Kairi’s phone which was charging on his desk. Flipping it open, he hit the first speed dial and pressed the phone against Kairi’s ear, “It’s ringing, talk!”

Kairi sighed, waiting for the phone to pick up, “I don’t even have any clothes…”

The phone picked up and Kaia’s voice rang loud and clear on the other line, “Heeelllooo?”

“Mom?”

“Kairi, honey, what’s up? Where are you? It’s getting late …”

“Listen, I’m at Sora’s house …” She looked up at Sora who was grinning at her, giving her the thumbs up, “Um, I came over for …some dinner …but it’s getting a bit late, so I’m going to stay over …is that alright?”

“Alright, just call me when you’re coming home tomorrow, okay? And send Suri my love. Is that all?”

“Yeah …”

”Okay then, love you, talk to you later.”

”Love you too …bye.” Kairi clicked the phone shut, and sighed, “There, happy now?”

”Yup.” Sora grinned, sitting down by his friend and giving her a long and bone crushing hug, “Kairi! As your two best friends, it’s our job to make sure you’re sufficiently able to function in day to day life. I won’t have you any other way, got it?”

Kairi made a ‘hm’ sound into her cup as she took another sip when Sora released her. Riku got up from her side, kicking his shoes off by the door. “So what did your mom grill up?”

“Some hotdogs.” Sora grinned at Riku, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I like hotdogs.” Riku responded, returning the grin.

Kairi started to cough up her tea, “This is precisely whyI wasn’t going to stay, because you two can never cease your perversions.” She sputtered, wiping the back her mouth off with her hand.

Sora made a move to hand her a tissue, grinning. “…Just trying to get you to smile, Kai …” He gave her a long hard kiss on the cheek, “Come on, let’s get you fat and plumped up …and we can talk all about your girl problems over enormous amounts of unhealthy food.” He pulled Kairi to her feet and began pushing her out of his room as Riku closed the door behind the three of them.

o—o

I couldn’t sleep that night even after that tea that Sora made me knocked me right out within an hour after consuming it. I kept waking up throughout the night, my mind racing with so many thoughts.

Why had I run? Why didn’t I say anything? Why was I acting this way? What the hell was wrong with me? What had even struck me as stranger was that I finally realized that I had kissed Yuffie back when we were little kids. I was beginning to wonder how I could have forgotten her in the first place.

Yes, I was young …but still…

I didn’t understand.

o—o

Kairi sighed as she walked into school that Tuesday morning, eyes focused on the ground, arms hanging idly by her sides. She brushed past people, navigating her way effortlessly to her first period class without even glancing in the direction she was going.

She waved half heartedly to Zexion before resuming her seat and dropping her bag to the floor. The bell rung shortly and she looked up briefly to see Yuffie enter the class room. Yuffie met her gaze for two seconds, was about to open her mouth to say something, but closed it. She looked away, taking her seat in front of Kairi.

I knew it …

The rest of the day, Kairi found herself wandering from class to class, not much focused on anything. After school, as they sat in the cafeteria after school had finished, Sora was on her tail, hounding her for what had happened between her and Yuffie that morning, or if either of them had said anything to remedy what had happened on that Sunday afternoon.

“So …did she say anything?”

“No.” Kairi replied, sipping at her grape soda.

“Did you say anything?”

“No.”

“Kairi!” Sora whined, slamming his palms down on the lunch table. He leaned over, wiggling a finger at her, “How do you expect you guys to move forward if neither of you is willing to fix this situation?”

Kairi looked at him, glaring, “…Willing, Sora?” She seethed, gripping the can a bit to hard in her right hand, “The only thing I’m willing to do is admit that I’m scared out of my fucking mind right now, okay? That’s what I’m willing to admit! That I’m going fucking crazy over everything that’s going on right now!”

“Kai--- …Calm ---“ Sora started, when Kairi slammed her fist down on the table.

“No! I’m not going to calm down! Stop trying to fix this situation, Sora! It doesn’t concern you!” She stood up, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.” She gathered up her bag, slipping it over her shoulder and folding her books into the crook of her arm.

“Sheesh …” Sora leaned back in his chair as Kairi stomped her way past the table and over to the doors leading out of the room.

She stalked by Riku who was walking into the cafeteria. He waved out to her, “Hey, Kai …where—“

“I’m leaving.” She snapped, throwing her can out by the garbage.

“Ookkkayy …” Riku replied as Kairi pushed her way through the doors leading out of the cafeteria. He walked over to Sora, easing into a chair across from him, “Is she …PMSing or … was that about Yuffie?”

“Yuffie.” Sora sighed, “I …just asked her if she was willing to you know …talk to Yuffie or whatever and she just spazzed out on me.”

“We can’t really do anything as much as I hate to say it …this is between her and Yuffie …she’ll have to deal with it on her own terms.”

“I know …but I hate to see her hurting like this …”

“You and me both …you and me both, Sora.”

o—o

And so by the end of May to the first week of June, that was how my relationship with Yuffie went. We didn’t speak, we rarely looked at each other and the whole thing had grown so awkward, I found myself reevaluating why was happening between us in the first place.

In June, everything was culminating into one big giant mound.

The stress of school was over bearing, as I found myself up late into the night trying to finish everything I needed to do for the next day. My unresolved issues with Yuffie were always nagging on the back of my mind.

I was never any good with dealing with stress and even after I tried to center myself and try to get over it, so many thoughts were racing through my head. What if she never wanted to see me again after what had happened between us? What I did? Would she take me back? Would she want to …to have something special with me?

My mood swings only got more violent as time went on and I was taking it out on everyone around me. They say repressing your emotions is one of the unhealthiest things that you can do, but look at me.

Every night I went to bed crying, only to wake up and look miserable the next day. Sora and Riku were becoming increasingly worried about me; I was holing up, and keeping everything inside. It finally got to the point where in the middle of the week before finals started, I snapped.

I woke up one morning …just unable to move, staring at the ceiling, my vision never wavering. My mother took me to the doctor and he concluded I was under a lot of stress and the best thing for me to do was to stay home from school until finals actually started.

I got a visit from Sora and Riku the weekend before finals started. They had brought over all of the material that I needed for the exams that week. …Even if I had been particularly shitty to them in the past few weeks …those two were always there to back me up or help me out.

o—o

“Kairi?” The auburn haired girl was propped up on her pillows, legs drawn up to her chin. She looked up to see Sora and Riku standing by her door. Sora was holding a tray in his arms and Riku had a large bag hooked around his right hand. He moved forward, depositing the tray on her bed, “Your mom sent it up for you.”

“When did you get here?” Kairi asked, muting the volume on the television.

“A few minutes ago,” Sora replied, sitting down on the bed, “We came to come drop off some books for you.”

“Oh …thanks…” She looked up at Sora, then to Riku who took a seat over on her desk chair, spinning it around to look at her.

“How’ve you been?”

“…Better.” She answered.

“Is that supposed to be sarcasm?” Sora asked, raising his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes, “I’m fine …just a little overworked. I’ll be okay to take my finals, don’t worry.”

“Just making sure …you know …we want to make sure you’re okay. You know, because you’ve been under a lot stress lately …and we …you know, care about you and stuff. You’re our Kai-bear and stuff, and …yeah.”

“Sorry, you’re horribly unarticulated with words.” Riku interjected, “What the goofball is trying to say is that we were worried about you so we came to visit you for a little while.”

“Thanks you two …” Kairi took a sip at the tea that was resting on the tray that Sora had brought in.

“So …” Sora began, “Kairi …”The door bell rung before Sora could finish what he was about to say. He looked at Kairi who shook her head and shrugged.

“I wasn’t expecting anyone …and it couldn’t be my mother, she has her keys, doesn’t she?” She got out of bed, straightening herself out as she went to go unlock the front door. The minute she saw who was on the other side, she stilled herself and took a deep breath. “Yuffie …what are you doing here?”

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything …but …uh,” She cleared her throat, “I won’t be long, but I …um …I think I left my English book here a couple of weeks back. I can’t find it for the life of me and I was wondering if …you know it was here or whatever.”

“I …think I might have it actually. Is –“ Kairi paused, when Sora called her name from up top of the stairs.

“Kairi!” Sora called from up top the stairs, pushing Riku down at maximum speed. They rushed by her, Sora steering Riku. She blinked, looking from Sora to Riku and then at Yuffie who was still standing outside in the hallway. “We have to go! Something came up!” Sora looked at Riku and elbowed him to move out of the house.

“Ow, stop pushing, Sora!”

“Come on, Riku …we have to get going, don’t we?”

”To where?”

“You know …that place.” He turned around to mouth, “Call me!” and grinned as Kairi shut the door behind the two of them.

Those two …are so stupid sometimes …“I’ll get you that book now …” Kairi moved to head back up to her room.

”Sounds good …I’ll wait right here.” Yuffie replied, sitting down on the couch and fiddling with her nails.

Kairi returned to her room picking up a black and white star covered text book off of her night stand. She returned, heading down the stairs and walking over to where Yuffie was seated in the living room. Upon seeing her, Kairi lingered for a minute. She’s in the house …this could be your last chance …don’t let her go like this, Kairi. Come on … “Here’s your book. It was on my night stand, you were right …”

“Thanks …” Yuffie turned it over, pressing the book against her chest. She was silent, before looking back up at Kairi and shrugged, “Well …I guess I’ll see you around..."

She was about to turn toward the door, when Kairi held out a hand to stop her. Wait …”

Yuffie paused, turning around to look at Kairi, “What?”

“Come here …” Kairi replied, “I …we have to talk.”

“I knew you were going to say it …sooner or later.”

Kairi motioned for Yuffie to follow her up to her room. She shut the door behind them as Yuffie sat down on her bed, Kairi sitting down opposite her on the pillows. She pushed the tray aside to make room for them and reclined into her pillows, looking up at Yuffie who had shoved her textbook off to the side. Yuffie crossed her legs in front of her, looking up at Kairi, her brown eyes drawn. “…How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been better …”

“Mmm …” Yuffie picked at the faded silver nail polish on her stubby nails. “It feels like forever since I last talked to you.”

“It does …” Kairi replied. They were silent for sometime before Kairi broke the silence, “I’ve missed you.”

“I know …”

“I …Yuffie …”

Yuffie looked up at her, a questionable look in her eyes. “Yes?”

“…I’m sorry.” Kairi began, “I’m so sorry for …for running away. I freaked out ...and ...Yuffie, I do like you. I really do. And ...I want us to become something more than what we have right now ...right here ... it's just that ...I'm afraid. ...I'm so afraid ... I've never felt something like this before and it just ...it scares me."

Yuffie was hesitant before responding, “Can I tell you something, Kairi?”

Kairi felt her heart beat increase ten fold and tried to swallow down her fear as Yuffie began talking. She nodded, folding her hands in her lap and loosening her posture as she sunk further into her pillows, "Sure."

“I don’t know how I should start this …but here we go. Do you remember the first day of English class?” She started, still picking at the polish, “How Zexion paired us up with everyone for partners?”

Kairi nodded, picking at a stray piece of thread on her comforter.

“I turned around to get my first real good look at you because you reminded me so much of this girl I used to know to know in preschool. The same girl I shared my first … kiss with. I began to realize …that you were the same Kairi from preschool. I don’t know about you, but I don’t know too many girls named Kairi who have the same hair color as you.” She laughed, reclining on the bed, “I knew you didn’t remember me though. It was so long ago, and memory erodes with time, you know? I mean …you ended up moving away from Destiny Island’s back then and I had no idea what happened to you. When we started high school though …I would always see you from a distance with Sora and Riku and I always had a gut feeling that you were the same ‘Kai-chan’ I knew from when I was little.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me from the beginning?” Kairi asked, eyebrows creasing inwardly.

“I wasn’t just about to go up to you and go, ‘Hey Kairi, remember me, Yuffie? I kissed you back when I was a little kid.’ …I was apprehensive about starting anything up with you at first; it probably had something to do with our past or something. I don’t know, I’m weird.”

“I am too.”

“Yeah …well …” Yuffie cleared her throat, “Like I was saying, I saw it as an opportunity to …maybe resurrect some of our friendship from when we were kids, I didn’t really expect it to come to where it was now. But as you know Rikku …well, she did what she did and I think that was just a stroke of luck on my part to develop our relationship. In the back of my mind there was always a thought that maybe we could you know …be more than friends, yet I always wondered if you would return the feeling. ...Look at where we ended up though ...”

”You have no idea …” Kairi breathed.

“Hm?”

“Well …” She shuffled, drawing a pillow into her arms. “…I’ve been always confused about my sexual orientation. I had a nothing short of a …terrible love life. With lack of boyfriends to drunken make out sessions with random girls …I won’t knock it though; Leblanc knows how to do some …thingswith that tongue of hers.”

“Woah, hold up and rewind, you kissed, Leblanc?” Yuffie asked, eyes growing wide.

“She’s …something of a …slut, isn’t she?” Kairi added in.

“Even kissed the same …” Yuffie sighed, shaking her head. “Continue …”

“Well …” Kairi held a hand poised under her nose in an attempt to stop herself from blushing. “I’m not entirely sure where I stand now either …I just know that …well …I like you.”

“…You’re cute when you blush.”

“Shut up.”

Yuffie grinned, pulling herself up along side Kairi, “So ...where do we go from here? Do we fix what we messed up? Or do we go on ...you know being more than just friends?."

Kairi smirked, “Girlfriends?”

“Well, yeah ..." Yuffie responded, "I mean ...if you'd like to take things slow, I can understand. ...You know, go on a couple of dates before we actually get to serious with things but--"

“You know, Yuffie ...you talk too much.” Kairi leaned across the space between them, “Entirely too much.”

“Oh, really?” Yuffie asked grinning.

Kairi took that as an invitation to lean in and catch her off guard with a kiss.

o—o

Yuffie spent the night. We spent the entire night talking about absolutely nothing and giggling like two love sick fools. ...We were though. I woke up early the next morning surprisingly refreshed, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. My memory lapsed almost suddenly until I looked at the person whom I was sharing my bed with. Yuffie was curled up next to me, her hand wrapped around the end of my shirt, snoring softly, thick black eye lashes pressed against her porcelain skin.

I sat still looking at her for a long time just watching her exhale and inhale, mumble nonsensical things under her breath and stay completely oblivious to the world around her. The sun was just rising, a fire red hue peaking out from behind a rainbow hued horizon. That’s when inspiration struck me.

I had a year long project to do for my Intro to Photography class. It could be on anything, we wanted but it had to be done before finals week kicked around in the middle of June. I had long thought of doing a concept that concerned the seasons, but it wasn’t until I saw the rising summer sun did I enact upon it. At this present moment, Yuffie had been my inspiration.

I carefully unfurled her hand from around my shirt and eased off the bed to get my camera from off of my desk. Kneeling down by my bed, I captured the picture I needed at an almost too impossible angle the involved me extending one foot off the ground, as I tried to gain leverage with my other foot planted at an excoriating height on my desk.

Curse my barely 5 foot shortness.

When the camera went off, Yuffie woke up slowly, blinking at me blearily. That’s when I captured my money shot. She asked me what I was doing, confused about what was going on. I crawled back onto the bed waving my camera and told her she was now the subject of my photography project. She called me crazy, and went back to sleep, pulling the sheets above her head.

When she finally did wake up, I was getting out of the shower and she appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at me. Okay, so my girlfriend was a little sex charged, I could deal with that.

I got to talking to her about my project and she got a little flustered when I told her I had decided to choose her as my subject and showed her the pictures I had taken of her that very morning. She even got more embarrassed when I told her that I was doing to use them for my project, to which she vehemently protested too. I told her she looked cute so it didn’t matter and at that moment she made a rather strange noise and told me to tell shut up.

…And I thought I was the spaz here.

Thankfully my mom was gone when we woke up. She left a note.

We had the entire house to ourselves.

I cooked the both of us something to eat, which was interrupted by a little pre-breakfast making out session, which soon ended when I realized that the toast I had put in the toaster had recently caught on fire. It was a rather …delightful way to start the morning.

Not that I minded.

We spent the entire day doing nothing but watching TV, talking and when we weren’t watching TV or talking we were …well, making out. I don’t think I can complain anymore when I see Riku and Sora sucking face in front of me anymore, because I’m pretty sure soon I’ll have the both of them beat in that category.

When Yuffie did leave, she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and told me she’d see me tomorrow and school. The first thing I did was call up Sora (who happened to be with Riku, no surprise there) and stated very calmly that I now had a girlfriend. Sora then proceeded to scream his head off and run to tell the whole entire planet the news.

…On Monday morning, I was greeted by the little “oooooooooh’s” from Sora and Riku’s sly looks when I walked into school with my arm linked around Yuffie but I ignored it as I usually do with them.

God they could be so stupid sometimes.

We entered final weeks in relative non-excitement and I did fairly well on all my exams. Sora even passed his Physics exam, something he had been dreading all year, with a little extra help from me. I composed my photography project after a long time and when Yuffie saw the final product she told me she was sure I was going to ace it.

I had used a picture taken of her from her birthday back in November, and then the next picture was of us in the photo booth from back in February, the next picture was of the two of us at the amusement park for Riku’s birthday and lastly it was the picture I had taken of her while she was still sleeping in my bed. I named it, “Shades of Different Seasons.” …I thought of it as something reflective of our relationship during that year.

And she was right …I did ace it.

During late June, Riku graduated and we celebrated …me, Riku, Sora …Yuffie.

Sure, once again I got the cat calls from Riku and the sly looks from Sora but I knew the two meant well. They were happy that I had finally found someone and I proved to them that I wasn’t as asexual as they thought after all. I snuck a few kisses in with Yuffie, pulling her off to the side by the end of the night under the guise of, “Oh yeah, we have to use the ladies room.”

And so …that was it. Junior year had ended and in a few short months, my senior year would be upon me. I was ready to face it with whatever the next year had in store.

I went from being Ms. Uptight A Honor Student who was so convinced she was straight to …well, who I am today. Your friendly neighborhood bisexual spaz queen. …Okay, so maybe a little bit of that is true …but I …I’m still learning who I am …but I’m not afraid anymore.

So let me take this time to formally reintroduce myself.

My name is Kairi Tairin Ifans. I’m the sixteen year old daughter of popular fashion designer and CEO of K.I. industries, Kaia Ignatova, My two best friends in the whole world are Sora Alden and Riku Haswell. I’m an honor student, editor of my school news paper and participate in student government.

My girlfriend is Yuffie Kisaragi, the star runner of Twilight Town West’s girl’s track team. We’re polar opposites, with her being the popular athletic extrovert that everyone loves and be being the quiet, shy introverted book worm.

…And a weirdo.

Can’t forget that. I’m a weirdo.

But you know what …?

We’re all a little bit weird inside.

It’s what keeps us sane.

The End

“I don’t like girls, I never have, I never will.”