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: B s . A A A    : full 3/4 1/2   : E E   : Light Dark Games » Final Fantasy VIII » What You Deserve

DeadnightWarrior
Author of 16 Stories

Rated: T - English - Angst - Seifer A. & Zell D. - Reviews: 6 - Published: 06-19-07 - Complete - id:3603124

A/N: Another one-shot by me, yay. Oh well, I’m just feeling creative, I guess.I happened to find this while I was cleaning up in my room, and so I decided to put this on my computer. I actually like this very much even though it’s so angsty I could throw up. Anygays, enjoy and send me some feedback, m'kay?

Warnings: ANGST, implied non-con, language, a male/male relationship. Do I really have to warn about that? No one ever warns about heterosexuality.

You know it, Square owns them.

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What You Deserve
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D-DISTRICT PRISON

The light shone straight into his eyes, annoyingly bright. Why couldn't someone just turn it off? He felt cold and his head hurt, like a major hangover or something. The floor under him was hard and cold, rather uncomfortable to sleep on. He could hear distant voices somewhere further away... Sure those voices weren't just inside his head...? And more importantly: where in seven hells was he?

"Zell? Zell, are you awake?" Now that sounded oddly familiar... A female voice that he should probably recognize, but he couldn't connect it to a face. Why couldn't he open his eyes?

"I think they hit him a little too hard..." Wait, he could remember this one, it was just on the tip of his tongue...

"Might be, like, a concussion, y'know? He's been out for quite a long time... Hey man, can ya, like, hear me?"

Now that thick Galbadian accent was entirely recognizable. "Ir...vine...?" he croaked out. Hell, his throat felt dry...

"Hey, the lad's awake! He even remembers my name so it can't be anything serious!" the sharpshooter grinned while helping the martial artist sit up.

"Well everyone who has been too near you has gotten a trauma of some level..." a dull voice countered.

"...Squall...?" Were they all there? Where exactly was 'there'?

"Yeah, it's me. Don't talk, save your strength."

Zell nodded a little, parting his lips as he felt something that oddly reminded him of a Potion bottle press against his mouth. He drank the contents eagerly, not really caring what the liquid really was. "Thanks..."

Squall shook his head, watching as Zell lay back against the sharpshooter supporting him. "They seriously overdid it..." he mumbled. So yeah, maybe he hadn't been that close with the people around Zell before, and most of all Zell, but this was going too far. If someone wanted to hurt the people he – almost – considered his friends, he hurt them back. "Seifer is so going to pay for this..."

Zell's ears picked up the mention of Seifer's name, but before he could ask what Squall meant, the heavy door opened and a guard stepped it. Oh, so they were in a prison, huh? Way to go. His eyes weren't still focusing properly, but he could recognize the familiar torn trench coat that followed after the guard. And the person who was wearing it.

Squall noted that Seifer seemed mildly surprised to see them there, but the expression was soon replaced with the trademark smirk. "Oh my, what do we have here?" the knight tsk-ed and fished a cigarette pack from the pocked of his coat. "Should've known I can't get rid of you that easily..." He lit a cigarette and leaned against the doorframe. "Figures..."

"What the hell do you want, Seifer?" Squall asked and nodded towards Zell, who had closed his eyes again. "Don't you think you went a little too far?" He frowned as he saw an unfamiliar emotion wash over Seifer's face as his eyes landed on Zell. But it was soon gone, the smirk once again back in its place.

"Didn't know you cared so much, Puberty Boy, all you ever do is ignore everyone."

...He couldn't believe it. Squall's frown deepened, Seifer sounded almost... jealous? He turned back to Zell as he saw him sit up from the corner of his eye. "You should lie down," he told the martial artist.

"No, I'm fine, really..." Zell mumbled, holding his head with the hand that wasn't supporting his weight. He slapped Quistis' hand away as she tried to help him. "Seriously, stop mothering me."

"Well the Chicken seems to be just fine..." Seifer rolled his eyes and blew the smoke out of his mouth, smirking as the people in the cell wrinkled their noses. "I came here to get Rinoa, not chat with lowlifes like you..." he made an eye contact with the mentioned girl and nodded her to follow him.

The raven-haired girl followed Seifer and the guards, and as the door closed, the remaining people were left in thick silence. 'What did they want from Rinoa?' they maybe thought. Or 'What's going to happen to us?', 'Maybe they're going to torture us to get something out of us...', 'But what?'

Zell gritted his teeth, trying not to act like the cry-baby that Seifer had always called him. Seifer... why was he doing this? Why did he leave the Garden to join the damn sorceress?

...Why did Seifer leave him?

"Zell? Are you alright?"

He turned to face Quistis who was looking at him in concern. He forced a smile onto his lips and nodded, causing the blonde bangs drop in front of his eyes. Damn... he needed some hair gel. "Yeah, Quisty. I'm ok."

"Alright," the former Instructor smiled. "Just lie down and take it easy."

"Sure," Zell said and fell back into his thoughts. Could he have done something to keep Seifer from leaving? It had all happened so suddenly he wasn't even sure what had happened until they had encountered the sorceress in Deling City. And Seifer with her, naturally... He was her knight now. The sorceress looked distantly familiar, but he couldn't really put his finger on it... "Hyne damn you, Seifer..." He mumbled and leaned his face in his palms. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated? He was yanked out of his thoughts as he heard the door open again and three guards entered the cell. Suddenly he had a bad feeling about the situation they were in...

"So..." Mean Guy started, though his voice sounded a little hesitant, as if he wasn't sure if he should have been there at all. "We were given permission by the Commander, to make your staying here worth our trouble..." he smirked, glancing to the two young women of their group.

"Commander..." Squall frowned. "...Seifer?" He didn't like the way the guards were watching Quistis and Selphie, like hungry wolves about to catch their prey, and after exchanging a glance with Irvine and Zell, he knew that they were thinking the same.

"Leave the women alone," Irvine ordered and stood up, but stopped when one of the guards pointed a gun at his chest.

"You're in no position to be ordering us around!" Mean Guy said with a confident grin, but startled visibly as Zell and Squall stood up too.

"You will leave them alone," the martial artist told, observing the slightly uncertain expressions on the guards' faces. Come on, they were SeeDs, how in hell did those guys think they couldn't beat them up into a bloody pulp in no time? They all had the basic martial arts training, after all, so the fact that they were unarmed didn't really matter.

"You can't do anything to us," Mean Guy said. "And even if you did, there are guards everywhere. You're trapped."

"Maybe so..." Irvine shrugged and left the sentence hang in the air uncomfortably.

The guards glanced to each other a little nervously, but then one of them braced himself and stepped forward to catch Quistis' arm in a firm grip. Irvine was ready to punch his lights out, but Zell spoke up before he could do that.

"If it's sex that you want..." he began and the others turned to look at him, including the three guards. "...I think it'd be better for you to start thinking with the gay sides of yourselves."

Mean Guy seemed a little surprised for a moment, but then he smirked and walked to the small blonde. "Watch out, little guy. I might think you're offering."

Zell lifted his eyebrow. "So maybe I am."

The room was dead silent for a while, until Mean Guy laughed. "Well it's the first time for everything, I guess..." None of them really understood what he meant by that, but it didn't really matter as the two other guards walked up to Zell, one to either side, taking him arms into a firm grip. "So, you're ready to sacrifice yourself for the ladies? How noble..." Mean Guy smirked. "I like that."

"It's not really a sacrifice..." Zell shrugged and the guards then began to drag him out of the room. He heard Selphie calling his name meekly and he turned to give her a reassuring smile over his shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"I bet you will," one of the guards pushed him out of the cell and the others fell into a long silence once again, none of them wanting to think what would happen to the blonde martial artist.


Seifer banged his head against the nearest wall, cursing aloud very colourfully. Why did they have to be there, why?! Hell, it would all have been so much easier if the prisoners weren't who they happened to be. He rested his forehead against the wall and sighed. And in all his confusion, he had given the guards a permission to do what the hell ever they wanted with them. He felt genuinely bad for the girls, all of them. The Galbadian guy, Irvine, and hell, even Squall!

And then there was Zell. His beautiful, sweet, innocent Zell. He laughed wryly, doubting that he had the right to call Zell 'his' anymore. Not after everything he had done... He had no idea it had been Zell who he had ordered the guards to beat up, he didn't realize it until he had seen his precious angel bruised in the cell, trying his best to convince everyone he wasn't hurt. Heh, there it was again. His angel...

Yes. His, and his only.

He startled out of his thoughts when he felt something wet glide down his cheek and he touched his cheek with his fingertips. A tear? No, it couldn't be... he wasn't crying. He hadn't cried in years and he certainly wouldn't start now. He shook his head and pulled himself away from the wall, his eyes catching movement on his right side. He turned to the three guards and his heart leapt into his throat. "Hey!" he called and walked to them. "What do you think you're doing?"

The Mean Guy turned to face him and saluted. "I remember you telling us that we could do whatever we wanted to the prisoners. This is what we want," he nodded towards Zell, who pursed his lips tightly.

"Y-Yeah, but..." Ok, now he was in a damned situation. If he withdrew his order, the men would probably question him and even report to Her... but if he didn't... Well everyone knew what was going to happen. He knew perfectly what the guards were going to do to his little angel. He couldn't allow it, but...

"Oh, you're wondering this, Commander?" Mean Guy patted Zell's shoulder, causing the martial artist to flinch away from the touch. "Well we were going to go for the girls, but this guy here offered himself if we left them alone and well..." He shrugged. "Sex is sex."

At this point Seifer wanted to plunge Hyperion deep into the guard's guts, but instead of doing that, he forced a smirk onto his face. "Well then, have fun."

Not even once did Seifer's eyes meet Zell's as the guards saluted and took him away.

Hyne, he wanted to throw up. What was wrong with him, how could he give the guards a permission to rape his boyfriend? "Oh... fuck..." He put his hand over his mouth, leaning back against the wall so that he could try and calm down. He should have known Zell would do something like that. Of course he'd offer himself so that the girls would be saved. "Goddammit..."

He was still there, leaning against the wall when a scream of pure agony cut through the air, making him shiver and rush to the nearest bathroom to empty his stomach.


Zell lay on the cold concrete floor, not moving, not bothering to dress his clothes back on. For one, he simply couldn't move. He felt like shit, and what was the point anyway? He could as well spare the guards from undressing him when they wanted to have their way with him again. He didn't cry; his tears had been spilled to the end a long time ago. And what good had crying ever done? All he had earned by crying was another insulting nickname.

Cry-baby.

Seifer had called him that for as long as he could remember, but it wasn't like he could help it; he was an easy crier and took everything to the heart.

He didn't notice he had gotten company, didn't hear his name being called. Yes, his first name instead of an insult. Only when he felt something wrap around him did he open his eyes and look up. The first thing he saw was a crimson cross on grey texture. Seifer's cross. He closed his eyes again as he was lifted up into strong arms, a soft voice whispering apologies to him.

"You don't have to apologize," he mumbled. "It was my own choice."

Seifer sighed. "Why, Zell, why did you do that...?" he asked, trying his best to keep his voice low and steady. He didn't want the guards to catch him from there, and more importantly, he didn't want to start crying. Again.

"...The girls are both virgins, I know it. It'd just plain suck if your first time was a rape," Zell explained, turning to bury his nose into Seifer's neck. It felt so safe like this; lying in his lover's arms, pretending all the horrible things that had happened had been just a nightmare, and when he'd open his eyes, they'd be in the secret area in the training centre of the B-Garden, or maybe in his room at his Ma's house... But it all came crashing down very quickly as he opened his eyes.

"You're simply too kind..." Seifer smiled faintly and hugged Zell closer to his chest. "...But that's just another thing I love about you."

Zell struggled a little to free his arms and wrapped them around Seifer. "Why did you leave us? Why won't you come back to us?" he asked, even though he knew the answer. "Why... why did you... leave... me?"

"Baby, you know I can't come back," Seifer whispered into Zell’s hair.

"Yeah, let me guess: that sorceress bitch."

Seifer sighed. "She needs me."

"More than I do, huh?"

The knight was quiet, thinking about the question before answering: "...Yes."

Zell pulled away from Seifer and fixed a stern glare at him. "You know what, Almasy? You're just one power-hungry bastard," he accused and turned to face the wall. "I hate you."

"...Yeah..." Seifer smiled sadly and turned Zell's head to be able to kiss him lightly. "I know."

The feeling of Seifer's lips against his lingered for a long time. After Seifer had left, after the guards had come and ordered him to dress, after he had been thrown back into the cell with the others, after the heavy door had once again closed with a loud thump... He could still feel the touch.

No one spoke to him and he spoke to no one. He could feel their eyes on him as he lay on his side, deciding it was more comfortable than sitting. “You don’t have to feel sorry for me,” he said, and then someone sat next to him.

“...Did they hurt you?” asked a meek, quiet voice. Selphie.

Zell shook his head against the arm that was acting as a pillow for him. “Not really.”

“Was it... Seifer...?”

NO,” Zell snapped and shot a glare at Quistis who had asked the question. The room fell silent and Selphie decided that it was wiser to leave Zell alone.

Later in the evening, or at least they thought it was evening because the lights had been dimmed, the door slid open and the guards came in once again. Mean Guy looked around in the room and after spotting what he had been looking for he smirked.

Zell heard footsteps coming closer, and without opening his eyes told the person to go to hell.

“Why, I just wanted to ask about our dear commander...”

Zell sneered. “What could I possibly know about him?”

“Well... Just a thought, since we seemed to break a private moment just a while ago...” Zell’s eyes snapped open and he glared at the guard murderously, but regretted it immediately as Mean Guy smirked. “Oh my, I guess I hit a nerve.”

“Fuck off,” the martial artist growled and turned onto his other side, hiding a grimace by pursing his lips tightly together. Didn’t those guys have any shame? Hadn’t they humiliated him enough?

“You know, it might cause major problems to the commander if we found out that he’s in a relationship with a prisoner...”

“Fuck. Off.”

“It must be tough to be on different sides with your beloved...” Mean Guy smirked. “I can’t even begin to imagine... To have the one you love turn into an enemy...”

Zell snorted. “Must be because you don’t know what it feels like to love and be loved.” Zell allowed a small grin play on his lips. “It must be tough...”

Mean Guy gritted his teeth and kicked the martial artist in the back, making him swear aloud and try to sit up. The other of the guards pushed him back down and stepped on his stomach to hold him in place. “So...” Mean Guy began and knelt next to the martial artist while the third guard watched the other prisoners. “You admit it?” No answer. He sneered and stood up, motioning the other guards to follow him to the door. “I guess we have to report to a higher level...” he smiled to the tattooed blonde who was glaring at them murderously. “It must be tough...”

As the door closed, Zell sat up despite the pain and drew his knees up to his chest. What would happen to them now? What about Seifer? “Goddammit...” he mumbled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He just wanted to go home...

The other four in the cell were silent, but not even Squall could keep himself from sneaking a glance towards Zell. Was it really true? Could it be, that despite all the insults and expressions of hatred, Zell and Seifer...? It was highly unlikely, he thought, but what did he know? He quickly looked up from his hands and to the martial artist as he heard a sound that oddly resembled a sob. Zell was leaning his face into his arms that were crossed on top of his knees and he was trembling. Before he could react in any way, Irvine and Selphie were by the martial artist’s side, holding him from either side, asking what was wrong.

Irvine and Selphie glanced to each other helplessly, not really knowing what they could do to help. Zell was now crying freely into his arms, leaning slightly towards Selphie whose arms were around him, Irvine’s hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. “Zelly, what’s wrong?” Selphie asked quietly, but got only a shake of head as a response.

“Hey... Tell us what’s wrong...” Irvine lifted Zell’s chin up to be able to look into those reddened eyes. He smiled gently. “We just wanna help you.”

Zell shook his head and looked down again. “There’s nothing you can do to help. Nothing anyone can do...”

Selphie glanced to Irvine and then turned back to Zell, offering a faint smile to him. “Can I ask something?” Zell shrugged, so she took it as an affirmative. “Are the two of you together? You and Seifer?”

The martial artist took his time to answer and Selphie did nothing to push him. He opened his mouth to answer, which should have been quite simple, really. Yes or no. Surprisingly, it wasn’t so easy. “...Yeah...”

Selphie smiled. “For how long?”

“Eight months.”

“Wow!” Irvine exclaimed. “I’ve never been able to be in a serious relationship longer than...” he counted with his fingers, even though it wasn’t really necessary. “Two months. And well, it wasn’t really even serious...”

“Well I can believe that,” Squall mumbled, but no one was listening to him.

“That’s, like, impossible! How can someone be with just one person for such a long time?” Irvine scratched the back of his head, causing his hat to tilt and finally drop in front of his eyes. “Don't you get bored?” he asked, lifting his hat back up.

Zell chuckled. “There’s no way to get bored with him.”

“...Is it just me, or is there someone else who took that in a perverted way?”

Selphie smiled. “No, Irvine, it’s just you.”

“...Oh...” the sharpshooter adjusted his hat and frowned, as if thinking something really deep. “So...” He turned back to Zell. “Is he any good in bed?”

“Irvine Kinneas!” Quistis shouted, Selphie giggled and Squall was ready to go ask if the guards could shoot him.

A small grin played on Zell’s lips before he answered: “...You bet.”

“That’s it,” Squall stood up and went to the door. “Guard! Someone, just shoot me!”

“If I just had my rifle...” Irvine laughed at Squall as the gunblader turned to glare at him. “Kidding, kidding...”

Zell sighed and lay back down onto the floor. “I really appreciate that you’re trying to cheer me up, but I’d like to be alone.”

“Alright,” Selphie took Irvine’s hand and led him back to Quistis and Squall. After a while they had all more or less fallen asleep, only the humming of some machines somewhere further away was heard.


In the middle of the night, Squall woke up to a weird feeling. He was sure that they were being watched. He propped up on his elbow and to his surprise noticed that the door of the cell was open. “...?!” He turned to look if his comrades were still there, and startled a little as found a sixth person in the room with them.

“You know, Leonhart,” a deep voice that he recognized as Seifer’s spoke up. “I’ve left you a perfect opportunity to escape. You’re an idiot if you let it slip.”

“Why are you here?” Squall asked and stood up, noticing that Seifer was kneeling next to Zell.

Seifer smiled faintly. “I came to say goodbye,” he said and kissed Zell’s lips gently before standing up and turning to Squall. “So...” He gestured towards a metal bar on the floor. “Gonna hit my lights out? They’ll get suspicious if I’m walking around alright and the prisoners are gone.” After seeing Squall’s sceptical look, he added: “There’s going to be an interrogation in the morning, you’d better be out of here by then.”

“What will you get from this?” Squall asked, crossing his arms across his chest. Seifer never did anything just to be nice.

The knight chuckled. “You know me too well.”

“Answer me, Seifer.”

Seifer glanced to his sleeping boyfriend, a small smile on his lips. “If you leave, I know he’ll be alright.”

Squall nodded slowly. “Good enough.”

“Surprised, aren’t you?”

“Can’t say I’m not,” the brunette shrugged. “But then again, it’s none of my business.”

“Hmm, I guess...” Seifer picked the metal bar up from the floor and handed it to Squall who took it a little hesitantly. “Before you hit me...” Seifer frowned a little. “Just... tell Zell that I...” He sighed in frustration. “I...”

Squall put his hand on Seifer’s shoulder. He had just decided that he didn’t hate Seifer that much after all. “I’ll tell him.”

Seifer smiled sadly to Squall and turned to look at Zell. “Thanks...” He kept his eyes on Zell the whole time until the metal bar hit the back of his head and he was knocked unconscious.

- END -



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