Take It or Leave It

IV.

O O O

One week had gone by easily enough, she figured, for her to be able to deem some of her Akatsuki Kitties “safe.” There were the few exceptions, of course, namely Kakuzu, Itachi, and Hidan. And sometimes Deidara. She could never be too sure about him.

But now arrived the problem of work.

Of course she had to work come Monday—tomorrow—with it being the end of her vacation time, but the big issue was that she just didn’t trust them alone in her home. As shown before, they couldn’t leave the premises—unfortunately—but they could make a sorry mess of things.

There were simply too many problems, she reasoned, sitting herself down on the couch with a cup of juice. She flicked on the television with the remote control, leaving it at a court program she didn’t pay attention to.

The prevailing problem, as previously mentioned, was the fact that she worked three, four, sometimes even five days a week. She worked at the hospital, and while she wasn’t one of the unlucky few who were on-call twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, sometimes there were emergencies, and she couldn’t exactly say no.

Well, not without looking like a frigid bitch, anyway.

The second problem was that all seven of her Akatsuki Kitties—she was unwarrantedly proud of her self-coined nickname for them—wanted to stay in their human states all the time. And she couldn’t blame them, really. Hell, she wouldn’t like being a cat, either. Or so she assumed.

They, being the criminal masterminds they were, managed to contract a device to keep them as humans for hours at a time. It was a skin-tight bracelet with a watch-sized bubble at the top, where water was held and kept against the skin. This kept them in constant contact with water, or at least until all of the water evaporated. A few of them had suffered minor skin irritations or swelling from it, but they didn’t complain. And as well they shouldn’t.

The only exception, of course, was Itachi.

There was no way in hell she’d let him be human around her. She wouldn’t even be alone in the same room with him as a kitten.

Back to the constant human issue, though, this opened up an entirely new can of worms for Sakura.

For one, it was simply too many people for her tiny apartment. They’d taken to camping in her living room, spreading sheets and blankets across the floor and occasionally fighting over who got to sleep on the couch that night.

Maybe this was why Sakura lay in the current state she was: wide awake, covers drawn up to her chin, staring up at the ceiling in frustration. Her bed was comfortable, sure, and the room temperature was fine, but there was simply too much on her mind. She still wasn’t entirely sure what to do about this situation. Sure, she could pretend that housing all these…people…didn’t unnerve her, but hell, the illusion wouldn’t be kept up for long.

She did hold a minute amount of sympathy for them, though. They must have been through a long, horrifying ordeal, and she didn’t want to think about how deeply it had scarred them.

Then again, they were kittens. Could she honestly take them seriously when they were like that?

Exactly.

With a sigh, she rolled over onto her side and flipped her pillow to the cool side. It was refreshing against her cheek, and she closed her eyes.

She was asleep soon enough, breathing deeply and evenly.

Of course, like all things in Sakura’s life at this moment, it didn’t last long.

She awoke what seemed like moments later, which was, in reality, more like hours later, to the feeling that someone was staring at her. And when she rolled over, someone was staring at her.

She couldn’t quite tell who it was, but before she could find the presence of mind to mobilize, the man was waving his hands frantically. “No, no, no! Don’t hit Tobi! Please!”

She stilled, cracking her knuckles when she clenched her fingers into a tight fist. “What is it, Tobi?”

With her eyes slowly adjusting to the dark, she could see the fuzzy outline of him in all of his no-shirt-but-a-convenient-pair-of-sweatpants glory, fiddling with his fingers.

“Tobi has…”

“Yes?”

“You see…”

“Yes?”

“Tobi is afraid!” he whispered hastily, bending slightly at the waist to stare intently into her face.

Sakura blinked. “A…afraid? Of what?”

“The dark! Tobi had a nightmare.”

“Oh, for fu—”

“Can Tobi sleep with you tonight?”

“No!”

He clapped a hand over her mouth, which she protested lamely at, and pulled it hastily away when she nipped at his fingers. “If you yell, the monsters will come and get you!”

Angrily, she pulled his water-watch off of his wrist. Water spilled on the floor, and when she dabbed the blanket at the water on his arm, he turned into a kitten with a pop.

“You can sleep in the bed like that. But only like that.” For God’s sake, she had to work in the morning and her slumber was needed, damn it.

Seemingly satisfied, he hopped up onto the bed, curling up at the foot.

It was kind of cute when she thought about it in that transient, abject way, but when she realized that a naked criminal was essentially sleeping at the foot of her bed, all she wanted to do was sleep away the stress.

Which she did.

Thankfully.

O O O

He wasn’t sure what she was doing, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to interrupt her, in any case.

Because before his very eyes, golden and penetrating in what would otherwise be utter darkness, Haruno Sakura, their impromptu savior, crawled to his sleeping place on her hands and knees.

He sat up slowly, soundlessly, two emotions battling for dominance in his head. She’s come to kill you, one said. She only wishes to speak, offered the other.

“Zetsu?” she whispered, and he knew then that the latter voice was correct.

“Yes?” he said just as quietly.

She crawled closer to him, finally opting for sitting on her shins on his designated blanket. “Zetsu…”

“Yes?” he repeated, softer this time, cocking his head. It was times like this that he was glad he’d lost his flytrap attribute in the recurring shuffle of kitten, human, kitten.

“I had a bad dream,” she admitted, clenching two hands to her breast. “I’m sorry. I was…I was just scared.”

He didn’t know quite what to do. “I…I see…?”

“Is it alright if I sleep with you tonight?” she pleaded, staring up at him with those pretty green eyes, shimmering with tears. And though this picture was quite endearing in its tempting entirety, something was telling him that the situation was off. He couldn’t put a finger exactly on it, but it felt—

“Strange,” Zetsu muttered. “Why come to me? Do I comfort you, little one?”

She nodded quickly. “Yes.”

The darker side of his thoughts quietly receded at this, apparently taking the hint that no, his input was neither required nor wanted.

He shifted over to one side of the makeshift sleeping bag made of sheets and blankets, patting an empty spot next to him.

She curled up next to him appreciatively, smaller than he remembered. And when she pulled the blanket up over her shoulders and brushed one of his bare feet with hers, that prodding, agitating presence in the back of his mind enforcing the thought that something was off, damn it, became all that much more persistent.

But he ignored it, because there were other matters at hand at this moment. Her hand, for example, took priority in the situation when it found the dip of his waist to settle into. And when her index finger brushed over his stomach to his navel, making him flinch, and then followed the color-split up to the bottom of his ribcage, that quickly took up all of his attention.

He was at a loss for what to do, what to say, what to think. Sure, it was nice—why wouldn’t it be?—but he’d barely known her, and she very apparently didn’t trust him. He was the most trusted out of the group of “kittens,” of course, but he still hadn’t convinced her that she could confide in him. And with good reason. He knew who he was, and she knew, as well.

So this was why, with a much warranted face of puzzlement, Zetsu grabbed her wrist. “Sakura, I have to ask you to stop.”

“Why?” she asked, pulling away from him gently in order to climb full on top of him, and his breath caught in his throat.

“It is…indecent. And irresponsible.”

She giggled uncharacteristically—from what he knew of her, anyway—and leaned down to trace the curve of his ear with the tip of her tongue. And when she was finished, she whispered, “Who ever said I wanted to be responsible?” with lips that barely feathered over him.

And then there was a distant crash, and Zetsu’s dream was brought to a stuttering, gasping halt.

He sat up abruptly, eyes wide and heavy at the same time. He felt like he’d just fallen asleep barely five minutes ago, and from what he could see, pandemonium had already erupted in the living room.

Hidan and Deidara were standing over a very shattered and very irreparable vase, tulips and leaves peppering the carpet as water began to stain it.

Hidan snarled. “Fuck.”

O O O

Waking up with something warm and soft pressing against her bare stomach was actually a rather nice experience, Sakura figured. It soothed her muddled thoughts and left her with a little bit of an extra happiness boost for the rest of the day.

However, when that fuzzy thing turned out to be Tobi, who’d snuck under her shirt and was currently nuzzling against her stomach, that happiness abruptly vanished.

She thought about grabbing him by the tail and throwing him out the window. She thought about screaming. She even thought about letting it be, but that was a far-away, vague, stupid thought.

Instead, she shoved him aside. He barely blinked.

Sakura sat up fully and yawned, stretching her arms out until they popped, doing the same for each of her legs. Tobi seemed to think well on the idea from his position on her bedroom floor, stretching himself out almost flat and unsheathing his claws, flashing a tiny, pink tongue and kitten teeth with his own yawn.

A crash from somewhere in the living room jolted Sakura out of her reverie, breaking off her second wave of stretches and leaving her with that uncomfortable just-out-of-bed feeling that she absolutely hated. Well, she mused, she should probably go into the living room to see what it was they had done now. Every other day was an adventure with these guys, and hour by hour, minute by minute, they were starting to look a hell of a lot less dangerous to her.

Stopping momentarily in the bathroom connected to her bedroom to make herself look halfway presentable, she entered the living room with a feeling like today was going to be another weird, stressful, insane criminal-filled day.

Deidara and Hidan whipped their heads around to stare guiltily at her when she entered. For a moment, all she could do was stare, and then a sharp lance of anger struck through her.

“That was my mother’s vase, you assholes!”

However, one glance at the clock told her that the least of her worries was an old birthday present. Cursing, she fled back into the bedroom, throwing on her work clothes. She brushed her teeth and hair in record time, tugging a backpack-slash-purse over her shoulder.

No time to think of the Akatsuki now; whatever happened, happened, and she would just have to deal with it.

Kakuzu caught her by her elbow just as she started out the door, swinging her backwards into him.

Pawing his chest for balance for a moment before she jumped back and wiped her hands on her skirt—good God, she’d touched his stitches; that was just gross—she scowled. “What? Can’t you see I’m late?”

“Where the hell are you going?” he asked, and she could see the worry evident in his eyes. Maybe he thought she was abandoning them or something.

Scoffing, she righted the backpack-purse on her shoulder. “I’m going to work.You know, to make money? To feed your fat Akatsuki asses.”

Kakuzu looked slightly taken aback, and then he released her harshly. “How long are you going to be gone?”

“Why are you questioning me?” she snapped, and without giving an answer or a second glance, she was out the door and down the street, heading toward the hospital.

The rest of the day didn't turn out much better, with Naruto coming in twice with multiple fractures and a very inebriated, sexually aroused Genma. Tsunade thankfully sent her home after the lull around lunch, and Sakura decided to use that extra time to grab herself a cheap bite to eat and window shop.

Along her way she passed a grocery store, and her mind immediately flew to the seven veritable eating machines she had hoarded away at her house. Right after that, she thought about the depressing state of her fridge: empty.

Strolling sluggishly in the sliding doors, Sakura headed to the back of the store, planning to make a grand loop and save time. Those asses had better have cleaned up her vase.

After purchasing a large package of bottled water, bananas, cereal, milk, and various other essentials, she hefted the bags onto her shoulder and began the trudge home. Too bad Naruto was bitching around about his “fatal wounds” or she might have recruited him to carry some back to her house. Then again...she didn't want to think of what might happen should he come around suddenly and unexpectedly.

She was tempted to make an all-call for her “guests” to come and help her carry in the groceries, but decided against it. She didn’t want nosy neighbors peering in to see not one but seven men, all deathly familiar, filing in and out of her tiny apartment.

So she carried in the bags by her lonesome, wondering at the silence, and put them away methodically. And then she tiptoed down the hallway, because she was certain they were all up to something.

Finding Tobi sitting silently in the guest bathroom folding towels came as no surprise to her, and neither did Itachi and Zetsu’s presence in the living room reading books on the couch, or even Deidara’s poking around in her fridge. Kisame’s rapt attention to the daytime cooking channel was a little odd—it was cocktail and steak time with Aika Yamamoto—but otherwise, Sakura could see no clear evidence of her current uneasiness.

She sighed and dropped her bag on the floor soundly, perturbed when all five of the located Akatsuki immediately stopped what they were doing to stare at her curiously. She hated it when they did that.

They would peer at her when she entered the room or otherwise announced her presence, almost as if they expected her to start prattling off orders or something. She’d have to try that sometime… Meanwhile, there were criminals to pinpoint.

“Itachi.”

He blinked at her. Did she honestly expect anything more?

“Where are Hidan and Kakuzu?” She was sure it was them making her feel so weird. Where the hell were they?

“I believe they went into your room while you were at work. They will most likely still be there.”

Sakura sputtered. “W—what?” Itachi propped himself up with his elbow on the couch arm and continued reading. Sakura stomped to where Zetsu was sitting and glared at him. He gazed back at her, looking, for all intents and purposes, totally innocent. Yeah, right. Innocent.

“Why did you let them?”

Zetsu’s expression went carefully blank. “Let who do what?”

“You know damn well who I’m talking about. Hidan and—and Kakuzu! They are in my room doing God knows what with my stuff! I do not want any of you in there unless I have given you explicit permission.” She paused for breath and counted to ten while she was at it. “You know, all of you depend on me for food and shelter. It would be a shame if all of that suddenly disappeared, wouldn’t it?”

Without waiting to see Zetsu or any of the others’ reactions, Sakura stormed down the separate hallway connecting the living room to her own room and stopped shortly at her bedroom door when she heard familiar voices from within. So they were in there!

She knew they must’ve felt her presence outside the door, but maybe, just maybe, their attention was diverted enough for her to just lean over quietly and…

“Holy shit! Hey, stitch-face, look at these!”

Sakura clenched her fists. Surely not. Not even a man as vulgar as him would dare…

“I swear to Jashin this woman has the weirdest taste in underwear. You’d never know just by looking at the bitch that she wears a thong. There’s even fucking lace on it! Hey! Are you listening to me? Why the hell are you looking in her journal when there are underwear drawers to fuck with? Be a man, freakjob.”

Oh, they were all going to die. Slowly.

“Hey, you know what?”

Silence. Sakura slowly gripped the doorknob.

“What, you’re just gonna ignore me? Fine. I’ll just tell you.” There was another pause. “This thong…reminds me of the first time I ever fucked.”

Sakura heard Kakuzu snort, and there was a faint rustling of dime-store paper. “You? I would’ve thought a woman would run with fear as soon as you started taking your pants off. And aren’t you supposed to be abstinent, anyway? Don’t lie to yourself.”

The sharp snap of waistband elastic as Hidan flung the thong across the room. “Oh, yeah? Well, you’re not too fucking gorgeous over there, stitch-face. And I can have a fuck whenever I fucking feel like it, shithead.”

Kakuzu scoffed. “Well, prove it, then.”

Sakura blinked. Was that really Kakuzu in there? He was being awfully…dare she say it…playful. Were the whole lot of them putting up fronts in her presence just to prove a point? Of course, she admonished herself. It was only survival, on one hand. What with her rather harsh regime she had set up for them, what other choice did they have than hide their true—Sakura shook her head. No getting sappy. She had to survive them as well.

Still, this was rather interesting. What would Hidan say next? It was just like a freak soap opera!

“Well—I just—why the fuck do you need proof? It’s true! I’m not shitting you, man. Come on.”

“Just like it was true about that prostitute being your wife?”

“Well, that was—I had to say something in front of the guys…it was just—oh, no. I will fucking kill you! I swear to God I will kill you!”

“And now you’re just whining.”

Hidan made a choking noise, and for a while everything was so quiet—save for the continual flipping of her journal pages—that Sakura put her hand back around the doorknob—when had she taken it off…?—and prepared to burst in and raise some fucking hell up in there.

Hidan did a fine job taking over for her.

A deep, low moan permeated the silence, fluctuated by a series of high-pitched squeaks and some gasps for air.

“Unnnngh…uuuuuuummmmmphh…ohhhhhhh…eeehhh…”

Sakura blanched. What exactly were they doing in there?

Kakuzu evidently had the same opinion. She heard him leap up from the bed, most likely taking a defensive posture of some sort. A moment passed where Sakura dearly wished there was a hole in the wood of her door to peek in.

“What the hell was that?”

“That was…what the girl sounded like.” She could almost envision the blush coloring his face, his voice strangled and soft.

Kakuzu snorted again. He certainly did that a lot, Sakura noticed. All men did, really…what was with that, anyway?

“What, was it a female elephant?”

Sakura couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. Inside, she could hear the two men start at the racket she made. All right, she wouldn’t kill them this time, just for making her laugh. She would just hide her journal better next time.

…She was still going to kill them, though. Eventually.

Maybe.

She waited about five more minutes in the hallway, catching the attention of Tobi, who glanced at her curiously and returned to his business, and Zetsu, who grabbed her gaze and then promptly turned away.

Hidan and Kakuzu left presently, and even as Hidan continued on down the hallway toward the living room, Kakuzu stopped and stared.

Sakura cleared her throat. Why was she feeling like she’d done something wrong? They were the ones who’d been snooping in her room!

He pulled her by the arm into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

A small tremor shot up Sakura’s left arm, and she took a seat on the bed, ready to jump up at a moment’s notice. Kakuzu was intelligent, sure, but he was also volatile. And she didn’t trust him. Not at all.

After staring at her for a few moments more, he sighed and leaned against her bookshelf, pressing his fingers to his temples. “You and I both know this isn’t going to work.”

She stopped the trembling in her lip. “What isn’t?”

He waved his free hand around the room. “Our living arrangements. We need to talk about a cure for our ‘condition.’”

She shuffled her feet and picked at a loose thread on her skirt. “I tried. I actually asked around the hospital at work today, specifically about conditions wherein the victim or patient is turned into some sort of animal. All anyone could come up with was a temporary jutsu, usually lasting less than a few hours.”

“So there’s nothing, then?” he asked, and though his voice had dropped, he still sounded incredibly agitated.

She nodded. “Nothing that I can see.”

She watched him stare at the carpet for a moment before he walked quietly out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

And Sakura just lay down on her bed and closed her eyes.

Things were getting more complicating, stranger, and definitely harder. She wondered, quite absently, how long it would take before someone eventually found out.

At that moment, Tobi popped his head in the door. “Sakura, a man named Naruto is here to see you. Zetsu is talking to him now, I think.”

Her heart abruptly dropped into her stomach.