Feelings... I've never had the pleasure of ever being happy. How does it feel? Does it give you the sensation that you're floating on air? I've heard many people say that, you know. Floating on air... I'm more in touch with anger, sadness, guilt and regret. They are my bedfellows and I love to cuddle with them every night- hug them close to me like a raggedy teddy bear with one eye.

Happiness... It seems so foreign- so out of my reach. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be happy but I've come to the conclusion that it just wasn't meant to be. It's my belief that some of us are born full of hate, overflowing with savage rage, depressed and feeling contempt for those around us that just don't understand.

Floating on air... If I close my eyes, I can picture myself. The fluffy clouds, the bright blue sky, the sun trying to shine through my closed eyelids. My arms are outstretched, a smile of joy on my face.

A smile... That's funny actually! Me smile? What could I possibly have to smile about? My life has been nothing but pain. A void of nothingness. Black as the night, silent as the grave. No softly whispered I love you's, not one.

Love... Is it as wonderful as they say it is? If I have one regret in all of my worthless years on this earth, it has to be never letting myself love. It's not my fault you know, I just never learned how. Do you just close your eyes and let that warm feeling overtake every nerve ending in your body? How can you let yourself lose control like that, put your heart and soul out there like that when you have no idea what will happen? It must be nice- that feeling of total abandonment.

Abandonment... I know more than I wish about that. Perhaps that is where all of my anger and sadness stems from, it must be. I like to think that I was born this way, that my past had no part in the shaping of the evil twisted man you see before you. People leave, they die and there is nothing you can do about that is there? Death is the one thing you can't control. I've learned that the hard way.

Death... my obsession, my fear. How frightened I am of the nothingness! The thought of ceasing to exist- to never be able to ever again walk in the sun or the moonlight, to hear laughter or screaming, to feel rain or to see the clouds!

Clouds...floating on air. It seems so peaceful, so calming. To be weightless, to be free.

Free... Oh how I long to be free! Free from this anger, this guilt, this sadness that has consumed my very being! I want to float on air, I want to be happy, even if it is for only a fleeting moment!

I take a step and then another. I look over the edge. I can't see the bottom because the clouds are thick and fluffy. They look so inviting. I take another step- into nothingness, and finally I can smile. I am no longer Voldemort- walking in darkness. I am Tom Riddle, full of happiness.