|Deep Silent Complete
Author: Arakhne PM
Why did you use that sword on me when you knew it wouldn't be of any use? Why indeed. [ Kira x Katou ]Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Kato Y. & Kira S. - Words: 858 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Published: 06-07-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3580112
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Please excuse the angst. I wrote this in all of 30 minutes, so it was mostly just musing. I'll have some real Kira/Katou funs up sometime soon hopefully. This was just me testing some things out. Rated T for Katou's language.
Deep Silent Complete
"Why… Why did you use that sword against me when you knew it wouldn't be of any use…?"
"… What?... You didn't kill me in that one blow just so you could ask me that?"
This is the closest I've been to that fatally gorgeous face of yours since before I died. The first time. Forgive me for treasuring the moment. Humor the dying man, will ya?
I didn't actually expect that you wouldn't completely obliterate me as soon as I went for you, so I hadn't really prepared an answer for this question. I was never too great at improv anyway.
"I told you, remember…? I can't remember anything…"
It's obvious you see straight through that answer. If you were still you you'd smack me upside the head and say "Bullshit." then stare at me until I gave you a real answer. A bitter, semi-sad, semi-snarky smile pulls over my lips and your expression still doesn't change. I find that I actually kind of miss that impossible stare you used to look down on me with when I did something stupid like this.
Now you're simply... blank. You look deader than I feel.
My vision is fading fast and I can feel my faux body rotting away at a rapid pace. The coppery taste of blood soaks into my mouth and crimson liquid escapes the corner of my lips to cascade down my chin.
Funny. I didn't think I could still bleed in a plant-body. Maybe I'm just leaking out chloroplast or some weird plant shit. I get a pretty funny mental picture of myself trying to photosynthesize and I would laugh if I wasn't in the middle of a dramatic death.
It gets less traumatizing each time it happens, but it's still a pretty intense experience so suffice to say my attention is kind of one tracked at the moment.
Plus, if I start laughing you might just think I've finally lost my ever-lovin' mind and cast me aside.
"As always… I'm such a bad liar…"
I can't tell if it really hits you or not or if you just don't care. I never could read you. I don't think anyone could. Maybe Setsuna, but he'd've been the only one. It's probably more likely that you, Oh Prince of Darkness and Scary Shit, don't give a fuck about the idiot kid who flung himself onto your weapon.
But if that's the case, why bother to stop and ask 'why?'
What I said earlier… about not remembering who you are or why I'm so obsessed with killing you… That's a bold-faced lie if I ever told one.
And you know it. Don't you?
As I fall back, away from you for the last time, I see the recognition in your dead eyes. So that really is you, huh? The guy I know is still in there? Or was it that Lucifer was just always inside of Kira? Shit, it's confusing. But I think I get it now.
You were always one in the same.
Somehow that's comforting, as crazy as that sounds.
Comforting in the sense that someone as big and important as Nanatsusaya or, hell, Lucifer, would bother with a punk like me. Would bother to come find me at 3 AM and haul my drug-addled self to a hospital to get my stomach pumped or back to your place.
Comforting also in the thought that that same guy didn't disappear in the midst of something bigger than himself, something he couldn't control. The same way shit happens to me all the time. But you're stronger than I ever was. You know I've always envied you for that.
And it's kinda sad too. In life all I did was cling to you, and even in death, all I can find to give myself some kind of purpose is to chase after you until my luck has run out.
I dunno. To follow the trend? Because no matter where I go, what I do or what side I take, I'll always be dragged back to you?
Or maybe it's just that I don't feel like I have any other place in the world away from your side.
Maybe it's because it would feel like a defeat if I was killed by anyone other than you. Somehow, if it's you, it's just like a resolution I've been needing for a long time.
Maybe I wanted to be close to you.
Maybe I just wanted to die in your arms.