It's never been parodied before... I think/hope... you know what I'm talking about... or do you?

Disclaimer: I don't own everything, just a little.

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Not An Other Angst/ Torture Fic!

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Link and Zelda were quietly eating at the table.

“Could you please pass the-” Link began,

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU! HOW CAN YOU DO THAT! I HATE YOU SO MUCH ITS A LOT!” Zelda screamed at his words, the words cowered under the table where Link fed it some table scraps. Sadly the scraps weren’t food and the words died.

Zelda walked off, offended by Link, and then fell out a window.

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Samus, feeling angsty, threw Roy down and walked over him, then threw him in front of her and repeated this everywhere she went so she would only walk on him.

Though this stopped when she walked into the food pantry and had a panic attack from not being able to get out and blasted everything while screaming in terror, Roy had a fart attack though and the two passed out from the methane.

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Link put on his suit made of cats, stuck together by honey, to impress Zelda, when bees swarmed over him.

“So what are you up to?” Pit asked.

Link screamed in horror.

“I said what are you doing?” Pit asked again.

Link rolled around screaming as the constant flood of bees kept covering him while cats scratched.

“Fine! Be that way!” Pit yelled and walked off.

Pit came back, “Get it; BEE that way?” Pit laughed.

A rush of bears came in and covered Link some more until it just looked like a pile of random, rabid animals.

Pit stomped off angrily as Link ignored him.

Fox came up and ate the pile, then noticed Link was under it, “So what were you doing under that?”

“I was trying to impress Zelda because she hates me now after I asked her to pass some-” Link started.

“Oh, then in that case…” Fox said and barfed out the animals on Link.

Link started screaming again.

Luckily, or to be more angsty, unluckily, the stomach acid melted the animals off Link.

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Samus and Roy awoke; Samus pulled Roy up and started force-feeding him whole cans of peas since she was bored.

“What- (gulp) are you- (gulp) at least let me- (gulp) say- (gulp) SOMETHING- (gulp)!” Roy tried saying as he was forced to swallow cans of vegetables.

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“I’m bored, want to do something weird for no reason?” Ness asked Yoshi.

“Kay.” Yoshi replied; they exited the room.

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Falco awoke at the bottom of the pool, tied to a chair, the pool had been dyed pink for no reason, Ness and Yoshi swam down to him, Yoshi proceeded to force-feed him earth falcons wrapped in lettuce while Ness ate ice cream and cookie dough in front of him, trying to really enjoy it.

Then Ness drowned, though he had a heart attack before he drowned, though he didn’t die from it so he did drown, actually he didn’t die from that either.

Falco then wondered why he didn’t have to breathe; he then found a zipper on his back and pulled off the suit to reveal he was actually a giant squid all along.

Falco ate the two and crawled out of the pool, he opened his beak and fire came out of it, launching him into the sky.

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“HOW DOES IT FEEL THE OTHER WAY AROUND HUH?” Link screamed, shoving Young Link into the attic, hording with spiders on the walls, floor, and ceiling at least two feet deep, “Now to Zelda…”

Link went with a tux made of pit bulls nailed together, but started screaming when the dogs tried biting him and fell down the garbage disposal.

Zelda walked by, then backed up when she noticed Link.

“Could you get me out? I can’t move and the dog-suit is starting to itch and bite!” Link called.

“Never, since you asked me to pass some…” Zelda broke out crying, but failed and broke out in hives, then turned on the disposal and for some reason Link was turned to white, tan, and green goo.

Link's goo then possessed a Link toy, the pit bulls did the same with conveniently placed pit bull toys.

Young Link came out, stuffing the last of the spiders into his mouth, Zelda came up and made out with him, just so she might be able to get some spiders from him.

This was ok as the spiders were made of cheesecake. Creepy living cheesecake…

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Pit walked along happily when a monkey picked him up and used him as a hat and ran off, screeching rabidly as the angel screamed.

Fox walked out of the mansion, when suddenly, the monkey grabbed him and used him as a hat on Pit, then ran into the house, ripping things up in a frenzy of terror.

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Marth saw the pit bull toys as Link ran passed him, Marth picked them up and played with them, “YAY!” they attacked him and Marth ran off screaming as they latched onto him, he then dramatically jumped through a closed window.

Link sighed in relief, then saw Zelda.

“Hey Zelda!” Link yelled, the princess turned and picked him up.

“I guess I still have to punish you again since you won’t leave me alone.” Zelda sighed and played with him, making him ride a toy horse as he screamed and tried escaping.

“WHEEEEE!” Zelda laughed as she made him use a stick of rock candy as a sword, pretend-fighting with Pichu.

Pichu went too far and shocked Link; he then broke free of Zelda’s grasp and chased Pichu, beating him with the candy.

The swordsman came back, “As I was going to say…”

Zelda picked him up and pretended he was kissing a Peach doll, by smacking the two toys together, “Oh now you’re cheating on me with Peach?” she scoffed.

Zelda dunked his head in searing hot cheese dip and sucked it off.

“That would have been sexy, if I wasn’t a stupid toy!” Link said angrily.

Zelda then tried biting his head off in anger, but just ended up getting deep gnaw marks all over his neck.

“Ha I cannot die- WAH!” Link screamed as he was thrown at a wall.

Link un-possessed the action figure and turned to normal, “What are you going to do- WAH!” Link cried as Zelda picked him up and played with him again, even though he wasn’t a toy anymore.

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Samus stopped as she had force-fed Roy everything in the pantry including the shelves, doors, and part of the wall, including some pipes in it.

The monkey ran up to them and stared, Samus blasted it to dust, “You have done you’re mission lowly minion.” She said to the ashes, they didn’t respond, so to let off her anger, she grabbed Fox when the other two escaped, and fed him the wall and pipes as he tried breaking free of her grasp.

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Later, Link and Zelda were on the sofa, Link leaned in to kiss.

“So, what were you going to say?” Zelda spoke softly.

“I was going to say if you would pass some… GAS! Get it?” Link laughed, falling back from his leaning position.

“That’s what you were going to say?” Zelda cried, mad.

As Link laughed uncontrollably, Zelda picked him up again and stuffed him in a lava lamp.

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“Here comes the train into the tunnel!” Samus cooed, shoving down a large chunk of sheet rock with some pipe still on it, into Fox’s mouth, then right after, shoved the whole pantry into his mouth.

As Fox tried swallowing it, Samus threw him out a window, Samus looked at the shattered window, then the wall, then the window, then wall, then took a chunk and tentatively brought it to her mouth, eating it, “YUM!” she exclaimed and began eating away at the wall.

Fox got up, getting off of Marth, who was prying the toys off of him.

“Did you notice how Samus is acting insane-” Fox began, but was force fed the toys, then Marth force fed himself to Fox.

Then Falco landed on the mansion, exploding it.

A screaming lava lamp landed on the ground, Link crawled out as he saw the explosion fade away.

Fox ran up to Link to say something, Link saw him and started force-feeding him debris from the mansion, but ran off screaming as Ganondorf’s ghost possessed dozens of school buses, driving the army at Link for revenge.

Link jumped over a fire hydrant a dog was peeing on, the buses all conveniently crashed into it and exploded in a gigantic fireball.

“That was so awesome…” Link said in sorrow and walked off down the street, the dog followed him, Link kept nervously looking back and picking up the pace as the dog walked faster and ended up running hysterically for his life as the dog chased him.

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I finally made a one-shot.

REVIEW.