Author: iRocka PM
ON HIATUS. You're a mystery I'm longing to solve. Just like your creations, you're so abstract. She's a girl who wanted to understand the life of a guy she just sat with on the bus to school. Is this a Mona Lisa in the making?Rated: Fiction K - English - Romance/Mystery - Jeff Hardy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,648 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 06-29-07 - Published: 06-17-07 - id: 3598678
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own any WWE Superstar mentioned in this story, as well as shows, channels and other trademarked products that I did not trademark myself. Logos, brands and names belong the actual creator of the aforementioned.
He was always sketching something. He was always busy with his sketchpad and charcoal that he never bothered to laugh at her antics. He never looked at her and once smiled. It was always that sketchpad he was busy with! If I could only steal that little thing away from him for five damn minutes and get him to notice me… she schemed in her head as the Art teacher was discussing about how to properly flick the brush.
Taking Art as extracurricular had its benefits besides Aya being able to see Jeff everyday. She had learned how to properly paint and sketch. She had to admit, her drawings had improved in the past months. She could now actually enter as a designer in the modern world. She knew how to sketch house plans and make abstract Art. She was never afraid to express her feelings through colors now. It was becoming an output of her emotions.
"So, class, for your final exam this quarter, you will be making a sculpture out of absolutely anything. You can work individually or in pairs. You can also work in triads or more. So, it's a free project. You can do anything you want. Just make sure it is a sculpture with a meaning behind it." Mr. Blah said.
Everyone started buzzing around about who was gonna do what. Some were beginning to team up with classmates; some were already sketching their masterpieces on their pads. Everyone was abuzz with the final exam that nobody noticed someone who was feeling rather left out, in a way.
Aya just sat there and looked around. Everyone had their own cliques to join up with. Nobody in the popular crew had joined the same class as her for obviously lame reasons. They all took some other class. She looked around and scanned the students. Looks like she was doing this project alone. She sighed as her sight drifted to Jeff who was sitting at the back of the room all by lonesome as usual.
He was sketching again. She would never know what he always draws, but she knew he wasn't interested. She sighed again. She was turning so emo in the past few days. Taking a deep breath, she pulled her iPod out of her body bag and put the earphones on. She played a rock song, one befitting of her mood, and put it on so loud that the rest of the world disappeared.
Oh why can't I be what you need
a new improved version of me
but I'm nothing so good
no I'm nothing
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
I beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down fold me in
deep deep deep in the heart of your sins
She let the lyrics burn her ears as she sang the song in her head. It wasn't fair how he never gave her a chance. Well, she never asked for the chance but still! He should know better. She tried to get to know him. She tried sitting beside him on the school bus again. But like Lorraine said, "… No dice…"
I break in two over you
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you don't see me, you don't...
She shook her head in dismay. He was her first crush! And it had to be like this. The one man she had learned to like and actually feel the 'butterflies' thing, he was simply so… blind. It was either that or she was invisible. Which was so unbelievable since she was, after, a member of the popular crew. I guess it's human nature to always want what you can't have… she thought to herself as she forced back the willing tears.
She felt the vibrations of the school bell coursing through her body as she grabbed her body bag and sped out of the room. She was in no mood to deal with seeing him so undisturbed there. Was this the pain she had to go through for the rest of the year? There was only about a month and a half left and this had to go on! She was graduating from Cameron High after that amount of time and he goes and pulls this joke! It was impossible.
She ran from the Art room to her locker and immediately fixed her things. She left her Economics book and placed into her bag her Physics, Pre-calculus, Bookkeeping and Literature books. She quickly shut her locker, placed the combination before jetting off to the field for cheerleading practice. It was Thursday today and their practice was until 8PM.
On the field, Aya took out all her frustration. They were all only wearing casual but fit-for-cheerleading outfits. Aya was wearing a black miniskirt, a black razorback and white rubber shoes. They were practicing an aerial routine with gymnastics and other exhibitions. The coach said they had to give it all they've got. Aya channeled all her frustration there and she was literally popping out from the team. Her moves were so defined, so static-y that the team was amazed.
That time, Aya was set to do a hip-hop solo. It was cromping mixed with lots of pops, locks, exhibitions and break-dance. It was to the tune of Jiggle It by Young Leek. Her dance, her moves, her way of expressing herself, they were all so exotic that the cheerleaders, as well as the coach, we astonished by the way she pumped it.
After her two-minute dance, which she would be dancing solo during the Graduation Ball with the other girls as back-up, she walked over to the bleachers and sat down. She took a bottle of water and gulped half of it down in three gulps. She looked across the field after drinking and saw that he was sitting there. Again.
Every time she would look across the field, there he would be, sitting down, looking pretty, and as per usual, sketching. She shook her head, dismissing all the thoughts and stood up. Practice was now over. She had worked off all her emotion and she was feeling a bit lighter as compared to earlier. She grabbed her towel and headed to the locker room where she changed into her casual clothes.
Inside the locker room, Blee, Lorraine and Lish all walked towards her. Lorraine and Lish sat beside her on the bench while Blee contented herself with leaning on the lockers. "So, Ay, you wanna tell us what's up?" Lish asked, placing an arm around Aya's shoulders.
Aya shifted her sight to Lish, Lorraine and Blee before breaking down and sobbing into Lish's chest. No matter how popular and snobby the three may be, they were always there as Aya's friends. There was no backstabbing between them and secrets were always kept secrets. She could always lean on them for support and cry on their shoulders whenever she felt bad.
"What's wrong, girl?" Lish asked as she rubbed Aya's back.
"…Why can't I ever be visible to him?" her strained voice came out almost a squeak. The tears just kept pouring out and no matter how hard she tried to stop them, they just wouldn't. They continuously flowed out as if they were the rivers enveloping Mesopotamia in Asian History.
"Jeff still not minding you?" Lorraine said as she stroked Aya's fresh-from-the-shower hair. Aya nodded.
"Look, girl, is that damn guy isn't minding you, then he's not worth your fucking time. He's an asshole if he doesn't see how fucking head over heels you are over him. Damn him and let's just get on with our lives." Those colorful words coming from none other than the lips of Blee.
Aya ended up chuckling a bit at Blee's frankness. Soon, all of them burst out laughing. It was always Blee who seemed to lighten up the conversations with her price choice of words. Soon, everything became at bay and Lorraine decided to speak up. Of course, after flipping her light brown locks over her shoulder fashionably.
"Look here, Ay. Jeff's not really known for noticing girls. He's a natural-born heartbreaker. He attracts all the girls subconsciously but he never really pays attention to them—"
Lish continued. "—Take it from us. All of us fell for him at one point in time. I think I did back in freshman year. No matter how beautiful, talented or whatever you are, he doesn't mind you. He has this own little bubble that always keeps him away from the real world. That's Jeff Hardy.
"Yeah." Blee continued. "He's always there physically but his damn mind's somewhere else. Sure, he's Mr. Popularity but he never wanted that. All he wanted was fucking art supplies and something to draw. He said it on one of his damn essays which I stole from our fucking fifth grade English teacher when I had this huge fucking infatuation over Jeff."
Aya looked at her friends and said, "You know, it's not really infatuation. It's just… something that I can't explain really. It's like, I don't like him 'cause he's just… popular and really don't go after popular guys or something. But I like him… because he always leaves me intrigued. It's like, he's there but he's not. It's like, in those few moments when our eyes meet, no one else exists…"
Lorraine and Lish rubbed her back and said, "It's ok, Ay. Just learn to let him go. When you do, and he realizes he likes you, that's gonna be his loss. You're a beautiful girl, Ay. He's gonna regret it."
They all smiled at each other before standing up and deciding to leave the locker room already. They linked arms and runway-walked out of the locker room and into the dark Cameron night. Lish dropped them all off at their respective houses. She dropped off Aya last since their houses were the closest. Once Aya was out of the car, Lish said, "Remember, he's just a guy… Don't let him control your life."
Aya nodded and smiled at her friend before watching the black caddy zoom away into the night. She walked into her house and proceeded up to her room where she began to do her homework without eating dinner.
She was lying down on her tummy on her pink comforter clad bed and was reading a chapter in her Literature book. She held a silver and white Parker mechanical pencil in her right hand and was tapping it on the book as her Burberry glasses-covered eyes scanned the book. So if the main character is supposed to be the one doing this… The protagonists are that… And the antagonists are supposed to do this… Then the supporting characters are the ones defining th—her train of thought was suddenly cut when her mom entered the room.
"Ayana, darling… Do you have a minute?" Alessa asked, peeping through the wooden door and into her daughter's room.
"Uhm… Make it a quick minute, mom. I've still got lots of homework to do." She said and smiled up at her mother.
Alessa stepped into the room and sat down on the edge of Aya's bed. "Baby, you're dad just received a phone call this morning and…" Alessa began her little sentence. Though she stopped before the actual surprise, her face was a dead give-away.
"No… Mom… Mom. You can't do this." Ayana began to say to her mother.
Alessa sighed and said, "I'm sorry, baby. But you're father just got moved back to Manhattan! You see, now we can be back with your cousins and relatives. Your old friends are going to want to see you again."
"No!" Aya screamed. "I already have friends here! I fit in here! How come whenever I'm at the top of my game, you always find a way to ruin my life?! So what? After I graduate high school, we're gonna move again and I'm going to have to work my way up again? Mom, this isn't fair!"
"Ayana, we can't do anything about it. Your father is needed back in Manhattan and he's done his duty here. We can go home now." Alessa reasoned.
"This is my home!" Aya shot back.
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
"Ay—" Alessa tried to say something but her daughter cut in.
"No! Please just shut up! And get out of my room! OUT!" Aya screamed. Her mother willingly obliged to her daughter's wished in silence. Once Alessa had walked out the door, Aya slammed the door shut and leant on it before slowly sliding down it and to a sitting position on the floor. She brought her knees up to her chest and cried into them like there was no tomorrow.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
The next day, Friday, Aya rode the bus to school with a heavy heart. Lots of people took notice of this and tried to comfort and console her, but no one had succeeded. Everyone had yet to know that she was leaving the state after this term and Aya wanted to keep it to herself for longer time. She just had to keep quiet, pull her black jacket hood over her eyes and disappear from the world. That was all she had to do.
The day went by like any other. There was Physics, Calculus, Literature (in which Aya aced her quiz), Gym and Bookkeeping. Recess and Lunch breaks were pretty quiet for the senior girl, but she trudged on with life. Her friends tried to worm everything out of her but even they didn't succeed in anything. Last period, Art, even went by. And Aya still remained silent. The issue on Jeff only made her feel worse about herself.
After school, cheer practice was scheduled. They only had it until 6 on Fridays. As the squad was practicing their cheers and their routines, Aya's eyes averted to the green-haired lad sitting across the field. He was, to no surprise, sketching again. He was on the same spot, with the same look on his face and the same activity being done. She didn't mind it for now, and continued on with her practice as she tried to ignore the tugs on her heartstrings.
Six o'clock came rolling by and everyone was dismissed. Aya immediately changed and avoided everyone's questions and eyes. She walked out to the field almost immediately. In the process, she saw Jeff still sitting there and packing his things already. I have to do this now. Or else, I'll move on with life with him not knowing how I really feel about him… C'mon, Aya! You can do it! She encouraged herself.
Taking a deep breath, she walked across the huge expanse of lush green grass and to the Hardy. Once she was in front of him, she said, "Jeff, may I talk to you for a second?"
He nodded and stood up.
Aya looked down for a moment before gathering up the courage to say, "Jeff, I don't know if you're ever gonna realize this unless I say it an—wait. I'm not making sense here. Look, the bottom line is that, ever since the day we sat on the bus side by side, I've always been wondering… why you never really gave any girl a chance to love you. I mean… You're Mr. Popular around here. How come you don't give a girl a chance? I mean—"
Before she got to say another word, he covered her mouth with his hand and whispered, his voice being audible for the very first time…
"...Because I'm afraid of loss..."