|Daycare and Librarians
Author: Hopeless27 PM
“Why does ORESAMA have to work as a COMMONER, aaan?” A time old tradition of Hyoutei has the boys setting off in a whole new world…aka: a commoners world… atoji and dirty. Rated T to be sure...Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Atobe K. - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,369 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 08-02-08 - Published: 06-21-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3607802
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Pairings: Atoji and Dirty
Disclaimer: I don't own pot.
Ish modelling Hyoutei to Aoyama Gakuin Junior High/High School division because that school is like 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000x better than mine, I think the high school division actually has a guard. O.o.
"Ore-sama refuses to 'hop like a frog' three steps." Atobe stood pompously over the young children.
"…If you don't, I'll do what I'm thinking of right now." Mukahi's eyes had the sadistic glint that was native to Oshitari.
"…Depends on what you're thinking of right now."
"Will you hop or not?"
"DOGPILE ON ATOBE!" Mukahi shouted as he ran towards Atobe amongst the crowd of children, to tackle Atobe.
Atobe had one moment to react, and that was to protect his dear face from the young crowd. Strangely enough, Mukahi was not the one who reached Atobe first, nor was it the little devil children, but it was…
"JIROU, GET OFF ME!" Were Atobe's last words. (So to speak…)
Mukahi finally reached Atobe and jumped on top of Jirou along with the little children. However painful it was to Atobe, it was an amusing sight for Oshitari, who decided to sit away from the pile and observe.
Jirou and Atobe were caught in a compromising position, with Jirou's arm around Atobe's neck and pressed down against him under the weight of twenty-eight children, and Mukahi. (Who was about as small as the children but that's beside the point… anorexic imbecile.)
"Ne, onii-chan…" One of the little girls tugged on Atobe's tousled hair, "why do you have an ugly dot on your face?"
"Ugly… dot…." Mukahi looked confused for a moment and then burst out laughing, "She's talking about your mole, Atobe!"
"…Ore-sama's mole is perfect just like ore-sama!" Atobe declared whole-heartedly while trying to stand up.
"Who loves Atobe more, the fangirls or himself?" Mukahi asked.
"Right now, I would say Jirou." Oshitari nodded towards Jirou still clinging on to Atobe in the dogpile.
"But the mole is ugly…" The girl argued.
"It is NOT ugly!"
"Ne, now that you mention it… it does make your face a little…"
"20 LAPS NOW!"
"Alright, alright, I'll stop already."
"I mean it, Mukahi!" Atobe barked the order.
"…But I'm volunteering!" Mukahi replied.
"THEN TAKE THE KIDS AND RUN LAPS WITH YOU!!" Atobe ordered
"NOW! Never insult ore-sama's mole."
Grumbling about strict buchous and the like, Mukahi surrendered to Atobe's command.
Oshitari smirked, gazing at Atobe's expression which betrayed no expression other than that arrogant smirk that graces his face 24/7. Atobe was a master at hiding his emotions, suppressing his sympathy and self-doubt.
"So what do we do for amusement now?" Oshitari asked himself, hardly able to contain his mirth.
Atobe groaned, "I've had enough amusement for a lifetime."
Unfortunately, it's Hyoutei, so more amusement has yet to come…
Hiyoshi closely dodged the book that whizzed past his ear and gazed in amazement at Choutarou's angry face.
The only time he'd seen Choutarou like that was when some punk ran over a kouhai with his bike. Needless to say, when Choutarou was finished with the punk, the poor guy looked hardly human. Therefore, it wasn't big surprise that Hiyoshi was more than a little scared.
Apparently, Shishido didn't know what the innocent little junior was capable of, as a book flew past Hiyoshi. Hiyoshi hightailed it out of there, thinking it prudent to hide behind Kabaji who was still carelessly filing DVDs.
"TINKY WINKY SUCKS DIPSY'S BALLS!" Shishido shouted, throwing a rather heavy book at Choutarou.
"WELL PO GETS MOLESTED BY ALL OF THEM!" Ohtori threw another book that vaguely resembled the size of an Oxford dictionary.
What passed in front of Hiyoshi and Kabaji's eyes was truly remarkable. It seemed like an assortment of random objects, from normal things like DVDs, books and library cards, to cakes, tennis balls and cacti. It seemed that every object known (or otherwise unknown) to man passed between Choutarou and Shishido in the throwing contest.
"Gekokujyou…" Hiyoshi mumbled, this was probably the only time he'll ever see two teenaged boys fight so intensely over Teletubbies.
"NIISAN!! We're gonna take the ugly dot off your face!" A little child tackled Atobe unexpectedly.
"You're going to… WHAT?" Atobe demanded, wrestling the little brat.
The children all seemed to think it was an awesome idea and once again, jumped on Atobe. "It's ugly and we're gonna fix it by taking it off!"
"You will NOT harass or otherwise touch ore-sama's face!"
Even before Atobe finished his sentence, a bunch of hands with dirty fingernails reached up and tried to scratch Atobe's face. (Oh the horror!)
"DO NOT TOUCH ORE-SAMA WITH YOUR DIRTY HANDS!" Atobe all but screeched.
A child's dirty hand reached up and poked the mole while Atobe was busy trying to hide his face in his arms. Atobe almost fainted. He would have too, if it wasn't for the fact that he had his precious face to protect.
Oshitari sat himself down on the couch and closely examined the situation. He smirked to himself as he planned ways to rub salt into Atobe's wound that would make Hiyoshi cry for joy.
"Yuushi! I order you to get these bratlings away from ore-sama!"
However, Oshitari decided that it wasn't safe to move (yet) and instead caught Jirou's eye.
Jirou fumed in a corner as he watched the little devils on top of his Kei-chan. Murder was written on his sweet face as he jumped into the pile again, adding to Atobe's horror.
"Look Niisan! We're going to paint it!" Smiled a little child brandishing a paintbrush with pink paint dripping off it.
"If you dare come near ore-sama, you will never leave this daycare centre again. Your father will lose his job, your mother will disappear mysteriously, only to be found three weeks later buried in concrete; your siblings will be slave labourers in Thailand and…" Atobe trailed off as the little child attacked him, almost sticking the paintbrush into his beautiful eyes.
Oshitari smiled, got up and walked towards the pile. At first, Atobe thought he was saved as Oshitari reached into the pile but instead of taking away the little kids, he took Jirou.
Jirou pouted as he was taken away from Kei-chan and sat squarely in Oshitari's lap, struggling.
"Get your hands off my Ji-" Atobe was promptly cut off by another child attacking him with an unreasonably sharp pencil, offering to "colour in" the ugly dot.
And of course, that was the scene Mukahi came in to when he finished his laps.
The encyclopaedia of Japan's complete history was what ended the fight in the library as it hit Shishido fully in the face.
Choutarou calmed down immediately, "Oh my god, Shishido-san! I'm so sorry!"
"Mmph…" Was all that escaped Shishido in the (quite comical) puddle of blood.
"SHISHIDO-SAN!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?" Choutarou cursed his temper.
"Choutarou…I… love you…" Shishido managed.
"SHISHIDO-SAN! I… love you too, I always have."
Shishido's eyes opened for a moment longer, "but not in that way." And closed his eyes for the last time.
Hiyoshi walked in to check up on the two and spied Shishido in the puddle of blood. "Gekokujyou…" One down, four to go.
Of course, Shishido wasn't really dead… We, er, hope. He was just rendered completely… unconscious and while he laid there in the puddle of blood, the duty of cleaning the library fell to Choutarou (silently crying), Hiyoshi (silently laughing) and Kabaji (silent). That feat took all day and by the time they finished, Shishido was just fine and apparently, forgot his confession of love… or friendship… or whatever; Hiyoshi was thoroughly pissed off, he had to clean the mess Shishido and Choutarou made and Shishido wasn't even dead. Sometimes, life is so unfair, he thought as they decided to go check up on the daycare.
Upon arriving, they found Mukahi engaged in a bitch fight with Jirou, whilst Oshitari watched, amused, and wondered if he should attempt to help. Jirou was torn between saving his own skin from Mukahi's unusually sharp nails and saving his boyfriend from the clutches of evil children, Atobe was torn between kicking Mukahi's butt and saving his no longer perfect face and Mukahi was torn between clawing Jirou's eyes out and joining in on the slaughter of Atobe. Needless to say, there was a lot of conflicting emotions in the room at that time. The supervising lady at the daycare just turned up the volume of the TV and watched some sort of drama, pretending none of this was happening.
Oshitari was snapped out of his musings by a little kid snatching his glasses and running joyfully back to Atobe. "I'm going to use the funny glasses to cover up the ugly dot!" The child announced, jumping back on Atobe who now resembled a rainbow version of Ronald McDonald.
The look Oshitari had at that moment was enough to freeze nitrogen. He stood up and calmly walked over to the pile and snatched the kid by the wrist. The kids all stopped their assault and watched. Even Atobe watched, a look of horror washing over his face as he realized he was wearing the glasses.
"Dear god, what has happened here?" Choutarou crossed himself and stepped in.
Hiyoshi could hardly suppress his grin, here were his senpai-tachi killing each other without him to even provoke it. He always knew this day would come soon enough and he muttered a silent thanks to the gods for this wondrous event. All he showed of his pleasure, however, was a simple "Gekokujyou."
Shishido followed and upon seeing him, several children began to cry. Blood still dripped from his head and his look was positively ominous.
"I told you that you were ugly enough to make kids cry!" Mukahi screamed, pausing in his homicide mission to taunt Shishido.
"Shut up, you cheap whore!" Shishido barked back, wiping the blood away with the hem of his shirt.
Kabaji jumped to Atobe's rescue, lifting kids away and bringing him a basin of water.
Thus all became well in the land of the Daycare as their shift was over and the supervisor was left to assess the damage. She happily accepted the help of Atobe's various maids and sighed with relief at the prospect.
So they left their horribly long day reasonably happy (that it was over)… except for Hiyoshi who still held on to the thought (the hope?) that his senpai-tachi would finish each other off one day once and for all. He sighed and cursed the gods for taking the chance of gekokujyou away, grumbling at how the gods seemed to love to play with him… that is until… Shishido fainted from excessive loss of blood.
"SHISHIDO-SAN!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!"
A downpour of rain fell (melo)dramatically down, drowning Choutarou's pleas.
"You'll live in my heart, always!"
A/N: took me a full year and a month to finish this. Wow. I'm sorry for the delay and the wacky ending… I'm just weird (and high off coffee at 12 am). I hope ral doesn't see this and kill me… and ICA DO NOT SHOW THIS TO RAL!! Finally summer skewl's over!! I'll be working on BOS5 soon… so stay tuned for that! YAYS! It'll be a SLOW process tho. I'm too lazy. Sry. –muah-
E/N: Angie makes life hardddd (no i dont!! that's mean!)