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Wonderwall
CharliesHoodie
A/N: Needless to say after the finale I’ve been scarred for the remainder of my life. I was at peace with it for a while until I woke up at three in the morning after the finale and sobbed in my pillow and then started writing this until I couldn’t keep my eyes open and eventually fell asleep at five. So, that was lovely.
And Charlie still continues to live on in Fanfiction. Hooray! This wouldn’t be a Hannah Fanfiction unless Charlie lived, so no worries on that.
Major Characters: Charlie, Desmond, Claire, Aaron.
Minor Characters: Jack, Sawyer, Hurley, Kate, Alex, Mikhail.
Setting: Right after Charlie closes the control room door in 'Through the Looking Glass.'
It beat out everything else he had accomplished. Kicking his addiction, saving that woman on the street…even killing Ethan for Claire.
Closing that door turned out to be more like opening one – opening a new door into a new life. A life where he didn’t matter – she did. And honestly, he was ready to let it all go right then and there. Right in that room, no matter how much Desmond begged and pleaded him on the other side of that glass. This was his choice. This was his fate.
Desmond’s life, yet again, flashed before his eyes when he saw Charlie close that door. It was almost like he was in there with him – or maybe like he SHOULD have been. But there he was, Charlie, one of his only true friends on the island…dying right in front of him.
“Charlie!” Desmond screamed at him through the glass, knowing that he couldn’t hear him. But The Looking Glass could flood now – Desmond didn’t care. He wanted Charlie out of there. He beat on the window with a fire extinguisher that was right next to the door. But the glass was thick – nothing but an explosive could make it budge.
Desmond now saw several more flashes, but none that he could piece together in the state he was currently in. He stepped back from the door, blinking rapidly as literally hundreds of images and situations came to him. Almost as if the situation Charlie was in right now triggered something – set them off. Like the hands on a broken clock, spinning out of control.
Hot tears rolled down his face as he saw Charlie cross himself. A true man of faith. Desmond thought of his own Catholic past and got slight goose bums on his arms and legs. He began to shake slightly in fear and in remorse. How was he going to live this down? How the hell was he going to carry on with his life after this? After watching Charlie Pace die?
“Charlie!” Desmond choked out again at the lifeless body floating in the flooded room.
No use. He was no help. He had killed him – sent him to his death. Left him alone in that room. Hadn’t been there to pull him out – to save him again.
Everything went silent in The Looking Glass. There were no signs of life. Bonnie had slipped away sometime in the last few minutes. Her mouth was hanging open slightly and her eyes were half shut. Greta also. Dead. And Mikhail? There was no way he could’ve survived blowing through the windows inside the control room. But then again, he had survived a lot of things.
But, then again, so had Charlie.
Desmond paced anxiously around the entrance to the control room. He tugged at the door, angrily hit the glass, screamed at Charlie’s limp body. Nothing was going to help. Desmond was surrounded by death. He wanted that same fate too. This wasn’t the first time he had wanted to die.
There was suddenly a slight splash in the moonpool behind him and Desmond jerked around, grabbing the gun in his belt and pulling it out. In front of him stood Mikhail, soaked in full scuba gear with a slight smirk on his face.
“Is he dead yet?” Mikhail questioned, nodding over at the closed door with a smile.
Desmond cocked and pointed the gun at Mikhail’s face. His finger twitched slightly against the trigger but he didn’t have the nerve to shoot just yet. He almost wanted Mikhail to just kill him and save him from the guilt he knew he would later face.
“You’re not going to do that, are you Desmond?” Mikhail said knowingly. “You’ve already seen too much death today, haven’t you? Enough to make you want to die? Is that right?” It was then that Desmond first noticed a small explosive in Mikhail’s hand. It wasn’t as destructive as the one he had used against Charlie – it was probably enough to mortally wound anyone too close to it…or anyone holding it.
Desmond was always one for second thoughts. He was always changing his mind at the last minute and always allowed himself a lot of time to think before following though. But this was different. This was for Charlie.
So without even thinking of the consequences like Mikhail expected him to, Desmond shot the explosive in Mikhail’s hand.
Mikhail was lost in a sudden rage of fire and force. He was slammed against the back wall of the hatch, his entire lower body slightly blackened and his hand completely missing. But yet he was still alive.
Desmond was about to finish the job when he realized there was definitely still time. He quickly pocketed the gun and ripped the scuba mask and tank off of Mikhail who was now fully screaming out in pain. Mikhail weakly grabbed Desmond’s upper arm and jerked him down near him. Desmond pulled away violently and pointed the gun back at him.
“Why don’t you just do it?” Mikhail choked, still managing a content smirk. “This is it, anyway – I’m going to die.”
“Because I want you to stay here. And think,” Desmond said, putting the gun up as he put on some of the scuba gear.
Mikhail actually looked panicked for the first time; at least that Desmond was aware of. “You’re just going to leave me here? To bleed to death?” he asked, shocked. “Just swim back up to be with your people?” He paused. “Leave the body of your friend in that room?” He grinned slightly, but it was more forced now. Mikhail was actually afraid.
“I’m not using the gear to swim back up,” Desmond said pointedly. He glanced at the room again and his heart sunk. Maybe going in there was pointless. But he wasn’t about to let Mikhail know he was doubting himself.
With a quick glance at Mikhail, Desmond dove into the moonpool. He swam back up the side of The Looking Glass, trying to find the shattered window. Once he found it, his body tensed up. He felt as if he couldn’t go through with it now. He was probably just setting himself up for disappointment. But he had already gone too far – he had to at least bring back a body. That was the least he could do for Charlie’s friends.
Desmond swam through the window into the control room. Charlie was floating near the ceiling, his arms and legs limp and his face facing the ground. Desmond pulled his body down through the water and shoved him through the window before swimming out himself and regaining a grip on Charlie. He then quickly swam back up through the moonpool, pulling Charlie up on the hard floor and pushing himself out as he pulled off the scuba gear.
Mikhail observed from where he was propped up against the wall. “You got him out of there?” he snorted. “What’s the point in that? He’s dead. He drow-“
“Shut up!” Desmond demanded, taking a few deep breaths himself before performing CPR on his friend. He pulled away after a few moments, exhausted from the swimming and now using his own breath. He bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes, collecting his thoughts. Letting this happen, letting Charlie die, showed that you couldn’t escape your own fate. That was the more philosophical approach to the situation. But that wasn’t what angered Desmond. What angered Desmond was that letting Charlie die not only gave in to what Mikhail wanted, but also what the flashes that had tormented Desmond for the past several weeks wanted. He wanted nothing more than to contradict those flashes and to see Charlie alive and Mikhail dead.
“What’s the point?” Mikhail taunted again, weakly. “He was in there for several minutes. You can’t possibly thin-“
Charlie suddenly sputtered, water erupting from his mouth, catching both Desmond and Mikhail off guard. Desmond urgently set Charlie’s head up so he wouldn’t choke on the water.
“Jack?” Charlie coughed. His eyes were still tightly shut against the stinging salt water. “Claire and…Ethan. He took her, and she…” Charlie shuddered slightly and stopped talking.
“Charlie, you’ve got to stay with me,” Desmond demanded urgently.
“Oh, God…” Charlie whimpered, his eyes still tightly shut. “Des? That’s you?”
Desmond nodded. “Yeah, Charlie. It’s me. You’re going to be ok now – can you open your eyes?”
Charlie’s face crumbled slightly and he weakly opened his eyes that were crusted with salt. The first thing he noticed was his blurry, weak vision. Then the pain in his head and soon all over his body.
“Bloody hell, Desmond,” Charlie choked out as his vision cleared and he saw Desmond staring down at him, concern lining his face. “What’d you do? Why?!”
“I bloody saved your life again!” Desmond exclaimed.
Charlie sat up, now fully conscious but his face and body still a ghostly white. “But the helicopters – and Claire. You bastard! You ruined it! They’re not going to come now!”
“You hit the switch!” Desmond countered. “You fixed it, unblocked the signal! Why the hell did you close the door when you could’ve closed it on the other side once you got out?!”
“Because you told me I had to drown for it to all happen! Now it won’t!” Charlie frantically looked at the flooded control room through the glass. “Oh my God,” he said quietly. “I was in there?”
Desmond nodded slightly. “Charlie, you didn’t have to drown. You would’ve thought about saving yourself if I hadn’t bloody told you what I saw – you wouldn’t have thought that you had to sacrifice yourself for it to play out. This is my fault. You unblocked the signal. Rescue’s coming and you’re alive – simple as that. I’m sorry I didn’t think this through, Charlie.”
Charlie shook his head angrily. “You said I had to die for them to come – I was willing to do it! I was bloody fine!”
Desmond glared at him slightly and stood up, leaving him soaking wet on the floor.
“This is exactly like when Naomi came!” Charlie spat. “And you saved me from that arrow! Why don’t you just let me die so things can play out like they need to?! You’re a coward! You’re messing up with what’s supposed to happen, Des!”
“You’re welcome, Charlie,” Desmond glowered. “It’s the least I could do, honestly.”
Charlie shook his head, distraught. “You should’ve let me die. Now we’re never going to get off of here until your next flash. Then you have to let me.”
“You should really stop thanking me for saving your life. It’s starting to get a little overwhelming,” Desmond said sarcastically. He paused when he looked down and saw Charlie’s hurt, scared face. “You unblocked the signal,” he sighed. “You’re getting us all out of here. And you’re alive. What more do you want? Obviously you didn’t have to die for this to work.”
“You don’t know that…” Charlie said quietly. “Something could go wrong now.”
“What is going to go wrong?” Desmond countered. “The signal’s unblocked! It doesn’t matter WHO is going to rescue us now! We still can get a signal out!”
Charlie shook his head, tears running down his cheeks and burning his already stinging cuts. Desmond knelt down in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder.
“Charlie? Don’t you understand? I was wrong. My flashes showed that if you lived the signal wouldn’t be unblocked. But look! You’re alive, and the signal’s fine!”
“Regardless,” Charlie said, choking back tears. He didn’t like Desmond to see him this weak. What was Desmond, like, ten years older than him? He felt like a child. “You still saw that happening for a reason.”
“Because I was supposed to save you from it,” Desmond ventured. “I was supposed to save you to make it work.”
Charlie’s head hurt already, and Desmond wasn’t making things better. He shook his head slightly and lied back down, weakly. Desmond put his hand on his friend’s shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it. This is what’s supposed to happen. I’m certain of it.”
“Where have I heard that one before? Oh, that’s right, when you were going to let me die by that arrow. That was supposed to happen too, ‘aye?’” Charlie said, emphasizing ‘aye’ as if to mock Desmond. But the truth was Charlie didn’t feel like arguing about it.
The only thing that had previously kept him talking and his body going was the adrenaline from just being alive. Now it had worn off and he felt hazy and light, like he didn’t even have a body to begin with. “Should’ve just let it happen, Des,” Charlie rambled off, closing his eyes.
“Did he die? It’s about time, really.”
Desmond’s eyes shot up from Charlie to Mikhail. He had completely forgotten about him. He was still leaning against the wall, one of his hands blown off and his lower body still bleeding profusely and very charred.
Charlie’s eyes shot back open and he sat up weakly. A terrified look erupted on his face when he saw Mikhail, remembering his content, murderous face when he saw him through the window in the control room. His grin, his little wave at Charlie before he tried to kill him…it all came back. And yet Mikhail was still alive.
In a usual situation, Charlie would take no time in killing the bastard. But this definitely wasn’t a usual situation. Charlie was still frightened of him – afraid to look him in the eye. Mikhail just sat there, grinning, even in the midst of dying.
Desmond stood up and pulled Charlie to his feet after him. Charlie stumbled slightly as he tried to find his balance. He hadn’t stood since he almost drowned, and he still felt as if he were floating. Desmond walked over to the shelf he had put the gun on before he had swum down through the moonpool. He picked it up and handed it to Charlie.
Charlie’s eyes widened slightly and he looked from the gun to Mikhail. “You want me to…?”
Desmond nodded.
Charlie shook his head, trying to hand the gun back to Desmond. “I’m not killing anyone,” he said, looking at Mikhail pointedly. “That’s just bringing me down to his level. You want him dead, you do it.”
Desmond made no gesture to take the gun. “Charlie, he tried to kill you. He almost did. He’s one of them. His people took Claire. Hanged you. Took Jack, Kate and Sawyer. And now one of them just tried to murder you in cold blood. You have to kill him.”
Charlie looked at Mikhail and bit his lip. Desmond had a point. It would feel good to shoot him right now and watch him die. But he had only killed once before, and when he did that he had been in a blind rage and hadn’t really thought it through. Now he was in a situation where someone had handed him a gun and ASKED him to kill another living person after giving out all the points on why he should.
“Do it,” Desmond egged him on. “Think of what he’s done – what his people have done. He deserves this.”
Charlie made no move to shoot him.
“Just what I thought,” Mikhail said, coughing up blood as he spoke. “You people – all of you – are cowards. Especially you, Charlie. Remember what happened after you killed Ethan? You couldn’t even go on living normally after that, could you? All that guilt of killing another person, even after what he did to you. You don’t want to go through all that again.”
Mikhail’s voice was strained but Charlie still heard every hurtful word. Before he could realize what he was doing, he rose up his gun and pulled the trigger, shooting Mikhail in the chest, opposite his heart.
Mikhail didn’t scream. He simply cringed and closed his eyes tightly, grunting slightly in pain. He opened his eyes again and glared at Charlie.
Charlie stepped closer to him, still clutching the gun.
“I know everything about you, Charlie Hieronymus Pace,” Mikhail said weakly. “About your womanizing. Your drug addiction. How no one cared about your band – they still don’t. How your mom died, and how your father practically disowned you. You’re a sinner – no one cared about you to begin with and no one ever will.” Mikhail grinned. “It’s all in Benjamin’s files. Of course, that last part was just a conclusion I made. Still completely true. You know, sometimes I read your file over when I’m down and I need a laugh.”
Charlie’s face turned red with anger and he pressed the barrel of the gun against Mikhail’s forehead. Desmond turned away.
“I never wanted to kill another person ever again, Mikhail,” Charlie said quietly.
“Charlie!”
Charlie turned away from Mikhail. Desmond was standing near the door leading into the control room. There was a long crack going down the center of the glass.
Mikhail took his chance and acted fact, grabbing Charlie with his good arm and knocking away the gun. It slid across the floor and into the moonpool.
“We’re going to die in here anyway, might as well take you down with me,” Mikhail spat, keeping a firm grip on Charlie as he struggled to get away. “Even if your friend does try to help you, once that glass breaks it’s going to flood in here quicker than it would’ve if the door wasn’t closed.”
Just as Charlie elbowed Mikhail in the face and frantically jerked away, the glass gave through and water spilled out over the floor of The Looking Glass. The water instantly went up to Desmond’s knees and he was pushed back slightly but still maintained his balance as he raced over to Mikhail and Charlie.
The water spilled over Charlie’s back and pushed him forward into Mikhail, who instantly grabbed him again with a single strong arm and pulled him down in front of his face. Mikhail tried to speak but the rushing water drowned it out.
Desmond ran up to them and jerked Charlie away from Mikhail and practically carried him over to the moonpool. Charlie pushed himself away from Desmond quickly when they reached the edge of what they thought was the moonpool and looked back at Mikhail who was now up to his neck in water, and it was still quickly rising. He looked terrified. Scared. Not wanting to die. He belted out a scream as the water burned his wounded legs. And then he was lost under the depth of the water.
Charlie turned back around and looked down into the moonpool. It was hard to tell, but both Desmond and Charlie knew this was where it was. It went off into darkness – there was no floor that they could see. Desmond looked at Charlie.
“You ready, mate?” Desmond asked.
“Why’re you asking?” Charlie questioned. “We’ve got to be ready – we need to go now.”
The water was now at their waists.
Desmond nodded and took a deep breath, preparing to dive under.
“Wait!” Charlie exclaimed. “Maybe we should wait…wait until it goes to our neck so we don’t waste any time and we have this time to breathe a little.”
Desmond nodded slightly and began taking a few deep breaths. But Charlie didn’t take the opportunity to breathe.
“If I don’t make it,” Charlie said quietly. “Tell Claire that I do love her, ok? I never got the chance to. I wanted to so badly, but –“ Charlie shook his head. “If this is it, if this is the real drowning that you saw…I want you to tell her because I wasn’t able to tell her myself.”
Desmond shook his head. “Charlie, this isn’t it. The drowning I saw was in the control room – not in the open water. You’re not going to-“
Desmond stopped talking as the water enveloped over him. He pushed himself up to the surface one last time, took a huge breath, and dove back under and swam down through the moonpool.
Charlie propelled himself up to the surface too and bobbed there for a moment, taking a couple breaths before diving back under to follow Desmond.
Hurley smiled at her and looked over their camp. The bus was still parked in the middle of the beach and some of the castaways were moving the bodies of the Others to a mass grave that Sayid was digging.
“We’re rescued!” Hurley called out to no one in particular. A few cheers erupted from a couple different people spread out across the beach and he turned back to Claire.
“C’mon, we should start getting our things together. I’ll help you since you have Aaron, ok?”
Claire nodded and walked with Hurley over to her tent. Hurley began packing her clothes for her.
“I can’t believe this,” Hurley said excitedly. “Charlie got us rescued. I think Jack has some competition now. I’m sensing an island showdown,” he teased.
“My money’s on Jack,” Sawyer added in as he approached Hurley and Claire. “How much does Charlie weigh? Forty pounds?”
Claire frowned and Hurley stared at him. “Dude, he’s not even here right now and you’re still harassing him.” He paused. “And I think he’d be dead if he weighed forty pounds.”
“Ninety pounds, then, whatever,” Sawyer said, waving his hand in dismissal. “Point is, if there was an island showdown between Jack and Charlie, Jack would win.”
“Do we HAVE to insult him even when he’s not here?” Claire asked. She paused. “We still don’t even know if he’s ok…”
“He unblocked the signal, didn’t he?” Hurley pointed out.
“Yeah…” Claire said, adjusting Aaron on her hip. “But what if someone was down there? And hurt him?”
“Then he wouldn’t have been able to unblock the signal,” Sawyer said. “It’s not that hard to piece together, Blondie. He’s fine. Simple as that.”
Claire bit her lip and put Aaron in his crib to help Hurley pack. Something inside of the crib caught the sun and a spark of light showed briefly. Claire frowned thoughtfully and rummaged around the edge of the inside of the crib and pulled out a large ring.
“Hey!” Hurley exclaimed, noticing it. “That’s the ring Charlie always wears.” He paused. “Why is it here?”
“…He left it,” Claire whispered, a slight panic building up inside her. “Why would he leave it? Oh, God…” she stood up, pocketing the ring. “Something went wrong.”
“Hey, calm down,” Hurley said, standing up. “You don’t know that.”
“He wouldn’t have left the ring here if he knew he was coming back!” Claire exclaimed, causing Aaron to start crying.
Jack approached quickly. “Claire? Are you all right?”
“Something happened to Charlie,” Claire said, looking out over the ocean as if expecting to see him rowing back.
“Claire, how do you know that?” Jack asked, feeling she was just overreacting.
“Because he left Aaron his ring!” Claire yelled. “Why would he leave without it if he thought he was coming back?” She sat down, exasperated. “This is my fault. I shouldn’t have let him go!”
Jack laughed slightly and Claire glared at him.
“Claire, it’s ok. I promise. He got the signal going. He obviously didn’t run into any trouble down there. And Ben said it wasn’t flooded – you heard that. He’s fine.”
“And you believe what he says,” Claire said angrily.
“Actually, it really isn’t flooded,” Alex said, approaching them. “I know now. He told us all it was, but then he sent down Mikhail…”
“He sent down Mikhail?!” Hurley exclaimed.
Alex looked down slightly. “Yeah. He did. I was there when he radioed him.”
Claire’s eyes widened. “What did he say? What did he say to Mikhail?”
Alex shook her head. “Claire, I don’t want to tell you-“
“Tell us,” Sawyer demanded, cutting her off.
Alex bit her lip and tried to look Claire in the eye. “He said – ‘I want you to kill Charlie Pace.’”
Jack opened his mouth to say something but Alex cut him off.
“But listen, don’t get scared yet,” Alex said quickly. “Greta and Bonnie – two people who were watching The Looking Glass – took Pace and radioed Ben asking what to do about him. Ben sent Mikhail down. And while Mikhail was down there, that’s when Ben told Mikhail to kill him. This was all before Pace switched on the signal. Somehow he did it. I don’t know what happened to Mikhail or Greta or Bonnie, but somehow your friend was able to switch off the jamming.”
Claire shook her head. “What if it was Desmond? What if they killed Charlie and then Desmond did it?!”
Everyone stared at Alex, waiting for an answer and some hope.
“Is Desmond Hume a musician? Or at least a Beach Boys fan?”
“Not a musician,” Hurley answered. “I don’t know about Beach Boys…but he’s not really the type…”
Alex nodded. “That’s what I thought. The equipment to jam the signal was programmed by a musician. Bonnie and Greta know the numbers to control the signals, and they know it goes to a Beach Boys’ song. I know them…they wouldn’t give that away unless they were really in some kind of peril or provoked to.” Alex frowned slightly. “I don’t know what happened to them. But somehow Pace got either the numbers or the song name and was able to break into the system.”
“How do we know they didn’t kill Charlie and then Desmond got the numbers from them?” Sawyer asked.
“Tell me, Ford,” Alex said. “If you were in peril, possibly dying, and someone was asking you for either a list of numbers or the name of a song, which one would you be more willing and able to give out?”
Sawyer said nothing.
“The song,” Alex answered for him. “Especially if you were protecting something. They didn’t know Pace was a musician - they hadn't read his files. They didn't know who he was. So they thought telling him the equipment was programmed to a song wasn’t a big deal. It wouldn’t help any. They didn’t think he knew the song. But he did. Unblocked the signal, got out of there. Easy as that. Somehow he got through Mikhail.”
“That’s a lot of assuming, Alex,” Jack said doubtfully.
“Makes sense, though,” Sawyer admitted dryly.
Claire said nothing.
“…Yeah, you lost me back at the part where you said Mikhail went down to the underwater hatch thingy,” said Hurley.
“But what if something happened after he unblocked the signal?” Claire asked quietly.
Alex shrugged slightly. “If something did, that would mean he had to stall Mikhail. I think the only way he would be able to get to that control room was if he, or maybe Hume, killed Mikhail. Trust me, he wouldn’t have been able to do it unless Mikhail was out of his way for good.”
There was a lengthy pause. Everyone naturally turned to look at Jack, even Sawyer.
Jack shook his head. “That’s a good theory, Alex,” Jack said, emphasizing theory. “But we don’t know anything for sure yet. The only thing we can do is wait. I radioed the crew on the ship a few minutes ago and they’ll be here tomorrow evening. If Desmond and Charlie don’t come back by sunset, we’ll go out looking for them first thing in the morning. Right when the sun comes up.” He looked at Claire as if trying to get approval.
Claire only nodded slightly and sunk down next to Aaron’s crib, frowning. Hurley sat with her and started talking to her quietly.
Jack turned his back and frowned, looking troubled. Sawyer noticed this and walked with Jack down the beach.
“Ok, Doc, what do you really think?”
Jack sighed. “What Alex said…it makes sense but so many things could be wrong. It was basically just one big assumption supported by the fact that we got the signal through.” He looked back at Claire and looked away again. “At first I thought it was fine – Charlie was fine. Ben said the hatch wasn’t flooded, so I figured it’d be smooth sailing once Charlie swam down there. But when Alex said Ben sent Mikhail down in The Looking Glass…”
“I got you,” Sawyer said, barely above a whisper. “You think they…?”
“I don’t know,” Jack cut him off, not wanting to think about it. He wouldn’t be able to stand it right now. “Like I said, we have to wait. If they’re not here first thing in the morning, you, Sayid and me are going out to The Looking Glass. All right?”
Sawyer frowned and looked out over the ocean. “With no boat? How exactly do we do that?”
“There’s the boat you and Kate took from the Others’ island to here. We’ll use that, it’s basically like the one Desmond and Charlie took.”
Sawyer nodded slightly. “All right. You, me and Muhammad are going after the rock star and Kilts at first light, then. I’ll clear my schedule,” Sawyer said with a slight grin.
“If they don’t come back on their own,” Jack pointed out again.
“Right. If they don’t come back.” Sawyer paused and looked back at Claire who was feeding Aaron smashed up fruit. “What’re we going to tell her if…?”
Jack shook his head and started walking towards Sayid’s tent. “I’ll deal with that if it comes down to it,” he called behind him.
The boat was nowhere in sight and neither was Desmond. All Charlie could see was the ocean spread out around him and the island in the distance. Not too far away, but too far away to swim to in the state he was in.
Charlie’s chest felt compressed and heavy and his lungs felt weighted down. His head was throbbing and his legs felt dislocated at the hips – like they were just hanging loosely from his torso as if he were a marionette. Miraculously, he was still able to keep afloat with the help of his sore arms.
There was a small splash a few feet in front of him and he saw Desmond surface and begin coughing. His eyes were tightly shut and he struggled in the water before realizing he was now at the surface and was easily able to keep floating.
“Des!” Charlie sputtered, his limbs giving out entirely as he slipped back under the surface. Desmond pulled him back up, using every ounce of strength in attempt to keep them both afloat.
“Our boat? Do you see it at all?” Desmond asked, looking around urgently.
“No, I don’t,” Charlie answered. He pushed himself away from Desmond and waded rapidly on his own.
“We’ve got to swim back,” Desmond said. “We don’t have any time to lose, or else you’re going to lose your strength.”
“As if that hasn’t happened already,” Charlie muttered sarcastically. He looked out over at the island. “It’s too far away! We’re not going to make it.”
“Guess we better start swimming now, yeah?” Desmond said, beginning to swim in the island’s direction.
Charlie struggled on after him, getting water in his nose and mouth. Desmond was weakened from the swim to the surface, but nowhere near the state Charlie was in. He was still lightheaded from Greta and Bonnie’s blows and his body was still in a state of shock from nearly drowning in the control room. Not to mention the emotional toil he was in. Should he have died? What if they weren’t going to be saved now? What if Desmond was wrong about his recent interpretation of the visions? He had been so sure Charlie had to die before.
“You doing all right?” Desmond gasped as he continued to swim in the still, calm water.
“Fantastic,” Charlie said hoarsely.
The rest of the swim back was a blur. He only recalled his vision slipping in and out of focus a few times and Desmond pulling him to the surface and eventually on the warm sand – sand that he thought he would never feel again.
He suddenly started laughing as he rolled over on his back again. He buried his hands in the sand, closing his fingers around it and letting the grains sink in under his fingernails and shift through the spaces.
When he opened his eyes, he saw a clear night sky above him – not a single star and not a cloud either. He heard the waves lapping at the shore, but he was a few yards away from the shoreline itself.
“Charlie? Why’re you laughing?”
Charlie turned his head slightly and saw Desmond sitting next to a small fire he had built. It wasn’t until now Charlie realized he was completely dry. He sat up slightly. Sand that had caked onto his previously soaked body broke off.
“We’re alive!” Charlie announced, scooting over close to the fire and closing his eyes against its warmth. “Come on, we need to head back to the main camp. How long have we been here?” He stood up, his knees shaking slightly under the sudden weight.
Desmond stood up as well, stomping out the fire after lighting a torch to lead their way. “We’ve been here for about four hours – you’ve been out since we got to the shore, even a little before then. I just dropped you on the sand and you didn’t move until now. I didn’t want to leave you here to get someone and I didn’t have the energy to carry you back. You think you can walk?”
“Yeah,” Charlie answered confidently. “I’m not a cripple, you know. Just a little exhausted.” He paused and his face lit up slightly, even in the darkness. “I have to see Claire.”
She frowned and looked back down at the water lapping at her feet. Kate sat in the surf a little deeper, washing their dishes. She looked back at Claire, concerned.
“What’d you say?” she asked, abandoning the dishes and standing up.
“Charlie,” Claire stated. “I never appreciated him as much as I should have.”
Kate shook her head. “Claire, it’s going to be ok. He’s going to come back.”
“Stop saying that,” Claire choked. “No one knows anything. They don’t know…something could have happened…”
“You don’t know either, Claire,” Kate pointed out. “Telling yourself you’re never going to see him again isn’t going to help any.”
“It’s nighttime,” Claire said quietly, ignoring everything her friend had just said. “Jack said if he wasn’t back by now they’d go out looking for him first thing in the morning.” She bit her lip. “I thought he’d be back by now – I thought we wouldn’t have to resort to searching for he and Desmond.”
Kate shook her head. “Claire, please. You don’t know what’s going to come out of this.”
“Yes I do,” Claire argued back, a few stray tears now freely flowing down her face. “He’s dead. Gone. I was so ungrateful for all the things he did for me. If I had known, if I could change anything-“
“Claire!” Kate snapped, causing a few people down the beach to look at them. Claire’s face fell slightly, but she didn’t speak again. Kate got directly in her friend’s face, her own usually soft, bronzed face suddenly shifting to a frustrated, irritable one.
“You are not going to say another word about him until he walks down that beach,” Kate demanded, pointing at the long stretch of sand winding down by the treeline. Claire started to open her mouth but Kate immediately shushed her.
“You are not going to worry about him, say anything about him, or do anything about him until he comes back. You are going to go to your tent and sleep and not worry about anything. You’re going to go to your tent, Claire, and sleep through their search party.”
Claire shook her head. “What if-“
“If he doesn’t come back? Well, that’s not going to happen.”
Kate’s face softened and she contained a sigh. She couldn’t even put into words how guilty she would feel if Charlie actually was dead. But right now it wasn’t about that – it was about keeping the camp, and Claire, sane.
Claire opened her mouth to say more but quickly shut it again. She gave Kate a slightly hurt look and headed back to her tent. She passed Hurley who was holding Aaron for her.
“Claire? You all right?” he asked, noting the creases of worry in her face.
Claire only nodded slightly and slipped inside her tent. There in the corner was Charlie’s guitar.
She bit her lip and picked it up, running a hand down the smooth, water-stained wood. Locke had been able to repair the guitar, but not fully. The water stains were still very present, but the guitar remained playable. She smiled slightly, remembering how pleased Charlie had been just a few days ago when Locke brought it back to him, strings changed and all. He had thought the guitar was gone forever after what it had been through during his camping trip with Desmond and the other boys.
Charlie never had the chance to play his refurnished guitar.
Just as Claire was about to carefully put it back in its place, she noticed a composition notebook that was placed near the area where the guitar had been set. She curiously picked it up and opened it.
The pages were scattered with chords, lyrics, notes in the margins – all in his bold handwriting. There was nothing in the notebook that he himself hadn’t written. Until Claire flipped to one of the last pages.
There was a song that had obviously been printed out from the Internet. It looked like it had been crumbled and then smoothed out again, like he had recovered it from the crash. It was taped onto one of the pages.
It was called ‘Wonderwall.’
Claire remembered this song. She had heard it back in Australia quite a few times but had never thought much of it. And whenever she was with Charlie, he occasionally would whistle, hum or sing it to himself and she would simply roll her eyes and ignore him.
“Oasis,” he had said once. “Bloody geniuses. They were one of our influences, you know?”
“Uh-huh,” she had said absently. Once again, not appreciating him – not listening to him as she changed Aaron’s nappy.
Charlie had looked over at her and frowned slightly. “Do you like their music?”
“…What?” Claire had asked, looking up, genuinely confused after missing everything he had just said.
Charlie had just shaken his head. “Never mind.”
Claire smoothed out the wrinkles in the paper and read over part of the lyrics.
And maybe…
You’re gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all…
You're my Wonderwall.
She bit her lip and quickly shut the notebook, putting it and the guitar back in their places. If this was the end of him - if he was truly dead from trying to save them all - he was their ‘Wonderwall.’ Aaron’s, she herself – everyone’s. It was almost like a symbolic song. Almost like there was someone higher than them that knew.
She briefly thought back to the ring. She remembered when she found it; how she thought that maybe Charlie knew what was going to happen to him. Maybe Desmond had told him, yet again, that he was going to die. But she wasn’t going to worry anymore, as hard as it was. She was going to take Kate’s advice and have some hope.
She slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out his ring. She ran it over with her fingertip a few times, outlining the lettering. She then looked over at Charlie’s guitar. The strap was shredded slightly. She felt guilty doing it, but she walked back over to his guitar and ripped off a long piece of the strap that was dangling by a thread. She then sized it around her neck so it was still relatively loose and then slipped the ring on it so she could wear it as a necklace.
She put her hand up to her neck, fiddling with the ring nervously until she was able to let it go – it was safe with her now.
Charlie sped up even more when he saw the distant lights from their camp. “Come on, Des,” Charlie called over his shoulder.
When they arrived there, Charlie noticed just how many people were still awake at the camp when usually, at this time, they were sleeping. All eyes fell on he and Desmond and Charlie gave them a quick and quirky smile, scanning the dimly lit beach for Claire.
Clapping started from the back of the camp, and soon the entire camp erupted in applause and cheering. Charlie only grinned down at his bare feet before pushing through the group, leaving Desmond to answer questions.
Just as he made his way through the group, he was suddenly greeted with a huge hug and his face directly hit the shoulder of whoever it was that had just embraced him.
“Mmph,” Charlie grunted, stepping back slightly and rubbing his nose. There was a familiar laugh.
“Jack!” Charlie cried, hugging his friend back, making sure his nose missed Jack’s shoulder. Jack hugged him tightly and then held him out in front of him.
“Are you ok?” Jack asked, examining Charlie’s face. “What happened down there? It looks like someone hit you.”
Charlie shook his head. “It’s a complicated story,” he said. “We’ll catch up later on it, yeah?” Right now he wanted to see Claire. He paused. “We’re getting rescued, right…?”
Jack grinned. “Of course we are. I radioed the boat, they’re coming tomorrow evening.”
Charlie grinned and hugged Jack again, tears running down his face. He didn’t have to die. “That’s bloody fantastic!” Charlie exclaimed. “We’re going home!”
“Hey, Wash-up,” Sawyer gently teased, strutting up to them and opening his arms to Charlie. Charlie gave him a slightly scared look and stepped a little closer to Jack.
“What?” Sawyer asked, genuinely offended as he let his arms fall back to his sides. “You don’t wanna hug me?”
Charlie gave him a very what-happened-to-you look and timidly hugged him. “I…never expected that from you,” Charlie said with a slight grin.
“I make exceptions for washed up pop stars that save me from an island in the middle of nowhere, so don’t get too excited.”
Charlie smiled slightly and turned away from Jack and Sawyer, looking again for Claire.
He was about to go off and look for her when he saw Kate quickly walking towards him.
“Charlie!” she laughed, hugging him tightly. Charlie smiled and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her gently before releasing her. “Claire, is she around-“
“CHARLIE!”
Charlie audibly sighed, turning around. “Hi Hurley, I-“
In an instant, Hurley deposited Aaron in Jack’s arms, catching Charlie completely off guard when he saw the baby. Hurley then basically threw himself at Charlie, catching him in a bear hug.
“Dude! We all thought you were dead! Everyone was so scared! We thought the crazy Russian guy with one eye killed you! And then Claire found your ring and she like, had an aneurysm!”
Charlie pulled away. “Where is Claire? She all right?” Charlie scooped Aaron out of Jack’s arms and held him close, staring down at the baby as if for the first time.
“Dude, she’s fine,” Hurley said. “Last time I checked she was sleeping.”
Aaron clung onto Charlie’s index finger with his own small hand, gurgling and reaching up at Charlie’s face with his free arm. Charlie lowered his face down near Aaron’s and let the baby grab the end of his hair and tug slightly. A small smile escaped on Charlie’s lips and more tears fell from his eyes. He quickly wiped them when he saw Kate, Jack, Sawyer and Hurley all staring at him.
“Charlie, what happened there?” Kate asked, touching Charlie’s shoulder.
“We’ll all catch up later,” Jack stepped in and said pointedly, looking at Charlie. Charlie only nodded slightly.
“Go find Claire,” Kate said, taking Aaron from Charlie. Aaron’s tiny face immediately scrunched up and he started to gurgle again.
“Hey,” Charlie said with a small smile, tickling Aaron’s foot. “I’m not leaving you again.” He looked back at Aaron briefly as he quickly headed over to Claire’s tent.
When she opened her eyes, she heard much talking outside her tent and she quickly got up to see what was going on. Maybe there was news now. Maybe…
As she flipped open the flap in front of the entrance to her tent, someone else had started to come in quickly. She stopped where she was, shocked slightly at the sudden invasion.
She was quickly captured in a deep kiss. If the lips hadn’t been so tragically familiar, she would’ve pulled away.
Both pulled away from each other at the same moment and Charlie wrapped his arms around her, letting her rest her forehead on the front of his neck and cry quietly into his shirt. He kissed the top of her head several times, letting the scent of the sand come off her hair. “Claire, it’s ok,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m here now. I’m not going to leave you ever again.” He tilted her chin up so she was looking at him and kissed her lightly on the lips.
For the first time, Claire noticed that Charlie was shaking as he comfortingly ran his hands up and down her back. “Charlie, are you ok?” she asked, barely above a whisper.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” he choked out, now pulling her even closer. “I thought…” he shook his head and looked into her eyes. “Claire, I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Claire said immediately afterwards as if she had been waiting forever to tell him so.
Charlie’s eyes fell upon his ring around her neck. She noticed him looking and reached to take it off.
“No,” he said, grabbing her hand and pulling it back down. “You keep it – please. It’s better off with you. Besides…” he stared at her steadily, making sure her eyes stayed on his. “We’re going to be rescued. I’ll be with you, anyway.”
Claire hugged him again, resting her chin on his shoulder and closing her eyes.
Kate came in the tent with Aaron and smiled at them slightly. “He was getting fussy,” Kate said, handing Aaron to Claire and then leaving. Aaron didn’t settle down once he was in his mother’s arms. He reached out for Charlie and leaned forward slightly on his own.
Charlie carefully took Aaron into his arms and kissed his forehead. “I love you, Aaron,” Charlie said as he wrapped him in a blanket. A little smile formed at the corners of Claire’s lips and she moved closer in on Charlie so Aaron was in-between them. She smoothed back the little hairs on Aaron’s otherwise bald head and kissed his forehead in the area Charlie had. She looked up at him and saw him smiling slightly, but not directly at her. Aaron soon drifted off in Charlie’s arms and he carefully put him in his crib.
Claire sat down on her blankets and grabbed her water bottle, dumping it over a rag and patting the area next to her for Charlie to sit. He sat down across from her and she leaned forward, dapping his cuts with the edge of the rag.
Charlie pulled back slightly, flinching. “When we swam back the ocean washed away all the blood,” he pointed out, grabbing the hand that the towel was in and trying to push it away. But Claire shook her head and continued.
“It needs to be cleaned, anyway. I have antiseptic, too.” She paused and dropped the rag on her lap, touching one of the cuts lightly with her fingertip. A bruise was forming around it.
“Charlie, did someone hit you?”
Charlie looked down and nodded slightly. “Two girls – Others – were down there when I got there. Before Desmond came, they just…” he shrugged slightly. “Beat me.”
Claire’s face fell slightly and she started to clean the cuts again. She dabbed a little antiseptic on the rag and started the process over again. “And when Desmond came?”
Charlie cringed and told her about how Bonnie and Greta had died and how Mikhail came. He told her how they had thought Mikhail was dead, but had reappeared later when Charlie was alone in the control room. Claire stopped cleaning when the entire story was done.
“Why would you do that?” she whispered. “Lock yourself in here?” She looked at him with scared eyes. “You could’ve stepped out first before you closed the door. You didn’t have to kill yourself.”
“I wanted things to turn out like Desmond had said, Claire,” Charlie said, taking her hands in his. “You and Aaron – you were my first priority. I wasn’t thinking about me.”
“And you didn’t stop to think what would happen to me if you were gone?” Claire asked, her voice breaking slightly.
He paused. He really hadn’t thought about that.
“I assumed that you would be happy off here – to go back to your old friends.” He paused, cautious with what he was about to say. “I thought that maybe after I was gone you’d be ok. I thought maybe it wouldn’t matter anymore – you never showed any signs that you desperately needed or wanted me, anyway.” He looked at her warily.
Claire’s eyes widened slightly. “Then why did you come running in here and kiss me? And then talk about getting rescued and being together?”
“Because I really do love you, Claire. I got carried away. I just don’t know if you feel the same. That’s why I was so willing to do that – for your benefit, not for mine.”
“Charlie,” Claire said gently, touching the side of his face lightly. “You have no idea what state I was in while you were gone.” Her other hand flew up to the ring around her neck. “I love you. And I was so scared because I never had the chance to tell you, or show you that I did. Her hand fell down from his face and she sighed.
“Desmond’s flashes? Have they stopped?”
“Yeah,” Charlie answered. “He told me he interpreted them wrong.” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anymore. We’re getting rescued.”
“And we’re going to be together,” Claire said pointedly. Charlie smiled and brushed her hair away from her forehead slightly. Claire leaned in and kissed him, letting her eyes naturally close and his arms wrap around her.
There was much scurrying across the beach and in the tents. Claire and Charlie were in their tent, frantically throwing things together in backpacks and suitcases while Aaron was asleep in his crib.
After Charlie packed his things, he un-pitched their tent while Claire continued packing her own things. He then set his guitar with his suitcases and went to grab his composition notebook, but when he reached for it the wind picked up and blew back the cover, letting the one loose-leaf paper he had inside of it – ‘Wonderwall’ – blow out and across the beach into the water. He frowned slightly and stuffed the notebook in his backpack.
“At least it wasn’t anything I wrote,” he said quietly, glancing back to where it had blown off.
Claire smiled slightly and set her bags with his. “Shouldn’t have taken down the tent, I guess. And it’s not like you can’t go print it off again when we get home. It’s very much a produced, real song,” she teased.
“I know,” Charlie said. “But it meant a lot. That copy did, anyway. I found it after we crashed. It wasn’t even mine, but I’ve held onto it ever since. It was like a good omen when I found it.”
Claire smiled and kissed him lightly. “No worries, ok?”
Charlie smiled and hugged her. “Right. No worries.”
Only a few minutes later, the helicopter landed in the sand.
Crewmembers got off the helicopter and began loading on their bags as they let the survivors on. Charlie let Claire and Aaron go ahead of him onto the helicopter, yelling to her over the loud noises that he had forgotten something, and then running back to their flattened tent.
Desmond watched Claire and Aaron get onto the helicopter and he quickly scanned the beach for Charlie, suddenly alarmed now. But a sudden wave of relief hit him when he saw Charlie coming towards him, his two shoes in his hand.
“I found them this morning on the beach,” Charlie laughed, standing on one foot as he slipped one on. “I thought I’d never see these things again.” He switched feet and put the other one on.
Desmond started laughing and Charlie looked at him quizzically. “What is it, mate? Something funny about my shoes? Just because you would never wear them doesn’t mean-“
Desmond shook his head and Charlie shut his mouth. “No, your shoes….you lost them while you were swimming down to The Looking Glass. You get down there, fix the signal, go back up to Claire, shoes wash up on the beach, helicopter comes, Claire gets on the helicopter with Aaron by herself because you were going to get your shoes back.”
Desmond laughed again and Charlie grinned slightly.
“I personally think you’re putting too much thought into this, but I’ll take that,” Charlie said, hugging Desmond. “Come on. Lets go home.”
Charlie smiled brightly at her when he sat down and Claire carefully let him take Aaron.
“You can come to my apartment, and we’ll figure things out from there, yeah?” Charlie asked, taking his eyes away from Aaron briefly to look at her.
“Yeah,” Claire answered, tickling Aaron’s foot and making him squirm slightly in Charlie’s arms.
Over the loudspeaker, ‘Wonderwall’ played quietly.
Both Charlie and Claire stopped talking and fell silent, listening to the lyrics.
And all the roads we have to walk are winding.
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.
There are many things that I’d like to say to you,
But don’t know how.
And maybe…
You’re gonna be the one that
Saves me.
And after all…
You’re my Wonderwall.
-LOST-
A/N: Aww. Shame it couldn’t have really turned out like that. Oh well. I’ve always appreciated what happens in Fanfiction more than what happens on the actual show, and things haven’t changed. I know, I know, I left out the “Not Penny’s Boat” thing. But I wanted to add more things in there and not have to worry about that. As you can see, it’s a long story and adding that in there would’ve made it even longer. And you don’t want that.
And, this is most definitely a one-shot unless one day when I’m bored and I have nothing else to do I decide to add onto it, but I don’t know if that’ll happen.
So please, review! Thank you so much for reading.
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